https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 04:10:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-774930 Sat, 11 May 2013 08:54:48 +0000 heffalump 774930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family is very casual when it comes to clothes. We aren't big shoppers. There were times when theyd focus more on clothes, usually special occasions, and it was always fun shopping for new fancy dresses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-774809 Sat, 11 May 2013 06:42:29 +0000 BananaPancakes 774809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I feel so terrible for you ladies whose parents made such awful comments about weight! I can't imagine how hurtful that would be. </p> <p>And my mom was a single mom for a long time and grew up fairly poor, so she's always been super thrifty. She still gets most of her clothes at the thrift store and I can't imagine has ever had an item tailored. She almost never wears makeup and its a fight to get her to put on a bra. But I think she's beautiful and free and she's always made her children feel so confident because she's focused on our inner beauty above all. My mother would never ever critique our looks, or anyone else's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-774783 Sat, 11 May 2013 06:10:20 +0000 blackbird 774783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are excessive in this department. My dad would always encourage me to go on diets and lose weight-and then I was put on one (I was avg size!)-and once told me I would look really good if I lost 30 pounds (30 pounds that I didn't even have on my body to lose) and even now, makes comments. It makes me uncomfortable but I ignore them. Now that I'm older, my mom encourages me to dress sexier and not so frumpy. I shop at Banana, Loft, Gap, etc. it's sad. Both my parents are so focused on looks, mom got a tummy tuck six weeks before my due date and my dad got an eye lift 2 weeks before. They are going to Mexico this week to flaunt their new bodies. They live 5 hours away, LO is 5 weeks old, and have not seen her yet. </p> <p>Vain to a fault! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-774753 Sat, 11 May 2013 03:47:24 +0000 808love 774753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Never. Beauty wasn't valued or recognized at all unless it was in nature. I think that's why I eventually prized natural beauty above other forms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-774161 Fri, 10 May 2013 17:57:14 +0000 mediagirl 774161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Clothes and looks didn't matter as long as we were clean and our hair was brushed. Sure, mom curled my hair, put it in ponytails and dressed me in styles of the day but we didn't talk about looks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773981 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:51:25 +0000 Anagram 773981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>woooooo....these comments make me feel lucky to have the mom I did. Some of these things are horrifying! I was not a skinny kid, just average....but luckily, my mom didn't make comments about my weight at all. She did talk a lot about healthy foods, but not necessarily in a "diet" type way. We never had sugar cereals, chips, sodas, cookies, etc. in the house.</p> <p>TOO bad that part didn't rub off more on me!</p> <p>But Clothes.....all the girls in my family share a love of clothing and shopping, even though all of our tastes are different. My mom would always let me pick my own clothes at our big shopping moments (back to school and christmas) and she would let me be fairly adventurous. My mom is super supportive when it comes to fashion----which is why wedding dress shopping was not stressful at all to me. I could put on a paper bag and she would tell me what's good about it and then tell me I will look good in whatever.</p> <p>She's definitely not the type to tell me a certain type of dress makes me look fat, or that a certain style isn't for my body type. Now...I do have a brother that will tell me honestly if something looks good or doesn't on me. For a straight guy, he has good fashion sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773889 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:07:01 +0000 jmarionsmith 773889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i remember one holiday we were all sitting around the table waiting for my parents to sit down so we could eat. i was maybe 12 or 13 and i said "hurry up! i'm hungry!" my grandfather, who was pretty much a jerk all the time, looked me up and down and said "well, you don't look hungry" granted i was a chubby kid (and adult) but who says that to a kid?? i'll never forget the embarrassment it caused me and even today i'm very conscientious of comments i make around food. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773888 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:07:00 +0000 Rubies 773888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom tried very hard for me to not focus on my looks. I wore my brother's hand-me-downs until grade 9! I didn't discover girl clothes until grade 10! I also wasn't allowed to wear makeup or even pluck my eyebrows until grade 13!</p> <p>It wasn't my mother but HER FRIENDS who would either say, 'Oh! Look how pretty you are, you lost weight!" or "Oh, you've gained weight, I see." Things like that REALLY got to my brain especially since I hit puberty at age 12-13 and got super fat after being super skinny. Eating disorders galore for 2+ years. I still have body image issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773878 Fri, 10 May 2013 15:04:05 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 773878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The weight thing is a whole different story, though. I don't remember my mom (my dad wasn't really around much) making comments about other people's weight, but she and her sisters and my grandma were always on diets and talking about wanting to lose weight. None of them have ever been really overweight, but I definitely grew up thinking that I should diet and try to be thinner. I can definitely see how this has negatively impacted my self-perception. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773863 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:58:34 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 773863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: Oh jeez that's awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773862 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:58:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 773862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, not at all. It is reflected in my current lax attitude towards looks and clothes. I always dress our girls super cute and hope that doesn't influence their self-perceptions too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773859 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:58:03 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 773859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom and grandma gave me a love of clothes shopping, but I wouldn't say they focused on looks/clothes... maybe my grandma... I've always loved trying new outfit combos and I get sick of my clothes really quickly, so I tend to buy new clothes frequently, but I don't spend a lot on the pieces. I was never really into makeup and hair and I'm still not, unless it's a special occasion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773850 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:54:35 +0000 yin 773850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom criticized my weight, and I was never skinny enough. She would brag about her glamour days when she was super tiny. The heaviest I reached was 114 lbs, and I am 5'3". I usually weighed 105 lbs, and that just wasn't good enough. I had major self-esteem issues, which aren't completely resolved today. I wish my mom was nicer to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773842 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:53:21 +0000 Dandelion 773842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was always way too concerned about what I was wearing. I think she really wanted me to dress like I was 40 all the time. I hated it. I'm more of a creative free spirit than she would like.