https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 05:34:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243694 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 09:30:35 +0000 catomd00 2243694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow what an absurd situation. I would not feel comfortable giving any addition information either. At the end of the day, it's not really your problem that he chose to cosign for<br /> You. We all need to take responsibility for our own actions and deal with the consequences. I think you've provided adequate information to the lender. It really doesn't sound right that they're asking for additional information from you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243672 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 09:10:21 +0000 pachamama 2243672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: I also never thought I'd be someone with an estranged sister. It's a horrible feeling that bears at me but you kind of have to decide if having their toxicity in your life is worth it- for me it is definitely not. I know money can do terrible things to good families, that is a very real, normal occurrence. My sister I think is mentally ill; I'd like to think no human can hurt other humans like she has and be considered sane. My mom is devastated it and it has affected our relationship in a sad way.<br /> Maybe try to just keep your brother out of your relationship with your mom? I know easier said than done but moms are tough to lose. It sounds like one day you guys could repair things also. I hope one day I can too but the whole thing seems futile now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243620 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 08:20:26 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2243620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: I was about to say the exact same thing as @Cole: - see if your loan company will let you release your brother as cosigner. Even without the mortgage issue, it would be a good idea for family relations to get your brother's name off your debts.</p> <p>I bought a house a couple years ago and the paperwork required was INSANE so I understand why the situation is so stressful for them. It's frustrating they're reacting with anger instead of trying to just solve the problem though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243566 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 07:37:27 +0000 Cole 2243566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: frequently student loan companies will let you drop the cosigner if you have paid in full and on time for 12 months. Maybe try calling the student loan company and ask if that is an option. That might fix the whole situation on regards to the mortgage. </p> <p>I am currently estranged from my mom and I really don't know that I want to fix it. I believe she has some mental health issues that she isn't willing to address and it makes her... Well not exactly a joy to interact with. I recently started therapy through Talkspace and I am really glad, it's either through a private chat room or Skype sessions and it's been helpful so far but I am still just so angry, it's really hard. Big hugs to you, I know it's all so draining and miserable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243560 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 07:29:43 +0000 ms.line 2243560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: That sounds so crazy! When I bought my house a few years ago they brought up a credit card that's both in my name and my dad's. In practice it's totally my dad's card, he added me to the account so when I shop for him I can just use his card. At the time he was carrying a relatively high balance (0% APR), and the lender was concerned. We showed the card was current and my dad wrote a letter of explanation stating that paying the balance was 100% his responsibility, and that was it! No further questions. I don't think you're being crazy at all, and I don't know why your brother and SIL are being such huge jerks about it. I'm sorry your parents are on you - living with them must be so stressful. Is there any way you could talk to the broker directly about an alternative to the bank statements? I wouldn't trust your brother as a reliable middleman at this point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243488 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 02:39:06 +0000 Kimberlybee 2243488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: I am so sorry you are going through this. The broker's request to see your bank statements is absolutely rediculous because you will not be on the mortgage loan. That is your private information. I was an office manager (was the senior loan officer before that) at a mortgage office for many years and I have never ran into this scenario. I have seen many cosigner situations in auto, student loans, etc... and as long as it's current, that's what matters. How does the student loan account appear on his credit report? If it shows that he's the primary borrower, he needs to get that disputed and updated ASAP. I would draft a letter of explanation stating that you are the primary borrower on the student loan detailing whatever it is that needs to be said, "have been repaying the loan since...."', get it notarized and submit that to your brother's broker/lender. I think you are right to refuse sending in your bank statements, I would not give that information up either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243485 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 01:24:52 +0000 daniellemybelle 2243485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: This is such a bizarre situation. I have never heard of anything remotely like this. If the student loan is current, that should be the end of it. Maybe they have really poor credit and are struggling to get a loan anyway? That's not your problem though. I absolutely think this is an unfair request and the fact that your brother can't see that is so odd.</p> <p>To answer your question, I have been estranged from a loved one for several months over what I can only characterize as a painful betrayal. I forgave and re-opened communication so that we could all move forward - I could not truly detach for very reasons and so it was a constant game of active avoidance. Our relationship is fine now - good, even - but we are not super close or anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2243477 Thu, 23 Jul 2015 00:04:34 +0000 Meow 2243477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for responding. The situation has now blown up even worse to ridiculous levels... I don't know how to describe how bad without explaining what actually happened so here goes -</p> <p>My brother cosigned for my student loans when I was in college. We were both young, ignorant about finances and naive. I wish I hadn't taken out loans, and I'm sure he wishes he didn't cosign but we can't change the past.