https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 08:56:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-362273 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 06:41:15 +0000 singingbee 362273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JamieLee: I think those kinds of friends are the best. It's never easy to lose a parent or a child. Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-362270 Fri, 26 Oct 2012 06:35:55 +0000 JamieLee 362270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac - </p> <p>That's true about making sure she has something to do. Sitting around thinking about it is the worst. After we miscarried, I would just sit in my house and read message boards and watch YouTube videos and cry. I had some good friends who intervened and took me out. Same thing after my mom died. It's been a year and a half and I still have trouble being in my dad's house where she died, so I am very appreciative of those kinds of friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-361934 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 21:20:31 +0000 singingbee 361934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tricycle: Thanks....hope you are doing well on bed rest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-361932 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 21:19:50 +0000 singingbee 361932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JamieLee: I think that's very good point. I was doing well when school started, which was right around our original due date. I was focused on a new school year, which helped me to be kind of distracted. Well, once school got started, I was in my routine and then boom! Everything hit me at once. It took a while to work through the new emotions that were hitting me. Some friends would just send me texts that let me know that they were thinking of me and would make sure we had something to do, especially on the weekends that Hubby was working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-360626 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:20:41 +0000 Mrs Checkers 360626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a nice sympathy card just saying you're thinking of her would be thoughtful and appreciated.</p> <p>Meals are always thoughtful. After a loss, sometimes you don't even think of eating, much less cooking anything. Delivering meals would be caring and would be 1 less thing she would have to think about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-360617 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:18:11 +0000 JamieLee 360617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would add that its important to be supportive later. When my mom died, there was a lot of outpouring of support at first, but then life goes on. The grief isn't as raw, but it's still there. I had a friend who would send me little cards every so often and that meant so much to me. And when her due date comes, that's going to re-open the wound, and then also a year from now, on the baby's birthdate. Just be there if she needs you and remind her that you care. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-360552 Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:02:52 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 360552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Her baby girl was delivered and named yesterday. :( Mom is doing okay.</p> <p>@Jennimac: oh how miserable. So sorry you had to experience something no mother should ever have to go through.</p> <p>A couple updates for anyone else in this situation - a guidance counselor and another teacher visited all her classes to explain the situation. The kids were all wonderfully understanding, many cried, and all asked to write cards. They were told to direct all questions to the guidance counselor or another teacher, rather than their teacher, and they were told the best they way they could her would be to be the best classes she'd ever had in terms of behavior, engagement, etc. </p> <p>In addition to a nursery gift certificate (for either a tree, tulips, whatever), the staff is buying a "Molly Bear" <a href="http://www.mollybears.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.mollybears.com/</a> and making a donation to March of Dimes in the baby's name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-357249 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:46:22 +0000 singingbee 357249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adnama: it was definitely not on my list of 'things i want to do today'. They felt worse, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-357248 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:44:32 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 357248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: Oh no. I am so sorry. That must have been horrible. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-357034 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 19:58:52 +0000 singingbee 357034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also got gift cards, so if I wasn't that hungry Hubby could go out. We could get take out and then we didn't have to worry about anything. We had lots of food delivered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-356952 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 19:05:25 +0000 googly-eyes 356952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with those who said meals. I haven't lost a LO but I think I may be suffering from PPD, and I wouldn't eat if my family hadn't been feeding me... I can imagine they might feel similarly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-356925 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 18:46:24 +0000 singingbee 356925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adnama: I just ran into some people that had not heard about our loss. Since I'm obviously not pregnant, they all asked how our little one was doing now. Cue tears and me explaining EVERYTHING again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-356916 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 18:42:18 +0000 JessicaMcB 356916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: I'm pretty sure you're thinking of "Owl Love You Forever"</p> <p><a href="http://owlloveyouforever.com/?page_id=2" rel="nofollow">http://owlloveyouforever.com/?page_id=2</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-356273 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:02:02 +0000 singingbee 356273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: yes. It was very helpful. When we went to mass that weekend, several families caught us and just hugged us and went on. It was what we needed. Several families made donations in her honor to our school's endowment fund. