https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 15:28:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2844549 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 15:57:17 +0000 MrsDynamiteGal 2844549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: I don't have any solid advice, but can understand a bit of what you're going through. Our family experienced a similar situation not too long ago that involved three children. </p> <p>What you are doing is awesome, and I commend you for stepping up to help out. Guardianship/Foster Care is not for the faint of heart, and I recommend you arm yourself and your family with as many resources and a strong support system. We unfortunately did not have this.</p> <p>In our case all three children were temporarily separated and sent to different family members until a more ideal set up could be attained. If it had not been done this way, it would have been overwhelming for us. So don't feel guilty if you can only take on one child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2844479 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 11:14:39 +0000 snowjewelz 2844479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: Def a lot of positives here, but a long road ahead for sure. Keep us updated! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2844452 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 09:11:46 +0000 Sams Mom 2844452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update:</p> <p>I spoke to my aunt this weekend, and they are coming down for a visit in a few weeks to see where she would live and get a feel for what she thinks about coming to live with us. </p> <p>A plus is my Aunt is looking to move to our home state to get them out of the city and help with the transition to living with us. </p> <p>Another bump in the road is my Aunt has asked my older sister (3 step daughters already) to take in the 2 boys and her &amp; my BIL are talking it over... So at least J would be able to be close to and see her brothers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2830512 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:35:37 +0000 Sams Mom 2830512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Everyone would be in the family still (boys to dad's side, girl to mom's side), but I live out of state from where they are. Most of my family is in the state I live in though, and I would have no problem with fostering a relationship with her brothers as long as it isn't harmful to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2830488 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 11:00:09 +0000 snowjewelz 2830488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: Aww. Well, at least the boys would be taken care of and everyone will still be within the family? It's pretty messed up but I guess it's better than their current state... I hope you can have a very smooth private adoption for the girl. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2830483 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:39:44 +0000 Sams Mom 2830483@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just an update for anyone following along. </p> <p>My dad spoke to his sister this weekend about us taking in J. My aunt told him that her and her daughter (great grandma &amp; grandma to J) had spoke about us taking J in. What I suspected to be true, turns out it is true, the people that want to take the kids only want the boys. It's messed up, and so very wrong; but it's something I suspected. </p> <p>I think this might end up being amicable and might be able to go the way of a private adoption with any parental rights remaining terminated and signed over to us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829763 Wed, 20 Jun 2018 16:03:34 +0000 Sams Mom 2829763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: maybe. I just know that with her immediate family on both sides the boys have and always will be treated exponentially better than girls. Honestly the main deterrent to us fostering is growing attached to kids placed with us then letting them go back to their parents. I know not all situations work out like that, but I know the attrocities her mom had committed against her and want to put states between this little girl and the waste of oxygen that is her mom and dad. </p> <p>I know it sounds shitty, I feel shitty that I'm wanting to just take her in; but I know my limitations on what we can handle emotionally and financially. </p> <p>Hell, they could tell me to pound dirt and I'll never get a chance because I'm too far out the family tree as a first cousin twice removed. </p> <p>It just all makes me sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829762 Wed, 20 Jun 2018 15:52:38 +0000 Mrsbells 2829762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think its great you want to open up your home to this little girl. I also think it will be best for them to be together. Are you open to taking her until someone is available to take all 3 of them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829368 Tue, 19 Jun 2018 15:00:33 +0000 psw27 2829368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending you lots of love and support. It is very admirable that you are stepping up to save this child from a horrible situation. </p> <p>I can only speak to my state, but here if a child is placed in Department of Children and Families custody (custody meaning that DCF makes decisions for them), they usually try to find a kinship/family placement for all three children together. They like to keep kids together if possible. That being said, kids certainly get separated and if you are able to be a kinship placement for one of the children, DCF would be happy to have you. Unless the parents have had their parental rights fully terminated, there is always the risk of reunification and having to participate in things like visitation, taking the child to therapy with the mom etc. If DCF is not involved, and the parents are willing to agree to a formal guardianship through the court, you have more control. However, the parents can still petition to terminate the guardianship and take custody back. (This isn't to be a naysayer, I think you should absolutely still do it. Just giving you the legal run down as I know it in my state). I'm happy to give you more info or help you find more info in your state.</p> <p>I hope it all works out for your sake, and for the sake of these innocent kiddos. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829073 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:55:42 +0000 MrsMom 2829073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have advise, But support and admiration! Its such an amazing thing you're trying to do and I wish you all the best. I can feel that your heart is really in the right place and you just want the best for this little girl. Big Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829069 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:36:13 +0000 Costello 2829069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: I just wanted to offer some support. DH and are informal guardians (working towards adoption) of a non-relative’s biological child. He has been in our care since the day he was born. There is no question he was meant to be with us from the moment we first knew he existed. Sadly, there are so many moments of uncertainty when dealing with a guardianship. It is not for the faint of heart! However, if your heart tells you this little lady needs your influence and support right now, you will find a way to make it happen...in whatever form that