https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 16 Jun 2026 08:47:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2563202 Tue, 07 Jun 2016 11:33:37 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2563202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: that's a totatlly F'd up thing to say then! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562943 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 20:40:29 +0000 agold 2562943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Madison43: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: So funny, because I do, too!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562927 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 20:09:40 +0000 plantains 2562927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yup, they are a black family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562875 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 18:48:03 +0000 Mrsbells 2562875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm late to this post. after seeing the photos of the barrier that the zoo had, my take is that the responsibility is shared between the mom and the zoo. The mom should have kept been holding her 3 year old's hand. even if he hadnt climbed into the enclosure he could have been snatched. At the same time, i saw close ups of the pictures and the enclosure was way too easy for a child to QUICKLY and EASILY slip in. I know the zoo said that kids can climb over anything but thats a very pathetic excuse, they should still make a better effort at not making it easy to climb over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562790 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 16:17:58 +0000 Madison43 2562790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: "I associate meth with white people" - hahaha. I was literally posting the same thing. :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562786 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 16:16:08 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2562786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: so the family is black? I didn't follow too closely, but that would be a context clue for me. Or what's the new term- dog whistle words? @agold: i associate meth with white people. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562743 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 15:31:27 +0000 agold 2562743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: Gees, I learn something new every day! Thanks for letting me know that. I have always pictured a white meth-faced chick when I think of "crack whore". But, maybe its just meth, and not crack, that I'm thinking of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562729 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 15:12:50 +0000 plantains 2562729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Yes, their is a lot of history and propaganda around the 'war on drugs' and crack versus cocaine i.e. even though they are essentially the same thing but with different melting points crack carries much stiffer sentencing than cocaine. The history is long and tortuous and would derail this thread but even though I don't do drugs I know that inserting crack into the conversation is showing racial bias. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562701 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 14:37:59 +0000 agold 2562701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: Is crack racist? I always associate white trash people with crack. crack is cocaine, right? Hi, I don't do drugs. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562677 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 14:15:37 +0000 Adira 2562677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@plantains: Oh wow, I didn't read his statement! Totally agree - that's a F'd up thing to say. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562672 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 14:11:43 +0000 plantains 2562672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I was relieved to see that, but pissed all over again when I read the prosecutor's statement. He Said "its not like she was in the bathroom smoking crack while her kids were running all over the zoo." WTF kind of ridiculous code word loaded racist statement is that? Why does crack come into this conversation at all? Words matter people! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562660 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 13:57:16 +0000 Adira 2562660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The mom won't be charged. Thank goodness!!</p> <p><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/06/us/harambe-gorilla-death-investigation/index.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/06/us/harambe-gorilla-death-investigation/index.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2562341 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 06:17:40 +0000 Adira 2562341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: Thanks for sharing that article! It's perfect! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2561022 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 21:32:20 +0000 Eko 2561022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: my feelings exactly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2560995 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 20:35:43 +0000 runnerd 2560995@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: 👍🏼👍🏼 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2560990 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 20:16:05 +0000 irene 2560990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://medium.com/life-tips/hey-america-do-accidents-happen-anymore-especially-when-a-kid-is-involved-70b0971e5656#.6ab8viuew" rel="nofollow">https://medium.com/life-tips/hey-america-do-accidents-happen-anymore-especially-when-a-kid-is-involved-70b0971e5656#.6ab8viuew</a></p> <p>Amen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2560858 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 16:12:39 +0000 SweetiePie 2560858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: You're right, when I say I'm at the park and look at my phone for a second, I mean 1-5 seconds. I'm saying to look at the time or see if my husband said "on my way home". I keep my phone in my bag. I'm not texting or reading an email or typing on hellobee because the risks are too high. Part of this might be that I am not a risk taker. I'm a very cautious person so maybe I am overly so.