https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 06:47:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533646 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:41:10 +0000 Cherrybee 533646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Really?? Friends from Coventry?? It really is the smallest of small worlds!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533630 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:37:26 +0000 Mrsbells 533630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Oh cool I have friends from there, but never been that far norht. the furthest north I've been is bedford &amp; gloucester </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533609 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:29:55 +0000 Cherrybee 533609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: In Coventry. In fact, here is a slide show/film clip about the area </p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-12894589" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-12894589</a></p> <p>I grew up there - wow - we're talking 20-30 years ago!!! Now, you still have the Pakistani and Indian communities living there but the area also provides a welcoming home for Polish immigrants who have come to work and for asylum seekers from various parts of the world. </p> <p>It;s what makes me proud to be British, you know? There are pockets of racism here like everywhere else but, in the main, we are so diverse, so welcoming.... I love it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533544 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:11:45 +0000 Mrsbells 533544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Haha love it! where in UK did you grow up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533540 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:08:56 +0000 Mrsbells 533540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do worry about this, so far my baby is the only African american afro haired girl in the infant room, and the toddler room. I wonder if this will affect her as she gets older and if other children will make mean comments about her skin and hair. Most of the other children in her class are caucasian with a few that may be hispanic and one asian </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533519 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:01:21 +0000 Cherrybee 533519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in an area in my City (in the UK) that that had mostly Pakistani, Bangladeshi and Indian families living there. There were only a handful of white children in my class and I was one of them. They used to wear such beautiful clothes and came to school wearing scarves and bangles and mendhi patterns on their hands. I wanted to dress like them so badly and used to beg my mum to let me wear pretty clothes but she refused, sending me to school in jeans and sweashirts! I only got to dress like my friends when we did Indian dance performances (I loved the dancing!!). </p> <p>Anyway the point of this back story is this - I used to day-dream that we'd find out that I'd been swapped at the hospital and I wasn't really their child. My parents were really Indian!! I knew it!!! In the day-dream, I'd get swapped back! Honestly, I don't think it occurred to me for one second that I was ice-white with red hair and blue eyes and they all had brown skin! It was like I just didn't see it!! </p> <p>I mean - look!! Swapped at birth??? </p> [attach=2581/13/mhe72a.450x600.WP_001374.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533361 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:49:55 +0000 MamaG 533361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOs current daycare isn't hugely diverse. She has a middle-eastern girl, a western european/Russian block girl and a Canadian in her class. One of the teachers is hispanic and one of the directors that helps in her class is also middle eastern.</p> <p>In her prior daycare, one of her favorite friends was African-American. And she so far seems more drawn to personality/disposition than any other trait in people. She's a happy and social child and likes anyone that pays her some attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533345 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:35:05 +0000 Lozza 533345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is almost 22 months, and has never explicitly remarked on skin color, though if we're out and he can kind of see a kid around his age, he'll ask if its one of his daycare friends, and if it's a kid with red hair, he'll always ask if it's James (who also has red hair) and if it's an African American girl, he'll always ask if it's Lilah (who is also African American).<br /> DH and I haven't really thought about deliberately starting conversations with LO about diversity, but I'm starting to think that we should- I like the idea of using books as a conversation starter (@Mrs. Cowgirl: I'll check out the ones you mentioned!). We live in DC (a big city) and our daycare is pretty diverse, so I guess we've never worried about LO not realizing that people don't all have the same skin color, but I think we kind of defaulted into thinking that we'd just wait for LO to start asking questions or making comments. Now I'm thinking we should be more proactive about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-533301 Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:03:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 533301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Great article. </p> <p>I remember being teased for being non-white on a playground when I was 7 or 8, but my parents nor my teachers used that as a lesson to point out I was different (bad/less than). I didn't realize being non-white was different (bad/ less than/disadvantaged) until I was older and a teacher required I sit through a video of protestors getting water hosed and police dogs attacking them. The teacher told me I could not leave the room because me out of everyone else should know this part of my history. I remember thinking this was American history, I'm American just like my other classmates and friends and this is our history. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530660 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 00:28:37 +0000 daniellemybelle 530660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: What stands out for me from my childhood were questions about why I looked different from my mom. Especially since my mom divorced and remarried a white guy when I was 7, both children and adults were always asking "where I was from" or if I was adopted. I'm sure there were questions or comments about my skin color not in that context, but those pointing at my identity or whether I "belonged" to my family were the most hurtful and are the ones that stand out the most.</p> <p>That said, I think it really was helpful that I always felt loved, special and beautiful. My family made it very clear that they thought my unique looks were beautiful so if anything I liked looking different. In some ways, I think it was a little harder for my brother, because his looks were not as "exoticized" as mine. Now that he is a young adult, he is mistaken for a non-English speaking blue collar worker on a frequent basis... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530617 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:49:36 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: That's sweet :) Did you have any experiences like my friend's child in school? I guess I'm kind of shocked because of the major diversity of where they live... but I think a lot of people don't ever really discuss race, which leads kids to draw some strange and unintended conclusions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530612 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:45:37 +0000 daniellemybelle 530612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's sad about your friend's daughter. :(</p> <p>I don't have a LO but I think it is very normal. I am biracial, and my mom said I noticed it and talked about it from a very early age - probably Lala's age. I used to ask how I got to be the color I am, and she used the analogy of coffee - Daddy was the coffee, Mommy was the cream, and put them together, and that's why I look the way I do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530591 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:10:43 +0000 Maysprout 530591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lala is so verbal! LO is 20 months and doesn't string together sentences yet but she does like to point out things that are different and when someone has a boo boo but hasn't seemed to notice skin color yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530489 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 21:07:40 +0000 Mrs. Bee 530489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Charlie started bringing it up when he was a little over two. He referred to skin color as "orange" or "brown." It really surprised me the first time he brought it up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530466 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 20:49:44 +0000 Mrs. Cowgirl 530466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>he hasn't said much, which is interesting to me because we have a pretty diverse group of friends, so i would have thought it would have come up. i've asked lil' CB what color he is and he's told me he is orange or green. :)</p> <p>we do try to read lots of books about diversity -- my favorites are shades of people by shelley rotner and whoever you are by mem fox. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530372 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 20:05:24 +0000 Honeybee 530372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: that would be great! Feel free to give her my email! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530362 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 20:01:51 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: around there it's pretty much range rovers and pearls... But I do have a friend who lives out there. I'll have to hook you up. Her son is AFrican American and she's super cool! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530344 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:51:54 +0000 Honeybee 530344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Hahahah! At least we know some liberal city folk nearby. ;) I RSVP'ed for this event before I read down a little farther to see that their next "Dad's Day Out" event is at a shooting range. I don't think we'll last very long, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530336 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:40:57 +0000 Andrea 530336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD hasn't brought it up but her favorite teachers and friends at daycare have been African American. Coincidence? I don't know, but it is interesting! (DD is half Asian, half Caucasian) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530334 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:40:15 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: where you live? For sure! We were run out of all the groups pretty quick. We still go to a transracial adoption one occasionally. They put up with us because our daughter is brown ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530333 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:38:40 +0000 Honeybee 530333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Lol I hope so! We're going to a mom's group meetup tomorrow and I have a feeling I'm going to be run out of the group. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530331 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:37:03 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Honeybee: well, I'm sure your kids will hang out with our friends eventually, so they'll get plenty of diversity!</p> <p>I want to link to the Newsweek Nurtureshock excerpt... <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530309 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:13:50 +0000 Honeybee 530309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD hasn't noticed yet, or at least she hasn't started commenting yet. It seems like our area is pretty homogenous (at least on the outings we've done so far) so I don't feel like we get a lot of natural exposure to race. We do try to read/watch YouTube videos with characters of varying races, but I know I should try to be a little more proactive in starting these conversations... you're my inspiration @Mrs. Jacks! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530236 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 17:46:28 +0000 SweetMamaM 530236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think at her age it's more just a point of difference rather than anything else, although it makes me sad to hear about your friend's child. My sister is intellectually disabled and had a mental capacity of around a three year old when my sister started dating a Maori guy. We're pretty much as pale as they come and so there was a lot of "T is brown and I am white" conversation going on, but nothing racially charged behind it. As long as you are having those discussions that people come in all shapes, sizes, colours, etc, I think she'll grow up with a really sensible attitude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530200 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:55:38 +0000 heffalump 530200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lo is 18 months and she hasn't noticed yet. She isn't in daycare, but we do go to gymboree and the library a lot and there are lots of people of different races there. So far I just encourage her to play and be nice to everyone ..... honestly I haven't thought much about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530184 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:32:43 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: Yes, I've read it and I believe I have a blog post that cites it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530178 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:29:05 +0000 mrsmate 530178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you heard of the book Nurture Shock? It has a really interesting chapter on race and kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530174 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:27:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When she picked brown as her favorite color, she asked me what mine was and I chose black. She asked why and I said, "Because black is beautiful". I really want that message to come through loud and clear in our mixed family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530161 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:14:24 +0000 ineebee 530161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a great topic! As a hopeful mom-to-be, I'm curious what you moms have experienced. </p> <p>As a teacher, I've noticed that there is a clear difference between kids whose parents make an effort to "promote love of all skin colors" (I love how you put that @Mrs. Jacks) versus those who don't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/has-your-lo-noticed-skin-color#post-530156 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 16:02:20 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 530156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When Lala was about 18 months, she would see brown children and say, "He's like {best friend's name}". So I know she noticed color at around that time.</p> <p>But the other day she told me that her favorite color was brown. When I asked why, she said it was it was because it was the color of her sister and best friend's skin.</p> <p>A friend had an opposite experience this week with her child coming home from school crying because another child made a comment about her skin color.</p> <p>My heart breaks that this all happens so early.</p> <p>So is your little one noticing skin color? Are you talking about it? What are you doing to promote love of all skin colors? </p>