https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 23 Jun 2026 09:19:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-251462 Wed, 08 Aug 2012 00:19:31 +0000 tequiero21 251462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: that's good to know! i can tell my supply is decreasing. not sure i'll be able to make it to the 6-month mark! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-230930 Mon, 23 Jul 2012 09:57:41 +0000 Clementine 230930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KansasPrincess11: thanks so much for your encouragement! i've just started taking more milk plus drop,s and I've def seen an increase in my supply. Maybe something worth checking it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-229725 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 13:16:16 +0000 KansasPrincess11 229725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@clementine: I just posted a "mom guilt" post yesterday because I've had supply issues as well. We had to supplement from very early on and I'm returning to work on Monday and (until this morning when I got 2.5 oz-woot woot!) I'd never pumped more than 2oz combined from both breasts. Most of my friends/acquaintances EBF but what I had to accept was that they were almost all SAHM's or very part time workers, there's no way I can dedicate a majority of my day at work to pumping, he eats so frequently and so much that I've never been able to produce enough to keep him happy. I learned (through here!) that 2 feedings/day is what provides your LO with the health benefits and I can produce at least that much. </p> <p>You've made it longer than I have! My goal at first was 6 months, now I"m just hoping to make it to 2 months, just taking it week by week! Good luck! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225658 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:17:10 +0000 Clementine 225658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: thanks for the encouragement and i will def try to drink more water. i'm not good about that, so very good rec. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225657 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:16:42 +0000 Clementine 225657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: thanks, Mrs. B! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225655 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:16:20 +0000 Clementine 225655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: thanks for sharing. you know we had a similar situation with my LO and that's why I started supplementing. He started crying like crazy day 2 and we thought it was because of his circumcision. Later, we realized he was starving to death and from then on we've supplemented but sometimes I wonder if I should have stopped once my milk came in, but it never seemed enough for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225591 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:27:06 +0000 erwoo 225591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aaaw, don't beat yourself up about it. You're already doing a great job wanting to give him breast milk. You can also mix BM with formula if you still want to give your baby BM. And if it turns out that he just get formula, that's okay too. Better to stay sane than to be so stressed out. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225578 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:21:00 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 225578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In case you haven't read this article... you should read it.<br /> <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/7311/1/" rel="nofollow">http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/7311/1/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225559 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:12:59 +0000 LuLu Mom 225559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry, but just be happy your LO doesn't mind formula and that you have that option. I know there is pressure these days to breastfeed, but sometimes it just doesn't work out, you gave it a try and that is all you can do! Chin up, you are a great mom :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225524 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:55:30 +0000 skibobrown 225524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can definitely relate. I also had extremely low supply and had to supplement w/ formula. I stopped giving any breastmilk once I returned to work b/c it just wasn't worth it to pump multiple times each day at work, when all I was going to produce was less than an ounce each session. I'm still constantly plagued though by the feelings of guilt and the "what ifs". What if I had just tried a little harder, pumped a little more, taken more herbs, etc, etc. I have to remind myself that I did try extremely hard to EBF but that I ultimately had to make choices that benefited my own sanity as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225436 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:29:19 +0000 Mrs. Pen 225436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine: aww I'm so sorry you feel so bad! It's not your fault..<br /> I'm sure you've heard and tried this, but one thing that really helps my milk supply is literally guzzling water. If I Drink a gallon or more one day then the next day I tend to have over supply.<br /> Be proud that you can at least give your baby 1-2 bottles a day- that is awesome </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225416 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:21:41 +0000 Mrs. Bee 225416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>our pediatrician said that even with two bottles of breastmilk a day, they are getting almost all the benefits. so maybe you can mix a little bit with each bottle of formula?</p> <p>nothing about being a mom is easy, and all the time we spend beating ourselves up would be better spent focusing on ourselves and our families. you're doing a great job!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225401 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:17:14 +0000 rachiecakes 225401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: this has happened to a few of my friends! so scary :( one of my friends actually fell into PPD afterwards and was on meds for a long time... </p> <p>I understand that EBF promoters want to encourage something that is wonderful for babies but it is not easy for everyone. Nor is it always caused by a medicated birth. It's wonderful that we live in a world with breastfeeding support and formulas readily available for you if you need them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225374 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:09:26 +0000 junebuglim 225374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine: my son LOVES his formula more than breastmilk too.. It was tough to accept at first but as thehistoryofus suggested, I started mixing breastmilk with formula and he's taken much better to it. Then you know he's getting the benefits that your breastmilk offers and fulfills his love for formula and everyone is happy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225126 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:16:23 +0000 brownie 225126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine: I absolutely agree with you on the inadequate part. Part of our problem was my breastmilk and it having dairy and soy and hurting my little man so much. I still feel terrible over 6 months later. </p> <p>My kid also doesn't sleep and I can't get him to no matter what I do. I feel like I have failed right there. Daycare gets him taking 2 naps and she never has him CIO. I can't do it.</p> <p>Then, I realize that daycare is good for both of us for that reason. I don't have deal with the sleep and he sleeps better. I still love him and he still loves me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225064 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:43:54 +0000 mediagirl 225064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: your story is so scary!! I'm glad your lo is taking the bottle better now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225053 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:40:16 +0000 Clementine 225053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>seriously, you all made my day. I know, what's best for my child is whatever my best is, but sometimes there are times when you just feel inadequate and somehow when it comes to being a parent you often feel like that more often than not.