https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 03:51:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809994 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 22:39:02 +0000 MsBAM 2809994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It all went well! We went for a walk too! And she was actually pretty good with LO today! No complaints! Thank you :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809891 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 13:49:18 +0000 KT326 2809891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: I agree with @Truth Bombs, try to find another way to get together without the baby. Or if you just aren't enjoying the visits don't invite her over? </p> <p>I have friends who love to talk, but I'm also not much of a talker so it works for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809863 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 13:03:46 +0000 petitenoisette 2809863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t think this is really a problem with the baby but just that her visits in general aren’t working as is. I agree with @Truth Bombs: that you should arrange for a different way to hang out so you’re not trying to juggle her and the baby for hours on end. If going out without the baby isn’t a possibility, can she at least come for naptime? Also maybe arrange for a visit where you have something to go do at a certain point so it doesn’t last as long (or better yet just tell her point blank when it’s time to go, etc.). I also agree with others if all she does is talk about herself for hours on end I’m not sure it’s the type of relationship you want to really nurture... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809838 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 12:07:43 +0000 erinbaderin 2809838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t really get what you want her to do. She’s coming over to hang out with you, not the baby. If it’s too much work for you then I would tell her when she visits that you can only hang out for an hour or something, but I wouldn’t expect my childless friend to come over to visit me and spend much, if any, time playing with or talking to my kids. I think encouraging her to play blocks or get down on the floor with your kid is going to see patronizing and off putting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809833 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:52:34 +0000 Truth Bombs 2809833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: If this set up is so exhausting why do you continue to do it? If you don't enjoy spending time with her, stop. If you do enjoy spending time with her, but it's difficult to do when your child is around, make plans for a girls night out and leave the baby at home with your husband. I'm definitely of the opinion that she really doesn't have an obligation to interact with your child and I would not be taking action to force it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809831 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:49:32 +0000 Mama Bird 2809831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. Does she ever ask how you are? I think I'd lose my mind if someone talked and talked at me and it was all a one-way street. The fact that you're also entertaining a nine month old makes this so much worse, but I feel like it's not just about the baby... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809830 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:45:13 +0000 Peasinapod 2809830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first had extreme stranger anxiety as a baby / young toddler. So I preferred people not interact with her. It definitely made me more distant with other peoples kids / babies because I don't want to stress the baby out like I know mine would have been. </p> <p>Maybe she just doesn't want to over step or make the baby cry? </p> <p>Now that my second is much more easy going I've found I'm more likely to interact with other people's children. But having a child who actively disliked being interacted with gave me a different perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809821 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:30:59 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2809821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad does this. </p> <p>He comes over. Sits down. Talks. My kids then start acting out and begging for attention. He occasionally gives my son shit for being bad while telling my daughter how cute she is. No advice other then I've stopped seeing him unless my husband is around to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809820 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:26:58 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2809820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my son was younger I also had this issue with a couple friends who just didn’t get it. I craved the time to see them but it was so draining. I find taking my son for a walk with a friend was much easier since he was contained and entertained and I could focus on talking to the friend. I agree a lot of people have no clue what to do with young babies but if you’re out and about and he’s in a seat, then you can have your time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809816 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:13:23 +0000 MsBAM 2809816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: I’m not asking her to interact but it’s hard to pay attention to her and him when she’s talking the whole time! I don’t expect her to hold him either, he has bad separation anxiety as well. It’s just by playing it makes the visit go more smoothly for all of us, and keeps him entertained so we can talk. It’s not like it’s just an hour, it’s usually a few hours... tough to keep a 9mo occupied that long so I can listen to this friend talk. Which is why it would be nice to have some fun help, like playing and talking.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: You nailed it!!!! That’s absolutely the issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809815 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:12:59 +0000 gingerbebe 2809815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: I don't think she HAS to interact with the baby, but OP seems to indicate this is a close friend, who basically just comes over and talks her ear off about her life, and then doesn't really do anything to be helpful. If I was going to go over to a friend's house for hours and yap about my life and I knew she was at home with an infant, I'd try to help out SOME how while taking up her time. I think directing the friend to pay attention to the child is more a way of saying "yeah that sucks about the guy you were dating - hey, so THIS happened in MY life." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809814 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:06:43 +0000 KT326 2809814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I just don't see why she has to interact with the baby? I never expect my friends (especially those without kids) to interact with my kids when they come over. My kids have always had terrible separation anxiety at that age so I never would have been able to leave them alone in a room together anyway. </p> <p>Even though I have kids, if I am visiting a friend and her baby/child, I never really play with their kid unless the kid is old enough to ask or comes over to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809811 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 11:00:57 +0000 MsBAM 2809811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: Hey I love these ideas!!!! I’ll try these today! Maybe she just needs more direction!