https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 01:02:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-672056 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 22:11:29 +0000 Mrs. Fox 672056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess we never talked about how many kids we wanted. Or we did in a vague way. Probably because I'm a very happy only and he's part of a very large family, I just assumed I'd be one and done and he'd probably want me to have more. Unfortunately, just the reverse has happened. I love being a mom do much I'm dying to have a second one. And because of money and life goals, DH says he's done. It's made me very sad, which I have no right to be with a thriving, happy child in my arms. It was causing a lot of trouble between us. Ultimately, I do believe that I'd rather have a happy marriage then more children. But I still hope he'll change his mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671928 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 20:29:17 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 671928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: how difficult!</p> <p>We discussed before marriage too because it was a really big issue for dh. I'm the one who compromised on 1 instead of 2 and I'm okay with it although id still like two. I definitely think it's safer to have less than more. I'd hate resentment in either side with a little baby around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671788 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 18:51:59 +0000 AprilK 671788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always said that we'd want 2 or 3.... Now that we have our son and see how time-consuming kids are, and know that pregnancy is really hard on me (I'm sick as a dog 24/7 the whole pregnancy) we are both set on stopping at 2. If #2 is a boy we have talked about possibly adopting a little girl, but that is really pretty abstract at this point!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671495 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:04:06 +0000 MrsStar 671495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We agree on 2, he knows that when number 2 gets a bit older i'll be wanting to try for a third since I love the baby stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671358 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:45:04 +0000 purrpletulips 671358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought we were on the same page at 2 but now that we have 2, DH keeps suggesting we have a third. I am happy with just having two and am frustrated because both times I got pregnant (and we were TTC) DH flipped out about the cost, responsibility, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671250 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:11:49 +0000 Bookish 671250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: Yeah, that's very true! I know we are in a much better financial position now than we were just two years ago, so who knows?! I might have oodles of money to throw at a second kid LOL ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671243 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:09:34 +0000 sarac 671243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We both changed our minds like crazy. He used to want two, max, and I wanted a huge family. Then fatherhood hit and now he'd take ten, or twenty. No joke. He'd take as many as I was happy to make. Being a father is as natural to him as breathing. </p> <p>I, on the other hand, am realizing that I don't want to give my body over to pregnancy and breastfeeding forever. I want to start my career when my children go to school. I don't want to be a stay at home mother for 10 more years. I would be happy to just have my one child, honestly. My husband really wants at least one more, so we'll likely get back into fertility treatments for that one. But I'm unlikely to push it past that one more. </p> <p>Just wait, we'll have triplets or something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671019 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 13:05:58 +0000 Mrs. Train 671019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we got married we both agreed 2 was ideal. Clearly life had different plans for us. I think it's something that can be evaluated and reevaluated at multiple times like after a child Is born, after they turn 1 or even later. It so hard to know how you will feel months or years down the road. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-671000 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 13:01:49 +0000 Raindrop 671000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Foodnerd81 :)</p> <p>It's not something to worry about this second, but I'm a totally worry wart so I understand how you feel. DH wants 2 and I want 3+ but we decided to take it one kid at a time.</p> <p>I have had a few friends recently that wanted a ton of kids but when they had their first one and they were done. So maybe he will change his mind after the baby comes or maybe you will change your mind after the baby comes.</p> <p>On the subject of money... I know this doesn't happen to everyone but when DS was born we were stuggling a bit with money but with promotions and job changes we are doing a lot better, we did not know that these things would happen. So maybe in a few years you will be better in the money department too.</p> <p>Life has a way of surprising you. :)</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670984 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:57:11 +0000 heffalump 670984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I aren't really on the same page right now about number of kids.... but I feel like we'll just cross that bridge when we get there. </p> <p>We originally agreed on 2. And then I got pregnant, had LO, and right away wanted more. Now I'm in the 3-4 kids camp, knowing that 3 is a lot more realistic so that's what I'm fighting for. DH said that he's open to 3 kids, but we both also know that we can't afford 3 kids. Neither of us want to put ourselves in a situation where we're miserable because we're broke. Also, I'm a SAHM and he said we could possibly have 3 kids if I went back to work. I don't want to go back to work, for me it wouldn't be worth it to have a baby that I can't be with every day, that wouldn't make me happy at all. But right now we just have one LO, we're not even ready to TTC for #2 yet, so we'll do that and see how that goes, and then once we think we might be ready for #3 we'll see how we stand financially. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670980 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:56:09 +0000 Pepper 670980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are both open to having more than one, but we're waiting to see how we do with our first LO before we make any kind of plans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670931 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:43:26 +0000 immabeetoo 670931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In short we thought wed be one and done and then foster adopt now that LO is here we've decided to try for a second and foster adopt once they're old enough to understand what that means. So you might be surprised yourself! Don't know if that's helpful but its my experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670916 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:39:06 +0000 sorrycharlie 670916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsTiz: unfortunately, sometimes that doesn't work...we also talked about it before marriage and were in total agreement (actually, he wanted 3-4 and I said 2-3). Then LO comes along, and now he claims he's one and done. We had a huge, month long ordeal about it and he's settled on 2. But he COMPLETELY changed his mind on me.</p> <p>To answer the OP...we're still in debate..lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670906 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:36:55 +0000 mamabolt 670906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As of right now we are on the same page. We have one LO and know we definitely want to try for another once she turns 2. But if the second LO is another girl, DH will want to try for a boy and I'll be happy with 2. Not sure what we'll do at that point, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670901 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:35:24 +0000 Weagle 670901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We both knew we wanted more than one, so we just decided to take it one kid at a time. I don't think there's really any way to make that decision until you become a parent. At least, there wasn't a way for us. It's such a life-changing thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670837 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:10:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 670837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: Oh I love to worry about things that I shouldn't worry about for years. Just ask DH :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670830 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:08:04 +0000 Bookish 670830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: That's a good point! It really isn't something we have to worry about right now :) I just like to worry... </p> <p>@babycanuck: Yeah, we discussed the only child thing, but she will have cousins in the same town, and TONS of family within a few hours, which is very different than what I had (even with 2 sisters), so we aren't terribly worried about that part of it at least. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670823 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:06:12 +0000 MrsTiz 670823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked about this before marriage. If I wanted 6 kids and DH only wanted 1, I would not have married him because I need my partner to have a similar life goal as I do.</p> <p>So, two kids it is! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670819 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:04:53 +0000 Foodnerd81 670819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think it's really something you need to worry about right this second. I also hear it's common for people to be very emotional during the process and be all "this is awesome let's have tons of babies!!" Then once you get into the day to day stuff and get settled, emotions settle down and you can talk a little more normally about it.<br /> DH and I were lucky in that he wanted two, and I wanted two or three, so pretty much we have settled with two being a good number. I still feel like 3 is a slim possibility, because you never know (pretty much what your DH said) but I'm planning on 2 and we are both happy with it. In your situation, I'd just say, let's talk about it again in 2 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670805 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 11:59:17 +0000 babycanuck 670805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had this discussion with my DH several times. I only wanted one in the beginning, for the same reasons as you (finances, mostly...and I'm scared out of my mind of the birthing process). He said we need to have at least 2, because it's unfair to have only one. I see where he's coming from, at the same time I'm still nervous about it. I have only child friends who lost their parents young and don't have that sibling relationship to help them get through it. I don't know what I would do without my sister being around, but I'm not an only child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-so-on-of-kids#post-670772 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 11:49:52 +0000 Bookish 670772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DH and I started TTC, we had a few discussions on # of kids, and I thought we were on the same page that we would most likely be one-and-done. We both feel very strongly that if we cannot provide the same kind of financial support for a second child, we would not have him/her. We aren't struggling per se, but day care expenses are going to put us in a budget crunch for the next four years or so, and honestly, I don't think I'll want to go through another 4 years after that if we had kid #2!</p> <p>So basically, we were on the same page,.... until we went for a walk the other night and he tells me to save my maternity clothes *just in case.* This really threw me and I asked him to clarify what he meant. He sort of jabbered on about how accidents happen and how we might feel differently after LO gets here, and I'm basically staring at him with this big WHAT on my face, because even if we want kid #2, our bank account won't! And I thought that was something we came to terms with.</p> <p>So I'm sorry that was so long, but my basic question is, how did you and and your SO get on the same page for # of kids, and if you didn't, did one of you compromise? I think it's adorable that he has baby fever again (while I'm still pregnant, mind you!), but I feel very strongly that I only want one! </p>