</p> <p>my little man is 5 mos, so @mediagirl, yes, I should be proud! Thank you for the reminder.</p> <p>@thehistoryofus, yep, i'm gonna start mixing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225052 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:39:51 +0000 Charm54 225052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a mom (yet!) but wanted to let you know that myself and my 3 sisters were exclusively formula babies. We are all healthy and have a great bond with our mom. </p> <p>Don't be too hard on yourself - I think sometimes we are led to believe that if our babies get even an ounce of formula they are doomed for a life of allergies, distant relationships, and other health problems. I'm living proof that that's just not true! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225049 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:39:44 +0000 regberadaisy 225049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Clementine: We supplemented from day 1 as well.<br /> I have always wanted to EBF because we all know it is best for the baby.<br /> LCs tell you oh colostrum is more than enough the first few days of their life. On the second night at the hospital my poor little girl would cry and cry; nothing we did stopped it. The head LC and head nurse actually came into our hospital room to see what was wrong. The LC swaddled her in a double and M stopped crying. 30 minutes later she was bawling like a banshee again. The LC came in again, she (who is total breast is best type) actually suggested we supplement via a SNS system. I was open to it because she's still sucking on the boob but getting food that my body was not providing her. M guzzled that down. The she finally went to sleep. I felt SO bad that my baby was starving and I could not provide and did not know. </p> <p>All was good; we went home.</p> <p>4 days old M started crying a lot, that night she cried for 6 hours straight. We tried everything. We even buckled down and gave her a bottle because we were so desperate. She would not take that either. Finally at 3am in the morning we rushed her to the ER because we were so afraid something else was wrong. Let me tell you, rushing your 4 day old newborn to the ER at 4 in the morning is not a feeling I ever want to re-experience. They checked her out and everything was fine. The nurse asked again if she was hungry and we said she just will not take anything. She suggested we try a bottle again. The nurse gave her a bottle and she guzzled 2 ounces in no time. We were following the LC's suggestion of supplementing 1/2 oz prior. We were practically starving our child, again.</p> <p>When it comes down to it I just think M needs more than my body can produce. After those two experiences I realize that making sure she is full and properly fed is way more important than MY hopes of EBFing. There's nothing more important to us as mothers than their health and well being. However we get there.</p> <p>Hugs and feel better! Don't let MIL dissuade you!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225025 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:32:32 +0000 mediagirl 225025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't worry! Even if you have to go to all formula, you are NOT a bad mom! Sometimes these things happen. My milk came in late and I could never get M to get a good latch so I've moved to pumping. I know I'm going to have to supplement because I still don't make enough for her demands right now. I supplemented for a week or so when she was 3 weeks old, as well. Your lo will be just as healthy as the next baby on formula even if she doesn't get any breast milk.</p> <p>How old is your lo? Isn't he around 4 or 5 months? Good for you for getting him breast milk this long with your low supply!! That is a success in and of itself!</p> <p>Good luck, @clementine. I'm sorry you're struggling with this!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-225021 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:28:07 +0000 purrpletulips 225021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really struggled with not being able to EBF and feeling less of a mom as a result. Then I came to the realization that while the current push is to EBF and women are often made to feel less than if they can't/don't/etc in old times women struggled with EBF as well and didn't always have the options we have today. Once I thought about it in that sense I was a much happier mama. I ended up continuing to pump until DD was 12m and we continued to nurse until she weaned at 14m; during this entire time she was supplemented with formula.<br /> I agree with @brownie about checking to see if it could be a lipase issue (look it up but I think the BM will have a soapy taste) and if not that then mix the BM and formula (this is what I did pretty much daily). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-224967 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:04:05 +0000 edelweiss 224967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>the babies i know who are exclusively formula fed or formula/BF combination are all healthy, happy, beautiful and thriving! it's so hard when everyone builds up breastmilk as the ultimate, so your feelings are understandable, but none of this reflects on you as a parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-224959 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:59:50 +0000 T.H.O.U. 224959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you maybe mix the BM bottles and the formula bottles to help with taste? Are you nursing at all? Any BM is worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-224957 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:57:57 +0000 Clementine 224957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@brownie: thanks, brownie! you made me feel better. also if you learn any good tips from your non-cio book, please share. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-224947 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:52:06 +0000 brownie 224947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is nothing wrong with not EBF. I never set out to do it myself. We ran into issues that made it pretty much the only option we had. But at 6 month my son hadn't gained enough weight (plummeted from 50% to 0.5%) and we did supplement. </p> <p>As for the breastmillk vs formula, have you looked to see if there may be a lipase issue. I haven't had the issue but I have seen it a few places. Essentially the pumped milk has a bad taste and I think even you would refuse it. Some people have success after they boil (I think) the breastmilk after pumping. </p> <p>As long as your little one is getting fed everything is just fine. If you don't want to give up the breastmilk than don't. Every bit does something (including bonding there was a post earlier about missing it). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/guilty-about-not-ebf#post-224891 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:23:57 +0000 Clementine 224891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lately, I've been feeling really crappy about not being able to EBF. Every blog I read or breastfeeding person I run into seems to be EBF. I've never made enough milk that I've always supplemented since LO was born.</p> <p>This past week, my MIL who cares for him, has told me time and again he has refusing breastmilk and prefers formula.This was kinda of the nail to the coffin. Right now, my supply is low, so he's not getting a ton of breastmilk to begin with and to hear that he's even refusing the 2 bottles he does get, makes me feel like I suck in the parenting department. I know, this is not rationale, but I just feel crappy. </p> <p>I wonder if I had done things differently if I would have had a better breastfeeding experience and would have been able to EBF. </p>