https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 24 May 2026 01:10:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-312568 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:01:34 +0000 Foodnerd81 312568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a little late to this but just chiming in since I think i was in a similar boat. I think a lot of this depends on how old you are. If you are in your early 20s, and really want to stay at home, then, it makes sense to wait. If you are in your 30s, then, you have a little bit more of a timeline to think about. </p> <p>For me, I really wanted to be a SAHM, it was important to me, and I was willing to wait a little bit for that to be an option. We knew DH's job would probably-- nothing is definitive of course-- be making enough money within a couple of years that I would be able to SAH comfortably. So we were willing to put it off an extra year, although there were a lot of other factors involved with putting off as well. I'm 31 and we just started trying. If I was older when we got married and it was still going to be a few years before we could comfortably do it on one salary, then we probably wouldn't have waited for that magic day when I could stay home.<br /> So everyone is different, but I would evaluate- how much you really want to SAH (for me, I'd rather have only 1 kid if I got to stay home vs 2 and having to work full time, but that's just me!); how long you can comfortable wait for health/age reasons; how badly you want a baby right now!<br /> And yeah, research day care costs in your area. For me, I make an OK salary but day care is so expensive that I'd only end up taking home hundreds a month, which wouldn't really help that much anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-308597 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:57:21 +0000 GrapeCrush 308597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>there really never is a 'right time' to have a baby. i would love to be a SAHM, but i knew that wasn't possible now. Even knowing that i would have to go back to work after DS was born, i knew it was time to start having babies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-308504 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 16:03:46 +0000 tororojo 308504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We paid off our car and college loans and are now debt-free. We planned on saving a down payment before TTC but now there's a surprise bambino on the way, which has changed things! We will have decent savings when the baby arrives, but not enough for a 20% down payment + cushion, which is where we want to be before buying a house.</p> <p>I'm not planning to work once the baby is here, partially because I don't make a ton of money or enjoy my job, and partially because I don't want to work! I want to be at home when our kids are young. This is more important to me than having extra $$$, and if you think hard about budget and where each penny goes, you'll probably find that you can cut down expenses a lot. I may end up getting a part time job to give us some extra cushion, but we'll see how it goes.</p> <p>I think you should make a plan, do your best to stick to it and remember--sometimes surprises happen and even the best-laid plans get switched up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-308473 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 15:52:39 +0000 DillonLion 308473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like some other PP have suggested, we moved to living off DH's income entirely, cut back, and used my income to pay down debt while I've been pregnant. We just kissed a $9k credit card bill goodbye and will continue to work on our debt while I stay in the workforce. Ideally I'd love to stay home, but putting a huge dent in our debt also feels pretty awesome. You might try doing something similar (if possible, I'm not sure how much your DH makes or what your bills are like, obviously)! It really makes me feel a lot better about giving up the "dream" of being able to stay home right now. And the more debt we pay down, the more likely I will be able to stay home in the future...so it really inspires me to keep working at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-308463 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 15:47:27 +0000 daniellemybelle 308463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ahhh, you guys! This is freaking me out. I just don't feel like we are ready... but there really aren't a lot of reasons why we aren't! It's just a scary thing!</p> <p>I definitely want to get rid of a lot of our debt first, and have a bigger savings. It's not like we're going to TTC next month just because we had this conversation. It's just a matter of, TTC within the next year, knowing that there's a strong possibility I will have to work, and waiting until DH gets that big job... which may be 5 years, or may be never.</p> <p>I know plenty of moms (including many of you awesome ladies!) work and balance it all beautifully. I just don't know if I can. I also see the working moms I know and they miss their babies so much. I *REALLY* want to be a SAHM. I feel like I am willing to wait a little bit longer to make that a reality... but not indefinitely...</p> <p>@looch: @chrispygal: Right now there is no way that we could live off just one salary, though I know we could be saving a lot more than we do. I guess we could try living off DH's potential salary if this opportunity comes through, so if/when it does, any extra money will just go toward the "baby fund?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307804 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 11:03:41 +0000 Mrs. Lovejoy 307804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like pps, it seems there will never be a right time. We were in a similar predicament, and ended up going for it and got a BFP that same month. While it was completely unexpected (my mom took 3 years to get pregnant and my sister hasn't been able to. While I know it's not all genetics, I definitely thought it'd be hard for me). You just never know what life will throw your way and you have to trust your instincts and your gut on when is "right" for you. Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307797 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 11:01:26 +0000 hilsy85 307797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you don't know when you guys will be at a point where you can stay at home, and I personally wouldn't want to keep putting off TTC for something that could take months-years to happen. So I would just go for it, and figure it out as you go along. While it would be nice to SAH, plenty of people make it work if both parents are working--and it sounds like at some point SAH will become a reality for you guys. I also agree with @looch re: renting; I personally don't see owning a home as a requirement for having a baby (we still rent and probably will for a while). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307792 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:59:08 +0000 Alivoo01 307792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too say go for it as no one is ever ready in all aspects of life to have a baby. There's always something. Once the baby is here, all decisions will be based upon that instead of "what if". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307660 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:02:50 +0000 loveisstrange 307660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should bite the bullet on being a SAHM and go for it now. Like others have said, there will always be "what if". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307654 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:00:25 +0000 T.H.O.U. 307654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you can wait for the WHAT IF he starts making enough so you can stay home. See what happens and make your decision from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307637 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 09:53:09 +0000 chrispygal 307637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really like the idea that @Looch presented - trying to live off one salary for a while (meanwhile using it for savings and debt). If you do decide to TTC right away, I'm sure you'll make it work when the baby arrives. I truly believe that and honestly, I don't see renting as a big issue either. Owning a home is very expensive and can provide many unexpected expenses, as does a baby. I always knew I'd go back to work and 100% wanted to before TTC, and now that LO is here I am really dreading going back to work. So know that if you really do want to stay home in your heart already, it's going to be an even bigger issue when LO arrives.