https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 17:38:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2291003 Tue, 15 Sep 2015 03:37:55 +0000 erinpye 2291003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of people get confused and don't realize it's at least 20 lbs *and* 1 yr old. I had a friend FF her son who was over the weight limit, but only about 9-10 months old, and I let her know right away. She wasn't offended, and I think you just have to approach it as something a lot of people are confused about, and you're just trying to be helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290891 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 20:47:44 +0000 Foodnerd81 2290891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm almost positive my ped mentioned the car seat and that they recommend rear facing until two. But quickly in a visit, not a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290815 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 19:15:28 +0000 Trailmix 2290815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our pediatrician has never discussed car seats with us. To be fair, we live in NYC where most people don't have cars but still, didn't even occur to me that she should!<br /> I think you did all you could be texting and letting her know and the rest is up to her! Hopefully she's able to turn the seat around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290744 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 17:27:05 +0000 winniebee 2290744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I think it's strange that her pediatrician never discussed with her. Ours says to try to make it to age 2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290743 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 17:26:24 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2290743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No way would I mention it. In Australia most people turn their kids around between 6 months and 12 months. I know the stats, I've watched the scary videos, I've had american and canadian friends give "friendly" advice, but my husband and I did what works best for us and our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290741 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 17:16:40 +0000 mauxie 2290741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: We just had our 18 mo wellness checkup and our Ped asked about the carseat and which way it was facing. She also confirmed that my 3 year old DD was still in a carseat. It seemed pretty standard so I guess it just depends... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something/page/2#post-2290710 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 15:57:16 +0000 travellingbee 2290710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: my ped. never mentioned car seats at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290705 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 15:44:45 +0000 josina 2290705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Peanut: No, she just said "good to know". I'm not sure if her seats are convertible and go both ways, or if she would have to buy new seats? I let her know that it's recommended to be rear facing until 2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290704 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 15:43:15 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2290704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: Did she say if she would switch her back?? I'm glad you said something! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290703 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 15:41:46 +0000 josina 2290703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I ended up texting her to casually thank her for meeting up, and a btw noticed your LO was facing front, did you know it's illegal to be front-facing until they are 1 yo/20 lbs.<br /> She said she didn't know and switched both her girls at 6 months when they were too big for the infant seat. Yikes. </p> <p>Makes me wonder how much more I know just from the bee...</p> <p>Edit: thinking about this though our pediatrician told me rear-facing until 1 year, and it's on the hand outs they give us too. So it just seems so odd that she doesn't know? Is it not common for dr's to mention it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290702 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 15:40:55 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2290702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: I agree! I would say something like that. As if she must have heard that the law was changed or something, rather than questioning her choices necessarily outright. </p> <p>Another thing to remind yourself when you are getting the courage to bring it up, how bad would you feel if she got into an accident and something serious happened to her baby? Then I'm sure EMTs or something would be talking to her about car seat safety and she may be saying, "Really?! I had no idea! If I would have only known..." That being said, if she responds that she knows and she thinks it's fine, drop it. You aren't there to judge her decisions, but you've said enough to make her conscious of it in a polite way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290588 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 13:47:53 +0000 tlynne 2290588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely say something. If an accident were to happen to your friend, and the baby is hurt because your friend didn't know the car seat was to be RF...this would be terribly sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290580 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 13:42:00 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2290580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I usually in the MYOB camp when it comes to car seats, *unless* it's for a law violation. Since you just looked up the law, I would say you could shoot a short text "Hey, I just learned the other day that it's illegal to FF if baby's under a year old. My pediatrician had mentioned it, but I didn't know that was a law! I thought of you, b/c I saw Baby X FF at lunch &amp; thought I'd pass it along. It was great seeing you; lets hang out again soon!"</p> <p>ETA: I'd personally avoid anything about how you're not trying to criticize/question her decisions or how you've been thinking about this and had to say something, because that might sound judgemental to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290517 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 12:54:46 +0000 Elizabear 2290517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask myself how I would feel if this child was hurt or worse in an accident. That is the ultimate issue - the safety of the child. I would call, always better than email or text, and explains how much it has been bugging you and eating you up deciding if you should say something and how much you care about her and her family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290511 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 12:51:28 +0000 winniebee 2290511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would text her just like mediagirl suggested. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290436 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 12:00:37 +0000 Corduroy 2290436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on what kind of a parent/person she is. I have friends that are rebels and don't give a hoot about laws or safety. I wouldn't say anything to them. </p> <p>To a more cautious or law abiding friend I would ask what prompted them to forward face (car sickness, crying, convenience). Then I would mention it's illegal and suggest some ways to help them while RF (airflow, mirror, music, etc). If you don't have suggestions refer them to car seats for the littles on FB (but I would acknowledge that that page can get a little nutty). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290411 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 11:38:30 +0000 mauxie 2290411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something. Can you put in a way like, "ohhh she's FFing? I know this family and they FFd before the X year minimum law bc they didn't know and its been a lot of trouble for them bc they got pulled over.. " and maybe share that in other states/counties RFing is required for much longer bc of safety... I'd say like "Oh I once saw this video on Youtube about FFing too soon and it was just so scary we waited until 2 to switch." </p> <p>I'd try my best to share the info without criticizing their parenting. </p> <p>My DH once posted an IG photo with DD's chest clip a bit lower than her armpits and our friend (a guy) said "hey you might want to raise it a bit, safety first ;)" and we took NO offense. I tell my husband all the time and I'm glad someone else pointed it out so I'm not the only one haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290400 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 11:33:27 +0000 yoursilverlining 2290400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually think you should MYOB when it comes to car seats unless someone is being insanely irresponsible, but if she is breaking the law I think you should tell her so. </p> <p>I’d definitely preface the email the way @littlejoy said and make sure the email is about making sure your friend knows that the law is X vs. questioning her parenting. You could even throw in a disclaimer about her having her reasons, yada yada, but that you don’t want her to have any legal trouble for not complying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290376 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 11:21:00 +0000 coopsmama 2290376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd email her and say something like "man, I'd really hate for you to get a ticket for this so here's the info about the law" and attach a link with the law spelled out. Bonus points if you can find a link that also explains why it's so much safer for a child to be RF until at least two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290352 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 11:03:41 +0000 littlejoy 2290352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm the worst, and would totally just send an email! She'll probably be defensive or embarrassed, and maybe that's best for her to process on her own. </p> <p>I would preface anything with a "I know it's really hurtful to have someone question any parenting choice you make, but I couldn't let this go." </p> <p>Good luck. This is a tricky situation, but telling her really is the best thing for the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290343 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:54:04 +0000 kiddosc 2290343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have said something. I would start by just letting her know that it's illegal, but would probably try to move into the fact that it's safer to keep them RF much longer. I don't think emailing her, or sending a FB message, is a bad idea in this situation since it's not just you spouting your opinion... you're helping her not get a ticket. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290324 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:34:58 +0000 Greentea 2290324@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it is a friend, I might say something. It is so tricky, I see parents do things that used to be acceptable that aren't now, in the year 2015, so sometimes they just might not know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290290 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:14:09 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2290290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend does the same thing and I never said anything because she isn't the type to take kindly to unsolicited advice. She knows it's illegal. </p> <p>She probably thinks I'm insane for having my 18 month old RF. if you think your friend wouldn't be offended, let them know. I personally wouldn't be offended if a friend nicely told me something i was doing was illegal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290289 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:13:52 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2290289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was a really good friend I would have said in the moment "oh I though the law was to rear face until a year?" If she already knew and had a reason for flipping I wouldn't have pushed it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290285 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:09:42 +0000 runnerd 2290285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who has made the choice to turn my son around to FF at 14 months, I would still say you most definitely should ask her about it. I wouldn't even mention the 2 years recommendation - 1 is the law as far as I know everywhere around the U.S. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290283 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:09:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2290283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree, that young its very dangerous and against the law. I would say something for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290280 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:08:13 +0000 birdofafeather 2290280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: I would approach it the exact same way.</p> <p> It's your friend and it's not a preference thing (like over 1 but 2 recommended) but she could actually get in trouble with the law. I don't think there's anything wrong or taboo about that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290270 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:02:22 +0000 MrsKoala 2290270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's illegal so I'd point that out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290269 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 10:01:36 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2290269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would try to say it in as non aggressive way as possible but I would still ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-has-her-9-month-old-in-forward-facing-car-seat-would-you-say-something#post-2290266 Mon, 14 Sep 2015 09:59:31 +0000 QBbride 2290266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely say something. It's not like you're pushing keeping the child rear facing past two or something, the baby is under one and it's the law (did good reason)! I would just think I'd never forgive myself if I didn't say something and something bad happened. </p>