https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 02:32:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-355226 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:37:59 +0000 lemondrop 355226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband probably has a million more, but my best ones that I remember: </p> <p>My water broke, the doc wanted me to come in soon after to get checked, I asked him if I could come in once the Ohio State basketball game finished. No contractions yet, so I also was able to finish working and my husband could take down the Christmas tree. </p> <p>The anesthesiologist was MIA for about an hour when I requested the epidural, I made it about 45 minutes and started begging for IV pain drugs- something I swore I would never take. They worked so good though that I did fine for the epidural, so I'm happy with it. </p> <p>The last two pushes my doctor was trying to distract me while waiting for the next contraction- he started asking about my "fake" wedding ring (swollen fingers, substitute ring), and I would have none of it. He got the death glare and I told my husband to deal with the question. About 10 minutes later once the baby arrived I was laughing and joking with the doc and nurses again. My husband was all wrapped up with the baby, he said it sounded like we were having a party on the other end of the room.</p> <p>The baby was born at almost 10pm, we of course missed most of lunch and dinner, so it was midnight by the time we got to eat. My husband brought me In N Out Burger, but they forgot the fork for my animal fries- so I just dug in with my hands I was so hungry. Second best meal I have ever had! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-355218 Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:14:53 +0000 sandy 355218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am late to this thread but here are my embarrassing moments during labor:</p> <p>Before being admitted/hanging out in triage - I am screaming at the top of my lungs "MY BUTT, MY BUTT...HELP ME, HELP ME...WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME?!?!" I was soooo embarrassed after I got the epidural that I was being so crazy...but LO was a big baby and to this day my tailbone feels broken. </p> <p>Also before the epidural I screamed at my husband "we are only having 1 kid and I mean it!!!" After I got the epidural I told him I didn't mean it. </p> <p>I felt like I turned into the crazy pregnant lady that they depict on tv shows...fortunately I had the nicest L&amp;D nurse :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-354524 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 16:22:15 +0000 tlcbaby 354524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These are hilarious - makes me wonder what kind of crazy things are going to come out of my mouth during labor and delivery :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-354462 Mon, 22 Oct 2012 15:50:22 +0000 hilsy85 354462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These are hysterical. I was reading this thread while in the hospital after delivering LO, lol (during a 4am feeding!). I can add that mid push. I turned to DH and said, "I'm really hungry! When can I eat?". My OB laughed and said it was good motivation to get the baby out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-352841 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 16:52:31 +0000 photojane 352841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i love this thread. y'all are amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-352823 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 16:27:39 +0000 Kemma 352823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine isn't a what I said, it's a what I did.</p> <p>Turns out that you can support yourself on hands and knees with an epidural... My labour and dilation had stalled at around 7cm, so my backup midwife (an old school midwife) suggested that I get on my hands and knees - worked a treat and I dilated to ten in about 30 minutes. The whole thing was kinda ironic considering that I couldn't control my legs at all when I was lying on my back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-352553 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 11:05:04 +0000 rachiecakes 352553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They kept telling us how much hair DS had. DH was on orders to stay by my face. He saw the doctor get out the scissors and asked, "are you going to give him a haircut?" haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-351688 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 13:11:20 +0000 ChelseaRose 351688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love this thread! Thanks for all the laughs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth/page/2#post-351530 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 09:56:11 +0000 CATWOMAN 351530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Y'all. This thread made my morning. LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351400 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 06:19:42 +0000 GrapeCrush 351400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I got my epidural they asked how I was feeling. I said 'fine, but I have this weird pressure in my vagina' the nurse told me that was a contraction and I replied 'this is amazing!'</p> <p>During my c-section I was shaking pretty bad and my arms were up in the air over my head, I was trying to convince my doc and the anesthesiologist I was having a seizure and couldn't breathe! My doc was like 'if you were having a seizure we wouldn't be talking about 80's rock music right now'</p> <p>After we got back to the labor room after the c-section I told the nurse I couldnt breathe(again with the breathing!) and was going to throw up...she didn't move fast enough and I puked all over myself, when she turned around from getting the bucket, I just looked at her and said 'sorry. but I can breathe now!' </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351343 Sat, 20 Oct 2012 00:02:39 +0000 Laneybugsmommy 351343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I checked into the hospital the nurses told me not to expect a baby that night and I argued with them that they were wrong. That was about 1030pm. At 430AM I was at a 8 and I said "Can we finally agree that there's a baby coming now or am I still wrong?" My husband wins the funniest comment though... While they were suctioning the fluid out of my daughter's nose and cleaning her up (they did this before I held her because of some problems) he looked at me and said "she has your finger toes". I pick things up with my feet all the time and she was curling her toes so I guess that sounded logical to him lol... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351196 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:47:24 +0000 sorrycharlie 351196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hah just remembered another! I had just "ow ow ow"d through another contraction (at 10 cm!) and when it ended, I mumbled "geeze, I really need an Altoid."</p> <p>The l&amp;d nurse burst out laughing, and I was like, "I'm serious!"</p> <p>As soon as the OB came in to start pushing I made my husband get me one from our bag! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351191 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:46:17 +0000 cvbee 351191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: I wanted pushing to rock. People had lead me to believe it would rock. I found it incredibly frustrating. But I am glad it rocked for you. And I am not at all surprised that you said something funny like that. Bet you'd be a funny labourer for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351190 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:44:33 +0000 cvbee 351190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>funny thought: well, as I was pushing I was imagining the baby as being only the size of a tiny baby doll, as even though I was in the middle of it, I still couldn't wrap my head around how a real baby was about to fit through my va-jay-jay.</p> <p>funny coincidence: Glee was on tv and the song Disco Inferno was on at crowning time (burn baby burn). That was really funny to me, although I was not really in the mood for jokes, I remember thinking that it was funny and that I'll think it's funny when it's over. I was a grumpy pusher. </p> <p>first words words after birth "Wow, that's a relief!