https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 14:33:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-770100 Thu, 09 May 2013 12:33:21 +0000 immabeetoo 770100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gendering of kids' stuff drives me BANANAS. I agree that there are some innate differences and qualities, but I think a lot is encouraged and enforced by parents, and then once the kids are old enough they've internalized it and police gender roles all on their own. </p> <p>Even now at 5 months my son is already hearing he's "all boy" because he is busy and loves flying/bouncing. Is that bad? No. But I think busy/rough behavior is encouraged and 'excused' in boys whereas girls are often told to act ladylike or have princess manners. When girls are dramatic or whiney or emotional it's "what a drama queen" whereas boys are told that's "girly" behavior. </p> <p>I try to quell anyone saying LO can't/shouldn't wear pink, rainbow, legwarmers, whatever it may be as he gets older and encourage him to explore his interests and hope that we can raise him to be confident if that means he is outside the norm.</p> <p>@Mrs. Pen: one of my best friends growing up was always the only boy in dance and got teased a ton but once he got to high school it became cool again! he now dances/performs professionally - i'm so glad he stuck with it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-770030 Thu, 09 May 2013 12:08:56 +0000 looch 770030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I look around my environment and at the end of the day, my husband and do pretty similar things. We both take care in making sure that our person and personal space are neat and tidy. Yeah, I am wearing a skirt and he is wearing pants, but we both clean up the kitchen and bathroom when we are done and we both drive a car or ride a train to work. I look at toys and role playing simply as preparation for life in the real world. I surround my son with as many practical items as possible but try not to restrict how he uses them. That's where the lesson is, I think,. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-770023 Thu, 09 May 2013 12:06:48 +0000 HLK208 770023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was never really bothered by those comments. Like, @Mrs. Bee: we never encouraged him just to play with trucks, cars, etc. He always gravitated toward boyish toys like planes, cars, super heroes. We have let him choose what he wants to play with. However, as he got a little older, he wanted to be just like his dad and was done with getting into my make-up. I think that inspired him to be more "boy". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-770000 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:56:25 +0000 Lozza 770000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We get a lot of comments about LO being "all boy"... I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that he is both very physical and very assertive.</p> <p>I'm signing him up for ballet in the fall, he'll be two and a half. At this age, I'll be really surprised if he or the other kids care if he's the only boy in the class. I also know that at the dance studio I'm sending him to, they have some all-boys classes for ages 6 and up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769914 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:18:30 +0000 pelikila 769914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@stargal: bizarre! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769906 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:16:03 +0000 stargal 769906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pelikila: agree with you 100% on everything you said</p> <p>p got told he was to pretty to be a boy?!?!! Wth? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769895 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:14:11 +0000 pelikila 769895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think some of it could be people wanting to participate or relate in some way and stereotypes usually come to mind. It doesn't matter how I dress my son or that I tell people his name, his big blue eyes often skew what they "see" and they will say how pretty SHE is. My son has a kitchen, a baby doll, plenty of plush animals, LOVES to vacuum, and really doesn't like messes or being messy, etc. and he naturally also has a desire to jump off of things, bang on things with a hammer, spend all of his time outdoors, and LOVES trains. To me, what he shows an interest in is what I'll encourage, regardless of stereotype. If other people want to give him stereotypically boy-oriented toys, that's fine, but I won't limit him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769891 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:12:57 +0000 Mrsbells 769891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: Haha I know right! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769888 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:12:01 +0000 stargal 769888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: I've always wonder this too! Like do we socially condition are kids to choose boyish/girlish toys based on what the learn or is it internally engrained in our DNA. I think it would be so interesting to see what a kid gravitated to without any outside conditioning. Alas not possible.<br /> For the record my son from like 3 months on has loved everything glittery and pink, im totallu cool with.it. hey if that what makws him happy, go for it little man!<br /> I totallu think c can rock a hellokitty backpack! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769878 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:06:22 +0000 Mrs. Twine 769878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So here is a quick story, and I promise to come back and opine more later when I've more time. When Ellie was about two, she put on a necklace, twirled in a circle, and said "I'm beautiful!" She didn't watch ANY media, was home with me all the time, and I sure as stuff don't put on necklaces and twirl in a circle saying I look beautiful. So obviously it came from her. I encouraged her (still do) to do and be interested in whatever she was drawn to, whether it was "boy stuff" or "girl stuff." It is just fascinating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769873 Thu, 09 May 2013 11:03:07 +0000 Maysprout 769873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's some differences but for a lot of things it's probably like a 60/40 split. Like maybe 60% of boys like climbing trees whereas 40% of girls do (just a random made up example). The labels bother me too, I just don't see any reason to restrict activity based on stereotypes, if the kids fit the mold of the gender stereotypes than so be it but I'm guessing every body - even the most 'manly' man or 'feminine' woman has several interests/characteristics that are deemed more likely to be found in the opposite sex. </p> <p>I don't remember such a boy/girl split in toys growing up, I think there's just more plastic crap sold and dividing up boy/girl stuff is just a convenient way to make more product. We try to avoid anything over the top but my daughter loves pink and sparkly, so while we avoid that for big purchases that we want to use for multiple kids, we def let her have some pink and sparkles in her life - her ideal is to be pink, sparkly and running through mud and puddles, that's the combo so far she's chosen </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769858 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:58:01 +0000 Mrs. Pen 769858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: I think the error comes in saying that a boy <i>shouldn't</i> love or do something because it's "for girls". Like my kid loved that pink hello kitty backpack - but no way would he ever be able to carry that around because he'd be teased or made fun of for having a girl item. Same with if he actually wanted to be in dance. My little brother used to play the violin and was getting really good but he quit because the pressure from all the teasing (violin is an instrument for girls) was too much for him to handle.