https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 14:34:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924187 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 21:37:09 +0000 ChitownRo 2924187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've appreciated reading all of your experiences and recommendations. </p> <p>Our schooling experience has been impacted by covid, so it's difficult to know what our local school could offer. But my DS7 was SO unhappy during remote 1st grade this winter (self harm threats, everything was just horrible). We eventually withdrew him entirely. Then when he went back in person this spring, he still resisted and every morning was a battle with school refusal. "I don't want to listen to the normal lessons. I don't care if they give me harder math sheets." He started seeing a therapist that specializes in gifted children. The therapist suggested private school (there are a few in our area that target gifted kids) vs grade acceleration. I wasn't thrilled with either of these options so we talked with our public school again. I definitely contributed to our struggles bc I didn't want to burden the teachers/staff given all of the challenges of covid. But hopefully once the kids are vaccinated this fall, they will do small groups and not enforce social distancing. I'm definitely still nervous about it and have big picture worries frequently.</p> <p>It feels like such a first world problem to complain about a gifted child, but he can be so exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. I do appreciate reading experiences of other families via online groups or IG accounts.</p> <p>To answer one direct question - @Mrs. Starfish: I like the FB group "raising poppies" for advice. Though it's often disconcerting bc most people don't get the support they need from their schools. There seem to be many families that homeschool in that group. I also follow "champion your gifted child" on IG and they have posts that resonate with me sometimes.</p> <p>One way we connect and stimulate him is definitely via games. Favorites include Settlers of Catan, Qwirkle, Ticket to Ride, Clue, rummikub (or rummy with cards), and lots of card games. Teaching him a few versions of solitaire was also a real win. I allow more screen time if he's playing apps with redeeming value. He's currently obsessed with Wordscapes (sort of like Boggle).</p> <p>Wishing you and your girls all of the best. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924184 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 13:37:23 +0000 Chuckles 2924184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Thanks! I hope so. First grade felt like that to me here - he seemed to be doing the same thing literally the entire year. At least this past year they learned about subtraction with regrouping. And certainly benefit of the doubt to his teacher since his class was remote the whole year, but once he clearly knew how to do it, there was nothing else offered. They just kept practicing the same thing over and over. Hopefully next year will be better!<br /> @Mrs. Starfish: I will have to think of some games. We do a lot of talking about things like division and multiplication just in the context of everyday stuff. I don't know if you have something like this where you are, but there is a summer camp called Galileo that is all science based that DS did a couple summers ago. I think it's national. And we also have a bunch of after school and summer options from a gifted center that's run by Northwestern University, though we haven't pursued that yet.<br /> @Baby Boy Mom: oh man, we have a few progressive, project-based learning schools here that I really wish DS could go to, but private school is way outside our budget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924183 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 11:50:23 +0000 periwinklebee 2924183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: I'm in New England and it is huge here, also know a ton of people in California who did it but no idea if it's a thing in other parts of the U.S. Though I think now in the covid era there are probably far more fully virtual options available. When I first heard about it, the name just sounded weird, but I think they do an amazing job with the curriculum.</p> <p>@Baby Boy Mom: My mom used to have her own small Montessori preschool. We've inherited her materials, and I absolutely love it. Some are falling apart at this point but I'm amazed how well my older son learns from them. If we had a good Montessori elementary nearby, I would be super tempted... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924182 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 10:59:24 +0000 ilovepie 2924182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a gifted kid, but my youngest is almost the same age as your two. He's able to play games way above his age level just because we play games all the time. Some favorites (closer to his age) are Sleeping Queens, Trash Pandas, Ticket to Ride (first Journey), and the Junior Catan.</p> <p> We also just got Dino Math Tracks and Quixx to try for this year with his 7 year old brother. But they both also play Clank!, Quirkle, Azul and other adult games with us all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924181 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 09:43:05 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2924181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read all the responses and I'm in a bit of a rush but here's my experience in short. Child was in a public school gifted program in a dedicated gifted class. This was a disaster....he ended up still bored. Would get extra worksheets for finishing early. It may be a bit harsh but I felt like it was crushing his spirit and creativity. So we ended up moving to a Montessori/project based learning school. This was amazing! The nature of the school is that each kid is essentially doing their own thing. So he was able to really focus on whatever was most interesting at the moment with guidance of teachers. Even better is that there is no comparison between kids because everyone is working separately. Anyway I highly recommend going this path! (This past year we did unschooling which was amazing in its own way, but obviously requires a parent at home and available). Let me know if you have any more specific questions. :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924180 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 09:10:12 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2924180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Thanks for the comments. Russian math, whoa!! I did not know that was even a thing to look up as an extracurricular!