https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 05:48:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-971013 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 19:43:36 +0000 artsyfartsy 971013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FarmWifeGina: Lol good point! Thanks for the insight. </p> <p>@evansjamie: Thank you! I appreciate it so much!!</p> <p>We just got through preparing a list of questions for our doctor. My husband decided since we were so frustrated at the moment it would be best to go ahead and organize all our thoughts. It's really made me feel better!</p> <p>I don't feel like anyone in my town feels the same way about childbirth that I do, so I feel like he's going to be so taken aback when we start asking questions he has probably not been asked that often. Hopefully it will go well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970972 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 19:25:18 +0000 avivoca 970972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Small world! My husband is from Inez! A lot of home births happen in your area of the state precisely because of the lack of options when it comes to birthing. I would prefer to home birth, but my husband wasn't keen on it because we live in the city (he's like me and can't believe that it's illegal). My doula friend recently had a home birth in Clark County and she attends a lot of them. Definitely keep me updated, and when I see her in a few weeks I'll ask about doulas in that area. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970963 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 19:19:29 +0000 FarmWifeGina 970963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Ugh, I feel your pain! Home birth itself is not illegal in my state and home birth midwifery isn't technically illegal as there is NO legislation at all on the subject, and therefore no protections for home birth midwives and nothing as far as birth centers go. But I would say don't completely freak out until you've talked to your OB yet. I had a hospital birth with my second baby (after a home birth with my first in a different, more home birth friendly state) and it was pretty much as close to a home birth in a hospital, thanks to my doctor "allowing" (I hate that word when it comes to birthing women) me to break all the rules. This hospital is a tiny, podunk country hospital with 3 beds in the maternity ward that's definitely stuck in the Stone Ages and the website totally bragged about their continuous electronic fetal monitoring (and they didn't have wireless units either- too tiny for that), but heart tones were only ever monitored by Doppler, just like a midwife at a home birth would have done. My doctor was very agreeable to it. Although, I wonder if she wasn't a little scared that I wouldn't be desperate enough to still try for a home birth (I didn't go to her until 28 weeks, after I'd exhausted what I felt we're all of my other options at the time) again, lol. So maybe just throw in that you're thinking about doing an unassisted home birth and see how accommodating they become- make them grateful you're bringing your business to the hospital, haha!</p> <p>ETA: I am currently planning a home birth with a midwife that lives 5 hours away, but is one of the few who will serve women in my state. My wonderful MD moved away or I would probably be going back to her with this pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970961 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 19:17:10 +0000 ZombieBullfrogHoller 970961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Legit, I'm from south east KY and never even knew homebirths were illegal in the state! DH and I have considered moving back down for awhile (my dad and most of my family still live there) and I've vowed with my next baby I will be having either a homebirth or at least finding a friendlier hospital. That's not going to be so easy it seems if we move back. Greeeeat. :| </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970930 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 18:56:43 +0000 artsyfartsy 970930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@redsmarties: Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement so much. It is SO frustrating. I was ignorant at the beginning, I thought "I will have a homebirth!"</p> <p>Oh, that's illegal. Well, I will deliver with a midwife in a hospital!</p> <p>Oh, there's none no where near my area.</p> <p>Well, I'll have a midwife from Tennessee come do a homebirth.</p> <p>Oh, no one will do it.</p> <p>And so on and so forth. Now looking back, I can almost laugh if I wasn't so aggravated! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970926 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 18:54:58 +0000 artsyfartsy 970926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@boiledpnut: I will definitely do it! That hospital is our second choice. If we don't like what our doctor says, we've already decided that is where we are going to try next. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970918 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 18:50:49 +0000 artsyfartsy 970918@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@evansjamie: Thanks! I live in southeast KY. I've found I'm just outside the travel limit for doulas and midwives. After we talk to our doctor and get a better picture of how things will go I may hit you up about the possibility of a doula. I appreciate that!</p> <p>@ZombieBullfrogHoller: I know right?</p> <p>@Mrs. Yoyo: We've decided if we don't like what our doctor says we will be checking out that hospital ASAP. I would have went there first but the chance of it being better is only a little. I wanted to try out a local doctor first. </p> <p>Thank you all for your support. I don't go back to the doctor until August 27th, but I will definitely post an update. It's very frustrating but I'm feeling hopeful about talking to my doctor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970250 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 10:23:41 +0000 runsyellowlites 970250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Ugh! I so feel for you.... It seems our medical communities in this instance are very similar. