https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 21:45:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do/page/2#post-2023122 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 09:24:47 +0000 LuLu Mom 2023122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Didn't happen 2 years ago, happened in fall (football season) but we haven't replaced due to it not being grilling weather any longer in our area. Now that we are seeing some random warm days it would be nice to pull it out when an option. </p> <p>However, DH and I spoke about it last night, we are going to go pick one out this weekend, buy it, and if she jokes/mentions it again I'll just say "hey I know you think it's a funny story, however we'd appreciate if you stopped joking about it, kind of sucks when we weren't expecting this costly of an expense so close to baby" and hopefully that will be the end of that. Like I said she's one of my BFF (I'm her daughter's Godmother, I've known her since we were in kindergarten, our families are as close as family) so something as stupid as a grill is not going to ruin our friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2023102 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 09:01:35 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2023102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I think this is a recipe for a ruined friendship (see what I did there?? :silly: )</p> <p>@LuLu Mom: I too would be super annoyed...especially with her joking around about it. I think the chances of you seeing anything for the grill is slim to none. If this were me, I'd just suck it up and buy myself a new one.</p> <p>We actually ruined a friend of mine's blender. We felt absolutely awful and went out right away and bought her a new one. She kept telling us not to b/c they hardly ever use it, but dude...I'm the one who burned out the motor. Of course I'm going to replace it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2023018 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 06:52:36 +0000 PrincessBaby 2023018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do agree that's a really weird reaction, although it sounds like she's oblivious to the cost or something? Maybe she thinks a grill is like $50 or just a negligible expense that you're not really concerned with. I bought my husband a Weber 3 or 4 years ago and that puppy was like $800, so if it got ruined, it would really irk the piss out of me! BUT I'd probably just be privately irked, and let it eat me up. My husband, who is super laid back, would probably just be like, "It is what it is. Accidents happen." And then he'd maybe get a little excited about getting some later and greater version of his grill, lol, knowing him:)</p> <p>I honestly cannot imagine any of our friends being oblivious to ruining something like that. That's a really unfortunate reaction. I had a friend crack a Riedel wine glass - 1 wine glass - and you would have thought she broke every dish in my house the way that she tried to throw money at me for one wine glass. I didn't take it, but I probably would have for the grill! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022964 Wed, 14 Jan 2015 00:31:35 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2022964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened two years ago. If your friends were going to chip in and pay they would have done so already. I'm not a fan of hinting as I believe straight talk makes for straight understanding and resolutions. Even if you straight up asked them for compensation now it's likely to annoy them even if you comply. Why wasn't this settled two years ago? Holding on to this and brining it up just seems petty. I agree with the PP that said you should try to get her to stop with her non-funny jokes. That just reopens up the costly wound. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022711 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 18:52:28 +0000 Torchwood 2022711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I pretty much agree with what @psw27 said. You really need to stop her joking about it, because it's causing you resentment. And it might get it through to her that it's a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022524 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:37:00 +0000 psw27 2022524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would just suck it up and pay for it and also be super, super pissed about it... But I agree with what you plan to do to politely tell her to shush if she wants to make any more jokes about it. In fact, I would probably say something like, "I know you think its funny that you ruined our $400 grill but its actually not funny to me at all so can you please stop making light of it?" That should shut her up.... </p> <p>also, she must be a pretty bad cook to ruin a grill with bacon. That takes talent. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022504 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 16:24:40 +0000 AprilFool 2022504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think either you or DH needs to say to the husband "If you were serious about offering money to replace the grill, we are about to do that and it will be $xx". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022459 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 15:59:14 +0000 Raindrop 2022459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if they just said sorry and didn't offer to pay for it, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Accidents happen. Now them offering to pay for it makes the situation worst... especially if they are not following through.</p> <p>Something a long time ago happened to me... I have special mirror in my car which widens my back view. One of my friends wanted to drive and I'm pretty okay with that. He didn't like the mirror and wanted to remove it.... I told him to wait... and that I would remove it... but he went to remove it on his own and broke. He felt bad and offer to pay for it. I use that mirror a lot so I went to buy it again right away and so a few days a later I told him I bought it and this is how much it is. I think he was shocked by the price and then said... he *never* offered to pay for it. He wouldn't even offer to pay for *some* of it. He stopped talking to me after that. I was kind of shocked by the whole thing. </p> <p>I know you said you wouldn't end a friendship over this but I feel these types of things really shows the true colors of a person. Just saying. </p> <p>To anwer your question : I would just pony up the money, and buy a new grill if I needed and not bring it up to those friends again. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022458 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 15:59:09 +0000 LuLu Mom 2022458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I honestly have no idea, my husband just told me later that he offered us some money (DH was pretty pissed about it, but he hides it well) so I'm sure he said "thank you" and not "don't worry about it" however he's not confrontational so it's possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022447 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 15:50:32 +0000 mrbee 2022447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: If her husband promised your husband to pay for it, I'd have him contact her husband and ask if the offer is still good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022440 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 15:46:15 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2022440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd be annoyed but would suck it up and buy a new one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022384 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 15:20:29 +0000 Greentea 2022384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: :) Sorry, on my phone