https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 17:40:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321749 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 06:46:22 +0000 MsMamaBear 1321749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never been married, but I don't like that saying either. I like the happy spouse one. Both people should be happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321738 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 05:55:13 +0000 mjane 1321738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I hate the original saying--I find it totally offensive--BUT clinically there's some evidence to back it up! I.e. married men's happiness is much more dependent on their female partners' levels of happiness than vice-versa. So, for example, rates of PPD in men are strongly correlated to rates of PPD in their partners, etc., while the reverse is not true. (And, although correlation doesn't equal causation, there's some evidence that it's the case here.) Some hypothesize that for men, wives are a primary source of emotional support, whereas women tend to have a lot of other sources of support (close friends, family). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321722 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 04:47:00 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 1321722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love the "Happy Spouse, Happy House" It is very true, if my husband is in a bad mood and not happy it can be just as bad as me in a bad mood and not happy. But my husband will say "happy wife, happy life" when he does something for me and I think he would agree with that comment. I find it sweet, not sexist. But my husband is an amazing guy who loves and respects me and wants me happy. I can see how a different guy could say that with a different tone and come off belittling . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321716 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 03:51:43 +0000 mamimami 1321716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband heard this saying early on in our relationship and he says it all the time. You know, it definitely goes both ways but I think in general men can be content more easily than women... To make some gross generalizations, they compartmentalize, they don't overthink things, they enjoy the simple things, etc. So maybe they need a little extra reminder to go for those little details that make women happy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321690 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 02:18:48 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1321690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: said it best! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321682 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 01:50:07 +0000 hellocupcake 1321682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: @NurseMommy: &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321661 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 01:07:30 +0000 lemondrop 1321661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our officiant actually put that in our wedding ceremony, it got a huge laugh and surprised us, but the way he explained it was really sweet. </p> <p>I think it is true to a degree- I manage the household- cooking, cleaning, maintenance, supplies, pets, and kiddo (most of the time). If I'm tired, sick, or unhappy, then things just don't get done well or at all. It isn't so much of keeping me in a particular lifestyle, it's mostly knowing that he cares and supports what I do. Take care of me, and I will take care of him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321638 Mon, 06 Jan 2014 00:03:34 +0000 Kimberlybee 1321638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it is a very nice saying and not at all implying that the wife has a selfish agenda. In fact it's quite the opposite. In most households, the wife and/or mother is the thread that ties the family together. She wears so many hats daily as the chef, nurse, housemaid, accountant etc and just gives and gives her time and self to everyone. So in order to maintain the peace of the house, it just makes sense to keep her happy. Happiness is relative too, it doesn't take much to make me happy these days, seeing my husband interacting with LO to give me a break, or going to a Target solo is total happiness these days! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321632 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 23:54:07 +0000 Kimberlybee 1321632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: I really like both of your lines!!! Very wise. :grin: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321631 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 23:54:03 +0000 NurseMommy 1321631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: perfect saying! We could make it simpler like the original too - "happy spouse, happy house". </p> <p>I agree that the reminder to be considerate of each other is a very good thing, and while I don't particularly like the original saying, I do find that it seems to be true in our house. But like @Greentea: when LO is happy, I'm happy. So... Maybe "happy child, no one's riled"? Lol okay that was bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321583 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:49:59 +0000 mrs. bird 1321583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: bonus points! That counts for a month! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321558 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:36:00 +0000 indi 1321558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: I try to think of one witty thing each week. Done! ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321556 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:34:35 +0000 Cole 1321556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: I like your phrase! It sums up my sentiments exactly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321555 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:33:25 +0000 Cole 1321555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't love the saying but it is true here. The flip side is, the best way to keep me happy is for my husband to be happy but happy husband happy life doesn't have the same ring to it. Happiness for both of us comes from consideration for each other, time spent together and time to ourselves, not silly material things. Flowers are great but they aren't a driving force behind happiness (arguably though, my husband thinking I would enjoy them and bringing them home would be a big happiness booster.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321551 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:31:35 +0000 mrs. bird 1321551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@indi: shut up! did you really just come up with that?! genius! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321549 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:29:22 +0000 indi 1321549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jessibear: Be considerate of your spouse and there will be happiness in the house? ;-)</p> <p>I think the "happy wife, happy life" saying, while sexist, is a good little reminder to be considerate of each other. It may have originated during a time when women ran the household, etc, while men were the "head of the house" and made the major decisions. While we personally don't follow the whole "man in charge" set-up, it may have come about as a way to remind men that decisions for the home affect the wife, which will, in fact, affect him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321545 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:27:49 +0000 MrsSCB 1321545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really like this saying. I feel like it's a bit patronizing, like, "just keep that little wife happy, otherwise your life will be a living hell!" I think part of my problem is that keeping someone "happy" doesn't necessarily require you to be genuine or honest, and I think it could encourage burying issues in order to not stir up trouble. Maybe I'd feel it was less patronizing if it was "happy spouse, happy life," but since there's no equivalent (I've never heard "happy husband, happy life") it makes me feel like it perpetuates the stereotype of women as humorless shrews you just want to placate at all costs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321543 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:26:47 +0000 Greentea 1321543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: along the same lines for us. Me being happy is listening to me tell you about my day, treating me with respect, talking to me about your day, being respectful... things that make a good relationship. His life is easier when I am happy! He would rather keep me happy with these things... I think I bring a lot lot lot lot to his life that he never thought he would have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321536 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:21:33 +0000 mrs. bird 1321536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't know about other people &amp; their relationships, but for us it's true. when i'm happy, i take care of things and life around here is great. piss me off and you can find your own dinner &amp; get up early to make your own coffee 'cause i'm not going out of my way to take care of someone who's not keeping me happy. by 'keeping me happy', i mean being home for dinner if you say you're going to be home, calling if you're running late, making time to spend together, just being considerate &amp; kind. when someone makes me happy, i want to go out of my way to make them happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321524 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:17:01 +0000 Greentea 1321524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All I know is my husband is happy when I am happy. Right now I am happy when LO is happy. I asked my grampa his life advice when I was an adolescent and he said, "keep your husband happy. (I was like 12 or something) And don't take no shit from nobody!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/happy-wife-happy-life#post-1321513 Sun, 05 Jan 2014 22:07:19 +0000 jessibear 1321513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It seems like this saying is everywhere and universally agreed upon. What do you think? I feel like this type of thinking does nothing but give approval for selfishness. Don't get me wrong, there have been times I wish my husband would live a little more by this mantra, but where's the balance? Is there a more gender-neutral equivalent? I definitely think life is much happier when I'm working hard to get along with and enjoy B and vice versa, not just a one way street! </p>