</p> <p>@agold: I'll definitely check out Kumon if we don't get support from the school. That was something that my husband had also thought of, so it's sounding like a legit option. And I totally agree - the thought of splitting them between schools just seems like a bad move for many reasons. </p> <p>@Chuckles: Thanks so much! The psychologist who did the testing also suggested at-home games and summer programs. Any games you've really loved? A lot of his suggestions were for older kids, although he suggested UNO as maybe being worth a shot for this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924179 Fri, 25 Jun 2021 07:52:03 +0000 bhbee 2924179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: I don’t know if your curriculum is at all similar but second grade math is known here for being the least challenging! It finally gets a bit better in third here. I was so disappointed in second grade in general … it felt like a catchup bridge between learning basics and moving into older kid learning. Just in case that gives you any hope that it will improve! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924178 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 22:20:32 +0000 Chuckles 2924178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: agreed with all of this! We love our public school district for a lot of reasons, but the quality of differentiation really depends on the teacher and varies from year to year. DS needs extra support in writing but is advanced in math, and I've been somewhat disappointed in the level of support in writing and definitely disappointed in the lack of challenge that he's received in math (he just finished second grade). For the math, we try to supplement at home with things like math games (just whatever he likes/catches his interest) and some extra summer camp type activities in STEM areas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924177 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 15:58:56 +0000 agold 2924177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you have a Kumon academy place near you? There is one near me and its a reading and math enhancement program. So, you could take your kid after school to do some more learning. That is probably what I would do. Otherwise, the public schools near me have the gifted kid program that you test into around 3rd grade. I was in that. I agree with what someone said above that some private schools might not be equipped for gifted kids. I know there is a private school called Fairmont that may be nationwide and that is definitely a smart kid school. I probably wouldn't split up two sisters and send them to two different schools. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924173 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 12:48:42 +0000 periwinklebee 2924173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids aren't elementary age yet, but this is something I worry a lot about. Not so much about gifted specifically (I work in education and am not a fan of the label, as I feel like it is so narrow in a world where kids are talented in so many ways), but just more in terms of both challenging kids in areas where they are excelling and supporting a learning style that works for them, which is not the same for every kid. </p> <p>In our area at least, from everything I've heard private schools tend to be better at this. But they are also super pricey and tend to have insanely long wait lists if you don't apply for pre-K, since the pre-K kids will take up most of the K slots and so forth (all the more now since covid was a bit of a train wreck). We're at the point of needing to decide on pre-K for our oldest, who is also reading already at a pretty young age, and I think are leaning towards going the public route despite concerns of it not being very individualized, just because of the huge cost, extra commute, etc involved in private schools. One thing that a lot of families we know do is to enroll in supplemental after school programs (Russian math especially, but there are others...) which are a lot cheaper than private school but can still provide a great accelerated experience (albeit at the cost of imposing even more structured learning time). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924172 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 12:39:03 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2924172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Thank you so much! I'd never heard of AAP and so that's definitely something I'll look into. We currently have them in private school and I had hoped this meant more personalized attention and resources for kids like this. Before jumping to conclusions based on the grapevine-like chatter I've had with other parents, I need to have the conversation with the school. I really appreciate your perspective that there's nothing wrong with asking for the conversation - for some reason, I feel like an annoying parent for coming to them with this while they're dealing with post-covid teacher losses, etc. Argh, I need to get over my hesitation... Thanks again!!