https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 16:45:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2679085 Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:42:01 +0000 caitlanc 2679085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO1 is bright and maybe a little ahead of the curve as far as reading and math go compared to his peers but I wouldn't say he's gifted. (He turned 4 in November.) I think he will probably take after me. I was reading at the 5th grade level in 1st grade and in the G&amp;T program in elementary school. I was above average through high school and while I'm smart enough, I didn't exceed my expectations and so wouldn't classify myself as that now. </p> <p>As far as seeking out G&amp;T programs, I wouldn't be inclined to do so as long as LO is being sufficiently challenged in the main classroom. For me, the G&amp;T program was fine but what really impacted me were my amazing teachers in grades 1, 3 and 5. They are the ones that truly made a difference. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2678506 Wed, 11 Jan 2017 23:41:24 +0000 Iced Tea 2678506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was also labeled gifted at an early age. In my case, the gifted program (just an occasional pull-out program in the years it was available at all in our poor district), was kind of a joke. I will say that it gave me a confidence boost at first, but later became a source of anxiety as I feared testing poorly and losing the label. I suffer(ed) from an anxiety disorder, however, so maybe that wouldn't worry most kids. </p> <p>I did attend a state-run summer program in high school that was aimed at gifted kids, though it wasn't labeled as such. It required a long application, essays, and recommendations to gain a spot. Now THAT was a really good program and I'm so glad I did it. But I actually could have done it without ever having been tested and labeled. </p> <p>I think overall, I wouldn't test my young child unless I felt confident that the difference in program options would be worth the labeling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2678104 Wed, 11 Jan 2017 14:38:08 +0000 sandy 2678104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: that chart is great at showing how gifted children think differently! It's not simply advanced abilities that make a child gifted although many gifted kids will display advanced abilities like reading early at an advanced level or being able to grasp math concepts early on. </p> <p>My DD1 goes to a gifted school and had to complete testing by a qualified child psychologist. She's very normal but at the same time you can tell she operates/thinks so differently than other kids and she's been that way since she was very little (as early as 18 months). DH is also gifted and so he can relate to her very much in terms of how public school just would not work for her - she would just be bored especially bc we do not live in a great school district. </p> <p>Like a PP said, it's a lot of work having a gifted kid and also very expensive. I know friends with a gifted first child and they almost wish their second won't be gifted bc of the work/expense that it can entail </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2678090 Wed, 11 Jan 2017 14:32:30 +0000 808love 2678090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first clue was an aunt didn't believe I could read at age 4, thought I was memorizing it and gave me a newspaper which I read for her to her surprise. In elementary, I thought everyone was getting 100% on everything like me in school so I had no idea I was different until I was tested upon entry/placement at a new school. I just knew the moment something was 'wrong' in a test, the teacher said something off or a book was not edited correctly. And it would bother me for a moment or two. I noticed every single incongruency or wanted to learn every single new word or idea that I've heard at the time I was exposed to it. It was totally intrinsic. Due to my introversion and other environmental situations, I also hid in middle school and purposely scored down on my placement test to put in the same 'easy' classes with my low performing friends/relatives. Because of that, low income family, no enrichment or activities and moving around A TON in upper grades, I didn't have the benefit of a gifted education for most of my years. Somehow I found/attracted the right crowd and outlets in college which was completely a new world for me, so I turned out ok! Because of my experiences, I recognize the advantage of a specialized gifted education to engage kids with these abilities and value what a gifted peer group/community offers in developmental years.</p> <p>Also wanted to add that just because a child is in a gifted program, there are many other social groups -family, peer, sports and other outside activities that a gifted child will interact with and won't be in a bubble. Just educated differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2678067 Wed, 11 Jan 2017 14:19:28 +0000 MrsSCB 2678067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He started rolling over pretty early, does that count? ;-) My husband and I met in high school -- we went to a magnet school that you have to apply to, similar to a college application (there's a test, recommendations, you have to submit a "resume" listing extracurriculars, etc.) I think it worked well for high school. I don't know whether I would consider myself gifted, but I certainly benefited from being in classes and talking with students who were extremely gifted. That being said, I don't know that I would want to be testing my son for any "giftedness" at an earlier age than that. And I'm not really sure how I feel about separating gifted kids out in general...on the one hand, it's important that particularly smart kids feel challenged. On the other, I think being around people smarter than you is motivational and educational, and gifted-only programs obviously take those kids out of the typical classroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2678004 Wed, 11 Jan 2017 12:45:58 +0000 JenGirl 2678004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: It's hard to say what I did that was "different" as a small child. I don't remember too much from back then :silly: . In general, I've always been an extrememly curious and logical person and I really, truly, love to learn. I'm one of those people who would just go to school forever, if that was an option! As a kid, things often just "made sense" without too much explaining. I've always been a huge reader.