https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 21:25:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-913817 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 17:57:22 +0000 mediagirl 913817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: having stuff at the grandparents is huge! We take very little with us to mom and dad's because they have so much baby stuff that was handed down! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-913752 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 17:38:30 +0000 Foodnerd81 913752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: yeah, I realize that asking for a list is ridiculous. But, I wouldn't mind a text saying 'hey I'm sending a playmat and a bouncy chair up with your mom next weekend'. However, I've stopped being a brat and will not complain :) </p> <p>And, having extras at my parents' house is going to be nice, so no complaints there! I think I'm going to keep both the new and the old play mats, and decide once baby is here how much i care. Then I'll either bring the old one to my parents' house or return the new one to BBB (NOT used, obviously-- I'll keep it in the package unless I decide to keep it). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-912434 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:22:58 +0000 mediagirl 912434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read the other comments yet but, I think asking someone who is giving you stuff for free to make a list of all the things they have that they MAY give you is selfish. I would just accept it graciously and sell it if you don't want it. Or ask them what they want for it in return - if they want it back, you to give it away or do they care.</p> <p>I would use pretty much everything used other than my carseat. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-912401 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 11:15:25 +0000 mrsjyw 912401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd keep the new activity mat. We only have ds, but he LIVES on that playmat and has since the early days... (he's 7.5 mths now) and I think gets a lot of wear.</p> <p>We used a second hand jolly jumper that came in handy. We got a bunch of second hand items that MIL keeps at her house, so it's convenient to have over there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-912069 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 08:34:53 +0000 Foodnerd81 912069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meltini: Oh there is definitely some cleaning out the storage room going on! But I should clarify-- it's not that things are being "forced" on me, it's that I live 5 hours away from everyone, so if someone is making the trip up to me, everyone else throws all the stuff they've been meaning to give me in the car. I can definitely keep extras at my parents house though and plan to-- like, on top of being gifted a new bouncy chair, SIL sent 2 up with my mom when she visited. I kept the one of the two she sent that I liked better, will return the cuter but same functioning one that i was gifted, and sent the other back to my mom's house so I don't have to bring one when I visit. </p> <p>However, my SIL keeps sending up clothes here and there and she has a boy-- I'm team green so there is a 50/50 chance most of these I won't want to use, if I have a girl, but my friend just had a boy so i can pass them on to her if need be. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-912058 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 08:23:55 +0000 Meltini 912058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd actually keep the activity mat that your neighbor gifted you. Send the other one off to grandma's house, return it to SIL, or try to sell it. There is nothing wrong with hand-me downs but I would rather keep something that was gifted by a friend than something that was forced on me by a well meaning relative.</p> <p>As far as deciding what to buy new and what is okay as a hand-me down, I just asked people to let me know what they were planning on giving us before they brought it over so I could let them know if we were interested or not. So far nobody has been offended when we have rejected things. I've noticed a lot of parents like to use FTMs as an easy way to clean out their storage room :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-912055 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 08:22:58 +0000 regberadaisy 912055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would keep it all for now. You never know which one YOUR baby will like! Just because it is rated best XYZ doesn't mean your baby will like it! And it doesn't hurt to have extra for the ILs house or bring with you next time you visit your parents and keep it there. </p> <p>And when the time comes whichever one LO does not like and you don't need? Just sell it on CL or a local FB resale group and use the proceeds to buy other stuff you will need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911913 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 06:45:19 +0000 T.H.O.U. 911913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: there are like car seat toys that usually have clips that would work. We lost a few of the toys for our mat too but I plan on just doing this. </p> <p><a href="http://amzn.com/B00494CKIS" rel="nofollow">http://amzn.com/B00494CKIS</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-RAINFOREST-BABY-Replacement/dp/B004RQSP4Q/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1373283879&#038;sr=8-5&#038;keywords=activity+mat+toys" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-RAINFOREST-BABY-Replacement/dp/B004RQSP4Q/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1373283879&#038;sr=8-5&#038;keywords=activity+mat+toys</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911911 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 06:40:23 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 911911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are not being a brat for wanting what yiu want for your child. Since you have options don't hesitate to exercise them. Re-gift or donate the items you don't want. Or let your Sis and SIL know you are not going to use them in case they would like to gift to someone else or donate them yourself. No biggie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911884 Mon, 08 Jul 2013 05:35:34 +0000 oliviaoblivia 911884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: my mom has a chameleon for when we visit and my stroller at home is the UBV. I miss my uppababy when I'm using the bugaboo and half the time whine about how "if I had the uppababy right now......blah blah blah"<br /> I agree with what others have posted about hand me downs. I'm fairly particular (read snotty) about what dd had to have, but with most stuff she doesn't care. If you can keep it with the grandparents it'll still get use and you can get the shiny new stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911812 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 23:03:01 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 911812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: literally us too.