https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 04:29:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609859 Wed, 24 Aug 2016 11:47:24 +0000 hellobeeboston 2609859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: Girls can be a lot of work too - maybe even more so!</p> <p>I just wanted to chime in that I have two boys and I LOVE IT so far.... they are 3 years apart, and they are so different but even with the age difference (the baby is only 10 months) they already love each other and play and it's so great for each of them to have a brother. we're not having any more either... but how fun that all of the boys/cousins will have each other in your extended family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609798 Wed, 24 Aug 2016 10:33:39 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2609798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With the twins (our first pregnancy), I was terrified of having two rambunctious, crazy boys, so I really wanted girls. I had always wanted at least one of each gender, but mostly I was just really not wanting twin boys because I was scaaaaaaared. :silly: Well, of course, they were boys. I honestly kind of struggled all the way through my pregnancy with just feeling a little unattached (partly because it was high risk and stressful and partly because I just didn't know how I was going to relate to these two crazy boys). When they were born, that all disappeared. I wouldn't have traded them for a million girls and now it seems crazy in my mind that I ever stressed out about it. My point is, I really think when this little dude arrives, you're going to be so in love with him that you won't care one bit that he's not a girl. And as for big shoes to fill, the same applies. With all three of our kids (all boys, for the record!), I've been surprised that your love just keeps multiplying and you really will love and be as obsessed with the next one as you are with this one. </p> <p>I still would love to have a daughter and I was talking about that with a friend with two boys who is very much done having kids. She said she still wants that relationship with a girl like she has with her mom, but she trusts that someday in some way, whether it's a daughter in law or another younger girl that she develops a relationship with, that she'll have a chance to have some degree of that mom-daughter relationship. I kind of liked the idea that just because I don't have a daughter, doesn't mean I can't look for girls along the way that need someone to be a mama-like figure to them and I definitely want to love on my daughters-in-law like their my own someday! </p> <p>Good luck with your pregancy and try not to focus on the gender too much. I promise this guy is going to rock your world! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609523 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 21:50:34 +0000 catomd00 2609523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: Haha yep, my 2 year old is already doing this!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609522 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 21:49:53 +0000 catomd00 2609522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry you're disappointed. If it makes you feel any better, my 2.5 year old daughter is a handful, too. Toddlers are toddlers. I really don't buy into the gendered stereotypes. I know lots of crazy girls and lots of low key boy toddlers. There's no personality guarantee no matter what the sex of the baby! Having two boys will be great! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609474 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 20:19:45 +0000 californiadreams 2609474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i went through the same thing (my first was a boy too and we were planning on two kids only). However, i am now hopelessly in love with my second little boy. He is 6 months old. He is own person with his own personality to love and cherish. The only thing i compare are their looks, sleep patterns, and milestones because it is fun, lol. </p> <p> Although, on another note, i now want a third kid now and am working on convincing DH. But having 2 boys already has made me imagine life with 3 boys and see how wonderful that can be too, because even though i would hope and wish for a girl all over again, my second son is living proof that ALL my boys are amazing and my first was not the "exception" to that rule. In fact, it was when my second little boy turned 3 months that i decided i wanted another baby - boy or girl - (though fingers crossed for a girl) because he is so amazing, i don't want to be done just yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609330 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 15:40:26 +0000 Mrsbells 2609330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with previous posters that a girl at 2.5 years would be equally a handful! I personally havent dealt with gender disappointment have two friends who have both just had their 3rd child and it still wasnt the gender they wanted. Usually by the time the baby arrives they are ok with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609262 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 14:03:40 +0000 Ajsmommy 2609262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear ya sista! I was the opposite though and can't say that it lasted long. But when we found out we are having a boy (we have a girl now) I was totally happy and really excited but after about an hour or two as it sunk in I started to have second thoughts and I got sad that DD won't have a sister and I got worried about having a boy when I'm used to a girl and lots of other random things that ram around in a pregnant persons head. All that is to say that I think it's completely normal and that once your 2nd little man is here you will be over the moon happy. Oh and little girls can be terrors as well!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609232 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:29:29 +0000 hummusgirl 2609232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnleaves: I've started playing showtunes for my son and he's into it. My husband's down with musicals too, even if it's not his first choice :-) </p> <p>To answer the question, I can't really relate because I didn't have a strong preference either way, but I have an 8 month old boy and an almost 4-year-old boy and seeing them together is amazing and melts my heart. I also feel some relief at things I didn't/don't really enjoy and won't be as likely to go through with sons (periods, leg shaving, face waxing, makeup, being judged for your looks). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609214 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:16:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 2609214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two girls (including a 3 year old handful for sure!) and I was worried about constantly comparing the baby to the older one, since I already know and love her and know how awesome she is. And I admit I do compare them but the it goes back and forth who compares more favorably. They are just so different but my worries about the baby always falling short to the toddler were unfounded. If that helps at all. </p> <p>I think whatever your last baby is you have a twinge of sadness, especially if you only have two. For me, I really wanted a sister for my older daughter, but I also wanted a son for DH. So I was a little sad for him probably never having a son, but I would have been even sadder if we had a boy and my older daughter never had a sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609197 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:10:20 +0000 runnerd 2609197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be upset, let yourself feel it now and process, and know it will all be ok. I wanted a girl both times, and have 2 boys now. We don't plan to have more kids, so after a little bit of mourning, I started finding all the great things about being a boy mom. And now that #2 is here, I couldn't imagine it any other way!! Seeing the way little brother smiles at big is amazing (they are 2 years and 8 weeks, so we are just getting started.) I've decided to embrace boy mama status full-on! </p> <p>also worried about comparing 2 boys, but little brother is his own little sweet person and I love them in different ways. It'll be ok, mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609186 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:03:40 +0000 josina 2609186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm worried I may end up feeling this way. DS is 21 months and we find out Oct. 5 what we're having. Everyone is thinking girl or maybe wants girl for me, but I'm really trying not to let myself think one way or the other because I don't want the disappointment that may be inevitable. We may try for a 3rd yet, but DH would be happy to be done at 2.</p> <p>You're absolutely allowed to be upset at not having a girl. Let yourself feel it now. And then think about how awesome it will be for your DS to have a little brother, to not have to buy new clothes, to already have the boy thing down.<br /> Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609157 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 12:37:03 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2609157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chillybear: yes! I agree girls can big a big handful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609155 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 12:34:28 +0000 skipra 2609155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having 2 boys is so much fun! Once your LO arrives I'm sure you won't even be able to imagine a sweeter baby than the one in your arms. And watching the relationship between brothers develop is just amazing. You'll see your son become an awesome big brother and your younger one will just idolize him from the moment they meet. I am totally biased but think having two boys is just like winning the lottery..you will see!<br /> And I 100% understand the feeling of disappointing family with another boy. We have no girls on either side of our family and are 99% sure we're having yet another boy. Aside from the initial reaction of wishing we get a girl this time, everyone has been very excited for another boy. Things like now we can have a family hockey team and how many kids can wear the same outfit. Little things like that still make it exciting. Take some time to get used to the idea but I promise having boys is the most wonderful thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609100 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:43:41 +0000 autumnleaves 2609100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always thought I'd have a girl and ended up with 2 boys - they are 4 months and almost 2 years old now. It's too early to know if they are going to have similar personalities and every day is an adventure as I get to see them grow. Your boys may be similar or they may be very different and it will be exciting to find out!<br /> I love musicals and I don't expect my boys will be into going to see them but I don't know - it will be awesome if 1 or both of them like musicals but if not I will just drag my husband to one or have a girls night out with my friends. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609098 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:42:13 +0000 Shantuck 2609098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a son for #1 and found out that I am pregnant with a girl this time around. My worry is that my son and daughter won't be as close as they would be had there been two boys. I guess I shouldn't generalize what interests my future daughter will have based on gender but I can't help but think they'd be closer if they were two little boys playing cars together (my son's current obsession), etc. I will admit that I was a little disappointed as well that I wasn't going to get to reuse any of the adorable clothes of my son's... The point of all that is there are different ways to look at the situation. Try to be happy that there is a good chance the siblings will be super close and that you can reuse lots of clothing that you wouldn't otherwise be able to.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609093 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:37:26 +0000 Chillybear 2609093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I promise you little girls can be just an much of a handful. I'm pretty sure i have a 3 year old teenager - slamming doors and saying "get out of my room!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609088 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:34:00 +0000 leelee 2609088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I went through the same thing with all 3 of my babies but with wanting a boy. I've always wanted a little boy and when I found out my first was a girl I was sad but I always had hope my next would be boy. Then #2 was a girl and I went through it again but once again had hope that our third would be a boy. Well we found out early on that #3 was a girl and I completely broke down crying. Not because she wasn't a boy but because there was a good chance that I would never have my little boy since DH said he was done at 3 and I've always wanted to have the mother-son relationship and that there wouldn't be a mini-DH. What i've learned is that it's absolutely ok to feel sad, I guarantee you that when your little guy is here it will feel like it was meant to be. Seeing them play together will be the best thing ever and they will be best buddies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-disappointment-1#post-2609063 Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:09:17 +0000 oskarsmommy 2609063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we found out yesterday that we are having another boy, and I am definitely struggling with this. My whole life I pictured having a girl, I have had dreams about her. Both my husband and I really wanted a girl, and waking up today just felt kind of stale. We both have lots of boy grandsons in our families, so we are both not excited to announce to our families, because we know everyone wanted a girl. </p> <p>I am 39, so this will likely be our last. And my son as a baby and toddler was EXCEPTIONAL, always smiling, happy, and just larger than life with personality. I fear that I will always compare the second boy to him, since he left some big shoes to fill. </p> <p>And lastly, along with that larger than life personality has now come a HANDFUL of a 2.5 year old. I am scared! I don't want another handful! Boys definitely are a lot of work.</p> <p>Ugh, anyone else go through this? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated right now. I HATE that I feel this way, I feel so guilty and shameful that I even have these thoughts! </p>