</p> <p>@Corduroy: This is such helpful perspective, thank you so much. It's so nice to hear from someone who has experience like this. I think I was like you - "bright" - and I never qualified for gifted when I was a child. I think that definitely made me feel some shame as a child because a lot of my friends were, and I really am so sensitive to my "bright" child's feelings as a result. This is hard. </p> <p>@bhbee: Holy crap, this is such helpful information. I'm taking so many notes here! I'm racking my brain to think of anyone local here who may be better plugged in to the gifted scene in Lexington - thanks for recommending that. I think you're totally right that that would be most helpful. Really, thank you, thank you! </p> <p>@HappyBaker: Thank you for so much info! Your comments about your daughter's first grade teacher is EXACTLY what I'm worried about with the kinder teacher that I think they may put my daughter with. We're in a small private school with only two classes per grade at this age, and given that we insist on the girls being in separate classes (especially important now!) we know that at least one of the girls will be placed with an older teacher who I've heard is set in her ways and maybe burnt out. I'm thinking of requesting that our "bright", not "gifted" child be placed with that teacher as that child would likely really benefit from a traditional classroom/teacher. Regardless, thank you for assuring me it's totally appropriate to be in touch with the school about this ahead of time. As I mentioned in another comment, I feel some guilt about approaching them but I just need to get over that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924169 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:27:39 +0000 HappyBaker 2924169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man, hugs to you as dealing with this with two kids in the same grade can not be easy! You've gotten great advice so far, and I'm jealous of those of you that have state legislated rules about this as my own state does not!</p> <p>My DD who is going into 3rd grade was similarly an early reader and very smart. We were very underwhelmed by her experience in our public school. In kindergarten she had an amazing teacher who was able to differentiate and took the time to give DD extra / harder things to do to keep her engaged. In first grade she had a teacher who was totally burnt out and actually told us that DD could just "sit on the rug and wait for 2nd grade" because she knew she would be bored with what they were covering in 1st grade and would not take the time to help keep her engaged. We tried meeting with the principal because we were thinking of switching teachers / getting some support from them, but they were totally unhelpful. DD was coming home crying because she hated school since she was so bored. We ended up moving her to a private montessori school in the middle of 1st grade. Montessori has been the perfect fit for her, as it's a mixed age classroom of 1st - 3rd graders and they work at their own level in each subject. We are planning to try our public school in 4th grade again as my hope is that by then things have evened out - early elementary is all about learning to read, learning math while by 4th grade everyone should be reading / writing etc. </p> <p>My advice would be (which it sounds like you have already started) to get in communication with administration early - they might be able to place her with a K teacher who is better at working to kids' individual levels. And then once she starts also have early and frequent communication with her teacher about what is working / not working. In K, things that helped DD were that her teacher would give her a longer / chapter book to read, and then meet with her individually about it, or she'd give her special projects like to read a bunch of books on one topic and then write a few sentences about it. In 1st grade before she switched schools we ended up doing a bunch of stuff at home just because she really wanted to "use her brain" (her words ha). </p> <p>Also, we send DD to the private school but have opted to send DS to our public school. He is a very different type of learner and I don't know that her school would be a good fit for him. We're going to re-assess moving to a different school district after next year once we see how his experience is (basically if they similarly are bad at meeting his needs which are totally different than his sister's than I don't have confidence in them with ANY of my kids, and would rather move to a better district elsewhere that can instead of paying for 3 kids in private schools)</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924168 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:13:34 +0000 bhbee 2924168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ETA my oldest is 9 so this is a perspective a few years into school!</p> <p>I would say you definitely should learn more about what your public district offers (or nearby if you would consider moving). It varies SO much and some are great and some are not. It’s worth looking at public because they often have to offer gifted services and the rules will be defined by your state I believe. Do they have to offer clustering in classrooms? Do they have true gifted magnets? What special programs do they offer? Do they have to offer subject and grade acceleration? Those things are legislated here in TX. I learned so much from a friend who heads our local gifted parents association! It’s based on the district but not truly affiliated so I believe private parents could join also. You really need some mentors who understand the local situation. </p> <p>I think on the whole, private schools have less of a spectrum of abilities to cater to since they often don’t have many disadvantaged students. So they can be more advanced on average - but they may also have less ability to really push the top kids because they’re smaller. My husband went to a private school that sends a fair number of kids to Ivies and such and felt he was challenged enough there. So maybe even looking at where your school’s graduates go would be helpful and what classes are they offering at upper levels?</p> <p>My kids go to public school, my oldest tested into the top gifted program. She has always been way ahead. Honestly the regular gifted programs have been pretty meh so far. They’re supposed to be grouped and get advanced work replacement but it hasn’t happened yet much at all (maybe post covid will be better). The weekly pullout can be fun for them but it’s not amazing or anything. I would rate our district as pretty average and you often see better programs the more affluent the district is. </p> <p>In our district, once they’re designated gifted (they take the cogat to determine that, pretty common) they are eligible to subject or full grade accelerate. We just had her take the test to subject accelerate in math only (so go to the next grade class for math) and waiting for results. Because she made the top tier of about 20 kids her age in our large district, she was invited to a new program the district is starting where these 20 kids have a protected class at a magnet and do 4th/5th in one year and get to do things you can only do with all gifted students. But we actually ended up declining and opting only for subject acceleration. We didn’t feel a grade skip or