https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 10:51:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071791 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 15:14:43 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1071791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: Yes, totally inappropriate IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071784 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 15:09:39 +0000 yoursilverlining 1071784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Yes, yes, yes to everything you said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071777 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 15:04:59 +0000 MrsSCB 1071777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaJ: @Mrs. Pen: especially because they're looking at these pictures as a family and determining whether the teen girls are wearing bras or not. Seriously, this grown woman, not to mention her HUSBAND, are perusing high school girls' photos searching for "scantily clad" young women, and that's a totally appropriate family activity? Um, no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071754 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 14:44:24 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1071754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaJ: ha! my reaction as well... "as we often do..." as they look through facebook friends pictures and critique them. THIS to me sounds like the high school boys version of "lets rate our female classmates 1-10"...</p> <p>I have mixed feelings about this article for several reasons. I have heard over and over and over again growing up that girls need to dress modestly because guys are visual and will see girls differently if they show skin... that teaching always made me uncomfortable and I didn't exactly know why until I became an adult. I don't want the pressure of a guys thoughts/feelings being put on how *I* dress. Frankly, it is NOT my responsibility where their mind goes when they look at me. </p> <p>As a parent of a boy I do sympathize to an extent just because I realize that a whole lot of girls do purposefully dress provocatively - BUT in the same way - so do guys! I don't like this double standard that a girl cannot dress a certain way or else she'll be the sexual desire of every man who sees her - but it's perfectly acceptable for boys to go shirtless at any given time, strut around in their boxers, etc... Modesty is a two way street. </p> <p>Also as a parent of a boy I plan to guide my son into developing a respect for women no matter who they are or how they dress. He will be taught that he IS responsible for all of his thoughts and actions. </p> <p>I also absolutely detest the sexist notion that all men are animals waiting to attack and sexualize every living thing. That somehow they cannot control their sexual impulses and that's why women need to be covered head to toe - or else!</p> <p>Why don't we raise our sons to focus more on the inner beauty of a women rather than spending our time criticizing every girl for how "wrong" she is for our son? Instead, let's attempt to mold our sons into someone WORTHY of a lady.</p> <p>So yes - I do plan to hold my sons to high standards... but I will hold him to high standards for HIMSELF. I think the worst thing a young person can do while waiting to find a life partner is focus on all the qualities they want in a mate - rather than focusing on making themselves worthy of marriage. </p> <p>In closing, I think this article plays into sexist notions and gender stereotyping. I think it shifts blame and doesn't focus on what our real parenting goals ought to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071737 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 14:38:34 +0000 MamaMoose 1071737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: um.... So addressing a letter to teenage boys and using all sorts of inappropriate language is any better? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/3#post-1071718 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 14:26:09 +0000 MamaJ 1071718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: agree 100% </p> <p>I think I'm in the minority here, but I find it really weird that they discuss social media pictures at dinner. I really don't see myself saying at dinner " ok C whip out your phone so we can see who you are friends with on Facebook and what pictures they put up!" Maybe I'll be singing a different tune when my son is a teenager though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071658 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 13:19:13 +0000 rsp213 1071658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: So well said! Thank you!!! I've been avoiding responding to this post but you've stated my feelings exactly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071593 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 12:11:52 +0000 OldEnglandMama 1071593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Yes! This. Thank you. </p> <p>@Silva: That indeed sums it up nicely. I read the original after she changed the pictures and it really made my blood boil. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071583 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 12:00:56 +0000 FarmWifeGina 1071583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think this was written in response to the blog post we're discussing, but it's started popping up in my newsfeed and I think it is just excellent, particularly since this man seems to be coming from the same evangelical background that Mrs. Hall is. <a href="http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/" rel="nofollow">http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071582 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 12:00:35 +0000 BlueWolverine 1071582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Amen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071577 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 11:58:51 +0000 meredithNYC 1071577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: you = my hero! Awesome response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071575 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 11:56:50 +0000 erinpye 1071575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: haha I love you back :)<br /> @MrsSCB: exactly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071570 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 11:54:28 +0000 HLK208 1071570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: have I mentioned I love you? Haha. Seriously, this is exactly what I thought of the article. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071562 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 11:43:38 +0000 MrsSCB 1071562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: preach it! I don't see how this woman doesn't realize her post is pretty offensive to her sons as well. Plenty of men function just fine and are respectful of women regardless of what they wear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071552 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 11:20:03 +0000 Silva 1071552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/09/05/fyi-if-youre-a-hall-boy/" rel="nofollow">http://www.renegademothering.com/2013/09/05/fyi-if-youre-a-hall-boy/</a></p> <p>This sums it up well for me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1071545 Sat, 07 Sep 2013 10:58:02 +0000 erinpye 1071545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It IS slut-shaming. Look it up. The post makes me so angry I almost can't even talk about it. It also makes me sad that women who read it don't notice how disrespectful it is. The issue isn't modesty- modesty is great. The issue is that she places the responsibility of modesty on women, to control men's desires. Modesty is a two-way street, and no woman is responsible for the actions of a man, no matter how she chooses to dress. She needs to teach her sons to look past outward appearances and have respect for ALL women, not protect their little eyes lest they lust after women. And NEWS FLASH, women are visual, sexual creatures, too, but we are expected to act like "good girls." That's completely unrealistic and only perpetuates rape culture in the idea that women have control over how men treat them based on their outward appearance. It's not right, and not ok to keep teaching our boys and men. Boys are also capable of not imagining every situation as sexual- they deserve much more credit than she's giving them. Let's focus on respect instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070349 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:30:39 +0000 meredithNYC 1070349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: Oh, but see, there's NO WAY one of her sons would look at porn. It would obviously be a set-up. Probably something to do with some tempting she-devil who got the best of him.