</p> <p>So yes - the stereotypes come because as men and women we ARE different. But my issue is where it starts to control and define what we should/shouldn't like.</p> <p>@Mrs. Bee: haha! yes I do agree so many things are ingrained, not taught! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769826 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:49:44 +0000 Mrs. Bee 769826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>what's interesting is that we never pushed "boy" things on charlie. if anything, we encouraged him to play with his play kitchen, dolls, doll stroller, tea set -- stereotypically "girl" toys.</p> <p>one day i was flipping through an art illustration book and he saw a picture of the hulk. he was instantly mesmerized and asked me a million questions about him. so now even though we do nothing to encourage it (he doesn't watch tv for instance), he is SO into superheroes. gender roles are largely learned, but seeing how charlie gravitates to certain things is really interesting to watch! </p> <p>meanwhile olive is definitely more of a stereotypical "girl." she is super cautious and dainty while charlie was rough and tumble and climbing everywhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769812 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:47:20 +0000 mrbee 769812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind mentions of gender stereotypes too much, as long as it's just to me and not to the kids!</p> <p>If it was said to the kids (especially if it was multiple times), I might ask the person not to keep bringing it up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769810 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:46:32 +0000 mrsjazz 769810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: People just say anything. My LO was walking at 11 months and people said it was because she's a girl and girls walk sooner than boys! Haha, it can't be both! </p> <p>@Mrs. Pen: I think there's some truth to what Mrsbells said, sometimes people don't know what to say. Also, our culture has the gender divisions so engrained. My LO could be wearing a headband but people say, "What a cute little boy!" because she has a blue coat!</p> <p>I think if J is interested in tap, put him in tap! Maybe you can find a class that has other little boys in it. I also hate that we have to worry about gender stereotypes and what it means to be a boy or girl--when there is no set way to be either one. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769801 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:45:02 +0000 photojane 769801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's a little bit of both! I think the gender roles have to come from somewhere, so I do believe there are definite innate differences between gender (e.g. most men prefer watching/playing sports, while most women prefer fashion/shopping). There will always be people that don't "fit the mold," and that is a-okay, but I don't think the gender roles were made up out of thin air. If my son wants to love pink, that's great... whatever he wants! BUT, I wouldn't say we're all the same &amp; the world imposes everything gender-related on us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769797 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:43:58 +0000 Bookish 769797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ever since I started getting on the Toys R Us website more often for my registry, I've been really bothered by their division of toys into 'Boys' and 'Girls.' Like you, I was very tomboyish as a young kid and loved to climb things, play with my toy cars, and play video games with my dad. I also loved Barbies and dress up! </p> <p>So, it bothers me when I see toys labelled for one gender. I get that I don't have to listen to the labels, but the labels do create expectations... what if my LO doesn't want to play with something simply because it's labelled 'For Boys'? Will that stop her from engaging in her interests? </p> <p>LO isn't here yet, so I don't know how I'm going to handle all this, but I definitely get my hackles up about things being gender labeled (and I know we had a thread about using gender vs. sex, so I hope I'm using the words correctly) at such a young age. I want my LO to experience everything, and although there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that her sex is female, I don't want her to ever feel defined by a label. </p> <p>Ooh that was long. :p </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769792 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:42:17 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 769792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My little bro was in gymnastics/ tumbling at 3. He was the only boy and received so much attention. He loved it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769790 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:41:41 +0000 Mrsbells 769790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think people just dont have anything else to say sometimes. My 12 month old doesnt walk yet and people say oh its because she is a girl, because girls walk later than boys which may or may not be true </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gender-stereotypes-in-toddlers#post-769766 Thu, 09 May 2013 10:35:18 +0000 Mrs. Pen 769766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I'm looking for some interesting discussion on this topic. We've all heard/read the nature vs nurture debates and this is kind of an extension of that.</p> <p>Sometimes I will post pictures of videos of J and people may comment, "Oh he is such a boy!!" but so far all of those things I know for a fact I did as a kid too! I.e. climbing like a monkey on everything, wrestling and picking up/throwing rocks.</p> <p>But then there are other things he does that if he were a girl I'm sure people would say "oh she's such a girl!" like playing in my makeup drawer, and squealing when he saw a pink hello kitty backpack and hugging it (it was hilarious), and dressing up in my clothes.</p> <p>How many things that a toddler/child does if gender related, or only perceived gender related? I may have a skewed perception as most of my childhood I was all tom boy - climbing trees, playing in the mud, making paper airplanes, legos, wrestling with my brothers, burping contests, etc... I didn't become "all-girl" until I was a teen. So I see the things J does and think any toddler would do those things. </p> <p>Lately J loves to do this little dance with his feet and it looks just like tap dancing! DH actually suggested we put him in tap, but we both have concerns about him being the only boy in a dance class and getting really teased and I hate that that has to be a concern.</p> <p>What do you think? And why are we so concerned with putting labels on boy/girl stuff? I think that personally bothers me so much! </p>