</p> <p>I want to give some "voice of reason" advice. If you really do have a good chunk of debt and very little savings, maybe you should put it off a short while - even 6 months or a year - to try and get in a better position. Having a baby is expensive! We have zero debt right now (other than a mortgage, our cars, and one small student loan), both make good salaries, and after day care costs will likely only be able to save $500 or so a month. That could be considered great for many, but we are in a small home that we are upside down on, and desperately want to move into a larger home. To do so, we'll need to save a large downpayment so having our LO will put this off for years. We considered this when we decided to TTC, so all the financial stuff is not necessarily a reason NOT to TTC. Just explore daycare costs, what you would spend on diapers, clothing, furniture, etc and then use it to make your decision. I was 37, going on 38, which is why we decided not to put off TTC. We could have saved a TON if we put it off for a year, but where I was older, I didn't want to take the chance. We have no regrets and I know no matter what you decide, neither will you! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307468 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:39:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 307468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you scale back at all now and start paying down more on your debt; and then when your DH gets the raise just put the entire raise towards the debt throughout your pregnancy? If you do go back to work, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. IMO a lot of the emotional stuff is what you make it. I don't feel badly about retuning to work, and none of the women I work closely with do either. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307450 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:27:44 +0000 Minnie_Girl 307450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As the saying goes, there is no "right" time to have a baby. I've been very aware of that through my pregnancy, because we weren't planning on having kids for a few more years. In spite of the surprise, things have worked out beautifully. Are our plans for the next few years the same? Will we be able to live exactly as we lived before kids? Haha, NO--but we wouldn't be able to live like we were anyway, regardless of how much we're making! </p> <p>Babies bring change. If you're willing to embrace whatever changes come your way, you'll be just fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307372 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:58:58 +0000 blackbird 307372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you feel very strongly against working? If you don't, I say go for it. Lots of moms works and the financial cushion is very nice! Plus you have debt. I wouldn't be comfortable staying home if we had debt...i feel like that is simply a luxury that most cannot afford, so you would be in good company by working :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307272 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 02:54:17 +0000 heffalump 307272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go for it, I feel like if you wait to have a baby, you're always going to be able to find a reason to wait. There's just never a perfect time. But of course its such a personal thing, you have to do whatever makes you happy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307268 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 02:50:44 +0000 looch 307268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well, I would take renting out of the equation. We are renters with a 21 month old and it's been great so far. We don't have to deal with the yard on the weekends and when something breaks we call the property mgmt and they take care of it. When our washing machine didn't work anymore, we just called and there was a new one delivered the next day.</p> <p>While we are renting though, we deliberately made a plan to save my entire salary to see if we could live comfortably on my husband's income and save for a down payment on a house. We did that for three years and we have enough and then some.</p> <p>We just decided to start TTCing and would kind of play it by ear. I thought it would take us at least a year to get pregnant because i was 34 when we started, but we were pregnant on our first cycle. I worked a lot the year I was pregnant and racked up a lot of extra overtime which went right into savings. I was able to negotiate returning part time, but we had some issues with day care so I made the decision while on maternity leave to stay at home.</p> <p>So, now that I have written a novel, what I'd suggest is give yourself a pregnancy premester...get healthy, make sure your cycles are regular, start using OPKs to confirm you're ovulating, that sort of thing. Then, start TTCing. As mentioned above, it could take longer than you think. Pay down your debt aggresively using one salary and see if you can make it on your husband's alone.</p> <p>Good Luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307197 Mon, 24 Sep 2012 00:24:00 +0000 DillonLion 307197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really wanted to stay home when we had kids. We could have swung it financially with his current salary but we can live a lot more comfortably if I continue to work at this point. Do I wish we waited until he made more money? Nope. I'm ecstatic to be pregnant right and ill be returning to work full time after my maternity leave is over. We made the compromise that once we have our second (and DH is most likely making more as he works longer) I will stay home full time at that point. Until then we will be working on getting our debt paid down and into. A better position to completely eliminate my salary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307189 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 23:34:08 +0000 tequiero21 307189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'd go for it! just because you want it to happen at a certain time, doesn't mean it'll happen at that time! took us much longer than expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-a-baby-soon-amp-work-full-time-or-wait-so-i-can-stay-at-home#post-307173 Sun, 23 Sep 2012 22:51:52 +0000 daniellemybelle 307173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Today DH &amp; I were discussing some professional opportunities that are on the horizon for him. He said, "If and when this comes to fruition, we should start really talking about having a baby." Of course, that made my heart leap! We always said we'd TTC after we'd been married about 3 years, and that would be right on time, but still... very exciting to hear it spoken out loud as a reality!</p> <p>Still, the logical part of me started calculating immediately. Even with a substantial raise for DH, if I stayed home full-time, we'd take a considerable cut to our income. Right now, we have a very small savings, a good chunk of debt, and we rent. I don't think we could really manage on less than what we make now, plus a baby.</p> <p>I voiced this to DH, and he very reasonably said that we could either TTC soon, and I would work full-time, or we could wait until he made even more money so I could stay home. That is definitely not guaranteed at all, and definitely not within the next few years. If anything, it's more likely that I start making a considerable salary before him.</p> <p>It's so hard to feel like babies are being dangled in front of me, but to know we can't do it the way I want right now. I know that we could make a lot of sacrifices to make it work, but I'm not sure either of us want to do that. But then I tell myself it will never be perfect.... I just feel torn!</p> <p>What would you do? Wait? Go for it? </p>