https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 02:57:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2705139 Thu, 02 Mar 2017 14:29:32 +0000 Pumuckl 2705139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just took them and had them either sleep in the stroller or we brought the travel crib. Luckily our kids were never difficult to transfer and they sleep well on car rides. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2705069 Thu, 02 Mar 2017 13:10:48 +0000 Goldengirl 2705069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@delight: He's not really into being carried, he can't sleep if there's all that light/action going on. I think we will just skip the second night and sleep at my parents' for the first! We leave him with my parents all the time, just unfortunately they can't take him this time. I do get anxious when I'm away from him, but it's so much better for me and my husband in the end to have a night off... and sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2705000 Thu, 02 Mar 2017 11:17:47 +0000 delight 2705000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our babes are the same age and at this point I would just bring the pack and play and put him to sleep there, or skip it. I wouldn't be able to have someone put him to bed right now other than myself. We tried last night because I went out for dinner with friends but neither my DH or my MIL who helped out could get him down. It's hard at this age. I was never able to leave DD and expect someone else to put her to bed until 7 months and even then only with family. Could you bring a carrier maybe and wear him for a few hours around bedtime? I do that sometimes when we are at our parents for dinner. I have to eat standing up but then I don't miss out on events. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704986 Thu, 02 Mar 2017 10:58:59 +0000 JenGirl 2704986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’ve had great success taking our travel crib and just putting our son to bed wherever we are. Our friends had an Oscar party on Sunday and we all went over ad let him play and eat with everyone until bedtime and then I put him to bed in his travel crib set up in their bedroom. I usually take his white noise and monitor and we can continue with the party. When we have to move him out to the car he sometimes wakes, but usually falls right back asleep once we start driving. We’ve been doing this since he was little, so he’s pretty used to it and does well with it. Some kids wouldn’t do as well, but I think if you start them young, it’s easier for them to be adaptable to situations like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704398 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 12:02:49 +0000 Goldengirl 2704398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! Glad to know I'm not crazy for worry about this :) Sleeping at grandparents is an option, we do that all the time. I was a bit concerned about noise with so many people there, but maybe we'll just have to try that for the one night, and then skip the second night. Kind of stinks but I guess it's just one of the many adjustments that comes with being a new parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704364 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 11:16:32 +0000 sauerkraut 2704364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's up to you to decide what's important. Sleeping over or having family adjust the timing to accommodate sound great. For infrequent things like important family holidays, I've just accepted that the schedule might get screwed up and baby might not get the best sleep that night and brought her with. For me, being with family outweighed one or two nights of non-ideal sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704351 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:56:40 +0000 ShootingStar 2704351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's with my family I have my mom tailor the holiday meal times to fit my kids' schedules. If it's with my in-laws we show up when we can (usually after nap) and we leave when we need to (usually around 7). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704300 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:18:38 +0000 MrsADS 2704300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 18 months so older, but it's the same as when he was younger. He has an early bedtime and does not handle being overtired well. I don't take him out to stuff at night unless we are back by bedtime, period. It is not worth it, to us. He's our only so we don't have to worry about another child (yet), but if it was something really important, we would have 1 parent go and 1 parent stay with him. </p> <p>We had this issue over Christmas at my in-laws, Christmas Eve church started at 7pm central, which is 8pm eastern (his bedtime is 7pm eastern). I grudgingly agreed to take him and it was a DISASTER. 15 minutes in I left early and took him back because he was laying on the floor and screaming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704297 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:15:58 +0000 winniebee 2704297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It honestly just depends what it is. If it's a gathering at my parents' house or in laws house for a holiday, I would likely stay over that night and put the baby to sleep there at the normal time to participate. If it is somewhere else, I usually try to negotiate an earlier time for the event so that we can be home reasonably on time (I realize with Passover, this may not be possible though). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704289 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 10:13:04 +0000 Anagram 2704289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you just stay over for the night at your parents' or inlaw's house? We are pretty into our kids' set bed times, but we also often travel to see our families and since we are staying overnight we just put the kids to sleep and go on hanging out with our families with a monitor downstairs with us.