</p> <p>Hahahaha - this woman. I hate this article for reasons that others have put so much more eloquently than I could have. Good luck to this lady as her sons grow older. She obviously has some serious blinders on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070348 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:30:28 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1070348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think she had a good intention, but man she was preachy and judgy about it!</p> <p>Edited to add that the rebuttal was written by a liberal Mormon in my town. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070326 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:24:04 +0000 plantains 1070326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSCB: exactly! Selfies are the least of her problems. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070318 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:21:37 +0000 MrsBrewer 1070318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Truthfully I don't see anything wrong with this blog post at all! I actually really like her approach! More power to her for staying active in her children's lives, and not being ignorant to social media. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070296 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:11:54 +0000 MrsSCB 1070296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: "Poor previous Hall boys with their minds that are purer than the driven snow" --- wait till she catches them looking at online porn, then she'll really go nuts! These are teenagers, their minds will be in the gutter, towel selfies or not ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070289 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:07:47 +0000 plantains 1070289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think going through the social media feed of teenagers is fine, I would do the same. I hate her message though, it really pisses me off. Those saying that a shirtless man doesn't have the same effect as a girl in a bikini or towel, go watch Ryan Gosling in Crazy Stupid Love in any of his shirtless scenes and then we can discuss it again.</p> <p>It is one thing to say that teenagers need to think much more carefully about what they post online, it is quite another to write this, "Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?”</p> <p>That statement sent me over the edge. Poor precious Hall boys with their minds that are purer than the driven snow being tempted by these selfies. It really is the beginning of a very slippery slope. Had she not included that, I almost would have believed her intentions were good but she betrayed her way of thinking with that line. It is depressing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070276 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:00:52 +0000 MsLipGloss 1070276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mamimami: Ah, I don't think it's a character issue . . . it's more of a lack of perspective/ lack of judgment issue. These are teenage girls, (presumably, as most girls really are naïve to the true brutality of the world as we know it) making decisions that only a teenage girl equipped with limited teenage girl knowledge and (limited) experience can make. While we can try to protect them from a lack of knowledge or understanding, it seems unfair to (1) hold them to standards of judgment to which we would hold an adult, and along that line, (2) to assess their character based on same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070254 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:47:04 +0000 mamimami 1070254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In general I agree with her... although I thought the beach pic sort of undermined it all. I don't think it was slut-shaming at all. (Although, if teenage girls are acting slutty, I think a bit of a personal sense of shame is probably not unhealthy.) </p> <p>Having been a teenage girl, I know what it's like to NOT UNDERSTAND the difference between healthy and unhealthy attention. And I hope to help my daughter and my son to understand that. (I also remember a thing or two about horndog high school boys.)</p> <p>After the whole Miley Cyrus incident my husband and I had a great talk. He is not a Christian, not religious and not at all conservative, and we both agreed that the Bible's advice on this is correct -- Son, do you see someone whose behavior shows she is about one thing? AVOID HER. (Or daughter, avoid him.) It's just not worth it. It doesn't mean these girls and guys are bad people or whatever, but you don't need to get caught up in their issues.</p> <p>In short -- I think that's what this mom is trying to do -- help her sons avoid young women whose behavior indicates they don't have the kind of character her sons should be seeking. I think that's a parent's job! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070223 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:37:52 +0000 pui 1070223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dookie32: I agree. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070192 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:24:02 +0000 Running Elley 1070192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: I completely get that. I was raised the same way ("are you suuuure you don't want to wear a sweater with that??") and its definitely not the approach that ill take when raising my daughter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070187 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:23:29 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1070187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dookie32: agree.</p> <p>Wether or not the mom or her sons judge the girls as immoral or respect them less due to their photos the mom deems the photos inappropriate for her sons' viewing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070184 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:22:12 +0000 Freckles 1070184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Running Elley: You're right, i know that she was directing her comments at a certain type of girl but i guess her "scantily dressed high school girls" comment got to me. As if wearing revealing clothes is indicative of one's moral compass. I was raised in a very conservative family, and i got in so much crap from my dad when i wore...a tank top. I think it's a bit extreme to call it slut shaming, but i do feel as if she is teaching her sons to judge girls who dress a certain way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070163 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:15:28 +0000 Running Elley 1070163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Exactly. It's not the same at all and that doesn't "bring women down." It's just the way that it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl-discussion/page/2#post-1070159 Fri, 06 Sep 2013 11:14:37 +0000 Running Elley 1070159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Thats not what she's talking about though. She's talking about the pictures taken specifically taken to be viewed as sexy. I'd guess that she probably isn't a big bikini advocate but that's not what she was talking about in the blog post in question.</p> <p>I do think that she's coming from a very specific viewpoint- Christian, conservative, etc. But I also think that's her normal audience. Which means that she's just posting from her worldview on her own blog just like every other blogger out there. </p>