https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 03:58:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235535 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:04:35 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2235535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might be breezy about it. "Things are so hectic right now!" Leave it at that... With really personal stuff I don't feel like going there with a group I'm only casual with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235521 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 19:29:18 +0000 cat620 2235521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel like they are being nosy - more concerned about you. If it's a couples thing, then it makes sense that they would wonder where you are. If you don't enjoy attending, maybe you need to have your DH have some long-term excuse for your absence, so you don't feel as obligated to go. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235517 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 19:21:28 +0000 wonderstruck 2235517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think they're being nosy - just a normal level of curiosity/checking in. They're friends of his, after all - it's not like random strangers prying. I don't think there's anything really to be done except maybe just say, "She doesn't really get into this game the way we do, so sometimes she ends up doing other stuff instead." It sounds like you feel like it's an interrogation or something, but honestly I can see myself asking this kind of thing if a friend's spouse was missing every other get together. I wouldn't take offense if they just didn't feel like it, but I'd feel like a bad friend if I didn't show any care/concern. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235466 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 18:16:08 +0000 mrbee 2235466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you don't enjoy going, I would take a break! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235455 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 18:00:13 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 2235455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the responses. To clarify: I'm hitting at least every other event, so I haven't missed THAT many. I've probably missed 3 events that DH went to over the past 4 months. It seems early to question that. I've only missed one where IF meds were the reason, and I don't feel comfortable telling them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235453 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:58:13 +0000 Raindrop 2235453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know... I'm kind of nosy! I would totally wonder where a spouse was if I haven't seen them in a while. In a caring way though. My husband would totally not ask because he feels if they wanted to tell us they would without us asking. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235433 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:28:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2235433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1. I don't think they are being too nosy. Your husband is close friends with them so they have built in trust/ intimacy to ask personal questions to make sure he's ok. This is a couples event and he's going solo alot, which raises questions. </p> <p>2. Perhaps you can empower your husband with a line or two to share with them that respects your privacy, but let's them know you two are just fine. Also, a text direct from you to one of the card hosts acknowledging your absence may head off good intention worrying.</p> <p>I definitely would not show up just to save face. There isn't anything wrong with you not attending something you have no interest in unless an effort once in a blue moon will mean alot to your husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235428 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:24:57 +0000 birdofafeather 2235428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>they're probably just wondering where you are, why they haven't seen you and if you're doing okay. if they're asking your DH questions, he might be doing a bad job of relaying (my DH is really bad at this and when i ask more about what someone said, etc, it ends up being no big deal most of the time where as at first, the story seems huge) or they might be prying, but i do think that can be natural and not that weird. i know a few of my BFF's SOs that never make an effort to hang out in group settings and my other friends and i have commented that it's weird since we're a tight knit group. for us, it comes out of a desire to know that big part of our friend's life, but i don't dislike or think poorly of that SO.</p> <p>you might be a bit sensitive about it since you're already not feeling totally into the group! i mean, unless i really disliked everyone or they started asking me personally weird and rude questions, i would keep going and hanging out as i felt like it! but i really like being social, so having a monthly group that i already had an "in" on would be my kind of thing and it's not everyone's, which is totally fine too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235426 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:22:09 +0000 blackbird 2235426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would wonder where a friend's spouse was if he/she suddenly stopped attending. I'd assume something was up or that the rest of us weren't liked </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235422 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 17:19:39 +0000 BSB 2235422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you see them 1-2 times a month, I could see myself telling them about your IF struggle. Maybe not go all into it, but briefly touch it. Though, I'm not sure how you feel about telling people. I'm all about IF awareness (as you might be aware... maybe sometimes too much), so I don't announce it to everyone but if you find some in the group that you feel a tad more closer to, I would let them know. Just something like 'we've been trying for a while and the treatments are kinda rough'. Though, if someone in the group has ever said anything that was anti- IF treatment, I could see myself keeping my mouth shut... but odds are if they offended me, I would stop going to the card game.</p> <p>I know IF is hard (it's definitely a private battle) and everyone is different on how much they want to share and to who, so I can't say what you should do... but for me, I would. Then again you know these people. Sadly, some people will never understand IF and I've come across it a few times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friends-nosy-questions#post-2235396 Mon, 13 Jul 2015 16:50:33 +0000 AmeliaBedilia 2235396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a group of friends that has a monthly card game night (occasionally twice/month). They were DH's friends before we met, and he is much closer to them. They are all nice, we get along, but I don't have much in common (until recently, we have been the youngest by 10-20 years), and I don't enjoy the card game they play very much. I have tried very hard, since DH and I want more mutual friends. A few times I haven't gone because either I had other plans, or tired/wasn't feeling well (we've had a lot going on, most of which they know, and I've been having side effects of meds for IF, which they don't know). I went to the monthly game in early May, immediately after I arrived home from a work trip and left early due to a migraine. I also went to a second card game in May, and attended a Memorial Day party. DH and I both missed the June game due to a conflict. He went to a last minute fourth of July game, and I stayed home since I was tired from nonstop events the two days prior.</p> <p>Last night right before we went to sleep, DH mentioned that there was another game this weekend, and that people are starting to ask where you are, and prying questions. I asked who, and he said several people, and it seemed well beyond the "oh, we missed her, say hi." I'm annoyed. I go most of the time, but it's been getting less fun, and hearing this makes me want to go even less. I'm wondering if DH has been making it sound worse than it is without meaning to. </p> <p>Sorry for the long post, but my questions:<br /> 1. Are they being nosy/expect too much, or am I being oversensitive?<br /> 2. How would you handle this?</p> <p>Thanks! </p>