</p> <p>@bluemasonjar: I know I thought it was an odd request as well. Definitely gonna try to be more direct to help her play during the visit! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809807 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:55:44 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2809807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Asking you to turn off the TV seems odd to me especially if it is keeping LO distracted so you can pay more attention to your friend. </p> <p>I guess I grew up with 4 younger brothers so being around babies comes naturally to me but even friends without kids have been accommodating and have followed my cues when I need to attend to my child during social occasions. </p> <p>Maybe look for ways to help her engage with your LO. I like others suggestions about playing with toys and then if she prefers not to then leave it alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809804 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:52:03 +0000 gingerbebe 2809804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 2 friends who absolutely adore our children but have no kids themselves and had no experience with children before our's were born. They are fabulous with our kids now and basically, all we did was invite them over regularly and just told them to play with our kids.</p> <p>Like, I'd offer them a drink and then direct them. "Hey, can you sit on the floor with him while I go get us something to drink?" And then listen and chat from across the room.</p> <p>Then I'd say "hey can you hold him for a sec while I use the bathroom?"</p> <p>"I'm going to grab us all a little snack - play peekaboo for a sec."</p> <p>Those interactions were small and short, but it began a bonding process for both my kids and for my friends. And then they started LIKING being the fun uncles and would pay attention to how much they had changed since the last time they visited, etc. etc. </p> <p>No joke, now we can't go 2 weeks without them calling and asking if we can have dinner so they can come over to play with the kids. </p> <p>If your friend wont even do that OR if she starts to withdraw from you because of it, well then I guess the relationship is too one-sided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809799 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:43:43 +0000 MsBAM 2809799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I don’t think she will help bc she won’t even hold him lol. I can walk away and ask her to keep an eye on him that’s about it lol. I’ll try to get her involved in some play today while she talks or I’ll play with him while she talks. It’s just it’s always a long visit with this friend so it’s tiring! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809796 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:41:26 +0000 MsBAM 2809796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Normal but exhausting for the momma’s! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809795 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:40:59 +0000 MsBAM 2809795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Exactly what I’m going to do today! She’s a good friend just I think doesn’t know better for the same reason you just mentioned! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809794 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:38:50 +0000 Ajsmommy 2809794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this is normal, especially for someone without kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809791 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:32:55 +0000 Tanjowen 2809791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: My little brother was like this until he had his first child last year. I had to just tell him what I was going to do or tend to LO and cut him off. Not rudely, but I couldn't cater to him over my kid. He didn't even seem to notice or take offense either, he just simply didn't get it. </p> <p>With the TV situation I would just have said, he can either watch a show or we need to sit down and play with him, your choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809785 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:24:21 +0000 snowjewelz 2809785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too think that it's hard to really "get it" if they don't have kids and/or are not around babies much. If she is a good friend, maybe be more vocal and ask her to help you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809784 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:23:40 +0000 MsBAM 2809784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: I don’t expect it to be all about him. It just kinda sucks having to entertain all while *trying* to put him first! It’s all good. Plus this person works with very young kids so i thought she might know but maybe she isn’t sure about babies. </p> <p>@loofah: Great idea!! I know she means well. Maybe I’ll have her play with his blocks while she talks and see how we do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809783 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:17:43 +0000 looch 2809783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sometimes what happens is that people don't know what to do around kids, myself included. You're worried you don't know what you're doing, you're worried you do it wrong, whatever.</p> <p>So, I always suggest to people that don't know what to do...pick up a book and start reading it aloud to the kids, of any age. It always works for me, especially when I am in a situation with a bunch of kids running around. One will always come over, and when that happens, I am surrounded by a group of them quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809781 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 10:15:26 +0000 alphagam84 2809781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't take offense or even think twice about it. Some people aren't into baby/kids and you can't expect them to be just because you have one. It is what it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-ignores-baby-when-visiting-advice#post-2809759 Wed, 14 Mar 2018 09:18:38 +0000 MsBAM 2809759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi!!</p> <p>I have a really good friend that’s really nice BUT when she comes to visit she just says hi to my 9mo LO but other than that she pretty much talks the whole time she’s over and ignores him (I don’t think she does it purposely). So, I’m left trying to socialize with her and I’m trying to keep LO happy and entertained... but it’s hard and exhausting bc she talks the entire time! Last time she came over I had a tv show on for him and she seriously asked me to turn it off. I think she’s just oblivious to it all because she doesn’t have kids. If I tell her I have to feed him and take him to another room she’s totally understanding of that though. Anyone else have friends like this? </p>