takes. {{hugs}} </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829067 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:27:39 +0000 Sams Mom 2829067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: I just walled you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829063 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:19:13 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2829063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: In my experience, if DHS/CPS/CFS etc gets involved, the children will be placed in foster care or with a relative close by and an attempt will be made to have them all be placed together. Assuming mom won't be given a chance at reunification, however unlikely, is probably not accurate. It varies wildly from state to state and even county to county, but most parents are given a chance at reunification, which usually includes services (parenting classes, rehab, etc) and visits. So if you took her now, you'd potentially have to be willing to participate in, and support that process. If DHS is not involved, and the mom is willing to give you guardianship, that would be a different story. Happy to chat more via PM if you'd like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829060 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:11:48 +0000 Sams Mom 2829060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: From what I understand (you can't get straight answers from 98% of this part of my family), my Aunt (great grandma to the kids) is basically raising them for her POS granddaughter who comes and goes, in and out of jail/prison, and takes in more via her nose and a needle in her arm than food. </p> <p>The only reason that I think there might be more than just my Aunt taking the kids to raise is because the little girls mom was busted trying to sell the little girl to her dealer for a couple hours in exchange for drugs when the little girl was 2 or 3. I don't know what system would allow her to maintain custody or parental rights, but who the hell knows with how broken the system seems to be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829054 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 13:02:07 +0000 MaryM 2829054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are the children not in foster care and/or being looked after by child and family services? It seems like most foster agencies would try to find a situation to keep the family together and make sure they're placed with decent humans. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829049 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 12:56:24 +0000 Littlebit7 2829049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: ahh. I can’t speak to the legalities. I’m sure that part won’t be easy. Maybe some of the law bees on here can give you more info.<br /> Again, think of the immediate need and her welfare. You are providing so much, even if it is just for a short period of time. She will know someone has her back and for an 8 year old who sounds like she doesn’t have that now, that will probably mean a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829027 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 12:34:05 +0000 Sams Mom 2829027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Littlebit7: I'm scared they won't let us just take her. The family that is on board with this doesn't have guardianship, just medical POA. </p> <p>I feel like a shit person just wanting to take her for the time being. But it is potentially the best thing for her unless a decent human being pops up somewhere closer on the family tree. </p> <p>This is all just so frustrating.</p> <p>Thank you both for the support though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829017 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 11:58:52 +0000 Littlebit7 2829017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no experience or true advice. I only offer support; it seems like your heart is telling you and your husband what you need to do. It sounds like the immediate need is the girl. And you can help the girl. So if you can make the practical stuff work (time, finances, etc) I say do it. Down the line...well time will tell if you feel you need to take guardianship of the other boy or both. But focus on the immediate need. It seems like you are ready to head down that path. I cant offer much...just support and that I will be thinking of you! It is an incredibly generous and amazing thing you want to do. You will change this girls life forever. There aren’t many times in life one is given that opportunity. I wish you the best with whatever decision you come to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829015 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 11:52:47 +0000 Sams Mom 2829015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alphagam84: The dad's family who also would only step up to increase their monthly income from the government only wants the boys. Boys are the only worthwhile gender to them. I don't know that anyone else on our side could take all of them. If she goes to the dad's side she will end up being built in slave labor for them. It's terrible for the boys, I know, but the older one is already taking on all of the horrible traits and views that the family has instilled in them. The younger one is only 18 months, but I just don't know that I could handle a 2 year old and a 18 month old. I know it's horrible to say that. I just don't know... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2829007 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 11:43:00 +0000 alphagam84 2829007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any advice but I think it's wonderful you want to take in and help this little girl! That's hard with her having two brothers-is there anyone else in the family who wants to step up and take in all three children? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guardianshipadoption#post-2828993 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 11:02:15 +0000 Sams Mom 2828993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Through a chain of events this weekend, my husband and I have been presented with the idea of taking guardianship of a semi-distant cousin of mine. She is nearly 8, her mom is a garbage human being that should have no chance of regaining custody of her. </p> <p>My question is, have any of you taken guardianship of a relative. She is old enough to know where she's coming from and who we are to her. She has had some trauma in her life, and I know therapy is most likely a given. She is a sweet girl, but I also know that there could be a lot going on under the surface. We have a 2yo son, and have been ttc #2 for 15 cycles now. I know nothing about raising little girls, but I'm 1 of 3 girls and my parents will be a great resource for us if this ends up happening. </p> <p>Another thing I'm torn about is she has 2 brothers, we can't take on 3 more kids on top of our own. She is expected to supervise and take care of her brothers even though she is the middle child... and only 7 years old. Will we even be able to take just her, is it wrong that I only want to take her?</p> <p>I just know we can provide her with an exponentially better life than the one she is on track for at the moment. She will be able to have a childhood, we will love her as our own, she'll have great schools to go to, we can provide her with everything she needs and a lot of what she wants. </p> <p>I don't know why I posted, I just am hoping to find someone that can recommend any literature, or commiserate with me, or offer advice of any sort. </p>