</p> <p>I'm a brat. I didn't accept one used or donated item. I bought it all and was well researched. My mom on the other hand, accepted all my aunts' hand me downs and used items from coworkers and neighbors. Her house has everything my baby needs and more and all of it is handed down. m doesn't notice a difference. I am starting to think I should have done that too.<br /> So, try to use as much of the used stuff as you can. At the same time, don't be embarrassed to say "no thank you!" And send it back! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911759 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 22:08:42 +0000 erwoo 911759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe when you get gifts just tell her what you've got and that she won't need to send those to you anymore. Or maybe suggest to leave those duplicate items at your in-laws house for when you guys go over. I don't think you're being a brat. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911744 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:58:07 +0000 Corduroy 911744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a hand me down relationship with my SIL. Since we have a smallish apartment without storage my SIL is giving us a few things at a time. I know she's really willing to share so when we set up our get togethers I usually say "We're going to start shopping for activity mats soon. What kind did you use for nephew?" Then I know what she has (and chances that I want it) before she digs it out of storage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911713 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 21:39:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 911713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Follow up question-- does anyone know if you can purchase the hang-y toys for a playmat separately? This is the one I initially turned down but now think I'll keep: <a href="http://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/skip-hop-reg-funky-farmyard-activity-mat/1016634174?categoryId=32157" rel="nofollow">http://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/skip-hop-reg-funky-farmyard-activity-mat/1016634174?categoryId=32157</a><br /> but it's missing most of the toys that hang down (I think there may have been some naughty dogs involved). Can you buy similar things without the mat? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911640 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:56:14 +0000 Foodnerd81 911640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: just a two bed apt, so we don't need things for different floors or have much room for storage. But if I return the new stuff, and the hand me downs don't work, it's not like I can't go rebuy things at bbb! </p> <p>The thing that kind of sucks is the play mat was a gift from my friend who lives down the block- so practically the only person who will come and see the baby regularly. But she is super practical and won't be offended. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911632 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:51:32 +0000 blackbird 911632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have two activity mats. Sometimes, she wants a different one to look at! One keeps her entertained more than the other, but it's nice to have them both. So i'd keep toys and stuff like that....babies do get bored sometimes! Do you have an upstairs and a downstairs? Having two swings is GREAT when you have two floors :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911630 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:51:10 +0000 Foodnerd81 911630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: the irony is that I was hoping my sister would pass on her stroller- bugaboo chameleon! We bought our own UB vista instead but that hand me down would not have been turned away if offered!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911620 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:48:41 +0000 PrincessBaby 911620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Agree with you on the big things! I bought an Uppa Baby Vista and the Jeep stroller my mom bought at a garage sale only reassures me that I was right to spend $650 on it! Even though she spent $10:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911576 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:32:33 +0000 bunnylove08 911576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept what I liked and anything I didn't want (second hand)I gave away for free on the parenting boards. Sometimes its nice to have new things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911524 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:12:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 911524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok I think you have convinced me I'm beig a little pickier than I need to be. The big things I did pick out (stroller, crib) but the smaller things it doesn't matter so much. The extras are going to grandmas house though, so def not to waste. But probably that play may will be just fine, I suppose. </p> <p>Oh and in perfect fairness, both of the moms who are giving me things have two year olds AND just moved in the last two months. So I realize an itemized list is sort of ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911503 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 20:01:12 +0000 sarac 911503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Handmedowns are lovely and very thoughtful, I always really enjoy them. That being said, they require a lot of effort in editing and taking the extra to goodwill if you don't want your house overrun. Honestly, it would be far easier to just buy your own stuff. But it's nice to have thoughtful people in your life, and to save the money. </p> <p>I just got done editing my daughter's clothing (21 months) down. I had fully 5 big boxes of too small clothing, plus a closet full of enough clothing for four kids. I got rid of about 70% of it, mostly to goodwill, some to a friend. It felt great! Handmedowns require a lot of vigilance and willingness to send things along. If you feel obligated to keep it all you'll be overrun quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911463 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:42:07 +0000 rachiecakes 911463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some stuff is used for such a short amount of time. I wish I had taken more hand me downs instead of spending money on them. Especially things like activity mat, toys, bouncers, swing, etc. I only wanted certain ones and by the time DS was 6 months old I had already passed it on to friends who were expecting.