https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 19:15:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920947 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 21:40:26 +0000 FarmWifeGina 920947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the problem is that hospitals have it in their head is that birth needs to go this certain way, at this pace, and if it doesn't we need to fix it. I certainly believe in going with the flow of the body and once in awhile the body needs help, but sometimes it actually knows best and does things outside of the textbook to help itself out. Just one case: a friend of mine was home birthing, contracting pretty solidly for 24 hours, then the contractions pretty much stopped. This scenario would have made hospital staff pretty nervous. Water breaking, Pitocin, some kind if intervention would have been pushed. But the midwife just told her to go to bed, her body was telling her to rest. Baby was born uneventfully 4 hours later. Sure, breaking her water *might* not have hurt anything, might have had that baby out really fast. It may have actually done a lot of damage, considering her baby was pretty high and floating yet, could have resulted in cord prolapse. The use of Pitocin at that point could have stressed the baby to the point of needing a c-section. And then of course, the doctor would have saved the baby's life, maybe the mother's too. But in reality, going with the body's flow can avoid these situations altogether. Hospitals are businesses though. They really don't want women hanging out and laboring for 3 days. Get the mom in, get the baby out, send then out the door in 48 hours. Well, doctors aren't hospitals, they take the Oath to "First do no harm," but, from what I've observed anyways, this doesn't apply to the way med students are taught when it comes to birth these days. The prevailing line of thought seems to be, "You can't get sued for doing a c-section." and that birthing bodies are broken and undependable. It wouldn't cross many OBs minds that the reason a woman's labor is stalling because she's tired- except to recommend an epidural and Pitocin.</p> <p>ETA: but I completely agree that being the decision maker, being presented honestly with the pros and cons of options, not having things "done to you" is most definitely empowering, even if you wind up with a different birth than you'd envisioned.<br /> I personally am pretty positive that my body can do the whole birth thing, I'm a gung-ho natural birther, but my hospital birth plan didn't include much. Because if true complications present themselves, OF COURSE I want to take the best of the course of action for my baby, but I'm pretty damn educated about normal birth too and I wanna be informed should the need for an alternative course arise. I want to be given the chance to give consent when it comes to pretty much everything. I want to be talked to like an equal, not just told that my baby is going to die if I don't do _______. And nobody can't tell me that doctors don't play the dead baby card because I have heard WAY too many stories to believe that there aren't quite a few that don't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920946 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 21:40:17 +0000 sarac 920946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@runsyellowlites: I absolutely DID NOT want to go with the flow - I wanted a natural, unmedicated birth. Well, I didn't get it. BUT - my midwives and eventually the consulting surgeon made me feel so in control, so empowered, so respected that I don't regret a second of it. Sure, I would have loved an unmedicated birth - but I know that I did the absolute best that I could, that my providers worked their asses off for me, and that I got to avoid a csection, because of all that. Feeling empowered and respected is absolutely crucial to a positive birth experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920863 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 20:47:57 +0000 bisous 920863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I agree with you about choosing a provider who will work with you toward the best outcome. I think being able to communicate openly before and during labor is also so important. </p> <p>@aprk: I also agree that ultimately, though its not everyone's definition of going with the flow, it's good to be open to interventions under certain circumstances and when they are necessary to reach the best outcome (healthy mom and baby). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920851 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 20:38:32 +0000 bisous 920851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Loved the article! This says it all: " And it wasn’t because their way was safer. It was because it suited their institution better.”</p> <p>BRAN (or BRAND, as I learned in my birthing class) is so critical--if only every woman knew to ask those questions than just accept the doctor's first suggestion. I know so many women who really regretted "going with the flow" and ended up with traumatic experiences that they feel could have been avoided. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920843 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 20:33:34 +0000 aprk 920843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's more about being educated about your body and about birth and what options are out there. Frankly, at the end of the day, you *do* have to go with the flow - the flow of your body and your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920775 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 19:56:49 +0000 Foodnerd81 920775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with some points in the article, but I really dislike the us vs them attitude that I see in a lot of natural childbirth reading (as in, us- women who want a natural childbirth, and them- doctors and hospitals would want to cut you open at the first chance you get). I haven't given birth yet, but I know I am lucky that I live in a city with top ranked hospitals and plenty of options, so I fully believe that my midwives and other providers at the hospital will only suggest interventions if they are needed. If I went in with an attitude AGAINST going with the flow, I really don't think that would help the experience at all and would just lead to bad feelings afterwards. I know people who were so committed to certain things in birth and when things changed, they had a really hard time getting over it even though they truly believe the interventions were necessary. </p> <p>I guess my point is, I chose my providers based on the belief that they will work with me towards the best outcome, but I realize I am lucky that I have lots of options. I know in a lot of hospitals you have limited options (such as hospitals that won't even attempt VBAC). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920676 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 19:17:45 +0000 runsyellowlites 920676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: I get that impression all the time when I read &amp; hear women's birth stories!</p> <p>I love how this article hit about "who's flow we're going with" &amp; if that flow matches the definition of our flow!</p> <p>So important! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920655 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 19:08:07 +0000 Navy_Mommy 920655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: So true! My birthplan went out the window when I ended up with a bladder infections (and a baby pressed against my bladder) and a 102 degree fever but I felt supported and heard the whole time so in the end I feel as though I had a positive experience</p> <p>**I didn't actually read the article yet* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920645 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 19:02:41 +0000 Silva 920645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friend is a home birth midwife, and she told me that studies show that feeling empowered during l&amp;d is a much stronger indicator of "positive birth experience" than things going as planned, or even going easily.</p> <p>Was true for me, definitely. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/going-with-the-flow-not-a-good-idea#post-920612 Wed, 10 Jul 2013 18:42:46 +0000 runsyellowlites 920612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I came across this article the other day &amp; really enjoyed it! I thought that even though it is clearly through the eyes of a MW model of care, it gives some great advice for the moms that <i>are</i> more open to the different birth options we all face AND how to still be able to advocate for ourselves &amp; feel empowered despite our delivery route...</p> <p>The more I've thought about it, the more I'm realizing that our perspective of *experience* is in many ways even more important than how we deliver! Even if we need a cesarean, we should be able to still feel empowered in our birth!</p> <p>Anyhoo, I just thought this article had some good insight into that &amp; thought I'd share!</p> <p><a href="http://birthtraumatruths.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/the-pitfalls-of-going-with-the-flow-in-birth/" rel="nofollow">http://birthtraumatruths.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/the-pitfalls-of-going-with-the-flow-in-birth/</a> </p>