</p> <p>When we only had 1 kid we did fly to go see all our old friends in our old state and a few times we put LO1 to sleep at the friends house and then transferred her (by car) back to where we were staying. She was not the type to keep sleeping through transfers, so we did have to deal with her waking up and having to put her back down around 11:30 pm, but it was worth it for us in that case because we so rarely see our old friends anymore (it's not been 2 years since we've been back--now, with 2 kids it's impossible),. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704267 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 09:52:00 +0000 sapphire 2704267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We either 1) skip events 2) one of us goes and other stays home with LO. Our family tends to have events earlier now. It's a season - their bedtimes are only this early for so long. For us, it just hasn't been worth having an overtired LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704180 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 00:56:29 +0000 gingerbebe 2704180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We flew for Christmas when DS1 was 3 months old and we were militant about his schedule bc my son was/is a hot mess if he's off it. He was doing a 6pm catnap at that age with a 730pm bedtime and a 10pm dreamfeed. We packed our white noise machine and drove our PNP to every relative's house because his waketimes were just over an hour. We said we wouldn't do dinner unless it was at 5pm and left at 6pm. </p> <p>We basically bathed and had our son in PJs before any dinner time gathering and let him catnap in the car or it a room while nursing at 6pm for 30 mins. Then he could visit until 730pm which by then he was both tired and overstimulated and cranky so no one was bothered when we said he had to go to sleep. We'd put him down in a spare room (or bathroom or closet) in the PNP with his Dohm on and then make sure to be home (or my MILs house where we were staying) by 10pm when we would have his dreamfeed. I might have to rock and hold him more but otherwise his schedule stayed the same. </p> <p>I would probably opt to do just one of the dinners as opposed to both.</p> <p>DS2 is a way more laid back baby so it was a lot easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704167 Wed, 01 Mar 2017 00:05:49 +0000 shellio 2704167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We never thought we would be "those" parents but we skipped evening activities with an infant. Even holidays and special events - often one of us will go but my kids did great with an early bedtime so we went with that and tried not to rock the boat. Mine also didn't just fall asleep anywhere so putting them down (either for naps or bed) in other places usually didn't work. And once they got overtired, it wasn't fun for any of us anyway. It has gotten better to where we will occasionally take the older ones to activities requiring them to have later bedtimes but honestly most of the time it doesn't feel like it is worth it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704162 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 23:44:50 +0000 thepicklemonster 2704162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 5 month old and I'm strict with his bedtime. I've already used babysitters for various nights out because we don't have family in town and it's important to me that DH and I go out sometimes. But holidays would be a different story because to me the whole point of holidays is spending time with family and following traditions. So, in your precise scenario, I would not want to go to a seder without baby. Can you, DH and DS sleep over at your parents/in laws' house (wherever seder will be)? That way you can see everyone, celebrate the holiday, leave the table briefly to put him to bed and return to dinner. I would also only go one night, not both.</p> <p>I don't have a lot of family nearby, as I mentioned, but I think a lot of people deal with this problem by offering to host these events themselves (and have others bring food and help clean etc) so the kids can go to bed in the middle and not screw up their schedule. </p> <p>This is making me realize I don't have Passover plans... guess I should follow my own advice and host a seder! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704154 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 23:12:03 +0000 MrsSRS 2704154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the baby. My son had no flexibility, so we just didn't go until he was two. My daughter was more flexible so we could go to things and leave early. It sucks but it only lasts a year or two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704143 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:51:45 +0000 agold 2704143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 6 month old and have yet to leave in the evening. One time my husband and I went to dinner at 430 pm for an hour! That's it. I have tons of family around, too. Its tough. I don't want to mess up her bed time routine. I can't believe I became this person!! As for family celebrations, I have gone and brought baby. I nurse her as usual and end up having her sleep in her car seat. We usually leave shortly after she falls asleep. I keep reminding myself that this is not forever and I actually really still am enjoying my nights in with my baby girl. I just got an invitation to an engagement party and was like "yep, not going!" ugh. I just still can't leave my baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704141 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:46:48 +0000 LemonJack 2704141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so hard with little ones! What you do totally depends on your LO's personality. Our LO would not have gone to sleep at any sort of family gathering because she wouldn't have wanted to miss a thing. On the flip side, other kids can fall asleep anywhere. Depending upon how close you live to family, you could always play it by ear and see how LO is doing, then make a game time decision. If LO needs to go home, you could all go, or one of you could go, depending upon what you are comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704139 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:46:10 +0000 SweetiePie 2704139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, this happens with us, usually with my inlaws for the Jewish holidays.