https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 15:01:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long/page/2#post-2615301 Fri, 02 Sep 2016 10:16:53 +0000 T-Mom 2615301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope they make the necessary corrections. My peanut allergic daughter also ingested a pb cracker by accident when she was in day care. It was the scariest thing, but it turned out ok and the day care was very apologetic and fixed things. It sucks that it happened this way, but as long as they correct it and it doesn't happen again, it should be ok. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long/page/2#post-2615199 Fri, 02 Sep 2016 06:03:14 +0000 Adira 2615199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: Good for you for stepping up and having that necessary conversation!! I know it had to have been hard. &lt;3 I know that for us, once I spoke to the director, I didn't have any further issues with that teacher regarding food, so hopefully the same is true for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long/page/2#post-2615178 Fri, 02 Sep 2016 00:17:18 +0000 808love 2615178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad you had a meeting with them! Good job handling it, Mama Bear! Your kids need an advocate and you stepped up to the plate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long/page/2#post-2615164 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 22:31:29 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2615164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes, I see you already met with her, but just fwiw... I have had to talk to my kid's teachers about a certain situation that wasn't their fault but I really had to make sure they were handling it. I didn't want to be THAT parent, and I still try to be an easier one to deal with, but realistically, it is my job to put my kid above everyone else. Yes, I am respectful and I respect their expertise and even take their recommendations seriously as far as ways to help at home- I really like dd's teachers. However, I feel that the best thing is to just have clear expectations from the start. If they think you don't mind, they won't mind either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2615013 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 18:20:19 +0000 KayKay 2615013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@happybaker: is there another classroom of the same age that they could move your kid(s) to? i'd potentially be willing to give them another chance with DS (since i know how grabby young kids can be...it can happen before you have a chance to react....but still, they should be WAY more on top of it and definitely notify you immediately). but i'd have a lot of concerns about leaving DD with that other teacher, who sounds like she both doesn't follow OR respect the rules that they have in place. you specifically have seen her break these ones (and then make awful comments acting like it's your fault), but who knows what other ones she chooses not to follow?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614969 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 17:24:09 +0000 MrsSRS 2614969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have any allergenic kids in my class this year, but we have some who sent in alternatives to cow's milk to have with our meals and you better believe I tracked down their parents to check that they could still have cheese, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614968 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 17:20:16 +0000 MrsSRS 2614968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I think I know why. I teach in a daycare and the turn over in this industry is crazy. So an employee who stays and does enough things well is hard to turn away. They need bodies.</p> <p>But that is so disrespectful. We are supposed to be a team with the parents! And sharing food with the kids would feel weird to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614897 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 15:05:05 +0000 avivoca 2614897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I'm glad you had a good meeting and I hope that the teachers take this matter seriously. I'm surprised that they continue to allow this teacher to act like that though, I would not be cool with it, no matter if she was a good teacher otherwise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614893 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 15:02:29 +0000 HappyBaker 2614893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I did look up some other daycares today and got recommendations, but the thing is OUR daycare is peanut/tree nut free too so it's hard to know who would do a better job, you know? </p> <p>I'm going to give them another chance and if anything remotely close to this happens again I'll definitely move them elsewhere. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614891 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 15:01:16 +0000 HappyBaker 2614891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just got back from my meeting, spoiler alert - I cried. </p> <p>Basically as soon as I walked in and she apologized, I started crying and said how I felt like I couldn't trust my kids were safe there and how that is terrifying as a WOHM who has to work / can't just drop everything to pull them out. </p> <p>She assured me they are safe and that they are going to have a special staff meeting addressing allergy rule following. Basically everything I asked for she said was already technically their rule, the two teachers just weren't following them and would be spoken to specifically since they are with my kids all day long. </p> <p>The rules are supposed to be no outside food / no sharing food, and if anything does happen we are supposed to get called immediately. I also reiterated to her that literally the tiniest amount of a peanut could cause a life-threatening reaction in my daughter, and she was actually surprised at how little it could take / which drove home the point that the no outside food / sharing food rule has to be followed. </p> <p>In terms of the teachers comment, she said that was unacceptable and she'd talk to her about it, but she also said something along the lines of "She's crazy, but a good teacher". I kind of get the feeling they just put up with this teacher because she's been there so long. I'll give her another chance but I'm definitely making a stink if I hear something like that again!