https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 12:46:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972780 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 15:40:41 +0000 Cherrybee 1972780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel the same right now. I love my job - and my daughter of course - but the daily grind of waking up to a toddler crying for you every single morning, trying to get ready while simultaneously reading the same book over and over, driving in traffic to drop LO off then commuting a further 25 miles to work, managing the team from hell, commuting back, collecting LO who by this point is super grumpy, getting her to bed, listening to her cry for an hour, cooking dinner, cleaning up, starting at the back of DH's phone while he ignores me, going to bed and getting woken up at least once per night is wearing really, really thin. I miss the happy, fun me too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972710 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 15:03:56 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1972710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I have felt this way all year. In 2014 I got no time for myself to do anything. I feel like I spent my time outside of the office catching up on work assignments at home, cooking, grocery shopping, or taking care of LO. Plus, I don't sleep well AND LO wakes up everyday extremely early. </p> <p>It's hard. What I try to do the most is to be present in my evening times with LO. Right now she eats dinner before I get home. While I'm home I make sure we play, hang out, etc. I try to put away work, my cell phone and other things. </p> <p>That said, I hope for more me time in 2015. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972657 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 14:27:06 +0000 Revel 1972657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the vein of what @PrincessBaby: @looch: said, while there are things I would change, I actually like being a working mom. I was in a job that I was not happy with, lost it and was out of work for a while, and now have a job that I like, and I think that's part of it. The time off was also enlightening in that I realized SAH was not for me... before that I think I romanticized it. </p> <p>Another thing that helps is short commutes and that daycare is a short walk from home. I know that doesn't fit everyone's situation but I think cutting down on that "lost" time helps a lot.</p> <p>So I guess if you wanted advice, I would do what I could to simplify my day in your position. In this vein also I rarely cook on work days. We do leftovers and the crockpot. It is not exciting but it takes a huge stressor out of the equation. </p> <p>Lastly, the best parenting advice I ever got, "this too shall pass." Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972637 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 14:16:10 +0000 mrbee 1972637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: The grind has been wearing me down lately too. I realized that I just haven't been sleeping enough, probably because I started drinking a lot of caffeine and it was really affecting my sleep. Plus my daughter has been waking up in the middle of the night every other night or so. The sleep deprivation was destroying my mood, and I was feeling really down.</p> <p>I cut back on caffeine and finally caught up a bit on sleep and am feeling so much better!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972632 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 14:13:46 +0000 lizzywiz 1972632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: sleep, yes, always the sleep. So stereotypical but so true. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972628 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 14:12:19 +0000 lizzywiz 1972628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PrincessBaby: @NovBaby1112: interesting point about work. Mine falls into 2 categories: client care and administrative. On the days I get to do client care, which I love, I am in a much better space than the days I have nothing but billing and documentation. Definitely something to think about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972578 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 13:40:28 +0000 .twist. 1972578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. I'm feeling exactly like you, maybe even to the point of depression. I tend to miss my "old self". I'm trying to decide how to fix it, but just so much is going on right now and I don't know where to start. </p> <p>I hope you find some way to get a little spark back! </p> <p>*hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972570 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 13:33:12 +0000 NovBaby1112 1972570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally agree with everything @PrincessBaby said. I had a job I hated (easy, but super super boring, time just dragged and stood still, commute sucked) and I was really unhappy with the whole work/life/daycare grind. Every day I thought about just staying home with LO. I've been at my new job about 2 months now and life is 100% better and I just feel so much more happier now. I really enjoy my job and working now, but I also am so much more happier at home too now that I feel more fulfilled, if that makes sense. I know it's not feasible for everyone to just go get a new job if you don't like your current situation, but it's worth looking into if that's the reason you are unhappy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972408 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 11:59:24 +0000 PrincessBaby 1972408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Are you happy at your job? I got a job last year that I absolutely love. I work 40-50 hours a week but doing something that I love and that I feel well reimbursed for makes me feel happy with the hecticness. I don't feel like the "grind" is a waste because I feel fulfilled at work and about my contribution to our family, so it's pretty easy for me to accept the madness and roll with it. I had a job before that I HATED and I resented leaving my LO every day to do something that felt like such a waste of my life. It actually drove me to try SAH for a while, but long story short, I ended up perusing job openings and literally happened upon a job that changed my life and my outlook. I feel worthy and a sense of pride, and appreciated by my boss and my company. I never dreamed life could be like this. My husband is gone a lot for work, and so I solo parent 50% of the time, doing all of the daily grind myself. I always get told "I don't know how you do it..." But I'm happy and so we just do it.