<br /> At home? Sure that may be different. But I have more control in my home than at the park or zoo. And if something happens to him on my watch at the park or in my home or the zoo, even if all I did was glance down for 5 seconds, it's still my fault. It was on my watch. But I still think (my opinion) that falling at the park is different than scaling fences, walls and bushes and making their way into a gorilla habitat. </p> <p>I guess everyone assesses risk differently and makes their decisions accordingly. </p> <p>And I haven't seen anything that said 10-15 seconds. I've seen 30 to a minute (plus, I still think he couldn't have gotten as far as he did in 10-15 seconds). And yeah of course she didn't think "well I'm going to take this picture and my kid is probably going to fall into a gorilla pit and I don't care." My main point has been that to say she isn't at fault is wrong. Even accidents usually have someone who is at fault. That doesn't mean she should be criminally charged if this is a one-time thing. But come on. It was her fault!</p> <p>I probably won't post anything else on this topic, not because I'm mad or anything (opinions and all that). I just think that the people who feel one way will feel one way and there's not a lot of point to keep debating it. I don't think I could say much else that is earth shattering to change someone's mind. Plus, I like everyone and don't want to argue :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2560737 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 13:22:45 +0000 BSB 2560737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: So the one thing I saw that you wrote was you might look at your phone for a second. In all seriousness, we all know that a second is not really a second. Reading a text takes 5 seconds. Unlocking my phone takes 2-3 seconds because I have to put in a code. Responding to a text takes even longer. (Granted, I don't usually respond to texts if I can't or don't have the time.)</p> <p>So this mother taking a picture for 10-15 seconds is not all the bad. (Bad as in she thought was probably harmless to take a picture at the moment... yes, looking back that pictures was bad in the scheme of things.) We all probably have taken pictures while watching our kids. I would say it takes me 5-10 seconds to take 1 picture. Unless you can sit there and say parents should not be distracted whatsoever be it phones, talking to a stranger, eating, drinking, paying for food, etc. Yes, it sucks that her child managed to scale a fence and fall into the moat within the time that she was distracted. </p> <p>If anyone has strength and will power to not touch your phone while watching kids... shout it out here because I truely admire your strength. I know I'm not perfect and I need to cut down on how much I look at my phone while the kids are awake.</p> <p>I can agree with you and having 4 kids with her is a bit more than I would be willing to handle. I don't think that if you have more than one kid that you have to be stuck in your house all day. She probably is kicking herself for not asking for help. Maybe she did ask for help. Maybe her friend or husband couldn't make it or cancelled last minute. Maybe her kids really wanted to go to the zoo. Maybe she was already at the zoo when her friend cancelled. Maybe she thought she could handle it. Look at all these maybes and here we are judging her for not watching her kids while this unfortunate event happened. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/5#post-2560719 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 13:01:19 +0000 SweetiePie 2560719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: I agree with you. I guess I'm not saying that some extreme should happen like immediately take the children away and she's probably a bad mom. But if a kid falls out of a window because they crawled out, I'm pretty sure that CPS does an investigation because where was the parent during this? I think it's kind of the same. Not every one of those parents is a neglectful bad parent. But it's a big enough event that someone should look into it, because maybe they are. I don't think that this woman is being scrutinized beyond what a lesser-publicized event like it would prompt. We just don't hear about it as much.<br /> And the death threats are just ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560606 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 11:17:43 +0000 JenGirl 2560606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: &amp; @irene: Several people in the crowd actually tried to get to the kid. I don't think anybody noticed him until he was in the bushes, then people looked around for his parent, then tried to go after him, but it was too late because he was moving very quickly and trying to get into the habitat (not wandering over and falling). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560598 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 11:07:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2560598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: Yes! Same thing is the issue with texting and driving. You think its a split second but its not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560597 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 11:06:10 +0000 Freckles 2560597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: @T.H.O.U.: The thing that bothers me all the time is when i hear people say, "it was a split second." People have NO sense of time! When you end up being preoccupied with something, time goes a lot faster than you think. The times that my kids got away from me were the times when i was preoccupied for definitely more than 1 minute. </p> <p>I think most of us can agree that having CPS investigate, or calling it neglect, or threatening death is effing ridiculous. However, it's annoying when i hear people say that the parents shoulder absolutely no responsibility. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560580 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:48:59 +0000 Adira 2560580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: That's like this one I saw. </p> [attach=340/16/o85iln.475x475.great.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560563 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:38:04 +0000 SweetiePie 2560563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Autumnmama79: 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560559 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:36:08 +0000 Autumnmama79 2560559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This cracked me up!