https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 16:21:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation/page/2#post-2748692 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 12:27:07 +0000 bushelandapeck 2748692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: exactly! I think that's totally what should have happened but most people I've talked with don't know how to ask non leading questions. We do a lot of psycho ed with providers about this very issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation/page/2#post-2748690 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 12:20:38 +0000 travellingbee 2748690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bushelandapeck: in our training, we had to watch videos of teachers asking open ended questions like, "Tell me about what you wrote." If the child was like, oh it's nothing or I don't want to talk about it or seemed otherwise worried, then you'd report it. But if they automatically responded something like, oh yeah, so my daddy and I play checkers and he always wins! I hate that! Then you'd know it was a misunderstanding.<br /> You wouldn't ask them, "Does your dad hit you?" And set them up to have to cover up for their dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation/page/2#post-2748686 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 11:35:22 +0000 honeybear 2748686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: I think we're on the same page. If you have a hunch that something is wrong, then you have a reason to think that, probably based on some pattern of behavior or speech that seems "off," right? That's the type of thinking people are expected to do before making a report about an isolated incident that is not clearly and immediately endangering a child. Therefore, a report based on your gut feeling developed as a result of interactions with a child or family would be a reasonable report. </p> <p>What is not reasonable is to make a report based solely on a single sentence that a 7 year-old wrote about being beaten by Daddy when one does not have any other sense that something is wrong or any indication that physical beating and abuse is what the child meant. </p> <p>The job of CPS is to investigate and see if there is evidence of abuse or neglect and then to act if there is a problem. They aren't the only people who should exercise reason. Anyone who makes a report has to make a judgment call first, and what I am attempting to point out is that when people are making those judgment calls, they need to use reason and common sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation/page/2#post-2748683 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 11:22:19 +0000 bushelandapeck 2748683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebug: I agree. I am a SW who does child protection consultation in a large pediatric hospital. The mandate is "reasonable suspicion" here. I agree that the teacher or other school staff could have asked that child for clarification on what he had written before reporting it, but if he hadn't said anything else then I think she did the right thing with the limited information she had. I've seen it go both ways but the most upsetting is when you see a child come to the hospital with a serious injury and people come forward to say they had concerns but not "proof" so they hadn't reported before. It happens more than you think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748681 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 11:05:26 +0000 looch 2748681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am curious, in the situation where the child wrote about her dad beating her, wouldn't someone look at the child and determine if there were bruises and marks before calling? My husband and son play cards almost every night in an effort to help him with his coping in both winning and losing and I could totally see my son writing that in his daily journal. </p> <p>My son's school has a psychologist on staff and I am thinking that if that was written by my son in his journal, the teacher would alert the psychologist, who would question my son. The nurse might examine him and then they'd make a determination if pressing on was worth it...does this not happen? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748679 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 11:02:04 +0000 littlebug 2748679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: Mm, yes and no to this statement "The reason for CPS is NOT “so that teachers and nurses and everyone else don’t have to make their own judgment call.” I'm a Social Worker, so I am a mandated reporter. And while I agree that the reports should be reasonable, sometimes a gut feeling that something is off is reason enough. I've called plenty of CPS reports (and Adult Protective Service reports) based on a hunch. My job, and the job of all mandated reporters, is solely to report a concern, as founded or unfounded as it may be. It is up to CPS/APS to make the judgement call on whether or not the concern is valid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748665 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 09:14:37 +0000 honeybear 2748665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your candor. I have often thought about the stress and havoc that a report to CPS can cause a family when the threads about reporting others come up. </p> <p>@travellingbee: Your proposed response to a sentence like that from a 7 year-old is entirely reasonable. Unless there was some follow-up or other indication of a problem, that teacher's response was not reasonable and it clearly did inflict harm, even if the child wasn't removed from her family. </p> <p>@Truth Bombs: The reason for CPS is NOT “so that teachers and nurses and everyone else don’t have to make their own judgment call.” They're there to help ensure child safety and welfare. </p> <p>It is expected--and heavily emphasized in mandated reporter training--that reports of suspected abuse or neglect must be <b>reasonable</b>. The reasonableness requirement applies to reports from the general public as well as mandated reporters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748649 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 07:09:09 +0000 Truth Bombs 2748649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: @tequiero21: I just think the teacher is in a tough spot because people, especially children, lie to protect their abusers all the time. So asking the children questions doesn't mean you'll get truthful answers. Isn't that the whole reason for CPS investigations and mandated reporting? So that teachers and nurses and everyone else doesn't have to make their own judgement call, but allow professionals to determine if there is a problem? If this little girl ended up being wrongfully taken from her family, sure, then let's get upset. But I'd rather 10 overly cautious investigations that lead to nothing than 1 missed chance to save a child who is in trouble. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748647 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 07:02:05 +0000 Silva 2748647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you and your family went through this. I would have been sick to my stomach- I just can't imagine. </p> <p>CPS varies by state, so my experience is limited to our small, relatively well resources state. I'm a social worker and my husband is a doctor so we have each made countless reports. I will say, your story surprised me (totally not doubting it, just to be clear!) because I've called with way more and they haven't investigated. A few years ago there were three children who died (separate families) who had previously been investigated but the child wasn't removed. Some of my closest friends are CPS workers and they are really in a thankless, damned if you do/damned if you don't position.<br /> It sounds like the doctor was nuts. My husband went through a lot of training about how to evaluate marks and how to question parents about them, and what makes an answer or an injury suspicious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748629 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 02:52:40 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2748629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a nightmare! I'm so sorry you had to go through this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748628 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 02:00:42 +0000 psw27 2748628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that you went through this. I had a client when I was a divorce attorney go through an unfounded investigation and it was very hard on her. It has always been in the back of my mind and certainly colored my parenting. I'm glad your older child was not negatively impacted by the interview process. </p> <p>I would definitely talk to the head of the practice whether you move or not. He/She needs to be aware so that this type of thing doesn't happen to other people. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748623 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 00:17:51 +0000 tequiero21 2748623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: wow, I would have totally reported that nanny!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748621 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 00:07:02 +0000 tequiero21 2748621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you went thru that. Glad everything turned out ok, but I personally would have filed a complaint or something. While it's good she took precautions if she was really worried, she didn't even acknowledge to you guys about the concern and your lo is at an age where bumps and bruises and scratches happen. She unnecessarily put u guys thru hell. I think if u suspect something, report your findings to your boss or something and after getting a second opinion, report something. Wasting resources for a scratch.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748620 Sat, 17 Jun 2017 00:00:44 +0000 tequiero21 2748620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @travellingbee: I was going to write this! Definitely worth the extra attention and try to figure out what she meant by that statement - not jump the gun and report them to cps... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748617 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 23:52:42 +0000 anonysquire 2748617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me so sick. I can't imagine how traumatizing this was for you guys. Ugh!!!! My 2 oldest kids are always covered in bruises and bite marks and scratches and i am always paranoid that someone will think it was me. But my kids are constantly jumping off of stuff or wrestling, like normal kids. This is just horrible for you guys!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748615 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 23:43:57 +0000 travellingbee 2748615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: as a teacher I would have asked the child to tell me more about what they wrote... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748578 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 20:57:50 +0000 avivoca 2748578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for your kind words. It was extremely traumatic and I definitely worried that our kids would be removed from the home. In hindsight, I know that she was just trying to protect a child and that calls like this save children from horrifying circumstances. It was just traumatic for us as parents. The kids never knew anything was wrong, our daycare director introduced the caseworker to H as her friend who wanted to talk to her. </p> <p>For anyone else who finds this thread, some things I found helpful was to make sure my home was very clean but lived in. The caseworker wants to see evidence that children live there, so while we picked up toys and had a neat home, we didn't worry about making sure it looked like a show house. We removed anything that could have been a hazard from in and around her crib. Sometimes we put a lovey doll in there for her to play with while we tended to H, so that was removed. Their room was clean, beds made, etc. all exposed plugs had outlet protectors or special outlet covers that slide over when they aren't in use (all good things for babyproofing), and the cabinets were locked. The interview lasted about 20 minutes. </p> <p>It is my sincere hope that no one has to go through this, and I hope my story helps anyone else in my position. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748529 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:36:38 +0000 erinbaderin 2748529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: I actually think the teacher was in the right (although I guess maybe she could have first asked some more questions to the daughter herself), it was just another first hand example of how scary it is for the family even when they know they haven't done anything wrong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748526 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:21:42 +0000 gingerbebe 2748526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin's nanny dropped their baby and didn't say anything and left for the evening. When my cousin went to put her daughter to bed she found a big goose egg on the back of her head and she seemed a little listless so she and her husband took their infant to the hospital immediately. Once they got there, they reported my cousins to CPS and they took the child into protective custody. My cousin and her husband were absolutely grilled, as was their nanny, and she didn't see her daughter for two whole weeks. She didn't sleep and hardly ate and became a shell of a human being. Needless to say, my cousin fired her nanny, quit her job, and became a SAHM. And they never had another child. It's sooooo scary! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748522 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:16:56 +0000 Mrs. Oreo 2748522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I am sorry you and your family went through this. </p> <p>As a nurse (and mandated reporter), there are times I've agonized dialing the county CPS phone number and opening a case (unfortunately, many of my kids are actually abused). I never really get a chance to really hear what the family goes through, especially the ones that get cleared. I'm sure it causes so much stress and worry. I appreciate you sharing your story to gain insight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748518 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 18:06:38 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2748518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How terrifying! We were briefly investiagted for child abuse by the hospital when D got very sick at 4m old, since his presentation of NEC was unusual. Thankfully they dropped it after taking photos of D and interviewing us separately. It was an infuriating experience but I understand the need. In your case, I just cant believe it. Glad it resolved ❤ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748509 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 17:47:29 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2748509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What an awful experience. So hard to understand why a pediatrician would report something so minor as that. I am sorry you have to go through that, glad it is behind you and you will feel at ease again one day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748408 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 14:02:48 +0000 skipra 2748408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:shocked: omg I didn't know you went through this. I'm so sorry. I understand the need to protect children from abuse and neglect, obviously, but a scratch??? My guy just got a huge scratch on his face. I didn't see it happen and I've been with him all day so I assume his nails needed clipping. So I clipped his nails. Babies' nails are so sharp. I don't understand how a pediatrician could assume abuse not sharp baby nails, especially in the absence of any other signs. So glad everything is cleared up now, but how awful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748396 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:51:27 +0000 Truth Bombs 2748396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: while I'm sure this was very stressful for your friend, I'm curious what you think the teacher should have done? As a mandated reporter I don't see that she had much choice after reading those words. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748393 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:48:11 +0000 danda 2748393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also had an unfounded CPS experience...I'll try to post in a separate thread when I can. I can completely empathize with your stress and having it hanging over you like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748381 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:27:24 +0000 Mrs D 2748381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing. I think its important for people to see that these investigations can happen to normal, good moms.</p> <p>I'm sorry you had to go through this - but I have mad respect for you taking the high road and just "moving on" from it rather starting a fuss with the pediatrician.</p> <p>Its frustrating that she used up resources this way but I suppose if her being a bit (probably more than a bit) ridiculous saves another child who actually may be in danger then I suppose its all worth it... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748379 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:22:21 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2748379@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry your family had to go through that! Kids getting caught up in what we all know is a broken system at times is such a scary thought when mom and dad knows they are being loved right where they are- rightfully with them.</p> <p>One of the local moms I met through FB was investigated by CPS. Her daughter had an unexplained scratch or mark in her diaper area. If I recall correctly daycare called the authorities although the mom is pretty sure it happened there. This wasn't the first bad sign about the daycare, but she felt they were trying to save face on an incident that occurred under their watch they could not explain. The worse part for the mom was the CPS investigator was male and would not let the mom remove her daughter's diaper for him to examine her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748373 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:12:06 +0000 Raspberry 2748373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for sharing the details with us. I could feel my pulse pick up just reading it, and can't imagine the stress you were under. As if as mothers we don't already have enough to beat ourselves up over.</p> <p>I am so sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748365 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:05:33 +0000 pachamama 2748365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a parent's worst nightmare. I feel so bad you had to go through this. What an utter overreaction!!! Every single tiny thing my son has, his daycare providers ask both me and my husband. It freaks me out a little after your story but I know they have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-through-a-cps-investigation#post-2748364 Fri, 16 Jun 2017 13:04:11 +0000 FaithFertility 2748364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: omg I am so very sorry </p>