https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 05:21:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2143962 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 17:14:06 +0000 BSB 2143962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: I like that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2143874 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:47:51 +0000 travellingbee 2143874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will tell you something that one of my friends and my MIL both have told me. They both said, "Know that I am thinking about you but I won't ask you for information. I will wait for you to tell me what you'd like to share." I really liked that because it helped to know they were thinking of me but took the worry off of my mind that they might ask during the middle of a failed cycle or a miscarriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2143834 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:23:44 +0000 Shutterbug 2143834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been through this six times (4 IUI, 2 IVF) and the one friend who has known all along has handled it really well, by basically doing what everyone above is suggesting. Just a "thinking of you!" every now and then, not pushing for details, but being excited/supportive when I did share details. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2143774 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 14:28:24 +0000 SweetiePie 2143774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree that a "thinking of you" in a week or so would be perfect. I wouldn't ask, let her tell you.<br /> When I went through IVF I didn't tell anyone (not even my mom and sis) any of the big dates (retrieval, transfer, etc) because I didn't want anyone looking at a calendar and counting down, and then asking.<br /> I think it's really nice that you are thinking about this and want to be sensitive to her feelings :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2143651 Tue, 14 Apr 2015 13:30:20 +0000 BSB 2143651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a simple 'I just want you to know I'm thinking of you' is perfect. </p> <p>If is unsuccessful, I wouldn't want people constantly asking if it worked. </p> <p>If it is successful, I may not be ready to tell anyone until I'm further along. </p> <p>I think it's great that she told you she was having an IUI, but just because she told you doesn't mean she is ready to spill the beans on the results. I know I still want to be a normal mom who gets to wait til i'm 8-12 weeks to announce. But having IF for so long, you kinda still need to support which is probably why she told you about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2139266 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 01:09:17 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2139266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems like she is fairly open about her TTC by telling you she is doing IUI and when she is ovulating so I don't think it would be strange asking how everything is going in a couple weeks, or even asking if she is having any symptoms before then. When I didn't want to be asked I didn't talk to anyone about trying. Once I was open about going through IVF I got a lot of supportive texts and questions from people following up which showed me they cared and were invested also in how things were going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138600 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 15:19:29 +0000 ineebee 2138600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely a "thinking of you" text would be great. I think I also would've appreciated some total transparency: "I want to follow up with you to find out how it went, but I also want to give you your space. Feel free to tell me as much or as little as you like - just know I'll be thinking of you in two weeks and wishing you the best thoughts!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138520 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 14:30:09 +0000 Mrs. Coral 2138520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just always send a little extra love when a friend is going through stuff like that..."Happy Friday!" "Hope you're doing well" "Thinking of you!"...stuff like that. I hope it leaves the door open to talk if she needs to, but to also keep things to herself if that's what she needs too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138513 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 14:26:23 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2138513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hated being asked, especially after the first two didn't work and ended up not telling people about any subsequent ones because I was so, so tired of having to relive the disappointment of a failed cycle each time someone asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138505 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 14:22:52 +0000 LindsayInNY 2138505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have hated to be asked. I shared with people who knew, as I wanted to, but that was it.</p> <p>I think a "thinking of you" would be fine. Nothing more though. She'll share if she wants to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138114 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 11:10:51 +0000 Torchwood 2138114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in a similar situation, and I'm planning to say something to the effect of, "I wanted to ask, but I wasn't sure if I should" once I hear from her. So she'll know I was thinking about her, and maybe she'll say what I should do in the future if she would want me to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138112 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 11:09:44 +0000 travellingbee 2138112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreed with everyone above. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138086 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:59:57 +0000 wrkbrk 2138086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: NP! :) Good luck to your friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138033 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:44:22 +0000 mrscobee 2138033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@TemperanceBrennan: True, very good point!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138032 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:43:41 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2138032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a simple "thinking of you" is perfect. It shows that you care without expecting anything back. It leaves the ball in her court. Even if it is successful, she might not feel comfortable sharing with anyone until after an ultrasound. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138030 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:42:59 +0000 mrscobee 2138030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: Perfect! That is kind of what I thought, but definitely didn't want to come across as uncaring - this is a great suggestion! Thanks!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138022 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:39:56 +0000 wrkbrk 2138022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: I would NOT ask if she's tested, or what happened, or anything like that. To me, that is the equivilent of the very annoying "Did he call? Did he call?" Lol. I went through IUI and 2 people knew we were doing it. I think a simple "thinking of you!" would be great a time or two during the TWW. Then rely on her to tell you good news if there is some. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-going-through-iui-should-i-ask-in-a-few-days-about-how-it-ended-up#post-2138018 Thu, 09 Apr 2015 10:37:40 +0000 mrscobee 2138018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a friend doing her last round of IUI. She said she got the smiley face and to send good thoughts for her that this round works out. Does that mean she will know in about 2 weeks whether it worked? Should I follow up and ask how she is doing or rely on her to share any good news when the time comes? I don't want to ask for an update if the news is bad, but don't want to seem uncaring, since she specifically asked for positive thoughts!</p> <p>Yes, I know I am completely clueless about this, which is why I am asking, so please forgive my ignorance! </p>