</p> <p>Thanks SO much for all your support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614816 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:43:59 +0000 Adira 2614816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: In case you're curious about my teacher/food drama:</p> <p><a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/would-this-upset-you</a><br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-they-did-it-again" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-they-did-it-again</a><br /> <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/update-ugh-they-did-it-again" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/update-ugh-they-did-it-again</a></p> <p>I'd forgotten, but apparently all this occurred before I had even discovered my son's milk allergy! I can't even imagine what would've happened if they had given him something with milk at daycare before we discovered his allergy. His very first introduction to cow's milk caused an anaphylactic reaction and we had to rush to the ER! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614811 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:40:21 +0000 gingerbebe 2614811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: uh hell no, I do not pay someone to watch my child just to get DISRESPECTED in front of them. I would be beyond ticked off if a teacher had the nerve to disrespect me like that to my kid. That would be extremely crazy making for me because it can carry over to my child thinking the food allergy rules aren't there to protect them but rather to be a "mean mommy." No no no.</p> <p>The food allergy stuff is a no brainer - it's a safety issue period. If the director wasn't 100% on your side and didn't fix the issue I would take my kids out. In fact I would be looking for a new daycare now as backup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614801 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:33:10 +0000 Adira 2614801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I cried when I talked to the director about the teacher &amp; food issues we were having. It's understandable!</p> <p>I also think some of the older teachers have more of an issue following parent suggestions/preferences. The teacher I had an issue with was older too. She was just totally against everything I wanted for my son with regards to food (made snide comments about me not starting solids until 6 months, made snide comments about breast milk not being nutritious or filling, made comments about not sending in ENOUGH breast milk, and then fed him things behind my back and made snide comments when she was caught doing it). I think sometimes if they've been doing it for a long time, they can be set in their ways and having to change for because of newer guidelines or the increase in food allergies is hard for them! But it's still SUPER IMPORTANT that they do it!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614787 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:20:54 +0000 HappyBaker 2614787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I totally agree, also this teacher is 55+, she isn't some young kid that hasn't worked in a daycare/school before. She says a LOT of stuff she shouldn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614785 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:19:39 +0000 mediagirl 2614785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: you can cry. I think I cried every time I talked to the director about a problem with my kid at school (school related). :) Emotions run high when it's about your kids. It's okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614784 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:18:56 +0000 mediagirl 2614784@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This comment really pisses me off: "Sorry, (DD), sometimes Mommmy's are no fun". It shows a lack of respect towards the parents. That's not okay. </p> <p>If the teacher is having a snack, it should either be away from the children or in a different room. That is not acceptable to eat in front of them and share.</p> <p>The allergy part is really scary, obviously. I'm curious to see what the director says. And I would throw the teacher under the bus. Just ask for more training. They shouldn't give you a hard time about that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614782 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:17:03 +0000 HappyBaker 2614782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I feel like it will be hard for me not to cry because I am so upset about it, but I'm going to try really hard to keep it together! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614780 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:16:13 +0000 HappyBaker 2614780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wheres_c: Interesting, that was actually my first thought, that I was surprised there was no incident report to fill out for the cheese thing! We have to sign one every time he bumps his head but for this there was nothing.</p> <p>Thanks so much everyone for your support, and making me feel better that I am not just being a crazy allergy parent! I'm meeting with her in an hour. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614778 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:14:45 +0000 Modern Daisy 2614778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wjen I filed a complaint about a teacher showing my son (kid friendly) videos on her phone I was matter of fact and kept emotions out of it. I just stated what I witnessed and that it had been going on for a few days in a row and that I thought it was unacceptable since I'm not paying for someone to give my son screen time. She actually got defensive and never admitted to any wrongdoing but I still am glad I spoke up. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614761 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 13:04:27 +0000 wheres_c 2614761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the state of Texas this is considered a high severity violation that the state would have to document. I'm sure there are similar regulations in your state. You are well within your rights to contact the state licensing also. This same violation happened at my sons daycare. My son isn't the child in question but it happened to him as well. I would have the conversation with the director but if it happens again, report them to the state.