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355660 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 10:17:03 +0000 Mrsbells 355660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that is really sad/ I cant remember the exact site but there is website that sells owl themed gifts for parents who just lost a child by still birth or miscarriage. Maybe someone else has the link? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355648 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 10:13:59 +0000 tororojo 355648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Man, that really is horrible. :( I'll pray for her, that's all I can think of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355480 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 08:57:35 +0000 Alivoo01 355480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: That's really thoughtful of your school administration.</p> <p>It just breaks my heart to hear stories like this. It's just not fair, and never easy to deal with. I agree meals and a thoughtful card would mean a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355285 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 06:17:25 +0000 singingbee 355285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tricycle: at our school the administration sent out an email to our students and parents and informed them of my loss. That way I didn't have to explain it over and over again. When I came back the older kids were very respectful of not discussing it, but they did little things to let me know they were thinking of me. The younger kids just knew I wasn't having a baby anymore and would give me hugs. It helped not saying it over and over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355256 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 04:43:42 +0000 Mrs. Tricycle 355256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adnama: @Mrs Green Grass: I think there are plans to discuss it at tonight's faculty meeting so everyone is on the same page. Hadn't thought about telling students, but maybe I'll suggest guidance counselors speaker to her classes before she comes back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355150 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 22:41:24 +0000 mrsjyw 355150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>im so sorry... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355074 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:47:15 +0000 Ree723 355074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, that story brings tears to my eyes. I just can't imagine the heartache she must be feeling. My heart goes out to her. </p> <p>I haven't experienced anything even close to that on the grief scale, but I know that when things have been hard for me, a thoughtful card has never gone amiss. And I agree with the PP on getting the word out in a way that means she doesn't have to answer the same questions over and over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355067 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:44:16 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 355067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs Green Grass: My suggestion would be the same, see if you can get the word spread to avoid people asking her at school. I remember we had a teacher that had a miscarriage. SHe told us she was pregnant, and then a few weeks later a student congratulated her and she had to tell them she lost the baby. I know it would be impossible for everyone to know, but starting to get the word out would probably be appreciated </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355051 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:37:09 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 355051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what about a journal with a card? a journal could help her write down her thoughts during this difficult time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355034 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:23:11 +0000 dagret 355034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're looking to organize teachers at work for meals (beyond just you), the site takethemameal.com is pretty cool. You can organize sign up/dietary issues/etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-355002 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:13:22 +0000 pinkcupcake 355002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree w/everyone else that meals would be thoughtful. So heartbreaking :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-354982 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 21:03:33 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 354982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that meals are best. </p> <p>And maybe ask if there is anything you can do to help at school. I'm a teacher too and the thing I'm most scared of is having hundreds of people ask me how I am every single day. I'd probably want a certain story shared word of mouth before I came back to minimize the potential of crying at school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-354871 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 20:11:20 +0000 pastemoo 354871@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, I am so sorry!<br /> I agree that meals and a card would be good. And I also agree that a small gift on her due date (maybe a donation card to March of Dimes or a condolence card or something depending on her personal preferences). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-354855 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 20:03:18 +0000 Smurfette 354855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww my heart just breaks for them. I can't even imagine. This is my worse fear.</p> <p>I think meals and a thoughtful cards. If you know when her due date was, maybe put a reminder and send her flowers around that time too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-354838 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 19:47:49 +0000 singingbee 354838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We lost our baby at 20 wks. Same story...no heartbeat, already showing, had received some gifts, everybody knew. </p> <p>We received lots of flowers, but the sweetest things were just meals and heartfelt cards. We did receive some gift cards to some plant places, so we are going to get a tree or something when it's the one year anniversary of our loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-lost-baby-at-24-weeks-thoughts-on-what-i-can-do#post-354794 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 19:12:50 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 354794@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All are good ideas, but the most important thing is that you acknowledge her loss. How isn't as important, barring obviously insensitive stuff. My best friend went through this at roughly the same time and what matters to her most, and still does years later, is that we grieved her loss too and didn't try to sweep it under the rug or ignore it because we were uncomfortable. </p>