</p> <p>With my son, I'm way lenient. I let him pick out his clothes, and I don't really care if he doesn't match...even though my mom seems to be way too concerned about it. I prefer to let him express himself. I figure he'll either pick it up and care about clothes, or be like me and worry about what's inside rather than outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773827 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:48:03 +0000 ShootingStar 773827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom never really said much about appearance, but my grandmother did. She was a very blunt woman and used to give me mixed messages like "you're so beautiful you could be model...if you lost 20 pounds." She would comment on my weight all the time, and then try to get me to eat more. When I was around 14 I said something to my mom about it and she told me she thought I was a perfectly average weight - which I was! </p> <p>But in terms of fashion, my mom was no help and I was dressed pretty dorky as a kid. I feel like I have no fashion sense now, I can pick out a nice looking shirt and wear it with a pair of jeans and that's the extent of my fashion ability. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773822 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:46:45 +0000 Modern Daisy 773822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are both very judgy about overweight people and have always made comments in that regard. It definitely impacted me as a person since I was very weight-focused my whole life and battled various eating disorders until my mid 20's. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773814 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:45:54 +0000 owlmom 773814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom always wanted us to look clean and neat, but physical beauty and clothing were not stressed as priorities. Appreciating art and design and the beauty of nature were, though. We visited art museums regularly and had discussions about art and architecture from an early age. We also spent lots of time outside and discussed the beauty of the natural world. I don't think you need to emphasize clothing or how pretty people are in order to give your children an appreciation of beauty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773809 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:45:06 +0000 loveisstrange 773809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brothers used to tease me mercilessly about my nose being on the large side. My middle brothers friends used to call me his "Jewish sister". It was awful and I still have body image issues about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773805 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:44:30 +0000 skibobrown 773805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom didn't focus on looks at all, and I have mixed feelings about that. On the plus side, I think it made me much more secure about my appearance, and it makes me be more open to people of all different appearances. On the flip side though, I feel like I got teased sometimes growing up b/c I didn't have the cool stylish clothes, and I had a pretty dorky style of dress. I wanted to dress in a more stylish way, but I didn't know how to. Personally, I like dressing DD up in a fashionable way, but I don't want to dwell on that with her or ever make her think that I only value her for her appearance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773799 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:43:28 +0000 IRunForFun 773799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, absolutely not. Neither of my parents were (or are) into fashion, dressing for style, etc. We didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up so a lot of our clothes were hand-me-downs or bought, like, at Wal-Mart or something. My mom doesn't do anything to her hair to style it, and doesn't wear much makeup, so I never had much experience with that, either. </p> <p>It wasn't until I got to middle school (a private, all-girls school) that I even realized I was "supposed" to care about what I looked like. </p> <p>Even in my late 20s I still have a hard time figuring out what is stylish and what looks good on me, and I hardly ever do my hair or wear makeup.</p> <p>However, I can't say that I 100% attribute it to the way I grew up, because I have two sisters and they both seem to understand fashion naturally and they always look well put together. So maybe it is just the way I am? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773778 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:38:03 +0000 illumina 773778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Mum used to go on about choosing colours that suit and styles that match body shape and I dismissed everything until I got to my mid-twenties and it dawned on me she was totally right! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773758 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:32:46 +0000 Alivoo01 773758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No even though I was in pageants as a kid. It was stressed pretty heavily by my mom on how to "look pretty" on stage (how to position my feet, roll my shoulders back, make eye contact with the judges, smile, etc), but outside of the pageant world, looks/appearances didn't matter. I dressed in full on matching sweat outfits up until like 5th grade shoo!</p> <p>I think because of this, I'm not very girly even now, and don't know how to "dress" nicely since clean, nice pair of looking pants and a shirt will do was the mentality growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773710 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:23:17 +0000 Bookish 773710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. My mom was very focused on other people's appearances. She'd always tell me to 'go put makeup on, it'll make you feel better,' and both my parents would make comments about my weight. </p> <p>On the other hand, she never taught us (or even encouraged us) to use makeup, do our hair, or dress for our body shape, so even now at 25, I have very little understanding of what looks good on me or how the heck to make myself look nice!</p> <p>It was definitely a weird combination of messages that has most certainly affected me to this day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-did-your-family-make-comments-about-looksclothes#post-773698 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:18:19 +0000 mrbee 773698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's interesting... my family never focused on looks or clothes at all growing up. In many ways, it was a blessing because that stuff can be really distracting and even damaging.</p> <p>But on the flip side, it eventually took me a decade or so to really understand visual design and aesthetics... just because it wasn't something I really considered that much growing up. I've done a lot of web work over the past decade and I've always focused more on pragmatic usability than I have on something look beautiful. I've tried to get better at balancing the two in recent years.</p> <p>Now I have a more balanced perspective on it... but I'm wondering how to give the best of both perspectives to our kids. Not really sure!</p> <p>Growing up, did your family make comments about looks/clothes? Did it impact you in unexpected ways now over the years? </p>