https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 06 Jun 2026 13:34:47 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1160075 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 21:57:27 +0000 sarac 1160075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband did not do any sperm analysis. To be fair, I had a recognized problem with ovulation, so it was clear that clomid stood a good chance of working. But still, there has to be a solution for you here. </p> <p>Home sperm analysis tests exist:</p> <p><a href="http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/spermcheck-fertility-home-sperm-test/ID=prod6094323-product?ext=gooSexual_Wellness_PLA_Fertility_Tests_ampersand_Aids_prod6094323_pla&#038;adtype=" rel="nofollow">http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/spermcheck-fertility-home-sperm-test/ID=prod6094323-product?ext=gooSexual_Wellness_PLA_Fertility_Tests_ampersand_Aids_prod6094323_pla&#038;adtype=</a>{adtype}&amp;kpid=prod6094323&amp;sst=153be918-44aa-aee8-ea82-0000556085f9</p> <p>they mostly test for count, I'd imagine. If my husband were being profoundly unreasonable and refusing to get an SA, I would not be above performing one of those tests at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1160052 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 21:42:31 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 1160052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sending you positive vibes that you can convince DH to get the SA, tell him it's about supporting you and that both of you are on the same team. It has nothing to do with his manhood no matter the outcome. FX for a BFP very soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159946 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 20:38:13 +0000 babycanuck 1159946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: Ok - I will see if I can work up the nerve to ask him this week lol I have two appointments </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159936 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 20:32:54 +0000 travelgirl1 1159936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: Mine was male too. If you feel comfortable, I would ask. The tests are all covered by OHIP :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159926 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 20:29:42 +0000 babycanuck 1159926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelgirl1: That's a great idea. I'm curious if my acupuncturist would refer me, although I would feel so awkward asking him (lol - my GP is female).</p> <p>@mrsmate: lol agreed! I don't think he realizes how good he really does have it!</p> <p>@LindsayInNY: Actively TTC since January, I've been off birth control for almost 3 years now, but we were using other methods of preventing up until that point. I feel like he's so exhausted by O or O+1 that he has to give up fun time lol :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159889 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 20:14:28 +0000 mrsmate 1159889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was prescribed clomid by my OB before DH had to do his SA. But bloodwork had shown that I had only borderline progesterone levels. We weren't referred to the fertility clinic until we'd been thru 6 cycles of clomid.</p> <p>I'm sorry, but I think your DH is being ridiculous! I'm guessing you are much nicer to your husband than I am to mine...mine would have been read the riot act :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159811 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:22:29 +0000 travelgirl1 1159811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: I don't know if this will help but I was referred to a fertility clinic through my acupuncturist - the family doctor was never involved. I can give you the acupuncturists details if you like? DH did have testing done but it was done after I'd seen someone at the fertility clinic and had all my testing done. Maybe this is a way you could get your tests done and speak to someone before your DH gets his done? Let me know if you want the info :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159789 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:09:35 +0000 LindsayInNY 1159789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: For what it's worth, we've been trying since last December. Some months we've missed O entirely, some we "hit" semi, some we "hit" a lot. I've been temping and OPKing since February. Added PreSeed last cycle. There's no rhyme or reason to things and why they work or don't work. Or if they're even helpful! I know you've told me how long you've been TTC but I can't recall now... I agree with someones suggestion above. I would talk about the next step with DH - how much longer to keep TTC, when he'll do a SA so you can do testing, etc. That's basically at that point where we are now. Get DH to commit to a plan of action that he's comfortable with and will stick to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159718 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 17:47:42 +0000 babycanuck 1159718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: I did the temping/charting/have a whole lot of sex around O time, but that's it. I did green tea, prenatals, I don't know that there's anything I can really do to increase opportunity and possibility.</p> <p>@sarac: He didn't have to do any testing at all? Interesting...most people I know have to rule out the guy being part of the issue. I would just go to a local clinic but I'm worried they'll want to start monitoring me for a period of time before giving me a referral. My GP knows the whole story - and I don't have a gyn. She does everything for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159717 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 17:45:41 +0000 sarac 1159717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Woah. I think it is a bit bonkers to let your husband's refusal to get an SA possibly prevent you from ever having children. Can you address your fertility issues elsewhere? Maybe with an Ob/gyn? Or just go to a different family doc to get a referral? Or just talk to yours and tell her that your husband refuses? Something can be done here.</p> <p>I went through the whole clomid process to conceive my daughter without my husband ever doing an SA. This is not so uncommon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159448 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 15:35:21 +0000 LindsayInNY 1159448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>((hugs)) That's frustrating... Have you guys been trying other things along the way, other than just "having lots of sex"? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159392 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 15:12:44 +0000 babycanuck 1159392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Def going to try. I think for the next few weeks instead of fighting with him about everything I'm going to try and take a step back and calm myself down from the inside. Then I can go ahead and call them. The woman was so nice - she said just call back when we're ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159386 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 15:11:20 +0000 pui 1159386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: Ours was "LifeLabs". </p> <p>Yeah, call them again and see what they say. Maybe tell them that your DH isn't comfortable going in and they'll try and work with you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159349 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:58:16 +0000 babycanuck 1159349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: Which lab were you sent to? The one I called was Gamma - they only have two locations that take samples: Brampton and Scarborough. Scarborough is the closest, but maybe I'll call the lady back that I made the original appointment with and ask her if I can just bring it. I can get the sample bottle from her and just wait for him to feel ok with doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159342 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:55:29 +0000 pui 1159342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: Weird, I'm in Ontario too and we were able to "collect" the sample at home and then deliver it to the clinic, which was actually 45 minutes away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159339 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:53:28 +0000 babycanuck 1159339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: That was the first thing I asked and I was told he has to be there, they need the sample within 20-30 minutes for testing. I don't know if I would be able to get there quick enough during the hours they are open. I'm sure there are other labs out there but my doc would have to give me that referral and I don't know if she deals with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159337 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:50:26 +0000 swedishfish 1159337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: maybe your DH is uncomfortable with the idea of "donating" for the SA at the hospital or clinic. If you live close enough to the drop off place they might let him collect at home. My DH collected at home each time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159322 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:45:11 +0000 shopaholic 1159322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you are going through this. :( {HUGS} I just don't understand why he won't get an SA. Unless he's scared of the outcome or has something to hide (sorry, that's my suspicious Scorpio nature). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159301 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:36:56 +0000 pui 1159301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: Seriously I am pissed at your husband for you lol. If there is nothing wrong, a super easy SA will confirm that. It's not a big deal, just do it grrr.</p> <p>My husband also put off getting his SA. I had to nag him for months before he finally went in and just did it. I don't get it. Does he think I wanted to get an HSG and a Endometrial biopsy?? Those hurt my pride and then some lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159289 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:33:43 +0000 babycanuck 1159289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He is convinced that there's nothing wrong and just need to have more sex. Honestly - I think it hurt his pride when I asked him to go. Men, I tell ya, I want to smack them most of the time. lol.</p> <p>Regardless we are still just DTD with no protection. Maybe if my heart and mind come to terms with not having kids it'll just happen. Stress does weird things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159250 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:27:12 +0000 pui 1159250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Augh!! I've said this already but I am so frustrated for you!! I really think you need to have a tough heart-to-heart with your DH over this. Getting a sperm analysis is super easy and he should just get it over with. Why won't he do it!? My only explanation is that maybe he is afraid of the results, but I know you had some testing done, so him not wanting to do a simple test really isn't fair to you.</p> <p>Also, don't give up hope yet!! You may still conceive naturally or through the help of an RE in the future. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159233 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:18:31 +0000 doxielove 1159233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babycanuck: I'm sorry. That's definitely a bummer that DH is still refusing to go through with an SA. Has he elaborated why? I know before you said it was because he wants to try for a few more months...can you guys strike up a compromise? E.G., You'll keep trying without testing for 3 more months and then go in at that point for the SA?</p> <p>((hugs)) I feel you. IVF is completely out of our (financial) reach, so we've been coming to terms with the fact that if we keep being unsuccessful, the end of the TTC road isn't too far off... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-but-sad#post-1159220 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:11:01 +0000 babycanuck 1159220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Disclaimer: This is just a vent. I'm not trying to say anyone is better or worse than other people.</p> <p>I'm super happy about some news this week - one of my work BFFs has started her monitoring and will soon be on clomid through a clinic. I'm so excited because it's been a long and tough process for her, and while we both know it isn't over, she's one step closer to a possible second LO.</p> <p>But I can't help but be jealous. DH still refuses to go for SA testing, and my family doctor will not give me a referral to a fertility clinic until we get this. I understand where she's coming from - they're going to want the SA regardless, and my DH is being totally unreasonable. I just can't help the feeling inside that we may never get to that point. I've also been working on adapting my feelings and doing my best to come to terms with the fact that with the way things are, we may not have kids, and I need to be okay with that. (Side note: I was okay with that before - DH said kids were important, I was indifferent, but my feelings changed after we made a decision to start trying last year).</p> <p>Sorry for the vent!! </p>