https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 01:12:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1621401 Thu, 08 May 2014 12:00:51 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1621401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I decided to put a stop to it. I told my mom to just wait until Christmas before getting LO another big gift. She's already gotten her more than enough gifts for her birthday and I know she means well, but I don't want this to be a habit. </p> <p>I know I can always limit the gifts she's getting by putting some of it away (introducing things to her at different times so she's not overwhelmed), but it just doesn't feel right. </p> <p>Maybe if my mom lived close-by, I'd be more open, but the cost of shipping is expensive in itself and I'd just feel bad. I want DD to grow up wanting things, instead of always having everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1619244 Wed, 07 May 2014 13:07:23 +0000 fancyfunction 1619244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I let them. My dad is the biggest culprit but I love how he wants to give her the moon. It will be more of a problem if she asks for outrageous things b/c I know he won't say no. ;) But that's on our end to teach her not to be greedy and materialistic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1619180 Wed, 07 May 2014 12:49:00 +0000 swurlygurl 1619180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they want to spoil with 'things', so be it. </p> <p>I will not tolerate my IL's spoiling her behavior and allowing her to misbehave though. Thankfully they are pretty good about it, but there are a couple times where they go against my SIL's authority in front of her - that just sends mixed messages to the kids about the parent's authority! We're only just now getting to an age where we're holding L accountable for her actions, so it will interesting to see how it plays out with us. My parents though, they see her all of 1-2 weeks a year, so I let them get away with just about anything.</p> <p>Although babysitting is a different story (especially since they've had her alone mayyybe twice?). If DH and I aren't around, the grandparents can do just about whatever they want. If they want to keep her up til 10 pm and give her ice cream for dinner, fine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1619141 Wed, 07 May 2014 12:39:28 +0000 chopsuey 1619141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I let it be </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1619130 Wed, 07 May 2014 12:36:37 +0000 mrsjyw 1619130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I let it be </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1619122 Wed, 07 May 2014 12:34:00 +0000 Arden 1619122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I graciously accept and say thank you... and then get rid of it immediately. Return, donate, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618728 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:23:01 +0000 lamariniere 1618728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand since we are in the same situation, but with both sets of grandparents in other countries. I have told my dad not to send things because it is so expensive, but if we go visit/ he comes here, I'll let him spoil. :wink: I can also tell my dad what he can't buy or do and no one has hard feelings. As for my ILs, I would really like more "guide" spoiling. My MIL is the queen of sending/giving cheapy plastic toys that my son plays with for 5 minutes or gives treats right before dinner or other inappropriate times. I appreciate the gesture, and I know she adores my kids, but I would like for them not to keep wasting money and, like @Mrs. Jump Rope: said, I'm afraid my kids will come to expect presents all the time and I'm not ok with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618673 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:14:00 +0000 Lindsay05 1618673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I feel the same. My parents spoil my child in the wrong way. But they love her and she loves them so I cant really do much about it. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618671 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:13:47 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1618671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Chloe is the first grandchild on both sides of our families, and the first girl in 20 years. She is definitely spoiled. As she got older, the gifts got bigger and we are literally running out of room for everything. Like, I don't know where or how we are going to fit a bassinet in our living room. There is that much stuff. </p> <p>We've asked family to cool it down on the gift giving. I can't think of anyone in our families that isn't guilty of getting Chloe something EVERYTIME they see her. My kid seriously asked my nana the other day where her present was. I was shocked that she asked, but hey, that's the precedent that's been set. </p> <p>It's got to stop. I et Christmas and birthdays, but the ALL THE TIME is making our house look like toys r us threw up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618654 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:09:10 +0000 Grace 1618654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no problem with LO's grandparents spoiling her. I wish my grandparents had spoiled me. I do agree with Blackbird's idea of deciding whether it's appropriate for her to play with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618642 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:05:41 +0000 Cole 1618642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think letting it go is probably wisest but I would at least drop hints about what gifts have been the biggest hit and what might be really enjoyed. I love