https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 18:18:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula/page/2#post-1356893 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 14:06:35 +0000 raintreebee 1356893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So frustrating. When I was doing the doula search, I had four recommendations but only one responded to my calls and emails! One of the non-responders was my yoga teacher, who I quit seeing after that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula/page/2#post-1356828 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:40:27 +0000 lilyann 1356828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Ugh!! I'm so sorry! What a pain! You would think they would want your business :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula/page/2#post-1356823 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:38:48 +0000 spaniellove 1356823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyann: The one who didn't respond is actually the one who my doctor recommended...I even mentioned that to her! :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1356820 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:37:55 +0000 lilyann 1356820@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I'm so sorry it isn't working out :sad: I found my doula through a FB group of moms. She came highly recommended by them and actually by my doctor! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1356815 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:36:57 +0000 spaniellove 1356815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: My MIL lives nearby but I know she's not going to help; she just keeps saying to get a baby nurse. My stepmom (who raised me) isn't going to come out to see the baby at all. It frustrates me to no end that I'm going to have to do this with no help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1356806 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:34:57 +0000 LovelyPlum 1356806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: boooooo. You don't need that crap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1356784 Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:27:09 +0000 spaniellove 1356784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So...I've tried again with postpartum doulas...and yeah, I give up. One woman totally blew me off by saying she'd call and then when I contacted her to ask what happened, she said she emailed me but there was no email. Then when she said she was pregnant and due in the spring and would give me someone else's name that was the last I heard. Another doula just never responded. </p> <p>I completely give up with doulas at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1329415 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 20:15:48 +0000 HolisticMama 1329415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh boo. I'm sorry that happened. I've considered being a doula someday, because I'm so incredibly interested in labor and birth.<br /> You definitely shouldn't have that type of experience with your doula. </p> <p>You don't you want to look into possibly getting another doula? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1329406 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 20:13:04 +0000 raintreebee 1329406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: wise decision </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1329159 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 18:27:41 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1329159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow definitely doesn't sound like she was providing you with the support you needed or was making your life any easier by being around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1329148 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 18:21:21 +0000 spaniellove 1329148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: Yes, she was understanding and kind. I didn't say anything negative to her or about her when I contacted her. There were other potential clients who were interested in the same general due date, so she'll fill the spot quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1329017 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 17:12:47 +0000 Mrs tartan 1329017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: did she get back to you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327641 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 10:01:49 +0000 maybebaby 1327641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know you already broke things off, but just wanted to offer my story. We had similar issues with our doula. I felt like she was so uncommunicative and it got to the point when we feltike we didn't trust her! I was so upset. We decided to talk to her about how we felt and it totally turned things around. She was integral to our birth experience (pitocin induced med free birth) and we were so glad we gave her a second chance. It sounds like you have a great hospital who will be supportive of your goals! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327629 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:55:39 +0000 septca 1327629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Great. That helps a lot, actually. I gave birth in a hospital-based MW practice and *really* liked having a doula because it was a really busy night at the hospital so my MW was not with me for most of the time. It was nice to have someone else there to give massage, etc. and to give my husband a break. But I had a horrendously long labor and was adamant that I would not get an epidural, so I think a doula was more key than it would have been in other situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327553 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:26:06 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 1327553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! Just want to say I think you did the RIGHT thing and exactly what I would have done. It's never good to ignore those instincts that tell you something is not working. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327542 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:22:02 +0000 avivoca 1327542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: FWIW, I birthed med-free in a hospital without a doula. If that is how you are leaning, it's completely doable and very empowering! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327515 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:12:43 +0000 spaniellove 1327515@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: I'm planning a med-free birth at a hospital, but am becoming more open to the possibility of an epidural after having a lot of complications during pregnancy. Fortunately my OB is into using as few interventions as possible and supporting women who want to birth naturally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327489 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:03:19 +0000 LuLu Mom 1327489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Whoops just read your response. Good for you! I'm glad you stood up for yourself! I wouldn't let this experience have a negative outlook on everything. However, if you think you can do it on your own with the support of yoru DH go for it! I think that's something incredible to share together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327488 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:03:06 +0000 septca 1327488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: are you planning med-free birth? With a MW? At a hospital or birthing center? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327484 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 09:00:09 +0000 spaniellove 1327484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs tartan: It might depend on where you live, but the doulas I looked at ranged from around $700 to $1100. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327456 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:46:14 +0000 Mrs tartan 1327456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I'm super interested to see what she says when you stopped the payment. I definitely would have done the same. Just out of interest as I've never even considered a doula, are they expensive? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327449 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:42:08 +0000 Dandelion 1327449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, yeah, I would have done the same thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327445 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:37:32 +0000 spaniellove 1327445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I put a stop payment on the check and wrote her a brief email saying we wouldn't be working together. We were going to have a separate postpartum doula because my family lives so far away and DH works long hours, but after this experience I don't even want to take that risk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327427 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 08:24:50 +0000 brady80 1327427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would definitely stop the payment. I think I would have been done with her when she didn't write down appointments. They are supposed to reduce stress, not contribute to it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327303 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 06:03:15 +0000 MadamBabyFever 1327303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds terrible, definitely not something you should have to deal with right now. I'd say stop the payment and get rid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327255 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:59:06 +0000 pregnantbee 1327255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I would have bailed, too. I promise that there are doulas out there who are professional and do actively support you during pregnancy, birth, and post-partum. Mine was. Sorry your experience with this one has been less than amazing. As others said, take a week off then if possible regroup and look for another.</p> <p>ETA: There should definitely be a formal contract that outlines what is expected of both you and her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327227 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:30:21 +0000 indi 1327227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @ALV91711:. Stop that payment ASAP, and then let her know that it's not working out and that the check is void (just so she's aware and not embarrassed at the bank or whatever). </p> <p>I hope you can find a good, relaxing, and helpful doula! Ours is great, I think you just found a really bad apple. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327220 Wed, 08 Jan 2014 01:17:30 +0000 ALV91711 1327220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would let her know it isn't working and put a stop payment on the cheque. </p> <p>I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327149 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 23:12:41 +0000 spaniellove 1327149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: He is all for doing it and thinks otherwise it would be a gift of several hundred dollars to her. :sad: </p> <p>@bhbee: Definitely, I need to at least tell her it isn't going to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/giving-up-on-our-doula#post-1327143 Tue, 07 Jan 2014 23:08:48 +0000 bhbee 1327143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I think it's fair to cancel the check but I'd also send her an email letting her know it's not working for you and that's what you plan to do.</p> <p>It sounds very unprofessional all around . . . our awesome doula was pretty much the opposite of all these things. And we definitely signed a contract. Just to say - I understand why you would give up - but there are awesome ones out there too. Maybe once you have a little space from this? Good luck!! </p>