</p> <p>So I didn't post this to be annoying and jolly, but making a change like a career move that makes you happier and validates all the effort you make every day is just maybe something that might help?</p> <p>Good luck :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972275 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 10:41:47 +0000 alohaorchid 1972275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have kids but I definitely understand how you feel. I get up between 5-5:30, get ready, feed the dogs, take them out, tidy up from last night, go to work. It's a 45-60 minute commute to work, then I'm here for 8 hours. Then another 45-60 min commute home. Get groceries, feed the dogs, take them for a walk, cook dinner, eat dinner. By this time it's usually around 7pm and I still have cleaning to do, as well as get things ready for the next day. Not to mention the days when I have other plans, or I want to do something else or workout. Some weeks it feels like it's never ending and I will never have time to do anything other than work/cook/clean/shop. </p> <p>On Wednesday I took a half day and spent the afternoon going for a casual lunch and Christmas shopping. I left downtown early enough to avoid rush hour traffic and it made a HUGE difference in how I have been feeling. Is it possible for you to take some time to yourself every once in a while as a break? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972207 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 10:06:12 +0000 catlady 1972207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get where you're coming from and have been working on this myself. I'm in a pretty good place now (mostly) and what I figured out is I need three things to stay sane: sleep, little moments of "me time", and social time. For my "me time", I've started listening to podcasts to try to enjoy my commute more, and I've started meditating before I go to bed (I splurged and got a subscription to Headspace). I mean to start working out too, I know that always makes me feel better. The social stuff is harder because it seems we are always too busy but DH and I are trying to actually go out more, either by ourselves or with friends. Sleep is a wildcard because it so depends on LO but right now she is doing ok.</p> <p>The other thing I've been trying to do is not be so hard on myself, not worry about being the perfect parent or the perfect wife or whatever, and just feel good about doing what I'm doing. It's subtle but I think there is so much pressure on parents and just people in general these days, it can really bring you down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972196 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:58:59 +0000 lizzywiz 1972196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Tiger: "happy go lucky" is the perfect way to describe the missing piece.<br /> @Little Misters Mom: "If you are finding moments of quiet joy is each day, you're probably doing ok.." I didn't even know it, but this is exactly what I needed to hear. :heart: </p> <p>Ladies, as always, thank you. Commiserating + helpful hints is the perfect cocktail.</p> <p>There isn't much I can change with the resources I have now, but I can do a girls' night out Saturday (I wasn't going to because I am tired but realize now it may energize me), and I can stop feeling bad about not dancing while I cook dinner and change diapers :silly:<br /> (seriously, I used to randomly sing and dance, lol) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972195 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:58:28 +0000 autumnlove 1972195@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs. I definitely went through phases like this during LO 1's first year....usually during a 3 hour commute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972188 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:51:33 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 1972188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Recently I've been struggling with a variety of things (no kids yet, so I can't completely relate) and this quote really helped me:<br /> "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."<br /> It has now kind of become my mantra and I find that I apply it to almost everything.<br /> I wish I could be more helpful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972184 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:46:01 +0000 ShootingStar 1972184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I might be weird, but I've always kind of liked the daily grind. Of course it's always good to get a break from it - work from home day, mental health day, vacation, etc. But I set up my life in a way that I enjoy. If I didn't like it, I would work to change it. </p> <p>Probably the hardest thing about my day is dinner prep and cleanup. Most days I prepare a normal meal, but I'm always on the lookout for stuff that's quick to heat up and still tastes good. But some days we just order a pizza or cook scrambled eggs.