https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 06:18:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669443 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 15:18:00 +0000 mdf106 2669443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I would encourage you to do the play date. The single dad probably has a lot of trouble with play dates. My husband stays home, and has trouble with play dates, and I imagine it would be much worse as a single dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669434 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 15:08:32 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2669434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: you've gotten some good responses here...the only thing I am thinking is...it's gotta be isolating to be a single dad to twin girls! If I were in that dad's situation I would be glad for anyone to reach out to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669358 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 14:09:44 +0000 mediagirl 2669358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like we may just want to let this friendship run its course. It's too much trouble and we won't see them when we start K anyways. The other parent is a dad, too so I wouldn't feel super comfy saying, Come over for coffee and a play date! And my kid likes to have one on one play time and gets left out a lot when it's not one on one time, so I think I'll just let them be friends at school but not plan anything outside of school. I think she gets enough time at school learning how to incorporate play with other, we don't have to force that at home, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669291 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 12:30:07 +0000 Maysprout 2669291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't exclude the other twin at this age. My twin friends separated more as they got older and I shared more activities with the one but honestly even as adults it's always been an open invite for both. And coming from a big family I saw lots of kids who'd try to exclude my sisters if we were on the playground bc they just wanted one person to play with but I think it's a good skill to learn to incorporate others at times even if they're not your bff </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669283 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 12:26:10 +0000 Rocker2014 2669283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'm not a twin mom, but I really like the idea @youboots: suggested, to leave it up to the other mom. Saying somthing open ended like, "My LO and Twin A seem to get along well, we should set up time for the kids to play together" and seeing what she says in response would probably give you all the answer you need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669270 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 12:07:52 +0000 BSB 2669270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Babies are too young at this point so I don't know how I feel but I can say, I don't know if I would be too fond of someone suggesting to pick my one twin up. I would want to be there while the kids play... you know so I can make sure my one kid is behaving. If we had a few playdates already, I could see myself being a bit more comfortable with you picking up my child. </p> <p>I would still suggest a playdate that is big enough that possibly one twin could go play with your daughter while my other kids can play in a separate room or area. I would prefer to take all of my kids (I only have two but she has more) to the playdate. A park sounds good to me because it's free. Also, since she is a single parent, she might not even have time. </p> <p>I would ask her if she is willing to meet at a park for a playdate.</p> <p>I know there is no way to ask this because you certainly don't want to invite yourself over... but if her house is big enough, I would probably tell you guys to come over. Unless the purpose of the playdate is to be away from home. Then, I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669257 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 11:37:13 +0000 Boogs 2669257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm married to a twin, so asked for advice. Do something like the park play date and see how that goes. It's nice for twins to have their own identities and own friendships, but at that age it might be hard for the twin who would be left behind to understand. I'm really weird about taking responsibility for other people's kids so unless I was really close with someone I likely wouldn't pick up their kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669217 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 10:28:03 +0000 Anagram 2669217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I don't have twins but I have 2 kids who are 2 years apart. We do a lot of play dates and I almost always bring both kids, because as PPs have mentioned, it's not feasible or practical to hire a sitter just to go to a play date. I would rather not have a play date than to have to hire someone and pay like $50 to attend a play date. </p> <p>The only times I go solo is for birthday parties when only one kid has been invited (most people actually invite both of our girls), because Bday parties are usually on weekends, so my husband will stay with one while I take one.</p> <p>If LO knew the parent/friend well (and if I knew them well.), and they wanted to pick up oldest LO and take her solo to the park or to their house, I think I would be fine with that. Or a drop-off play date. But there's only 1 mom in DD1's class that I feel like I know well enough for that kind of scenario. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669196 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 10:11:57 +0000 youboots 2669196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Coming back to this could you just leave it up to the Mom? She knows her kids best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669192 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 10:09:09 +0000 stargal 2669192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would be hurt and offended if you invited one twin and not the other... i think the twin not invited would feel the same way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2669189 Thu, 22 Dec 2016 10:07:31 +0000 sunnyday 2669189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for posting this!!</p> <p>My DD has b/g twins in her class and my DD has been struggling socially but does talk about the g twin at home often. Teacher has suggested we do play date, but without the b twin because the twins are so bonded and it would be good for my DD and for the g twin to form separate bonds! Definitely not going to force anything, but it's definitely tricky. We have yet to do play dates with anyone without parents attending too, so maybe in future! I wouldn't expect a parent to not bring all kids while not at the age to drop off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668923 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:10:53 +0000 MissLace 2668923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say you should offer to pick up the friend and let the mom have "one on one time" with the other twin. </p> <p>I know they're still little but being a twin myself, my sister and I always hated that everyone thought of us as a package deal and rarely invited just one of us to do something even if the other wasn't even friends with them. The twins are going to want (at least some) of their own friends eventually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668918 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:02:17 +0000 twodoghouse 2668918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I mignt just be oversensitive about this topic! Maybe some moms of older twins will chime in! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668893 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 16:32:26 +0000 mediagirl 2668893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: thank you. As I mentioned above, I was hoping for some twin parent advice. :) I can see how at this age that could definitely be hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668877 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 16:14:20 +0000 gotkimchi 2668877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe leave it up to the mom? Say I've noticed Jane and Susie are quite close. Jane really wants a play date with Susie! I know it can be tricky to arrange child care, what will be best? We could all meet at a park or I could pick up Susie/the twins? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668875 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 16:09:55 +0000 lawbee11 2668875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has twins in her class and we'd definitely invite both over for a play date. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668874 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 16:06:06 +0000 twodoghouse 2668874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My twins are younger (2.5), so I don't know how my feelings will evolve in the coming years. That said, I would be borderline offended and certainly hurt on my other child's behalf, if someone said they only wanted one of my kids to come over and play and I should leave the other at home. I'm not a single mom, but I SAH during the day and don't have an in-town childcare option, so if someone requested a play date for only one of my kids, it wouldn't be feasible for me to attend. I know my kids will get to the age where they have their own friends/social groups and activities, and of course I'll be ok with that when the time comes! But even at the age of four, I feel like inviting one and not the other feels exclusive and hurtful. I don't want either of my kids feeling left out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668868 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 16:01:55 +0000 Andrea 2668868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I pick up other kids (4 year olds, too) for play dates so she might be open to it! It might be nice for the twin to have her own special play date, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668851 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 15:43:50 +0000 youboots 2668851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you pick the one friend up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668814 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 15:03:40 +0000 mediagirl 2668814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: yeah, I'm thinking that might be the best bet here. Maybe when they're a little older and the child can be dropped off, this would be easier? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668811 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 15:02:02 +0000 Mama Bird 2668811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd invite them all. Otherwise the mom has to come with just one child and arrange child care for the rest. She might just decline instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friending-twins-or-one-of-the-twins#post-2668806 Wed, 21 Dec 2016 14:58:54 +0000 mediagirl 2668806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe twin parents can chime in here. My daughter really loves playing with a girl at her school who happens to have a twin sister that my daughter doesn't play with that often. She asked to play with her outside of school. As they are just 4 years old, do I request a playdate for the 3 of them or request just the twin my daughter enjoys playing with? </p> <p>To complicate matters - the parent is a single parent with an older child, as well. So, I'm thinking maybe a park play date where they can all come and play?</p> <p>Selfishly, I'd like my daughter to have her friend to herself. She's the type to make one or two good friends and not play with a crowd. But, I feel for the single parent having to juggle everyone. </p> <p>How would you pose having a playdate in this situation? </p>