https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 20 Jun 2026 15:44:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208983 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:55:55 +0000 Adira 208983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I agree!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208926 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 13:23:04 +0000 ladyfingers 208926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: OMG. What a horrible, horrible joke. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208684 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:11:48 +0000 Adira 208684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: So true! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208678 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:07:06 +0000 Boogs 208678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I know I couldn't put up with that whether or not I wanted kids. It's so funny how every crowd or party always has "one of those." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208674 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:05:22 +0000 Adira 208674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: hahaha, yeah, I honestly don't know how his wife puts up with it, because she REALLY wants kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208670 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:03:46 +0000 Boogs 208670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Sounds like I'd push him down the stairs if I was his wife! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208646 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:50:24 +0000 Adira 208646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Actually, that reminds me. Earlier in the day, when were just hanging out outside and he saw that I wasn't drinking, he told my husband (in front of other people) to push me down the stairs. This wasn't totally out of the ordinary for him, since he claims that if his own wife ever gets pregnant, that's what he plans to do to her. I KNOW he's just joking, but he says stuff like this a lot, and the fact that it was directed at me was really hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208643 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:49:02 +0000 Adira 208643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: Well, he's usually very vocal about how anti-children he is, but for our friends that ARE pregnant or have kids, he's pretty well behaved in front of them. So his comments weren't necessarily surprising, but he knows that my husband I want children, and he MIGHT even know that we're trying, so it seemed really rude to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208640 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:45:54 +0000 Boogs 208640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure your hormones are making you a but sensitive, but that also wasn't nice of him. Alcohol is no excuse, but I bet that had a lot to do with why he wasn't so nice. Is he usually like that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208635 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:44:19 +0000 LuLu Mom 208635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say a little of both, I"m guessing yoru friend had had quite a bit to drink at that point as well, so he wasn't thinking about the sensitive nature of what he was saying. Most people who do not have kids don't seem to understand that people like to keep an early pregnancy quiet. He shoudln't have said anything, but I would just brush it off and not let it bother you or ruin a friendship. And no one should poke a stomach that is just insensitive and rude! He should be smacked for that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208633 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:43:54 +0000 Jumpingjacks 208633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometimes some people who haven't been through it can be completely oblivious to your feelings and the sensitivity of the subject. This was a jerky thing to do and it is doubtful he has any idea how bad his behaviour is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208632 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:43:46 +0000 MsLipGloss 208632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Lol @ psychological warfare! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208631 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:43:01 +0000 Adira 208631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Oh, good idea! I'll definitely do that, to hopefully throw him off! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208613 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:35:20 +0000 MsLipGloss 208613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Word! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208612 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:35:14 +0000 Smurfette 208612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Sounds like you covered yourself well! Since you are going to see him again this week. Get the restaurant early and get a fake drink and sip on it all night! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208608 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:33:09 +0000 Adira 208608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: Seriously! And I hope he feels like a jerk when he finds out I actually AM pregnant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208589 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 10:27:43 +0000 MsLipGloss 208589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Holy Mary - he *poked* your belly. WOW comes to mind. That, and, well . . . NOBODY BETTA LAY A FINGAH . . . and all that jazz. Hopefully he will take this next social event to act more like a gentleman and keep both his comments, and his paws, to himself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208513 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:54:45 +0000 Adira 208513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: I tried to take it well and just laughed him off. I was like "Ha ha, you're silly, see ya!" But I was boiling inside! I think the thing that really bugs me is that I had talked to him a few days before the party and he had asked me if we were spending the night (due to drunkenness), and I had said that I was going to DD my husband, so I wasn't going to get drunk (I specifically DIDN'T say that I wasn't drinking, just that I wasn't getting drunk), and then he was like "Ohhhhh, can I start rumors??" and I laughed, and said "No, of course not, don't be silly." So I had told him BEFOREHAND that I was DDing my husband and that he shouldn't be starting rumors, and then he went and did it anyway!!!!