</p> <p>Can you identify what it is about your day that gets to you the most? Your job? Your commute? Trying to get everything done at night? Maybe if you can find a couple ways to make some small changes, it might help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972183 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:44:30 +0000 looch 1972183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yesterday I was in a meeting and we were literally laughing so hard I was crying, and I caught myself thinking "How lucky am I that this is my job?"</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I don't want to get out of bed and start the day before the sun even rises, but for the most part, I like my job, I like my routine, I like my life. I think a lot if it has to do with the fact that I have a LOT of help and I don't have to think about a lot of administrative things during the week. My son is with my parents, he loves his school.</p> <p>I am also happier with less, I've discovered. I used to be all about the big goals, but now, I am happy if my son sleeps through the night and if my husband picks his socks up off the floor at night.</p> <p>Big hugs, lizzywiz! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972180 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:40:20 +0000 Rockies11 1972180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When things are a particular grind (and they have been lately with busy work, a move, an an HG pregnancy) I think what helps me find joy is the thought that these years with LOs who need us so much, and are so small and sweet and dependant are so short that I shouldn't be wishing them away! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972179 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:40:12 +0000 Corduroy 1972179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sleep has a lot to do with how you feel. For me it is sleep and traffic. Last night I didn't sleep (pregnancy insomnia + teething toddler) and it's raining so traffic will be crappy. I'm still sitting on the couch dreading starting my day.</p> <p>I try to find small breaks in the day to breathe and do something for myself. Get away for a few minutes at lunch or park the car at home at the end of the day and walk the stroller to day care. Just taking ten minutes to myself to do that helps me out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972169 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:32:29 +0000 Bubbles 1972169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm certainly no expert but fwiw I don't think you sound depressed. I'm a sahm and I still have lots of times where I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel and repeating the same things over and over again. I'm in awe of working parents and how you manage to switch gears in your mind so often! Like others have said I find it so helpful to take a little time for yourself as often as possible, and just do something purely selfish - usually this refreshes me and gives me more energy to get back to the day to day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972165 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:30:27 +0000 Little Misters Mom 1972165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you read the book "All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting" by Jennifer Senior? It tackles the question of how people with children are simultaneously happier and more miserable. I don't know that it provides answers, but it might help give some perspective that this is a shared experience.</p> <p>One thing that helps me is trying to remember that "happy" is not the default emotional state for most people. It you are finding moments of quiet joy is each day, you're probably doing ok. Also, parenting at different stages is a different experience. You may find that parenting a 5 year old who can go on adventures and is more self-sufficient brings out the old you. So it may be a question of just sort of surviving certain stages. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972164 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:30:11 +0000 JennyG 1972164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kind of like the routine of it. I'm more focused and get so much more done now during the week, that I can relax a little more on the weekend. </p> <p>Pre-LO, my weekends were always running here and there, always on the go. Now, I'm much more of a homebody and loving it. </p> <p>I agree with @Mrs. Tiger: that I need something to look forward to. It doesn't have to be much. Sometimes its something yummy for dinner or a TV show on demand after LO is in bed. Today, it's that I get to go to Target KID-FREE. It's the little things. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972163 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:29:12 +0000 yoursilverlining 1972163@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you take some time for yourself to recharge your batteries, so to speak? I definitely get worn thin and feel like I’m in a rut and like my life is not my own (there’s always something that needs to be done, more work to do, less time to do it, etc.). When I take a day, or half day off work and just chill, I’m much, much happier and better for weeks after. I don’t think anyone can run at 100% indefinitely – sometimes you just need some YOU time, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972156 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:27:44 +0000 FairSeas 1972156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you. We aren't quite as deep into toddlerhood as you are (though he just started sleeping through the night a 2 months ago). , but there are days and weeks when I feel like the grind of it is getting to me. I try to pick a spot in the future to focus on (a weekend, a big, fun event, something) that has helped me some. The only other suggestions I have are really going to depend on your resources :/ Is it possible for you to plan a "mental health day" and stay home while you still send your child to daycare? That can be very recharging! And also give you something to look forward too. Are there any household activities that you can outsource? Can you have someone come in 1-2 times a month to help you with cleaning, can you use grocery delivery/pick-up service, things along those lines. Sometimes getting a break from those really mundane chores (Even if it's only a brief respite) might give you a little breathing room and time to recharge. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972148 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:26:12 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 1972148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mr T always gets on me for how less happy go lucky I am now. The only thing I've found that helps is having things to look forward to, like mini trips or meeting up with friends or even watching a particular movie after the kids are in bed. If there's nothing but the daily grind in front of me I get discouraged too! I wish I had better advice, sorry love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972142 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:23:01 +0000 blackbird 1972142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind it, honestly. Some weeks are really a giant PITA but most of the time, I'm just kinda like...wake up, get her dressed, take her to daycare, work, come home, do PM stuff. </p> <p>I definitely take a vacation day now and then to recharge my own batteries!!! I took one yesterday and lounged around, watched tv, got a pedicure, etc. It really really helps refresh me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972138 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:22:27 +0000 Chillybear 1972138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Seeing my baby's face the moment i walk in the door at daycare is literally the best, most enjoyable part of my day. We are in the car easily for an hour each way and by the time we get home i get to see her and spend time with her for all of 2 hours and its the hardest two hours of my life. Being torn from wanting to spend time with her and play to trying to get dinner on the table and cleaned up then starting our bedtime routine. She's exhausted from a very long full day so she's not always in the best mood, I feel like during the week i only see her at her worst. then its rinse and repeat. I dont know if i could do the sahm thing but i would love 6 hours days at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972119 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:11:07 +0000 lizzywiz 1972119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: "I don't know if commiserating is what you were looking for but...that's what I'm giving you."</p> <p>commiseration is my drug of choice- bring it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972112 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:07:34 +0000 mediagirl 1972112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you. The work/home/daycare grind is Hell. It was hard as a baby because I worried constantly about her. It's hard at 2.5 because she takes foreverrrrrr to get ready to leave in the morning. It's so many wasted hours of driving just to get to daycare, to work, to daycare, to home. Right now I have it sort of easy because my husband is at home and can help out. Next month that won't be the case and all the daycare pickups and drop offs will be on me again. I am so miserable just thinking about it.</p> <p>I think it got better for me when I finally just accepted it. I HAVE to do this. I HAVE to work to survive, to give our family what we need to have a good life, to provide for our lo. </p> <p>It never really gets easier, I don't think. Even after she's in school, it will be the same because we will still have to drop off and pick up at early and after care. It sucks. There is no better way of saying it.</p> <p>I don't know if commiserating is what you were looking for but...that's what I'm giving you. :)</p> <p>Hang in there and come in here to complain when you need to. There are many others in the same shoes as you. Also, I used to be Pollyanna before LO, as well. Then I got a big wash of reality and boom. Not so much a pollyanna anymore. :/ I try to just look forward to my vacation days. I don't get a lot of them but those I do get, I try to really enjoy with my lo (and sometimes enjoy a day without her). :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-anyone-found-joy-in-the-homeworkdaycare-grind#post-1972102 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 09:01:00 +0000 lizzywiz 1972102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is clearly not a cheerful post, and frankly, I am getting sick of my own lack of cheer.<br /> I am not grumpy or sad or depressed (I don't think), so much as I am just worn thin from the home/work/daycare grind that I feel like I don't have the energy it takes to be cheerful and jubilant. I constantly find a quiet joy in the antics of my LO or a kind thing DH does, but it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud these days.</p> <p>Let me put it this way- prior to LO, people described me as a Pollyanna...not so much anymore.</p> <p>This made sense for the first year but now we are at 2.5...and I still think this parenting schtick is exhausting!</p> <p>(to be fair, LO's health problems act up at night, so there are a 1-2 nights a week with broken or little sleep if we are up doing breathing treatments).</p> <p>I feel like it would be helpful if I could stop worrying/ lamenting about not being as cheerful and energetic as I was pre-baby but it is hard not to miss my own easy smile.</p> <p>Does that make sense?</p> <p>I would love to hear from other moms who get what I am talking about!</p> <p>PS-I don't *think* I am depressed but if anyone has insight feel free to share. </p>