https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 06:27:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580999 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 19:24:55 +0000 hilsy85 580999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry your friends aren't more understanding! We're the first to have kids, but everyone seems pretty respectful of our schedule with LO and understands that we need to put his needs, esp his sleep, first. I find that I get frustrated sometimes because of the extra thought and care it takes to schedule dinners out now, but we're also lucky because both our parents live very close and are always available to babysit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580893 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 18:19:51 +0000 Smurfette 580893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleveesmommy: It really works out great. We have one tonight. We go at 730 so Dad's have time to get home and everyone can get kids in bed. Last month we did an afternoon with husbands and kids instead, grilled out and watched the Falcons playoff game. Not everyone can make it every month. If you do try it, it seems to work for us by just saying it it the 3rd Wed on every month, so easier for people to keep track of when it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580663 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:41:50 +0000 littleveesmommy 580663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I guess it does get harder as we all get older and responsibilities grow. Lots of conflicting schedules! Thanks for the advice - I like the idea of setting aside a few hours every son often to work on friendships. =)</p> <p>@Adira: OMG that is too cute!!!!!!!!</p> <p>@mrsmenow: We are temporarily living with my parents while we work on closing on our new home, but hosting is a great idea for sticking to kids bedtimes and hanging out! We used to do that before we moved in with my parents and I do miss having people over. Or privacy lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580633 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:33:29 +0000 littleveesmommy 580633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I will definitely try to be supportive of them when they have kids. Having a support system is so crucial to staying sane. And I agree it is totally worth it!!! I wouldn't trade our new norm for anything.</p> <p>@jmarionsmith: Haha I second you on feeling like my friends think I've gone nuts with my obsession on nap and bedtime schedule. It really is important to the child's development and DD is much less interactive and more grouchy the day after a bad nights sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580632 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:33:29 +0000 mrsmenow 580632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are the only ones with kids in our groups of friends our age. We usually get a babysitter to go out with them every few months. But a lot of the time we host at our house so the kids can get to bed and we can still hang out. would this be an option for you?<br /> we our really good friends with our neighbors who also have kids. All of us in our cul de sac get together all the time and kids play while we play cards. understand it a little bit better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580629 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:32:27 +0000 Adira 580629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleveesmommy: Yes! I love that her daughter is just so comfortable sleeping over our house! I just wish our children were going to be closer in age - her daughter is almost 4 years old, and mine is due in March. Oh well! I know her daughter is excited to meet our baby! She'll give my stomach hugs in order to "hug the baby" and asks all the time if he's here yet and if she can hold him! It's so sweet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580611 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:28:13 +0000 Bao 580611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our friends are all over the board as far as having or not having kids. We had a few friends have kids the same time as us, some before us, and some have yet to have kids, or even be married. Between everyone's busy life schedules with kids, work, hobbies, families and other friends, it's almost impossible to get together. I guess more so on our friends' end, I feel like they always make up excuses why they can't hang out. I guess my best advice is to try and make the best effort to make plans, even if it's just a few hours every few weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580607 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:26:47 +0000 littleveesmommy 580607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: The monthly girls night dinners sound nice! We try to do that too but it has been a bit difficult with conflicting work and child care schedules. And I do miss late dinners at nice restaurants. =P Group dinners at home is a good idea too! I should try this. =)</p> <p>@Adira: I love how your best friend and her daughter come sleep over! That is such a sweet relationship to have and your kiddos may grow up close like you two. =) DH and I take turns having our nights out now - he has his basketball and hang out nights, I have my dinner and spa nights. I miss us both going out together with friends though. Maybe once DD gets older it will be easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580601 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:25:39 +0000 jmarionsmith 580601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i have struggled with this so much! i feel like my friends think i'm being crazy when i explain that our bedtime routine is CRUCIAL to a full nights sleep. i just want to scream at them wait until you have kids, you'll see! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580592 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:22:31 +0000 2PeasinaPod 580592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littleveesmommy: I know...I feel the same way with the friends who don't have kids. I'm definitely going to try to be more supportive of them when it's their turn to have kids.</p> <p>While I knew it was life changing, I do miss being able to go out with my DH for a late dinner some nights without having to worry about getting a babysitter or even wondering how he's doing for said babysitter. But, it's all worth it :o) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580582 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:19:57 +0000 littleveesmommy 580582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: You're lucky to have a bunch in the same stage as you! I hate that I get frustrated at my friends for something that is definitely not their fault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580578 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:19:06 +0000 Adira 580578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our LO isn't here yet, but I'm curious how it will change things. Two of my good friends already have kids, so I don't think it will affect our friends too much, but I'm not sure.</p> <p>With my best friend who had her baby first, she still goes out with us and stuff, but we work around her schedule so that she can get grandparents to baby-sit. I also hang out with her every couple weeks now that her child is older - they both just come to my house and we order takeout and then they sleep over! They've been doing this for so long that her daughter is used to sleeping over our house! My only concern is that when our LO is here, having both the baby and her child sleep over - I don't want them to wake each other up! But I guess we'll just see how it goes!</p> <p>Then our other friends, we used to have Game Nights with them and we still do, but not as often. We used to switch up who would host, but now they always host so that they can put their daughter to bed before we come over for an evening. I'm not sure how this will work when we ALSO have an LO - we may not be able to do this anymore or only one of us (Hubs or me) will be able to attend Game Night (and vice-versa) so someone can stay home with the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580567 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:16:01 +0000 Smurfette 580567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One group of friends, we are the last ones to have one. It has changed the dynamics. We don't do stuff with them at night anymore. More day stuff where people can bring the kids. We still do have our monthly dinner for just us girls, where husbands are at home with the kids. </p> <p>The other group of friends, we will be the first ones to have a child. So it will be interesting how we make it work. Half the time, we go out to nice dinners, like at 8. That won't be happening now. I think that we will have more and more group dinners at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580557 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:12:18 +0000 2PeasinaPod 580557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of our friends either already had kids or were having kids the same time we had our LO, so it was easier to go through together. We do have a few friends without kids, and it's tough for them to understand that meltdown occurs when LO doesn't go to bed when he's supposed to. Definitely a bit more frustrating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/friendships-changed-after-los#post-580547 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:09:16 +0000 littleveesmommy 580547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What has been your experience of friendships after LO(s)? Are you the first, last, or somewhere-in-between in your circle to be a parent? Do you think that has an affect on said friendships?</p> <p>Amongst our circle of friends, we were the first to become parents and while I swore before DD came along that having a kid won't change things, it sadly seems like it has. DD's bedtime is 8pm latest and while we break the rules a handful of times a month, we really try to stick by it because it just seems cruel to sacrifice her sleep so we can stay out. Even when we do go out, it's never more than 2 hours past her bedtime and we end up paying for it for a day or two. Granted our friends don't have experience with healthy bedtime habits for toddlers and such, it does get frustrating when I always get "Why can't you just bring her out? She doesn't need to sleep that early!". Well, she does need to sleep that early and I have tried pushing her bedtime later, but sleeping later doesn't mean she gets up later (another one I always hear!). I just feel like they don't really understand and I know I can't expect them to, but it does frustrate me that I can't go out and that it makes me seem like a psycho mom. And the whole not getting out as often makes it seem like I'm sacrificing my friendship. I wish I was super mom AND super friend. =P</p> <p>Any advice on how to keep up friendships while juggling a LO? </p>