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970239 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 10:15:25 +0000 boiledpnut 970239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also drove over an hour to have my baby. It's definitely worth it to be where you are most comfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970183 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 09:33:18 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 970183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice/recommendations that others haven't already suggested, I just wanted to say I'm sorry - it has to be so incredibly frustrating to not have many options; and to know that there are options unavailable to you. Keep us posted on how your meeting with the OB goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970171 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 09:24:02 +0000 Espion 970171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Have a quick chat with the nurse manager before or when you get to the hospital. Tell her/him that you are prepared for a medication free birth and although it may not be the norm, you would like to request a nurse who will be supportive. </p> <p>Good nurses can be great advocates for the patient. Perhaps there are a couple who have either attended unmedicated births or believe in your ability to pursue that birth experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970150 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 08:50:07 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 970150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't even done that much research yet. Both my doctors promote vaginal, unmediated birth, if that's what the mother wants. We only have two hospitals in the area and I figure if they are promoting it then the hospitals have to be okay with it? That sucks that you aren't given much options for your birth. Hope that talking with the hospital &amp; your Dr. gives you more incite as to what their procedures are and how flexible they are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970129 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 08:30:18 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 970129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in nowhere Appalachian Virginia for my first pregnancy and drove two hours for a hospital I was comfortable with! One hour isn't that bad if you've got a better feeling about the place, especially for a first labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970047 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 07:18:08 +0000 ZombieBullfrogHoller 970047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I feel you so.hard. right now. I posted a thread the other day about my miserable hospital tour. I live in nowhere Pennsylvania, but I'm from nowhere, Appalachia Kentucky so I completely get where you're coming from. This hospital I'm delivering at is stuck in the stone age. I hate being treated like a disaster waiting to happen instead of just someone having a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970035 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 07:03:25 +0000 avivoca 970035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: hey, I'm in KY too! It is ridiculous how they lobbied to shut down the birth center. Let me know if I can help, I have a friend who is a doula and she might be able to give me some names for doulas in your area. I'm birthing at Clark Memorial in Indiana, but I don't know how far that is from you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-970028 Sun, 28 Jul 2013 06:48:04 +0000 artsyfartsy 970028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's all so unfair and sad.</p> <p>We had a birthing center try to open but a bunch of OB's got together and shut it down. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969866 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:33:43 +0000 runsyellowlites 969866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: EEK! I think things have just become so common they're propagated as "safe" &amp; normal even though we all know that EVER intervention *does* interfere with the natural process &amp; *does* come with risks.</p> <p>It's just not fair to us moms to not have all the evidence &amp; really to not have the right to informed choice bc being pressured isn't being allowed informed choice!</p> <p>You know, if you don't have a local ICAN chapter it might be worth looking into starting one for your area (I'm considering this for mine).</p> <p>ETA: And yes, it is! Our maternal doctors actually went &amp; picketed &amp; protested when a birthing center was going to be built. Needless to say it wasn't. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969864 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:30:45 +0000 artsyfartsy 969864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: That's awful!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969863 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:29:52 +0000 artsyfartsy 969863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: My sister had an intervention filled birth, painful labor despite an epidural (epi wouldn't take), and an emergency c section. She is still in pain just from the failed epidural 3 1/2 months later, and couldn't breastfeed (maybe not necessarily due to the c section but I'm sure it didn't help). </p> <p>But why be in pain if you don't have to be, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969862 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:27:58 +0000 runsyellowlites 969862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: My MW almost didn't go with us to the hospital... We really had ALOT of favor with it all that she was allowed up bc a number of years ago when she transferred another mom one of the nurses who knew who she was &amp; supported hb came &amp; told her she had over heard the doctors talking amongst then selves &amp; one said "any other moms she bring in here aren't leaving without a scar"... To not risk her mommas she stopped going with them! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969856 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:24:34 +0000 artsyfartsy 969856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: I'm sure we could say everything happened too fast and couldn't get to the hospital in time and wouldn't be questioned. I've considered it...but at the same time I don't think I would feel comfortable enough without a trained professional there. </p> <p>I hope we are pleasantly surprised! We go back in a month and plan on interviewing our doc then. I'll definitely post an update on what I find out. </p> <p>We could transfer to a hospital from an illegal homebirth and only receive the stink eye, but the midwife would be in serious trouble. I've heard of some that drop you off and leave you to avoid prosecution. Therefore no one is wiling to risk it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969853 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:23:06 +0000 runsyellowlites 969853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: That's our primary cesarean rates as well &amp; that doesn't include all the "mandatory" ercs we have. :( It's so sad that so many moms accept such horrendous care. (It's makes me really really sad) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969850 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:20:57 +0000 runsyellowlites 969850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: Only a planned homebirth with a MW attending is illegal... And only the MW would get in trouble! </p> <p>I know mw that pretty much would go &amp; just "be there" &amp; if a transfer occurred would not accompany the parents.</p> <p>I do know moms that have gone completely unassisted.... Definitely not for me though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969849 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:19:38 +0000 artsyfartsy 969849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I know. And people think I'm crazy for questioning it, but have never stepped back and looked at how backwards it is themselves and never wonder why we have a c-section rate of 43% (I think. Somewhere around there). Especially in my area. Everyone seems like they hate change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969844 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:17:12 +0000 mrsmate 969844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: of course you would already know about the farm. Duh!</p> <p>I worked in healthcare marketing for most of my career, and I wouldn't give too much thought to what th website says. Pre-child I could very easily have written something like that and thought I was being clever. What matters is what your caregivers think. I hope you end up being pleasantly surprised when you finally meet your ob.</p> <p>Out of curiosity (not that I am advocating this at all) what would happen if you gave birth in your bath tub with only DH present? I know you said lay midwifery is illegal, but would the parents be prosecuted? I know a mom who gave birth in her car before they even pulled out of the driveway, would she be thrown in jail? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969841 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:14:36 +0000 runsyellowlites 969841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: And it should be bc that's how birth should go! The center of the birth should be the laboring mom.... Support from her team should go in to her &amp; requests should come from HER out.... It's gets so backwards in the common medicalized birth. :(</p> <p>AND, nothing is "mandatory". The fact is you can decline anything AND once you're there they can't refuse to treat you.... They have to treat you until "stabilized" &amp; for a laboring mom that means a baby is born OR they would have to transfer you but that's incredible unlikely.</p> <p>It really is just a matter of knowing ALL the interventions &amp; in what cases you're okay with using them... Then YOU &amp; your DH decide what to do. ;)</p> <p>It sucks but when you're in places where the medical community isn't very great (like where I live) you have to be ready to stand your ground. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969840 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:11:40 +0000 artsyfartsy 969840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I'll check into that. Worst comes to worst we will fight our way through the labor and get what we want. My dream of a peaceful birth going my way where everyone listens to me and lets me do what feels most comfortable is hard to let go of though!! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969837 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:09:26 +0000 artsyfartsy 969837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Yeah the website was vague about everything but it was only insinuated that constant fetal monitoring was mandatory. I'll have to talk to my doctor to know for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969830 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:04:50 +0000 deerylou 969830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Check in with your hospital about the constant fetal monitoring. I had semi-consistent monitoring at my birth center, via a wireless, waterproof monitor that tucked right into a spandex belly band. I was able to move around, and even tub with it on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustrated-with-lack-of-options-for-natural-birth-rant#post-969829 Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:04:47 +0000 runsyellowlites 969829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Danizaur: Boo! I would get with the most local ICAN chater on your area or even region stat! They should be able to give you the best chance of resources for providers/doulas/etc.</p> <p>And if worst comes to worst research the heck out of every common medical practice &amp; know what, if, when, &amp; how you'd be willing to do something! It is possible for you to get what you want in the conventional medical community but you have to know your stuff, be in unison with you DH, &amp; stick to your guns.... It makes me think of a hospital vbac story Jen Kamel shared on her "why homebirth" page... Yea thus couple got their vbac but they had a long uphill battle while IN labor with the hospital to get it.... Definitely not the ideal situation BUT they did DH it so that tells you it CAN be done. ;) </p>