<br /> Things I splurged on were carseats, stroller, crib &amp; mattress, bedding, pack n play (we travel a lot). I felt those items were worth it and we still use them at 18months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911437 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:24:23 +0000 Bao 911437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would keep what you want as far as hand me downs and then use the rest as back ups somewhere else, or donate them. We got the bumbo, pack n play and lots of clothes used even though we bought some of it used ourselves. There were certain things we wanted new though, so there is nothing wrong with that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911434 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:21:52 +0000 PrincessBaby 911434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was a snot about all of my baby gear. I HAD to have what I researched/preferred. My mom is World's Craziest Garage Saler. She outfitted their house with used versions of everything I bought (not exact same, just a used baby gym of some other brand/type, a used jumperoo, etc) and if I'm being honest, my daughter is just as happy at my mom's house as she is with her own stuff. My mom cleaned everything and H is like a pig in mud when she plays with all my mom's garage sale finds, so I would say just take the hand me downs. I think you'll think later that it was a waste not to. This is coming from someone who will admit to being kind of stuck up about wanting nice things and very particular about what I like. At the end of the day, we may know the difference between 2 different types of play mars/baby gyms/swings/bouncy chairs, but babies really dont. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911420 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 19:08:00 +0000 SugarplumsMom 911420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're being ungrateful. Part of having a baby is being able to pick out a few things. My DD played with her activity gym for a very long time. We introduced it almost immediately and had it up until she was crawling. I'd put a blanket on top of it and she'd crawl underneath and use it to help prop herself up. So for us, it was well worth the investment. I also loved the fact that I picked it out and wasn't an eyesore --- you will take tons of pictures with the baby on it in the beginning, so it should be something you like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911388 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:40:49 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 911388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I'm dealing with the same thing right now. The people who lent me a TON of gear (and gave me boxes and boxes of clothes) aren't that close to me, however - so if I end up not using something from them, they probably wouldn't notice. </p> <p>That being said - there are some things that I received new at showers that I am returning for store credit, and some things that I am totally hanging on to. </p> <p>The thing with hand-me-downs in my case is that the couple wants the items back. So, when we have our next one, I'll have to go out and buy all new items anyway. Might as well have them gifted at showers now, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911372 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:30:45 +0000 immabeetoo 911372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just sorted stuff out for my family's garage sale and found like 3 or 4 things they would've happily given me... and I bought full price.. if either of us had known they were there :)</p> <p>Honestly, if I were you, I'd suck it up and return the play mat. Baby doesn't care (mine has been on several and is entertained equally by all of them). I don't think you're being a spoiled brat, and I totally get how choosing certain stuff is nesting, and fun, but there are several things I wish I hadn't bought or obsessed over now that LO is here :) Save the $! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911371 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:30:28 +0000 Kemma 911371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're being a spoiled brat at all! Do you think it's possible that your family members are using you as an opportunity to offload the stuff they no longer want?</p> <p>It's a shame they haven't just called you to see if you have a use for the extra stuff! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911367 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:27:19 +0000 yin 911367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my sister was pregnant with her first, I made a list (along with another sister and friend) of items I could lend to her. It was a big task to dig through and figure it out but not too much of a hassle since my LO had just turned one and still had a lot of stuff laying around. It helped her organize and determine what to add to her registry. Plus she could pick and choose from us -- whether to borrow a particular item from one sister or another. We let her borrow the items as she needed so that she didn't have a houseful of toys that her newborn couldn't use right away. This is the ideal situation, but most of the time it doesn't work out that way.</p> <p>Since your hand me downs have been through two kids, it's more difficult to assess what you can and cannot use. Even in great condition, better products have come since then. Heck, even in the past two years since my LO was born a lot has changed. Go ahead and keep the play mat you chose. Don't sweat it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hand-me-downs-vs-new-a-question-and-a-vent#post-911364 Sun, 07 Jul 2013 18:24:46 +0000 LittleFox 911364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I agree with this. Some things, like activity mats, won't differ much and the differences they do have don't seem to matter to babies. Other things, like strollers, can vary quite a bit. If it's important to you to have that specific activity mat, or to pick other items yourself because they fit your needs better (or because you just really want to!), then go get the things you want. Otherwise, I would take the hand me downs and save the money from returned items. If you have space, you might want to save some of the doubles. Unfortunately, babies don't read reviews and sometimes they surprise you by disliking really awesome gear. Plus, it doesn't hurt to have a backup in case of breakage or for grandma's house. </p>