https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 18:28:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1392334 Sat, 01 Feb 2014 14:40:42 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1392334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: Sigh.....yeah. I have to figure this out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1392028 Sat, 01 Feb 2014 11:06:17 +0000 mrsjazz 1392028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BKCaribBaby: I know that I would feel a bit guilty if my friend had a crappy shower and helped to plan mine (even one I didn't want!) so I wouldn't bow out. I wouldn't tell my friend. Are you close with her sister. I'd send an SOS and say we need to get our butts in gear. I'd probably also at least send the invitations. After I sent the invitations I'd say, I did this, you guys have got to step up. And honestly, I wouldn't care about being the bad guy because if your friend found out she'd probably be sad about all this--even though she basically told you guys you were throwing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391527 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 21:43:48 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1391527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katsupgirl: Yes! This is exactly how I feel like an awful group project gone awry... :(</p> <p>@mrbee: In my last e-mail, I tried to do that. I put myself in charge of the menu/food and asked the other ladies to do some other things that they have already said they'd wanted to do. Right now I just care that an invitation goes out. </p> <p>I guess my option is to take over, which I can't at the moment (I'm taking a break from doing work right now) or bow out. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391437 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 20:30:23 +0000 MsLipGloss 1391437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like your group needs a leader. Take control and delegate, but keep it simple.</p> <p>ETA: And keep everyone in the loop about who's responsible for doing what . . . that way there is accountability to the group and not just to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391389 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 20:01:33 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1391389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would probably just take it over and do it myself, but keep it simple. I'd feel bad if I bowed out and nothing happened for my friend. Maybe assign specific facts to each person, eg Kelly orders and picks up the cake, Carly does drinks, etc. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391383 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 19:51:13 +0000 mrbee 1391383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that sounds super frustrating!!</p> <p>Is it possible to divide the shower into four separate pieces, and then put each person 100% in charge of one piece? Then each person could plan and execute on their own, without having to deal with coordinating schedules and logistics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391369 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 19:39:39 +0000 katsupgirl 1391369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such a frustrating situation. It's the social equivalent of having to do a group project in school with a bunch of slackers.</p> <p>I'd say to bow out and get her an awesome gift. This only works if you were sure the other girls could actually get the party together. It would suck if the whole thing turned into a disaster or didn't happen.</p> <p>How much control can you exert? My other thought would be to just take over and get it done with them chipping in money.</p> <p>If you do bow out you should do it sooner rather than later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391336 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 19:11:09 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1391336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Yes. I know. Usually that's the case that others decide to plan this kind of event. With her, I often stand back as she has a sister, so I usually defer to her on these things. I think she felt that we, the planners, would be honored. She helped to plan mine (the one I didn't really want), and I guess she felt that I would feel snubbed if I didn't plan hers? </p> <p>@JerricaBenton: We're all putting in a little bit here and there. The budget isn't really an issue. It's more just getting everyone to actually do things. I think maybe she felt that I (or others in the group) would feel snubbed if others planned the shower, and we weren't involved? She helped to plan mine, so I guess maybe she thought that I would feel left out if I didn't help plan hers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391280 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 18:33:58 +0000 JerricaBenton 1391280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds intense! Save the Dates for a baby shower? ? If it were me, I'd probably send an e-mail to everyone or see if you can set up a Skype and just say it seems like everyone is busy but you need to get this stuff figured out so if no one objects you'll take the reins and go from there. Is the point of four hostesses that you all split the bill? I agree that it's odd to ask four people to host a shower for you but maybe her intention is for no one to have to spend a ton? Maybe you can start by presenting a budget for each thing for the others to ok, then give them the opportunity to choose tasks, otherwise divvy everything up yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391252 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 18:14:05 +0000 deerylou 1391252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I apologize, but I'm a little confused. Your friend specifically asked the four of you to throw her a baby shower? I've never experienced this, personally. Usually one person (or a few people, collectively) offer to arrange something for the expectant mom, on their own accord.</p> <p>I know that I wouldn't be able to plan something complicated and extravagant at this time, myself. So, I would either offer to completely take the reigns and plan something much smaller and low key, or gracefully opt out of the execution side of things. Perhaps you sign up to bring the cake, to help out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/frustration-with-bffs-baby-shower-planning#post-1391224 Fri, 31 Jan 2014 17:55:25 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1391224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>(sorry this is so long!)</p> <p>I am a part of a group (yes, a group) of people that a close friend has picked to plan her baby shower. The planning process has been really frustrating for me. While I am not a huge fan of baby showers in general (I was essentially forced to have one), I don't like things that are disorganized or not done well. She is one of my closest friends, and I think she deserves a great shower. </p> <p>While I get why she did it, I don't understand why four people were picked. One of the people does not even live locally. The other three of us are her sister (busy job, single with no kids), another friend of hers (married with a very, very busy job and a toddler), and me (busy job, married with an older infant). </p> <p>We knew about the planning since the holidays, and I sent everyone an e-mail to try to get the ball rolling. What happens? Dead silence from everyone. I know it was the holidays, and everyone is busy, including me, but it really doesn't take long to reply to an e-mail. </p> <p>Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I sent out another e-mail. My BFF starts to get worried because we haven't sent out a Save The Date. After some more wrangling, her sister gets one out electronically. We finally start exchanging planning e-mails. After awhile more silence. </p> <p>I'm frustrated because I've offered to do things, but I can't do this alone. I'm going to up all night each night of this weekend doing work, chores, and other things. The invite has not gone out yet, and this is supposed to be in three weeks. My life cannot handle doing things last minute. My DH works long hours so my weekdays are spent rushing to work and then rushing straight home to tend to LO by myself before her bedtime and usually doing more work at night. I don't have time to do things last minute. </p> <p>At this point, I just don't know what to do. I don't think I should tell the BFF what's going on. I didn't volunteer to do this. I was asked, and since this is a close friend, I felt like I should accept. Should I bow out now and just say that the next month will be crazy for me? </p> <p>What would you do in this situation? </p>