https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 23:31:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-how-much-did-you-take-your-family-into-account-when-making-decisions#post-46218 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 13:36:16 +0000 Modern Daisy 46218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not really sure how to answer since i wasn't really allowed to make any big decisions on my own, even the college I went to. The activities/sports I was involved in my parents chose or at least had to approve of and they had no problem banning anything they thought would be inconvenient for them or that they just didn't like. And it didn't phaze them in the least that I hated to play the piano and practically had panic attacks at recitals, they thought it was a good skill to learn so I had to play until I turned 18. </p> <p>I think they made good choices for me, but it also made me a little too dependent on them. As a 30 year old married woman, I definitely still seek their approval. Who knows where I would be today if I had been given more autonomy in my life choices? But the path they lead me down meant going to a great school, getting a useful business degree and entering a lucrative stable career. They are also responsible for me meeting DH since my Dad practically forced me to interview at the company where I met him! :)</p> <p>With my future children, I think I will take a similar tight reign on their life decisions. I see where my parents came from now, to them the most important thing in life was doing well in school and getting a valuable degree that leads to a good career even if it meant putting aside bigger dreams. I think encouraging that out of your children to the point of forcing it is actually doing them a favor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/growing-up-how-much-did-you-take-your-family-into-account-when-making-decisions#post-46201 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 13:20:52 +0000 mrbee 46201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the classic Asian upbringing... I started piano at 4, violin at 5, practiced each for 2-3 hours a day (until I focused just on piano at age 11), competed in piano competitions, etc. None of these were decisions I would've made if left to my own devices, but I don't regret them because they made my mom happy.</p> <p>When I was high school, I defied my parents and joined the football team. My stock dropped 80% that day... possibly 99%. But I still consider it one of the best decisions I ever made. After that, all my big decisions went to the family though because I had used up all of my political capital haha.</p> <p>Growing up, my family was my main concern in my decisions.. but as I got older, I started to go my own way with my biggest decisions. Now I have a family of my own, and I think mostly of them... but I am definitely more selfish than I was.</p> <p>I don't know what I want for our kids. I want them to be independent, but also want them to take our input into account. Hopefully they won't just defy us and do whatever they want... although if they do, I'm a big believer in letting people make their own mistakes.</p> <p>Growing up, how much did you take your family into account when making decisions? What kind of expectations do you have of your LO when it comes to making big decisions while growing up? </p>