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351188 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:43:50 +0000 skibobrown 351188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My nurses thought I was funny. In between contractions I was trying to convince my husband and sister that they *must* find me a real italian sub for after my delivery (not Subway). I knew I would be hungry afterwards and the sub was my main request. Also, I refused to tell the doctor what the name for the baby was, even as she was crowning. The doctor asked "Do we have a name", as I was pushing the baby out, and I yelled back. "Yes, and we're not telling until she comes out!" I was stubborn even while the baby was being born.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351084 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:42:32 +0000 pastemoo 351084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-in the beginning many times<br /> docs and nurses: "what is your pain from 0-10?"<br /> me "my burning hands or the contractions?"</p> <p>-when I was pushing "so.... can you tell yet, does he have hair?"<br /> (they could tell and he did!)</p> <p>-when I woke up from the c-section<br /> me"so, when are they starting?"<br /> my husband "they're done. have you heard a word i've been saying?"<br /> me "no."<br /> him "huh. you've been nodding at me for a little while now"<br /> me "oh. so is he alive? are you sure he was born already?"<br /> him "yes I saw it. and your uterus is orange"<br /> me "so how big was he"<br /> him "8lbs 2oz"<br /> me "no way!"</p> <p>-in the post surgery room<br /> "are you sure I had a baby? when do I get to see him? it was a he right? when can i eat?"</p> <p>@Honeybee: @mewtill: Ugh, me too! If I knew how long it would be I would have dealt with it much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-351072 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 19:24:28 +0000 mango.sprays 351072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i love this thread. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350961 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:57:59 +0000 Lindsay05 350961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>- in between pushing i commented how hungry i was... Ahh good ol epidurals :)</p> <p>- Im pretty sure i yelled out "how do people have more than one of these!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350939 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:37:04 +0000 HabesBabe 350939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sunny: This is EXACTLY what happened to me! It was caught on video and you can hear the nurses laughing... lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350913 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:12:36 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 350913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I started pushing I shouted out "oh my god, pushing ROCKS!!!"</p> <p>Oh, and while I was pushing and my baby's head was peeking out of my vagina the doctor kept twirling her hair with her fingers saying "wow, you should see how much hair this kid has!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350905 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:58:09 +0000 SusieQ 350905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I yelled at my husband to "Stop breathing on me!" when he was telling me sweet things like how good of a job I was doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350782 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:37:45 +0000 Honeybee 350782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mewtill: Lol, I felt the same way about "If I just knew how much longer I needed to do this, I could probably power through." Luckily I didn't have 4 hours of pushing. You're a rockstar! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350781 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:37:33 +0000 BananaPancakes 350781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a c-section. Immediately after pulling him out I asked how he was (normal) then asked if my placenta looked good (not normal). I then kept insisting they do a good job sewing me up. My husband said I was trying to run the place. </p> <p>Also, I was expecting an 8+ lb baby, but he was only 6lbs 9oz. When they said it out loud, I kept asking them if they were right and that they should weigh him again. I couldn't believe he was so small. </p> <p>In retrospect, I think I felt very much out of control at that moment and bossing everyone around was my way of handling it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350715 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:52:54 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 350715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: I also kept asking "so we're almost done? If we're almost done, I can do it"</p> <p>I was very, lets say "vocal" during labor &amp; delivery (I didn't end up getting an epidural, but I did end up pushing for 4 hours). I remember using words I NEVER use, like I said "Oh, goody." after my midwife said we could start pushing. </p> <p>I thanked my midwife &amp; nurse for spending hours "hanging out with my vagina" while I pushed. </p> <p>I apologized to the OB who did the vacuum extraction for not having anymore lemon bars for him (I had given them all to the nurses)</p> <p>DS had a cone head b/c of the vacuum extraction &amp; my husband said "he looks like a pharaoh". The OB said to the midwife "that's the difference between your patients &amp; mine. Mine have never said 'pharaoh'."</p> <p>My midwife also said I was the most polite laboring women she's met. I remember saying "please" and "thank you" a lot. Like, every time someone said something encouraging, I was all "oh, thank you!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350664 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:35:11 +0000 sunny 350664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is biracial and when I first saw her, I said "She looks so Asian!" and I heard a nurse say "That's ok!". </p> <p>I thought (but didn't say out loud), "I wasn't complaining!". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350489 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:05:11 +0000 lovehoneybee 350489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was pretty much silent through most of L&amp;D (even when I had the epidural and was super relaxed I was mostly just quietly laying listening to everyone talking around me), but DH still mentions that about half an hour after the epidural was placed the nurse asked me what my pain was on a scale of 1-10. I asked her if the blood pressure cuff counted....she said sure, I thought about it a second and said very seriously "a 7 then". </p> <p>The other one was when the male OB was doing a cervical check I quipped that usually a guy had to buy me dinner before I let him get that far... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350482 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:01:51 +0000 Alivoo01 350482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@luckypenny: @yellowbird: LMFAO!!! You ladies are too funny! "...do you like her?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350478 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:59:02 +0000 yellowbird 350478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These are great!</p> <p>As soon as they put her on my chest I looked at my husband and said "Do you like her?????" The nurses thought it was the funniest thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350472 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:55:57 +0000 luckypenny 350472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before epi I started groaning " RELAX THE LEGS" - I had read you could talk yourself into dilating or relaxing and with every contraction my legs were tensing up and it hurt so bad so I figured I'd give it a try lol DH had no clue what I was doing </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/funny-things-you-didsaidthought-during-childbirth#post-350447 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:42:56 +0000 Meridian 350447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Omg, these are all so funny!! </p>