</p> <p>[attach=2346/16/ocu7jf.600x337.image.jpg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614660 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:41:31 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2614660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would approach the conversation very matter of factly. Explain "if my kids has x, y could happen" and go into all the details. My experience has been that if you describe all the repercussions people take it more seriously. Then you can say why what happened this week is totally unacceptable, and moving forward what you expect them to do (ie not give anything that wasn't explicitly approved by you/call and ask about something they haven't gotten directions about). I would also give this talk to each teacher/assistant directly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614658 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:37:52 +0000 erinbaderin 2614658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What makes me angriest about this is the "sometimes mommies are no fun" part, actually. I get that sometimes you're not thinking and you do something stupid. It shouldn't happen when you're responsible for small kids, but people make mistakes. But for her to then a) take no responsibility and b) make you out to be the bad guy to your child is totally unacceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614656 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:36:57 +0000 peachykeen 2614656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The food allergy/safety and not following regulations part of this is awful and unacceptable. What makes me even more irritated, though, is the teacher's response making you into the "bully"/unreasonable one! That would make me SO mad and is so childish for someone I am trusting with my kids. Just ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614613 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:05:14 +0000 MamaG 2614613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: Not to dismiss the allergies, which are clearly a big deal. The muffin thing is CRAP. Even as a non-allergy parent I'd not appreciate the sharing of food from the teacher.</p> <p>I liked that @Adira mentioned safety. I think that's a great way to approach it. You need the same level of safety in feeding your kids that they would take in making sure the child is physically safe (no inappropriate toys, chemicals, sharp objects, etc). And I would also focus on TRUST. These are two key words that our daycare uses all of the time. They want the families to TRUST in their care and that our TRUST extends to the SAFETY of our child being comparable to what we provide as their family. We pay for this level of care and expect it to occur. If it doesn't then our daycare feels as if they are not meeting our needs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614607 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:00:53 +0000 avivoca 2614607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: This really makes me angry for you. Our school is nut-free and there is a child in my daughter's class with severe allergies to at least 10 foods. Teachers absolutely are not able to bring outside food in and share with kids, everything has to be store bought with a label (exception would be fruit, cheese, etc. but still must come from the store). We even have to have H wash her hands/mouth if she ate anything in the car (like CFA nuggets or granola bars). So that these teachers are not taking it seriously is a big problem. Don't worry about the confrontation, because this could be life or death, not only for your kids, but for others as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614604 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 09:58:48 +0000 PinkElephant 2614604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: Ew. Even allergies aside, as somewhat of a germaphobe it completely grosses me out that she was passing around a single muffin to a group. Just...yuck! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614601 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 09:57:16 +0000 HappyBaker 2614601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: Yea that is a good idea. Treats that get brought in are supposed to also be nut free / from a store with a label but you're right sometimes another parent might not FULLY read that label and then the teacher is making the call. Having it be a hard and fast rule would make it easier on them / cause me way less stress wondering who is bringing food in! </p> <p>The muffin thing actually makes me rage-y all around because she was only sharing it to bribe the kids into behaving (DD told me she shared it with her yesterday, and i witnessed her using it as a bribe this morning). Basically if you were being "good" she'd give you a bite. So bizarre on so many levels! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614600 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 09:56:11 +0000 PinkElephant 2614600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HappyBaker: I'm sometimes surprised by the things that daycare/preschool teachers don't "get". My kids don't have allergies, but I feel like the (very highly rated) drop in daycare my husband's office provides is not great about following parent instructions on things like potty training/needing a pull up for naps, and totally - it's frustrating to spell things out and not have them complied with! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614596 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 09:52:56 +0000 PinkElephant 2614596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One more thought - would it be possible for you to leave a box of allergy-safe treats (some kind of pre-packaged granola bar, maybe, or sweetened puffed rice bars) that your kiddos don't get every day at school for days when treats are being brought in? </p> <p>As an example, for my DD's birthday recently, I sent grocery store cupcakes into school (so they had a label, and would have noted that they contained dairy, did not contain nuts, but did not come from a nut-free facility) - I feel like this is a place where there is room for error, especially in your older DD's case. A well meaning teacher who doesn't totally "get it" might give her a cupcake trying not to let her feel left out. But if you have a stash of treats there for her, and everyone knows that the rule is your kids don't eat outside food, NO MATTER WHAT, then hopefully no one will waiver or feel like they need to "make a call" on your behalf. Not sure if the teacher sharing the muffin was ONLY offering it to your DD or if everyone was getting bites, but if she was sharing with everyone, I can kind of see how she might have (wrongly) thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Having your own stash of treats drives home the point and shows that you're trying to help the teachers do the right thing (and still get to feel like the "nice guy", which it sounds like is inappropriately important to this teacher). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hate-confrontation-but-need-to-talk-with-daycare-director-help-long#post-2614592 Thu, 01 Sep 2016 09:46:32 +0000 HappyBaker 2614592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: Yes to this! What's frustrating is we have that rule with everyone else but didn't think we needed to extend it to daycare teachers since its nut/peanut free and I never thought they would share food with the kids. But obviously it's better to be safe than sorry! I'll definitely be clear with her now that even from teachers it's not okay. </p> <p>@DesertDreams88: holy cow that is awful! </p>