https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 21:33:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869428 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 12:43:10 +0000 looch 2869428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Of course it varies, I think that's a given. </p> <p>I do what I want, but it still means I have to hear it from my family when it's not what they want, you know? I decide when it's my money, travel time and vacation, but as with anything, you cant please everyone all of the time, so I am to meet in the middle. I would do some, but not all in your case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869426 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 12:35:21 +0000 periwinklebee 2869426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I'm sure it varies a lot by family! I think brother and SIL kind of expect attendance, so my plan is just me to go to the reveal, send a gift but pass on the shower, and then once the baby is born we will visit at some point to meet it. Perhaps they will expect more, but they've only visited us once ever (to meet LO), so that combined with these responses means I will not feel guilty! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869425 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 12:32:07 +0000 looch 2869425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can tell you in my family, if I didn't show up for my Brother and SIL's shower, it would have been a HUUUUUGEEEE deal, no matter where I lived. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869412 Tue, 29 Jan 2019 11:26:52 +0000 Mrsbells 2869412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I wouldnt travel for a gender reveal or even a shower, to me thats very low on my priority list. I would send a gift for the shower and call it a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869223 Mon, 28 Jan 2019 12:57:25 +0000 youboots 2869223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: seriously you are nice for even considering getting on an airplane for one. In this case it’s the thought that counts 😊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869222 Mon, 28 Jan 2019 12:54:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2869222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! Super helpful perspective, I'm feeling better about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869187 Mon, 28 Jan 2019 10:19:27 +0000 Mommy Finger 2869187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: Birds of a feather, you and me. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869159 Mon, 28 Jan 2019 06:39:59 +0000 Petitduck 2869159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just go visit the baby, that’s the important bit. I haven’t had a reveal because I found out at birth, but wouldn’t blink if someone didn’t come to any wedding or baby event aside from the actual wedding itself and when the baby was actually out of my body. I don’t know anyone who has done a gender reveal out of the 10+ babies I know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869144 Mon, 28 Jan 2019 00:04:53 +0000 Corduroy 2869144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Not a big deal for you and your family to miss. We had a mini gender reveal when we went to the ILs for the holidays. We opened the envelope with them since they'll always be the long distance side of the family (at least for the foreseeable future). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869138 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 22:31:28 +0000 ALV91711 2869138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just go once the baby is here. Send a shower gift and call it a day. </p> <p>I’m not big on gender reveals ands never did this myself. But even if I did I wouldn’t expect anyone to fly in for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869137 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 22:17:04 +0000 Pollywog 2869137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my family showers are a big deal. I'd try and make it to the shower. I absolutely wouldn't fly in for a gender reveal and certainly wouldn't fly through family in </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869136 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 22:13:38 +0000 DesertDreams88 2869136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heck no. DH's family/hometown is a 3 hour flight and mine is a 4-6 one depending on connections and We wouldn't go for a gender reveal or showers. We've even missed a bunch of weddings (then again, very little work leave and I have 28 cousins soooo there's just too many family events to get to.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869135 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 22:08:26 +0000 SweetiePie 2869135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JJ2626: Ditto all of what you said.<br /> No to the gender reveal.<br /> No to the shower.<br /> Visit after baby is born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869132 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 21:28:39 +0000 PurplePumps 2869132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd definitely pass on the gender reveal even on my own. I'd probably skip the shower and send a gift too and then only go to actually see the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869129 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 21:10:33 +0000 JJ2626 2869129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, I know this makes me sound like a jerk but gender reveals are so stupid. I think they just exist for Instagram, so no, I’d say you don’t have to go. Even without a baby to travel with, I wouldn’t attend it on principle, honestly, but I’m an a-hole. That said, if it’s instead of a baby shower, I’d consider going for family I was close to but I think going to meet the baby after is way more important. And you said you aren’t close anyway, so definitely skip it.</p> <p>ETA: just read this again that they are also having a shower. In that case, even harder pass on the reveal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869127 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 20:29:57 +0000 misolee 2869127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m close to my bro and SIL but they are a two hour flight away. I did not go to gender reveal/shower and they didn’t really expect us too. I’ve also had two kids since they got married and would not have expect them to come to mine. </p> <p>They did come meet the baby after babies were born and we also went after baby was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869124 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 20:01:26 +0000 erinbaderin 2869124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hard pass on the gender reveal, and agree with the others that you should just mail a gift and save your money for a visit when the baby is born. I wouldn’t expect somebody to travel for either of those events. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869123 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 19:59:29 +0000 periwinklebee 2869123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all, you're making me feel better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869121 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 19:50:16 +0000 LadyDi 2869121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did a very, very small and casual reveal and we just FaceTimed in my brother. I’d say skip it, definitely not worth a plane ride! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869115 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 19:25:54 +0000 meadow 2869115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar to PP. Mail a good shower gift and make the trip to meet bsby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869113 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 18:17:05 +0000 bees_knees 2869113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t go, and I wouldn’t blink an eye if someone did not travel from that far away for my gender reveal/baby shower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869112 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 18:05:39 +0000 SweetCaroline 2869112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would absolutely not go, and honestly...I would have a serious conversation about going to the shower. I would much rather give them a stellar gift than spend time/money to go to the shower. I'd rather save my time/money for after the baby arrives.</p> <p>I think the shower would be different if you were close with your brother. If it were me, I would take very well care of them when I visited the baby. Snack baskets, freezer meals or gift cards for food, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869111 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:51:05 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2869111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did not do one and was guilted into attending my sister's while dealing with infertility. I was bitter and really unhappy but it was a really big deal to my sister so my mom really pushed. I am not super close with my sister, thankfully they are only 30 min away. It might be worth checking in with your brother or mom to see what the overall feel is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869110 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:48:20 +0000 MamaBear87 2869110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just skip it entirely! See if someone can video chat you in so you can see it if you want </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869109 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:47:08 +0000 youboots 2869109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not think twice about not going, you could FaceTime it. I did not have one and personally do not care for them. I also would go by myself for the shower if that, I probably would just send a gift. I don’t remember being invited to my sisters shower who lives out of state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869108 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:40:33 +0000 crazydoglady 2869108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Shoot. I wouldn't even go by myself! I would ask someone to video chat it for you. Maybe send a gift? I feel like it's even less important than the shower. I would only go when the baby was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869107 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:38:53 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2869107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I bet you were invited so you wouldn’t feel left out. The reveal party is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869106 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:29:44 +0000 Portboston 2869106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn’t go to the reveal since you’re not close with them. (Disclaimer- I did not do one). I’m about a two hour flight from most of my close friends and if it’s their first I’ll go to the baby shower and hopefully will be able to go back to meet the baby within the first 3 months. But if I can’t do two trips I always prefer the “meet the baby trip”. I think there’s more value there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869105 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:21:51 +0000 Sams Mom 2869105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't expect anyone to come from that far away for just the gender reveal. Facebook live that stuff! (This coming from someone that didn't do a reveal)</p> <p>BUT if you're able to make the trip I wouldn't be upset if just the one of you came. I would tell them it's just so much logistics and LO doesn't travel well, that just you can make it (if they even ask) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-reveal-how-big-of-a-deal#post-2869104 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 17:18:06 +0000 periwinklebee 2869104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Brother and SIL are expecting. They are planning to have a gender reveal and a shower and of course we will want to meet the baby once it arrives. They are a three - four hour flight plus additional driving away. We have no leave from work given that LO is constantly sick, so any trips there will have to be super quick weekend visits. </p> <p>So my question is - how important is it to bring the family (DH + LO) to the gender reveal, versus me just going, which would be a lot less money and stress? LO got super air sick traveling for Christmas and was just miserable, that plus the expense and I'm really not enthusiastic about flying with him. I'm not close to my brother/SIL, so it's hard for me to gauge how much they will care if we don't all come. Like do people have wedding level expectations? Or nbd? If you were to have a gender reveal, what are your expectations about family traveling to it? </p> <p>(I didn't have a reveal, and asked for my shower to be over google hangouts, as I didn't want to burden people with the travel, in short I wouldn't care at all, but don't know how general this is...) </p>