</p> <p>I know that throughout my childhood, but particularly in my early childhood (preschool age), I gravitated towards adults and older children rather than my peers. It was something the preschool teachers really worked with me on, but it was also likely influenced by the fact that I was an only child to a single mom who brought me with her to all her social things where I was generally the only child present (restaurants, the theater, etc).</p> <p>My family likes to tell a story that the preschool teachers told my mom that I was doing great reading and she was blown away because she didn't think I could read, at all. I had been hiding it at home because I thought my parents and grandparents would quit reading to me when they found out I could read myself (totally unfounded fear).</p> <p>I don't know exactly what the testing was that I did in Kindergarden to qualify for my AP program in 1st grade. Mom says that it was all verbal (no written) and based around play but she didn't know specifics because she wasn't allowed to be in the room. She asked me about it right after the testing and all I remembered was that they asked me to think of all the things that I could think to do with an empy Coke can. :silly: </p> <p>I didn't really think of myself as unusual in elememtary school, because I was surrounded by kids in the same program. Middle school was really an eye opening experience, for me, and helped me learn that things don't always come so easily to others, which has helped now that I teach grad students as part of my job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2675598 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 22:37:08 +0000 irene 2675598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a short note to thank everyone for this discussion. I am truly humbled and I learned so much from you all. I am so happy to have brought this up here.</p> <p>I think I am with you guys, I do believe DS is advanced (particularly in reading and maybe math), but not quite "gifted". This thread confirms my belief. We shall see. And then of course he is "average" in areas such as social interaction and expression of his feelings. He is still bursting into tantrums! </p> <p>@brownie: I honestly have no idea if my school has a gifted program. Afterall they are in preschool and I suspect they do when they go higher, like everyone said, probably after grade 3. I should ask about it. I was told by this other mom that her DD and my DS was sometimes separated out from the rest of the class and do other assignments (that DS doesn't even tell me. Hm. )</p> <p>@Mamaof2: Wow that is an amazing chart. I am blown away. I can't say I know how or where DS would fit in it though.</p> <p>@JenGirl: Your experience is so interesting, thank you so much for sharing! Out of curiousity, what could you do back then that makes you "different" from the average child your age? </p> <p>@honeybear: Thanks for your comments. I am reading it multiple times :)</p> <p>@FaithFertility: Good to know!! Haha! I have no clue. </p> <p>@Greentea: I can not agree more. It's more the guilt of not knowing what to do to nurture the "gift", and if they didn't turn out to be the next Steve Jobs then there would be more guilt. I would rather my son be respectful, self sufficient, and most importantly, happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2675545 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:29:06 +0000 sunny 2675545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea if my kid is gifted. She is bright and creative but she isn't reading yet which is usually a marker for giftedness. We will participate in any school testing and if she is referred for special programs we will enthusiastically participate. I think getting the appropriate education for giftedness or non giftedness is important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2675538 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:24:53 +0000 Orchid 2675538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think my children are gifted. I do think the label is too generously applied in many, if not most cases. If your kid knows a lot of stuff that by no means indicates he or she is gifted. Letting them get any idea that they're gifted is potentially detrimental in the long-term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted/page/2#post-2675524 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:13:19 +0000 erinbaderin 2675524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my son is smart, but he's not yet 3, it's too soon to say (my younger son is only 10 months, I don't even know if he's smart yet). My brother and I were both in the gifted program in school. We were referred and tested - he was 7, I was 9 - and both screened into the program. We went to a "gifted school" through grade 8, and then were in the gifted program in a "regular" high school<br /> that was a mix of gifted classes (basically the core classes - English, French, maths, sciences) and regular classes (more specialized stuff - drama, creative writing, etc). I definitely had a great experience but I'm not sure if I would put my kids through it. It was tough going from a grade 8 class with 40 kids to a high school with 400 grade 9s, and my schools all involved a 20 minute drive or 45 minutes on the bus, and none of my friends were local. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675520 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 20:03:38 +0000 Greentea 2675520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>An IQ test is required to enter the 20K a year gifted school here. It is interesting, I read an interview (I believe in the lit mag The Sun, with a woman who was in the field of testing children for many years, in Colorado I believe) that most parents do not actually want their child to be gifted because it is essentially more work. In her opinion, most people seemed to want average kids. It is interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675498 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 19:15:02 +0000 Andrea 2675498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't answer the poll because I don't know if my children are gifted or not. It seemed like Irene wanted to know what other people have done in her shoes (and not just - is your child gifted, yes or no) so that's how I answered. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675460 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 17:12:50 +0000 JenGirl 2675460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: The teachers in my camp were so good! I think it really shows how awesome teachers and learning can be when you aren't constricted by test scores and regulations and all that. People got to teach what they wanted, how they wanted. And, yes, we had assignments and homework and tests and all of that, but the teachers recognized that we were there on our summer break, so te made sure that their subjects were interesting and fun to learn. One of the classes that I took there actually directed my entire professional career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675334 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 14:01:06 +0000 winniebee 2675334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyann: Having fun is high on my list of important skills to have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675333 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 14:00:33 +0000 winniebee 2675333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS1 - He's 4.5 I think he is bright and curious. I don't think he is gifted. </p> <p>DS2 - He's 2. I don't have any real opinion about his intelligence level yet. However, I don't think he's gifted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675332 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:59:06 +0000 winniebee 2675332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675308 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:37:40 +0000 looch 2675308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: I agree with you that HB has a high number of highly educated parents, and with that comes children that are expected to be high performing as well. I think that's a good thing, but I tend to think that giftedness (think prodigy level) is very rare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675306 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:35:43 +0000 lilyann 2675306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of my boys (ages 4 and 2.5) are gifted or bright, they know how to have fun :grin: I am excited to see what areas interest them when they are older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675304 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:33:24 +0000 Mamaof2 2675304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I think its because most assume being smart means you are gifted....it does not </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675302 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:29:48 +0000 808love 2675302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: Yes, everyone has their own success, with or without that label. Although I had the label and the advantage of gifted classes, my mom didn't do anything to support or enrich me as we were a low income single parent household. Public school kicked in with the only outlet. I went to state college (couldn't pay any other application fees), selected a mediocre paying but highly satisfying career as an educator. I've had awesome opportunities to flesh out my life that may/may not have had to do with 'giftedness' but the school/enrichment opportunities are definitely something I as a parent don't want to miss, with or without a label for LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675297 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:25:50 +0000 anonysquire 2675297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My children are weird. Very quirky and creative. But I don't think they are gifted. I mean yes they are the worlds smartest kids to me. But they are just so weird and hilarious and goofy. I think they are pretty smart and then they take a bath in toothpaste and I rethink all my life decisions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675296 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:23:03 +0000 Silva 2675296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kid is bright but she is not "gifted." Her dad is, I am smart but not "gifted." The chart posted above is definitely true for her dad and me. Honestly I was actually worried she would be- seems like a tough path. But it's clear to me she is special and bright but not "gifted."</p> <p>I wasn't challenged enough in school but my mom made sure I was involved in a lot of other stuff. I think this made me more well rounded and less intensely focused on academic performance than if she'd pushed me to skip grades or something. I went to an Ivy League undergrad school and then transfered to a top ranked New England college when I didn't like it. Also earned my masters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675290 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 13:18:42 +0000 808love 2675290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JenGirl: Thanks for info on that program you attended! This is the kind of thing I'm looking for:)<br /> I've been reading up on enrichment curriculum research this winter break and Gifted programs in public schools can really pull up the talent pool in America (and other countries) by developing their potential and channeling energy in a focused way. It reduces boredom and gives step-up opportunities to less economically/geographically advantaged kids. I loved being a student in gifted classes in various elementary schools in NJ and WA and wish they offered them where I live now. I incorporate a lot of the spirit of how they taught as an educator of regular education classes and it helps drive engagement of all students.<br /> Also to note, I think HB, in general, attracts a highly educated sample of parents. So I think it will follow there will be the chance of more than several gifted kids here, some that may not turn out to be what is 'expected' and that's ok! I'm shocked at the level of discourse and trolling on other Mommy Boards I've checked out in the past. I know there are even more that suspect their kid is but are silent. There's room for everyone, whereever you are on the continuum and I'd like this to be a safe place to discuss resources and learn from one another. It's not to draw a line between types of kids, but to have an inclusive conversation of people/kids who are outliers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675269 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:52:17 +0000 MrsKoala 2675269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my son is advanced in terms of his verbal ability. Gifted.... not so sure about that. But he is only turning 3 in February so he's a bit young for us to even know. I will say that I was in a gifted program in school and it benefited me greatly not only academically but socially (my classmates are still my friends today). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675260 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:36:06 +0000 DesertDreams88 2675260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The book Nurtureshock has an awesome chapter on early gifted learners. I'd look into it if I were you. It has been a couple years since I read it, but it basically does not recommend early testing and it outlines things to look for in a gifted program. FWIW, I am a teacher who has taught gifted-cluster classes in grades 5 &amp; 8. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675246 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:24:04 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2675246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I was thinking the same thing! </p> <p>Maybe people with gifted kids are just more likely to click on this thread, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675240 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 12:17:20 +0000 yoursilverlining 2675240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's interesting that the majority of people think their children are gifted. No judgement, just interesting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675179 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:54:51 +0000 Mrs. Blue 2675179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think our boys are "bright," but whether they are gifted or not, who knows. I wonder a little bit about one of the twins. He's my kid that says things like, "I want to grow up and be a science teacher so I can teach kids about the atmospheres on the different planets because that's what makes the difference in their weather." He just thinks a little differently about some things, particularly science-related things. When I was teaching, I took a fairly extensive training on what it means to be a "gifted" child. I thought it was interesting that a truly "gifted" kid usually excels more in certain subjects but may not do well or only be average in others. I think there's a lot of confusion between a kid being a bright, smart kid and being gifted. In my three years teaching, I had one student out of 225 that I taught that I would say was truly gifted. In fourth grade, he would read the encyclopedias when he was done with his work. He had an almost photographic memory for scientific things he had read. He was incredibly brilliant in that area. He also didn't follow directions well because he usually had a different idea about how something should be approached or needed to know more about why we were doing something than just being willing to put down a "right" answer. He also really struggled with some social skills, which I don't think is entirely uncommon with kids that are extraordinarily gifted. </p> <p>That said, I think it depends on a kid's age whether I would "do anything about it" or not. For little ones, I think the best thing they can do is just have lots of opportunities to play, explore, and read. With the twins, because they love science stuff so much, we make sure we buy more books, toys, take outings, etc. about those things, but other than that we just let them do their thing. For kids that are older, particularly mid-elementary and up, I would want my kid to have an opportunity to do more higher level thinking activities if they were gifted in a certain area. What I absolutely wouldn't want is just putting a lot more pressure on my kid to perform at a much higher level than they are emotionally or socially ready for or for them to just end up with a lot more work/time spent on academic work that isn't beneficial to them developing critical thinking in that area. If any of my kids turn out to be truly gifted, I want them to have a chance to explore that and develop it, but I want them to feel like regular kids, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675158 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:27:39 +0000 Mamaof2 2675158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to add DS still goes to his same Public school - the gifted program pulls him out of class 2 times a week for extended learning opportunities </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted#post-2675156 Fri, 06 Jan 2017 10:24:51 +0000 honeybear 2675156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I think this discussion is a little bit at cross purposes, because I think your main question is not the one in the poll. I think what you're really looking for answers to is "what do you do with him/her?" Here's why: as a matter of substance, the label is not important and quite possibly harmful, because it’s what you do that matters. I resist labels because I think they present problems for the labeled child (a la Carol Dweck's commonsense theory on fixed and growth mindsets...) and the unlabeled ones (who in many cases give up way too soon even though they too are capable of high intellectual achievement). Also, I suppose it’s worth pointing out that you might not get the label you think you’re going to get, or you might not keep it, and I think it’s a bad idea to put a very young child in that position. </p> <p>I want to be clear that I do not advocate ignoring a child's abilities or not endeavoring to fully cultivate them. Entirely the opposite. I just don’t think that a label is at all useful to the substantive work of cultivating abilities. </p> <p>Think of it like this: You come home one day and your child is in the driveway with your police officer neighbor and his radar gun and your child is throwing ball after ball at 90mph. You might give your child a t-shirt that says "Major League" on it, or you could continue to help him practice and get better. But clearly you don't need to give him the t-shirt to help him cultivate his skills. </p> <p>I also think it is very possible to kill a child's gifts and interests. But "gifted" schools, particularly for young children, involve a terrific amount marketing designed to make parents feel good, and I'm not sure that such a place is any guarantee against squashing a child's gifts. You’d have to look at what the specific school is doing to make that determination. </p> <p>Like I've said repeatedly here, I think the main thing to do is to nurture your child's interests to the fullest extent possible. </p>