</p> <p>[attach=6415/16/o85i08.337x600.image.png] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560554 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:28:24 +0000 SweetiePie 2560554@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: and I mean, I guess this is where opinions and parenting styles come into play. Everyone is different. But to me, if you can't keep an eye on all 4 kids at the zoo, don't go to the zoo. Maybe that's not a popular opinion, but it's mine. I think 4 kids is a lot for ANY single adult to handle, I'm not just hating on her. Older kids is one thing, but young kids and babies...I dunno. </p> <p>I also read she was taking pictures, not tending to kids. Granted that's a minor detail, but I think it sorta matters. Maybe that has been refuted though, maybe she was tending to kids. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. </p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: I would be shocked if she was only looking away for a few seconds and her kid was able to scale walls, fences and bushes in that amount of time. I think a minute is a bit more realistic for that to happen. But I guess that's just speculation. But because a witness said up to a minute and that seems more realistic to me, that's what I've been using as my reference point. </p> <p>And I think that your scenario is different. In an enclosed playground with a 4.5 year old seems very different to me than a 3 year old at a zoo, surrounded by moving adults and strangers and wild animals. </p> <p>I'm not a crazy helicopter mom, I swear. I let my son play on the age appropriate toys/areas at the park and I sit on a bench and watch. I don't hover, I don't follow. I like to watch him navigate on his own and learn how to maneuver and play with other kids. Might I glance at my phone for a second if the playground is kinda empty and calm? Of course. Maybe next year when he's 3 I'll go a full minute :-) But that just seems like a totally different scenario than what this mom did.</p> <p>Anyways, I guess my original point is that just because something is an accident doesn't mean that someone isn't at fault or shouldn't be held accountable. I guess that's my biggest issue is the lack of humility or responsibility. If she just said "I bit off more than I could chew, I feel awful that turning my back for a mere 30 seconds to a minute resulted in this, etc etc". There's just been no responsibility on her part.<br /> And, for the record, I'm not a monster - I'm sure she feels so awful and is possibly taking on the responsibility privately and kicking herself for it. I'm sure those 10 minutes where she saw him down there were gutwrenchig. My very very first thought when I heard this was that I felt bad for the mom. As we've learned a few more details I still feel bad, but own up to it lady. I think that if she truly feels like it was an isolated incident and not indicative of their every day life, she should apologize, welcome an investigation and move on. Adults are responsible for kids. If a kid FALLS INTO A GORILLA HABITAT I think it makes sense to check out the adult they were with. He didn't break away from her grip and run into the street. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560550 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:25:33 +0000 agold 2560550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I'm with you on this. A minute is way too long. My horrible mind thinks up way too many situations that can happen to a child in that amount of time. What ever happened to leashes? My sister and I weren't darters, but my mom always had us in a stroller or on a leash in crowded places. My niece is 4.5 and we still put her in a stroller in a place like the mall even because we don't want to loose her in a store. And she's a good girl! Is it not the norm to expect to have constant eyes on your child? This is an honest question because I'm just now pregnant with my first so I obviously haven't dealt with this except just watching my niece. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560538 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:04:00 +0000 Adira 2560538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I read somewhere that another witness said the mom was dealing with her other kids and had her eyes off her preschooler for 30 seconds, MAYBE a minute (they weren't definitive with how long the time was, but it was a minute at most). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560537 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:02:40 +0000 Adira 2560537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: "If you know that toddlers can get into danger in a matter of seconds, how in the world is it ok to leave them unattended for up to a full minute?"</p> <p>To me, not having your eyes glued to them, but thinking they are right with you, is NOT leaving them unattended. It's not like she said "Honey, you stay here by yourself for a minute while I go way over there where I can't see you." I'm assuming he was right next to her and that she ASSUMED he would stay right next to her. I take my eyes off Xander all the time, but I ASSUME he's still with me, because he always is. Obviously if something like this happened to me, I'd be extra vigilant in the future, but I wouldn't assume my preschooler is going to run off just because he CAN. At some point, you have to start trusting your kids to do the right thing. This mom probably trusted her son to stay with her. She was wrong, but I don't fault her for believing the best in him at the time. I'm sure that from now on, he's going to be a tight leash and it will take time for him to earn her trust again. But if your child is generally pretty responsible and trustworthy, it's natural to assume they will continue to be so.</p> <p>And you'd be amazed at how fast a minute flies by when you're dealing with multiple kids. She had four with her - if the other three needed her attention and her preschooler usually sticks to his mom like glue (like MINE generally does), I can totally see getting caught up in whatever you're doing with the other kids, not checking on your preschooler every 2 seconds in between. I'm guessing she no longer trusts him and this won't happen again. I just can see how it could and I don't fault her for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/gorilla-in-oh-killed/page/4#post-2560535 Thu, 02 Jun 2016 10:02:08 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2560535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do we know how long the mother had her attention turned away from the child? Was it 15 seconds/30seconds/60seconds? @SweetiePie: You do have a good point that a full minute is a long time unless part of that time was where the child had slipped away and she was looking for him? But I know at the playground with 2 kids (age 1.5 and 4.5) there are times my older child runs off to play and it easily could be 60 seconds before I can catch up or put eyes on her. Again, a level of trust there that we have had conversations about not leaving the mulch area alone, etc. but something easily could happen in that minute I"m sure. I dont think that is neglectful parenting though. </p>