https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 15:13:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921302 Thu, 03 Dec 2020 18:57:14 +0000 Jessiemuller88 2921302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: awww! Seems that your DH is catching on. That is an awesome gift!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921300 Thu, 03 Dec 2020 17:29:39 +0000 Chuckles 2921300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, I feel terrible. I found out what my present is, and it's awesome. DH got me a subscription to a cheese of the month club because I've been sad about not getting to go to Whole Foods (because of covid) and pick fancy cheese from the little cheese basket of random pieces (if you know what I'm talking about). So he is making me a wooden cheese board to go with it. I mean, we literally have at least 4 cheese/fancy cutting boards already that we've collected over time, but it's still at least very sweet and goes along with a great gift. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921104 Thu, 26 Nov 2020 05:40:11 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2921104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ALV91711: You deserve to gift yourself something extraordinarily frivolous for not killing him after saying that :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921036 Mon, 23 Nov 2020 01:09:54 +0000 ALV91711 2921036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This year DH bought winter tires for my car and said that’s my Christmas gift!!!</p> <p>I think you just need to have a conversation and tell him what you want. Men are not great gift givers in general. </p> <p>Usually I give my DH a very specific list down to what to get for my stocking. He will mostly shop from that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921016 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 22:41:58 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2921016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I think if he makes something that clearly doesn't hit the mark, that might be an opening to say something. I'd approach it something like "I really appreciate your thoughtfulness but here's why X doesn't really work for me and when you disappear in your workshop for hours, I'm actually left with a ton of work with kids and house and etc and you're getting to enjoy your hobby, so it feels like less of a gift because of that as well." It's definitely hard. It was honestly really difficult with my DH as well because even though he was off the mark, he clearly spent a lot of time thinking about what to get and research things so it wasn't just a one-off buy whatever and I felt really awful about saying something but I was just really open about it with him and told him that I felt really bad and it seemed to go ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921014 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 22:14:32 +0000 Chuckles 2921014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I do have an Amazon list, but he doesn't normally buy me stuff from it because we share it with family members, but there's usually enough there that he could pick something. It's not like he has no guidance at all.<br /> @gotkimchi: @MrsSCB: @wrkbrk: Your responses made me laugh. I can't decide if this is a situation where he's like, I want to play around in the woodshop, but I don't have anything to make, so I guess I'll make something for DW (less preferable). Or, (and I think this is more likely), he wants to make me something because he thinks it will be a nice gesture, even if it's misguided. And it's usually more like the journal example, something where I can see why he thought it was a good gift, but it's still totally not (or, like, ugly jewelry that is from a small shop and can't be returned). But maybe I should turn the tables and be like, I'm spending all day knitting a scarf for you for Hanukkah, even when that's just fun for me and he has no interest in a knitted scarf. :silly:<br /> @Mrs. Carrot: If it didn't seem like potentially a nice gesture, or he was so completely off base like your DH, I think I'd say something. But at this point, what can I say? Please don't make me something in your woodshop; I'd rather have a new sweater. That just seems mean.<br /> ETA: I will say that he did a great job buying me a 40th birthday present this year: a gift card to a flower shop that i asked for and a subscription to a monthly book club from The Bloggess </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921013 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 21:35:17 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2921013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so understand this and I've finally gotten over myself and just started telling him to stop (kindly). For years he would buy absurdly expensive jewelry for me. I don't wear much jewelry and I really hate expensive jewelry. Then he started buying me personal care things like clothes and massages. God bless him, he thinks I'm 2 sizes smaller than I actually am, his taste is somewhere on the 50+ housewife spectrum, so I have to return nearly everything he buys, and I hate massages. Finally I told him to please stop and just can we please just go out to a nice dinner or do a trip or something. This year is tough since we can't go anywhere so I just told him what I wanted, and I'm a little nervous he'll go overboard again (because somehow we went from "I'd like some fun cookbooks" to "I'm getting you one for food from every continent") but I just got tired of disappointment so I highly recommend a conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921011 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 16:02:45 +0000 wrkbrk 2921011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I guess this year he gets a coupon for your favorite takeout and a hallmark Christmas movie marathon. 🤷🏼‍♀️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921010 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 14:25:15 +0000 MrsSCB 2921010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally agree with @Anagram, these seem like ways to enjoy his own hobbies while pretending he’s being altruistic by making things for you. Please tell me he did the dishes for the VDay surprise?! Cooking a meal is not a “gift” unless it includes cleanup! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921009 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 14:21:04 +0000 Anagram 2921009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: it kind of seems like most of his gifts for you are actually gifts for himself. He’s gifting himself a day devoted to his hobbies. Maybe you should start gifting him things devoted to your interests. Like you take the day off and prepare your favorite dinner, and then gift him a couples massage for 2 (whether or not he likes massages). Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921008 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 13:04:23 +0000 gotkimchi 2921008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I just want to say I hear you and it sucks! It’s nice he try’s but I would be equally annoyed. So when he says I’m going to be in the workshop this weekend you should say oh that’s so sweet but what I’d really like is you to watch the kids all weekend while I go do whatever </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921007 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 12:57:46 +0000 bakingdoodle 2921007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know how we always think the grass is greener somewhere else? I think your husband is very sweet and thoughtful. Men can't read our mind and so we have to do with it. I've told many many times my husband I don't want any gift because we have the kids... but I wish he would tell me to hire a cleaning lady, hire an electrician so I can put a better cooking stove and etc.<br /> At least your husband cooks. Mine 'prepares' costco food and he can make stuffing from a box. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gift-from-dh#post-2921006 Sat, 21 Nov 2020 10:56:33 +0000 Chuckles 2921006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This totally isn't a rant because it's so sweet that he tries, but DH is the worst gift giver. I think I'm just amazed at how he's always so close to what would be a great gift, but also so far. Two examples of many: a blank journal with a green cover (it was my favorite color green but I have never in my life used a journal) and a tiny wooden vase that he made in his workshop (I love flowers, but it can only hold 1 tiny stem and almost no water - plus then he literally never bought flowers to go in it). So this morning he was like, I need to work in my workshop this weekend because I'm working on a gift for you. Which basically means that I'm on childcare duty while he plays with a saw and then I get something random and useless. But I know it's absolutely the thought that counts. We've been together 14 years so I just need to get over it and hope that other family members will get me something i actually want (or just buy it myself). Oh, one other example- one year for Valentine's Day, he let me rush around the house getting ready in the morning to drop DS at daycare and then he lied about going to work and instead stayed home and cooked a big Valentine's dinner. It's so sweet in theory, but in reality, he likes to cook, so he just took the day off work to do something fun and dirty every dish in the house. </p>