<br /> Basically one of two things happens:<br /> 1) We skip it (LO and I). Because same as yours, he really doesn't do well with being overtired and its just too much stress for DH &amp; I to deal with it. We live 1.5 hours away and traffic is usually worse with holidays. So DH will go without us.<br /> 2) More often, my ILs have just learned to deal with the fact that we need to do things earlier to accommodate LO. Granted their family is small and LO is the only grandchild so its pretty easy to do. But we just said "If you want us to come for dinner with LO, dinner is at 4pm." Its not traditional but its the only option if they want him to attend. And of course they always want him to attend. So we go right after his nap, visit for an hour, have dinner, and usually peace out while everyone else is starting dessert so we can get home by bedtime (which is still strictly 7/7:30 MAX).</p> <p>I'm insane about his schedule and sleep, so I just don't care what they think. If they want to make it work then great. If they don't, then great. Either way, we're keeping our schedule. They've become pretty good about understanding that.</p> <p>ETA: Also, his first few months - we just skipped everything. Can't remember how old your LO is, but ours was born early Sept...so height of High Holiday season. We just didn't go to any of the celebrations and the first one was Thanksgiving...and that was a mistake. He was 2.5-ish months and it was too much stimulation and he was a screaming red-faced disaster the whole time. If there is ever another LO, my DH and toddler/big kid will go without me and the baby for at least 6 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704138 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:45:42 +0000 ElbieKay 2704138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was 6 weeks old at his first Passover. I refused to go to my mom's house so that she could play pass the not-yet-fully-vaccinated baby. Iirc I think we may have compromised by meeting at a restaurant 10 minutes from my house.</p> <p>The following year I just told my mom that we could not arrive til 5ish (after work), and we had to be in the car by like 8 or 9 because of my son's bedtime. This was two years ago so I forget the precise timing. We are not that religious so we don't do the full three hour Seder. Therefore the timing can be more flexible.</p> <p>You basically have the following choices:</p> <p>1. Go for the entire Seder with your family, and figure out a way to put your child to sleep while you are there.<br /> 2. Ask your extended family to shift the timing so it works better for your nuclear family.<br /> 3. Only attend part of the Seder based on the timing that works best for you.<br /> 4. Split up your family so that someone (or a sitter) stays home with your child.<br /> 5. Skip it this year.</p> <p>Note that option 4 does not appeal to me personally because I think of Passover as a family event, and my nuclear family is my most important family. So I would rather stay home with my nuclear family than split up that unit for a holiday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704136 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:42:34 +0000 travellingbee 2704136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With very very little ones we brought the pack n play and let them sleep where we were. I knew I could always nurse them back to sleep when we transitioned. When they got older, and sleep was trickier, we've just had to not attend or leave early. It's happened quite a few times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704132 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:30:06 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2704132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Coming and going is the thing of the past with a little one in tow! We have declined events that would disrupt LO's sleep too much. If it's really important to you that you attend I would try keeping LO's routine in your family members home. I'm sure a bedroom will be free while the celebration is going on. You may have to modify the space a bit for it to work for a few hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704130 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:27:25 +0000 KT326 2704130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We would just go and deal with it. But I've also had pretty laid back babies that can sleep anywhere, usually in the ergo. My older son is almost five and I still haven't left him with a babysitter that hasn't been family or a very close friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704127 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:24:38 +0000 Anya 2704127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a non-family babysitter yet either- when things like this come up my husband and I trade off. It's not ideal, but would you be able to attend one seder and have your spouse attend the other? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-out-in-evening-when-you-have-an-infant#post-2704123 Tue, 28 Feb 2017 22:00:21 +0000 Goldengirl 2704123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yet another "I never thought about these things before I had a kid" conundrum that has suddenly come up! Next month, it's a Jewish holiday (Passover) which involves 2 nights of big dinners with family. It just kind of hit me that I'm not sure how I can go now that I have LO. We're finally getting into the swing of things with bedtime (sort of) and he's a total disaster if he gets overtired. I don't want to mess with his nighttime sleep! Normally, I would leave LO with grandparents if I had an evening obligation, but this is the first thing that's come up that's a family event... so of course, grandparents will be there (and hosting one night). I had just assumed/imagined in my head that LO would be there, but now I realize that doesn't really make any sense since dinner would be happening around his bedtime.</p> <p>Has anyone ever run into something like this? How do you ever do things in the evenings with a baby? At what point did you leave baby with a babysitter who wasn't family? Not sure we're at that point... and honestly don't even know who that person would be! </p>