the idea of memberships to the zoo or for them to pay for a class. You could maybe make that extra fun for the grandparents to give by emailing photos each time you go and having your little one bring it up on Skype, sending drawings made of the animals etc. Maybe if they get lots of feedback from something like that they would be likely to keep giving experiences instead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618615 Wed, 07 May 2014 10:01:05 +0000 snowjewelz 1618615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll take it, lol :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618603 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:59:18 +0000 wonderstruck 1618603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I agree with this - although as LO gets older I may draw the line somewhere. Like if I tell them no to having their own cell phone and grandma and grandpa buy them one, that's not cool and a discussion would be had. Right now LO is too young to care or know if I take away something I feel isn't appropriate or choose to give it to him when he's older, but I know that will change eventually. And if the house if overflowing with gifts I think that's a pretty easy fix - great opportunity to teach the kids about donating toys to kids in need.</p> <p>When it comes to other kinds of spoiling (bending rules like too much sweets, letting them stay up late, etc.) I think it depends on how much time the kids spend at the grandparents. If once or twice a month they're over there without mom and dad and get spoiled by the grandparents, that's totally fine. But my MIL takes care of my nephew every day while his mom is at work, so he basically has no rules and is filled up with junk and sugar every day. That's a big problem and part of the reason I'd never use our parents instead of daycare or a nanny - free help often has strings attached! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618595 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:57:38 +0000 pui 1618595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd let it be... but I get where you are coming from. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618578 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:54:20 +0000 Smurfette 1618578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends. My IL's definitely spoil the grandsons, toys and even more so with candy. I will put my foot down about the candy, but the toys I won't control. They have yet to buy her anything besides Christmas and her birthday though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618577 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:54:12 +0000 autumnlove 1618577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I let it be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618570 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:52:59 +0000 mediagirl 1618570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Let them spoil the child is my opinion. Now that M is a little older and no longer a "baby" I let them spoil her not just with stuff but with food and treats, too. They're grandparents, they have finally earned the right to do what Grandparents do. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618549 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:48:55 +0000 Weagle 1618549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just let it be. I'm an only child, so I know our children will be spoiled. They're good about asking for bigger events and holidays, but when we visit with them (4-5x/year) we just let them do what they want. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618545 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:48:28 +0000 looch 1618545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is the first grandchild for my parents, but the 4th for my inlaws. We also lived abroad and will always live away from one set of grandparents as they're on different continents from each other.</p> <p>I graciously accept whatever anyone gifts to my son, because that is the love language of my parents and my inlaws. I don't have it in me to make a big deal of it, if that makes any sense!</p> <p>eta: I agree that I do control what he does play with, if I don't think it is acceptable, I won't allow it. But my parents and inlaws are very much in tune with how we raise our son, so I don't forsee it being a problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618543 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:48:24 +0000 blackbird 1618543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just let it be. I cannot and will not tell someone else how to spend their money unless my opinion is asked. But i have every right to *not* allow LO to play with something if i don't feel it is appropriate. </p> <p>ie. if you buy my child an ipad at the tender age of 1, I'm going to confiscate it for my own use :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grandparents-right-to-spoil#post-1618534 Wed, 07 May 2014 09:45:44 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1618534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is far from being a problem, IMO, but I'm just curious to hear your thoughts and opinions on grandma and grandpa's right to spoil your LO.</p> <p>DD's the only grandchild on my side of the family and we live abroad, so my mom and grandma only really see her through Skype. They've only met her once before she started walking but we videochat often enough. I understand why they feel the need to spoil her with things because they can't physically be there for her, but I'm not sure if I agree with it.</p> <p>I was raised to graciously accept well-meaning gifts from loved ones, but am I just supposed to let them buy her all sorts of stuff?</p> <p>How do you deal with this? Do you just let it be? If you don't, where do you draw the line? </p>