I can't reply to more than one @person at a time. So, was your husband like, "okay. Let's do that. Thank you," (and then the friends never mentioned it again?) or was your husband more like, "don't worry about it." Maybe she didn't know he offered to pay for it? (Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022159 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:46:02 +0000 HabesBabe 2022159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's been made worse because a) her husband offered to pay for it and b) she makes jokes about ruining it. Had it been just an accident, followed by an apology, I would've felt better about having to pay for it (because accidents do happen). I'd be really annoyed about paying for it with those two factors, but you gotta do what you gotta do :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022126 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:28:27 +0000 LuLu Mom 2022126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I'm right here :) Her husband spoke to my husband and her husband said "dude we'll give you money to replace it." And that was that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022115 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:25:02 +0000 Greentea 2022115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: so my question would be: what did OP say when the friends originally offered? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022104 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:22:02 +0000 LuLu Mom 2022104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: this is something along the lines I will probably go with, I think that's the part that annoys me she was insistent on doing it herself even making the comment like "come on you guys I have a degree in culinary arts, I know what I'm doing" well obviously not enough to but tinfoil down to catch the grease drip ;) Maybe that's why she's in insurance now! JUST KIDDING!!! that was mean </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022101 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:21:56 +0000 Synchronicity 2022101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I like this response a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022100 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:21:25 +0000 wonderstruck 2022100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: But she shouldn't even have to hint! It's incredibly rude to insist on using your friend's expensive appliance without help, ruin it, and then not follow up on your offer to help buy a new one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022098 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:21:11 +0000 Synchronicity 2022098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a lost cause at this point. If I were your friend I would have given you money right away, but a year later I doubt it's going to happen. Crappy situation :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022096 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:20:09 +0000 wonderstruck 2022096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's incredibly rude, but I'd give up on any hope of getting that money back. But next time I would say, "I'm a little sensitive to the jokes about you ruining the grill since I miss having it and it's just not in our budget to buy a new one right now." If she says the boys should've been helping I would flat out say, "I seem to remember you telling DH that you had it under control." If she gets mad...well, she broke your grill after being insistent about not letting anyone help and then proceeded to not give you any money and be completely insensitive about it - she is NOT the one with a reason to be mad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022095 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:20:01 +0000 LuLu Mom 2022095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@shinymama: Her husband....is different. He can be very abrasive and I don't want to go that route. I think I will just buy a new one and if she joke about it again I will probably say "you can laugh because you didn't have to replace a $400 grill!" Maybe that will shut her up ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022092 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:19:21 +0000 Greentea 2022092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think hinting is really fair. If you want something, I think you should have a more straightforward conversation. I grew up hinting and was taught it was polite. When I met my husband he told me that he has nothing but good intentions and that he DOES NOT pick up on hinting. So imo, you cannot consider her not offering to be a rude offense. In fact, if she is someone that communicates like my husband does- she may consider hinting to be rude (and my husband helped me to see that hinting can be considered passive aggressive.)</p> <p>To answer the question: I would let it go. Accidents happen. If however, it is very important to you, have a straightforward talk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022086 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:16:35 +0000 shinymama 2022086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People can be so dense. If I was your friend I would have already given you money to replace it OR not ever, ever brought it up. Since her husband made the offer to help buy a new one, could you bring it up casually in conversation with him?</p> <p>Side note: DHs best friend lost my camera on a trip, and instead of replacing it (like a normal human being) he gave us a camera as our wedding present. Seriously. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022082 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:13:50 +0000 Mae 2022082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: thats what i was thinking of-- same situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022075 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:11:24 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2022075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah I'd be annoyed but I'd just drop it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022074 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:10:30 +0000 youboots 2022074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: ha this reminds me of the Sex in the City episode where Carrie resisters for the one pair of high heels. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022072 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:10:06 +0000 Mrs. Bee 2022072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would just suck it up and pay for it but if i ruined the grill, i'd have paid for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022071 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:09:47 +0000 youboots 2022071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: I think it's probably best. You may want to say something very direct to her next time she "jokes" about it that you did have to replace it and would appriciate her not talking about it anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022069 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:09:14 +0000 Mae 2022069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd make a registry at lowes, put the grill you want on it, and when they get the invite for your baby shower tell them you're registered at lowes ;) </p> <p>jk i'd buy a new grill and not push the issue because it is awkward. But I'd be super salty about it probably. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friend-question-what-would-you-do#post-2022068 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:09:13 +0000 catomd00 2022068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never would accept money for it (accidents happen!) but I would be pretty annoyed at the jokes but no offer to replace it. </p>