https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 23:11:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-19557 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:16:27 +0000 Ms.Bucky 19557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A decent percentage of male grad students in my phd program have kids. Zero women. It sucks. I have no idea how it would even work if I got pregnant. If I needed to take a semester off it would mean no funding (which would be okay, and no health insurance (which wouldn't). But, waiting until you are finished are into your first (academic) job (assuming you are a lucky person who gets a job) is not ideal either -- it is very busy and stressful. That tenure clock starts ticking and doesn't stop. </p> <p>It makes me want to give up this whole career path I've chosen. These are the things I wish I'd thought of before I started -- the practical implications of not being established in your career when you want to have children in your early 30s. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-19429 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:30:43 +0000 MrsBeach 19429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agreed, Maysprout...it's definitely not easy. I've been in research for quite a while now and I've definitely seen it done at all stages of a PhD and post-doc, so I know it's possible. I think you're right though, it really depends on your relationship with your boss. Mine is definitely supportive and would be understanding, but I don't want to potentially make my degree any longer. And, though I know this is terrible and I feel bad saying it, I'd feel a little guilty. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty about having children, but I'd still feel a little like I'd let my boss down since I would be away from the lab for a while. We're in a competitive field and that could mean getting scooped if my project was just put on hold. I feel grateful that he took me on as an older student (competeing with 21 years old who went straight to grad school). I don;t him to think I'm just going to take my time now or that I'm not focused. I'm having a hard time balancing work and life at the moment. I'm not sure that I could do it with a baby. I just don't want to wait too long and have complications or find out that it's going to take a long time to conceive. sigh. I may try for a dissertation baby after all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-19381 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:50:53 +0000 Maysprout 19381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm finished with grad school but did a PhD in a research field. We had a couple women who got pregnant early, they didn't finish (a couple guy's wives had babies early in the program and the guys finished the program). The most successful momma's were the ones who had a good repertoire with their boss and basically waited to write while they were pregnant and defend just before baby. They often stayed on with their boss after their PhD as a post-doc, or in a lab associated with their previous advisor. One girl had a baby after a couple years in school but it took her forever to complete her degree. Unfortunately the only successful new momma post-docs I've seen first hand are ones that were already had worked for their boss for years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-19376 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:43:36 +0000 wife09mommy11 19376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am currently applying to Ed.D. programs and hope to start when my baby is about 8 months old. It's scary but exciting too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-15253 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 11:23:42 +0000 LazyLightning 15253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second "Mama, PhD." I actually reviewed it on my blog. I don't want to self promote, but it's my username dot com, just use the search box for mama, phd. It gave several women's experiences, both sides of the issues. </p> <p>I will be done with grad school before we TTC but hubs may still be in his degree. Since we also both work full time along with full time grad school, we just didn't see it working out very well having a baby too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-15235 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 10:55:10 +0000 soyjoy222 15235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think about this a lot. I am going to start applying to a 2 year grad program in the upcoming months, and I will be 27 when I graduate (close to 28). I'd like to TTC before age 30...so there is a possibility we could try my last semester of school. I am not so worried about being pregnant in school as I am trying to job search after graduation and being visably pregnant. Not sure how all of that will pan out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-15187 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 09:33:31 +0000 Rock n Roll 15187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work full-time, work on my Masters part-time (two classes per semester), have a toddler and am pregnant and due in June with my second. I don't plan to take any time off school, but just taking late summer sessions. I have two years left until I finish. It's not easy or an ideal situation, but if you want to do it, you can. I think it's just one of those things where you either do it or you don't. You really have to MAKE it work. </p> <p>If you have a really supportive partner, and especially if you have other family or friends around to help, it makes it much easier. Unfortunately, it's really hard to know how your partner will react to parenthood until the child is born. If you're going full-time, I would recommend some time off after the baby is born because it's so much more exhausting than you think it will be. Everyone warns you, and you think you know, but then when it happens you can't believe how difficult it is to just function as a human being those first few weeks (especially if you breastfeed.) Trying to do other things on top of it is really hard. </p> <p>But it's definitely do-able. If your program has flexibility it really helps. And know your rights! They will vary by location, but if you have to miss class or deadlines due to childbirth, you should be able to make up for any missed exams or work or turn it in a little late. Find someone in the university who can help you. </p> <p>Also, people always say to wait until your dissertation, but my daughter was the kind of child who wanted to be held constantly as a baby. With her, it would have been much easier to go to class and work on homework when she was little and write and concentrate now, when she's older and can entertain herself more. But you also don't know what your child's personality will be until he or she is born either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-15173 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 08:59:20 +0000 mrsjyw 15173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am just starting my MBA program in 2012 and we are also NTNTC with plans to TTC as soon as the holidays are over.</p> <p>Luckily, it is a part time, part online curriculum that gives me flexibility to handle my work/personal life with it.</p> <p>I did law school at night between 2009-2010 (dropped out) while planning our wedding and working full-time, so I'm hoping that was good training for the chaos that is about to ensue in our household should we get pregnant next year.</p> <p>It's crazy, but I kind of thrive in crazy busy-ness, so I'm weirdly excited about what the new schedule has in store! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-14972 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:45:01 +0000 MrsBeach 14972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, thanks for the book recommendations Mrs Earrings! I will be checking those out as well. It just so tricky to know when the best timing is. I think that having a baby during your dissertation year makes a lot of sense. The problem with that is in research you really don't know when that's going to be. I'm in my 2nd year and if I knew that I could finish in my 5th year, I'd probably wait. I know too many 6th, 7th, + year students though and in that case I wouldn't want to wait. I read somewhere that you shouldn't think about when you're having your first baby, but when you're having your last baby. If I wait and my degree takes a long time, I will be having my second a bit older than I would like. And what if it takes me a long time to conceive? On the other hand, I never really wanted to have a baby during my degree because I know how challenging both things are and I want to be a good student and a good mother. We're definitely going to wait until after classes and qualifying are over, which will be in the spring. Then I guess we'll starting thinking about it...but I still don't know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-14942 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:42:11 +0000 nana87 14942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm also wondering about this. We're not trying yet but I feel like I'm emotionally ready. I'm in my second year of a phd program, and have at least 4 more years left. I'll be done with classes after the spring but then have orals (or comps/prelims as they're called in most fields), but DH isn't ready to start trying yet anyway and thinks we should wait until I'm done with those. So I guess we'll be trying for a dissertation baby. My program lets you take a semester off without it affecting the time limits for your funding, so that's a big plus....I'll have to check out those books Mrs. Earrings mentioned! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-14917 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 14:03:30 +0000 mrs.earrings 14917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am researching this too at the moment because we're thinking we will TTC in the middle of my grad school years (in about 3-4 years). I have read "Mama, PhD" recently, and that was helpful, and Im reading "Professor Mommy" next. Most of the things I have read tend to recommend having a child during your dissertation writing year. We figure there is no "perfect time" so we're just going to try when we're emotionally ready, and then we'll figure the rest out as we go along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-14913 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 13:55:43 +0000 BSB 14913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm half way through my part-time masters program and we just started TTC. I will probably take the semester off that I give birth.</p> <p>I know it's going to be hard juggling working full time, school part time and a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grad-school-mamas#post-14864 Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:58:17 +0000 MrsBeach 14864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Anyone have babies in graduate school? I've been reading a lot about pros and cons lately. I'm married and over 30 with several years left in school (I'm in research) so I'm not sure "the right time" will be soon...or ever. I'm curious what the Bees think! :) </p>