moving schools would be good for her socially so we’re hoping the math skip will help enough. It’s the subject where there’s the least ability to enrich in the classroom. So much is dependent on individual teachers too and so every year can be different. Once she gets to JH in a few years they have gifted protected sections for major subjects and I expect that to help. Again this could be equivalent to what a private school offers - just depends on the school. </p> <p>There is a huge social component to any choices you make for gifted kids - if you send them to a special school, or skip a grade, or similar - and I can only imagine it magnified for twins so I really feel for you! We chose to have her stay with her local friends. But she’s also a kid who can live in her own head when she’s bored and isn’t likely to act out at school. So it’s very individual to your child’s personality and how much “otherness” you are ok with. The research shows that acceleration (including full grade) is usually very successful and positive. You can read a lot about that online if you look into that path. </p> <p>Ok that was a lot of rambling! If I can answer something else let me know - the big key is finding people to learn the systems from :happy: And of course you can look into lots of ways to accelerate at home to match their interests - a local gifted group would probably be helpful in identifying enrichment classes and events and such as well. But I let my daughter lead on all of that and just do what sparks her interest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924167 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 10:12:48 +0000 Corduroy 2924167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: I think you're off to a good start by being considerate about both children.</p> <p>I don't have any experience as a parent but my brother, who was one grade ahead of me in school, was/is gifted and I'm pretty sure I was just bright (although I often don't feel that). </p> <p>My parents pulled my brother out of parochial school after 1st grade do to lack of resources for him. I think he was pretty much invited to leave. My mom found a public gifted magnet school. He started attending in 2nd and I started attending the next year (also 2nd). </p> <p>I knew I wasn't as academically talented as my brother and I discovered pretty early on that siblings got extra admission points so I felt like I wasn't good enough for the school on my own merit. That was hard to wrestle with even though I did very well at the school and never struggled to keep up. </p> <p>Looking back on my experiences overall it was very positive. I wish there was less emphasis/pressure/expectation that giftedness predicted future success or happiness. I hope the gifted community understands that better now. </p> <p>I'm struggling with my rising 1st grader outperforming my rising 3rd grader. I'm hoping someone has more specific resources about siblings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924166 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 09:23:20 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2924166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have zero experience in this, so take this with a grain of salt. I have heard from a number of folks in the community I'm in that they typically opt for private school for kids who are gifted. Unless they're really well resourced, public schools typically have a hard time meeting kids where they're at (on both sides of the abilities spectrum). My daughter isn't gifted (I don't think) but is above grade level in reading and math, and we've seen her teachers give her some extra challenging work to the extent they're able and our school does divide kids into learning groups by level so that they can give kids appropriate level work, but there's only so much they can do. We try to give my daughter whatever reading material she wants to supplement what they're doing in school, and build in math challenges during play (if she asks for it, we're definitely not pushy on this). She'll be in advanced placement next year (3rd grade) and we'll keep monitoring it. </p> <p>I don't think it's a misstep in any way to talk to your school administration and ask how they might meet your daughter's needs. I might recommend talking with an AAP (advanced placement) specialist at the school as well, they have good insight into this stuff typically. You might have magnet schools in your district - I know some do, where they pull gifted kids out into their own cohorts. The school administration and AAP teachers would know whether that exists. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gifted-child-resources-and-kinder-advice#post-2924165 Thu, 24 Jun 2021 08:41:45 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2924165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all - I feel a bit lost and Hellobee has always been my favorite parenting resource... Have any of you been down the path of raising a gifted child? If so, do you have any preferred resources? Facebook groups, books, websites, blogs?</p> <p>As many of you know, we have two girls the same age. One started reading independently around her 4th birthday and the reading took off so fast that we got quickly overwhelmed. We spoke to her PK-4 teacher about it and didn't get much from that. At the same time, the confidence level of our other girl was getting absolutely crushed as she wasn't reading at the same level as her sister.</p> <p>As a result, we opted to have both girls tested (WPPSI-IV). The results just came back, and the daughter who is reading is officially "gifted" while the other is "bright". </p> <p>The school that we had the girls in for preschool is the same that we will be sending for kinder (and this school goes all the way up to 12th grade). Talking to other parents at this school (and the PK-4 teacher last year), it doesn't sound like they do much for gifted children. We are planning to send the test results on to the head of school to better understand what is available and ask for a conversation, but I really don't want to mis-step in any way. </p> <p>Any advice? I don't know what I'm doing, and we're already noticing distracted/bored behavior from our gifted child and definitely feel this needs to be addressed before it spirals... I also have a lot of anxiety and worry about navigating my other child's confidence as all this progresses. </p>