</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: I actually can't cut him out anyway - his birthday is this week and I've already agreed to spend it with him, so I'm going to see him again real soon. I just hope he doesn't do anything like this AGAIN.</p> <p>@beka: I hope you're right! I mean everyone else was drinking so hopefully they don't really remember what he said. But he wasn't subtle about it at all! He was like "ADIRA DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK TODAY!!!" REALLY loudly, like he was announcing it to the room! And then he made the babies are the worst comment and poked me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208494 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:47:33 +0000 Foodnerd81 208494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Actually, I glossed over the 'babies ruin everything' bit, ad he POKED YOUR STOMACH? Never mind, he's definitely a jerk. The calling you out part, I chalked up to the drinking and insensitivity, but the rest of it is just mean. Honestly, not that you should flat out remove him from your life, but he doesn't sound like a very good friend at all. </p> <p>However, I do still think not very many people would have noticed it or remember it. The ones that do will remember that he was an a$$hole, not that you are probably pregnant. You were obviously driving your drunken husband home, nothing out of the ordinary there (in my world at least ! :)</p> <p>ETA and the part about you being more sensitive-- I mean because of the stress about hiding it, more than pregnancy hormones. Just FYI. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208489 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:44:43 +0000 Smurfette 208489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: What was your reaction to it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208487 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:42:57 +0000 shinystraps 208487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh I'm sorry about that. I have a friend who does this and it's really frustrating. Especially because he's the same way, always drinking when he says it, so everyone else thinks that it's no big deal, but it bothers me. There's no time that it is appropriate... either you're newly pregnant and don't want to tell, or you're hoping you're pregnant and obviously don't want to tell the world you're in your TWW!</p> <p>I would imagine that few people paid attention/remember it though - they were probably drinking too, and it's not as big of a deal to them as it is to you (or me, when it's me) since you know the truth. So maybe your pregnancy is still under wraps! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208480 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:36:41 +0000 Adira 208480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: @Foodnerd81: Thank you ladies for your input! I agree, I'm probably more sensitive about it BECAUSE I'm pregnant and trying to keep it a secret. If I wasn't pregnant, I'd probably not think it was a big deal.</p> <p>@Smurfette: I agree! I mean, he's always been pretty vocal about how he's anti-babies, but the fact that he called attention to EVERYONE that I wasn't drinking and he even POKED my stomach! It is WAAAAAY too early to tell people we're pregnant, so I REALLY didn't want him bringing it to everyone's attention! I hope you have better luck with your friends than I had with mine when you're pregnant! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208459 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 09:23:55 +0000 Smurfette 208459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a jerk! I don't care if he was drunk too, no excuses. People need to learn to keep their mouth shut and their opinions to themselves. </p> <p>This is my fear when I do get pregnant that someone is going to say something to me about not drinking before we are ready to tell people that we are pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208424 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:49:00 +0000 Foodnerd81 208424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mostly, I think he was a jerk. But, you are probably also more sensitive right now, with trying to keep it quiet, hormones, etc, so it probably hurt your feelings even more than something similar would have another time. Plus, it's SUCH a personal thing.<br /> I'm sure a big part of the jerky comment coming out was the drinking, so I'd let it go, but maybe once you DO decide to tell everyone, point out that it was pretty rude and he really shouldn't say things like that because he never knows what's going on in people's lives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208416 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:35:37 +0000 MamaMoose 208416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both. Your friend was being a jerk. But it also sounds like there was a lot of drinking going on, and he was probably pretty drunk. And a lot of guys do think babies are the worst and they just don't get having kids until they are married and ready to have kids themselves. I don't think this is something worth ending a friendship over. But maybe when you see him again and he's sober you or your husband can let him know that his outburst wasn't appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/grrr-insensitive-friends#post-208415 Mon, 02 Jul 2012 08:33:02 +0000 Adira 208415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So Hubs and I went to a friend's House Warming Party over the weekend. It was an all-day event, and everyone was drinking. Everyone except me, because I recently found out I was pregnant. I drank a lot of water, and tried not to be obvious about the fact that I wasn't drinking, but then, when we were leaving (I was DDing my husband because he was pretty drunk), my friend points out to everyone that I didn't drink anything all day and then exclaims that babies ruin everything!!!</p> <p>Now, I don't KNOW if he knows I'm pregnant or not, because I certainly didn't tell him, but I thought it was pretty rude of him to call attention to the fact that I wasn't drinking, so that now everyone is speculating on whether I'm pregnant or not. And then to "jokingly" imply that babies are the worst! I'm sooooooo mad right now, I don't want to see them again! </p> <p>Am I being overly sensitive, or was my friend being a total jerk? </p>