</p> <p>He is about to buy a home now (two family home, split between him/his wife and her sister/husband). Since he was a cosigner on my loans, his mortgage broker wanted proof that I had been paying back my loans on time for the past 12 months. (I have been, and more.) At first they asked for student loan statements. I was going to provide them, but then they quickly changed and asked for my bank statements. As in, my personal bank account statements, 12 months' worth. They said it's so they can see that the loans are being paid by me, not from some secret account that my bro might be hiding. I'm not even on the mortgage so I said no, that is too much personal info. I am not comfortable with anyone else besides my husband seeing exactly how much I make and how I spend my money. This is when the situation initially blew up.</p> <p>Fast forward a few days of back and forth later, I asked the broker if I could get a transaction history from my bank detailing just the loan debits. They said ok. I went to the bank and spent two hours with the manager trying to pull this information from my account (I've many extra payments over the past 12 months, and most are in random amounts.) But it had all the information that proved I was the one making the payments - the bank info, my name, the student loan names, dates and debit amounts. I had my bank stamp every printout and even included the business card of the manager who processed this for me.</p> <p>The broker received the information and said it wasn't good enough. They want the full statements. I haven't been able to contact them to ask why it's necessary to see all my other financial transactions for the past 12 months that are completely unrelated to the loans - every deposit, debit and credit. My bro said its so they know my finances are good so I'm not affecting my bro with those loans. I think it's already clear from what I provided, and just can't imagine for the life of me why they need to see all those other unrelated stuff. My supervisor said why don't I write you a letter verifying your employment and how much you make? So I offered that to my bro, and he said no.</p> <p>It's just weird, and suspicious and stupid to me what this broker/bank is asking for.</p> <p>So we are at the point here where my bro/his wife have threatened to pay a visit to my parents with the in-laws (her family) to have a talk with my parents (they probably think that'll pressure me enough to cave) and also threatened to me and my parents with their divorce. It's total emotional blackmail and my mom has fallen for it from the beginning. She's incredibly upset and is constantly begging me to help my brother. I honestly feel horrible about this entire situation. I'm not out to intentionally screw my brother over. I've been doubting myself if I'm being ridiculous on not compromising on the fact that I won't provide my full bank statements but at the end of the day I'm just not comfortable doing that. I'm away for work right now but it is affecting my work. I fly for a living and for the first time I almost backed out of a flight today due to my mental state/family situation. Yet,I want to stay at work and don't want to go home because I dread facing my family. (I currently live with our parents, supporting them 100%) </p> <p>I just really don't know where to go from here.</p> <p>@greentea: to answer your question, when this thing first blew up he said "don't call me, don't text me, hopefully I never see you again." He's talking to me now since he's still trying to get me to do the aforementioned for him, but I'm sure we are done after this is finished, regardless of the outcome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240829 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 12:58:11 +0000 teawithpaloma 2240829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't spoken to my dad is many many years. Time does help heal a lot. I just wanted to add that this reading this thread made me feel better and not so alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240732 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 11:54:00 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2240732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm going through something similar right now with my mom. She's treated me pretty poorly throughout my life, and she's extremely toxic. We had a blowup on Father's Day, and I haven't talked to her since. It's incredibly hard because my parents are still together, and my dad watches my son a day/week, and really enjoys it. He still does come down, but he's pushing me to talk to her, and I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I've been the brunt of her anger for my entire life, and I'm done being her punching bag. I honestly don't care to have a relationship with her any longer. </p> <p>It's certainly hard because my brothers are also continuing their relationship with her, but I need to do what's best for me, not for everyone else. I'm sure the holidays will be hard, but I'm willing to work through it to have my anxiety level be far lower and not have someone continue to make my life miserable. </p> <p>If you need to talk, please PM me. I'm only a few weeks out from cutting off all contact and it's still really hard, but I'm working through it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240662 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 10:50:57 +0000 cat620 2240662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't someone in my immediate family, but I would say I'm estranged from my aunt. I haven't talked to her in over three years. She was always jealous of me and would complain that I had everything handed to me in life and it wasn't fair. I worked hard for everything I had, but she continued to badmouth me. I still tried to have a good relationship with her and would go out of my way to visit her, even though she never made an effort to do the same for me. The final straw was my wedding. I invited her and her family, and she RSVP'd yes. Well 3 days before my wedding, she e-mailed me to say she couldn't come because her car needed new tires and she couldn't afford to get them replaced. Poor excuse. My grandmother (her mother) offered to pay for a rental car, but my aunt turned the offer down and said it wasn't enough to get her to come. So thanks to her, I had 4 empty seats at my wedding and reception. I already have a small family, so that was like having 25% of my family members not showing up. I never talked to her again after that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240452 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 08:33:34 +0000 jape14 2240452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: (copied some of this from another thread about estranged parents) So sorry that you are dealing with this! I cut my toxic mother out of my life when I was 19 years old. (My parents are divorced, and I have a great relationship with my dad.) She has tried to reconnect at various points but I've remained firm - it's been slightly easier bc I live about 8 hours away from my hometown (and have for 8 years). It can be hard at times -- especially when I was pregnant/had a newborn -- and difficult to explain to people, but whenever I hear about my siblings having issues with her (two of my three siblings still have relationships with her to varying degrees, the other has also cut off contact), I'm happy with my decision. It's really hard to talk to friends and family about these kinds of situations because the common response is often "well, he/she's your family member." People have a tough time understanding if they're not in a similar situation. I know it's going to be hard again when LO (and future LOs) are old enough to ask questions, but it's definitely best for me and my family to not have ties with her. I'm sorry you are going through this, but feel free to wall me if you want a sounding board! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240442 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 08:25:32 +0000 kjpugs 2240442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were loosely estranged from my MIL for about half a year. If it were up to me it would have been FULLY (as in, didn't last such a short time) and I say loosely because I don't think she saw it that way. We didn't communicate for about 6 months but then she asked DH to go out to dinner to talk. But she's crazy and unfortunately we'll never have a normal relationship with her. We actually moved out of state mostly due to DH's insistence to get away from her. Now, we are not estranged but just try to avoid talking to her, visits, etc. I think a lot of the time estrangements happen because a family member is someone who might have a mental/personality disorder or not listen to reason. If you have a family member dealing with something like bipolar disorder or a personality disorder and not being treated, and they lash out at you, then sometimes the only response that can provide sanity is to cut off all ties. It was hard for me to understand as a kid too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240390 Mon, 20 Jul 2015 06:23:41 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2240390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240136 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 11:55:51 +0000 skipra 2240136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you guys can resolve this issues.<br /> I have had major fights with my sisters and mom but we always work to resolve them eventually even if in the heat of the moment I can't imagine ever seeing eye to eye again. I thought most families were like that unless there were major underlying issues (drugs, abuse, etc) but it turns out I was wrong about that because we are pretty much estranged from my sil. She is very stubborn and refused to go along with our wishes for our son once he was born. She essentially wanted it her way whenever she was around and got super nasty towards us. She has shown us time and time again that she does not care about her nephews even a tiny bit unless we go by her rules. She won't even acknowledge them. So we are done with her. We tried to fix it but every chance she got she would just keep showing us that she would not compromise or treat us with an ounce of respect and would go out of her way to do so. I feel really bad for DH but I will not be bullied around. Even when things are bad with my family we have at least respect for each other. When that goes it ia difficult to repair things (in my limited experience) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240132 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 11:37:06 +0000 catomd00 2240132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ms.line: this is basically our situation with my mom and older sister. We don't have zero contact, but it's minimal and on an as needed basis. It's stressful but also more calm since we have majorly distanced ourselves. My mom and sis are narcissistic and very difficult to deal with. I just didn't want to deal with the drama anymore and it was affecting my relationship with DH. My marriage is more important especially for dd's sake than my relationship with any other family member, so I needed to prioritize that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240107 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 10:30:03 +0000 tofuwad 2240107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you're going through this, family stuff is so hard and complicated. My brother and I were estranged from my mother for about ten years. The tough part for me was that I had two young sisters that she was legally required to see and my father had alimony payments he had to make. So in spite of her mental illness and addictions, I stayed more or less in contact so I could keep an eye on what was happening in her house while my sisters were there. It was really the most depressing part of my life. </p> <p>What ended up happening for us was that (IMO) she trashed her immune system with drugs, caught MRSA bacterial meningitis, was in a coma for 6 weeks, and is now permanently disabled. What's crazy for us is that my father is her full time caregiver. Mentally she's fully functional but she's still in denial about her mental illness/addictions. The good thing is that she isn't self medicating with drugs and alcohol so she's a lot more stable mentally.</p> <p>And now I'm the most supportive emotionally of her out of my siblings. And it's mostly to support my father. I feel like he has chosen to support her (not forgive her) and she has the power to make his life miserable so I do what I can to make his life easier. </p> <p>Family stuff is never easy and my only advice is that toxic people cannot be convinced their behavior is inappropriate. Denial is very strong and I've always been of the mindset that you need to take care of yourself first. But the addicts in my family are all super codependent and need an audience. So I try to deny them that. </p> <p>My DH and I also had a weird situation with one of his cousins before we got married. She was his roommate and I never really liked her (she is very spoiled and inconsiderate and confrontational), but I Didnt want to be unfair about it. He knew why I didn't like her but they were close so I'd just say, I don't like hanging out with her but you do, so I just won't be around when you do. At the time we were in our early 20s so it wasn't a big deal, we were both working and in college and had different schedules. And had plenty of opportunities to see each other outside of his house. </p> <p>Anyways, long story short she basically had started gossiping/telling lies about my husband on Facebook to her friends and his family. It caused a huge thing in the extended family (who are incredibly close and who eat family dinner together 2-3 times per week). My DH's policy about the whole thing was to let her run her mouth, but to explain privately to his parents what happened from his perspective. If anyone asked me what happened, I'd just say, "believe what you want, but I just don't want to talk about it." I think my now SIL found that behavior to be too passive and doormat-like but my experience with toxic people has just made me take a general policy of non-engagement because more often than not they just want vindication. If you truly believe that your actions are above reproach you shouldn't need the approval of others. </p> <p>Now my DH and his cousin are basically in a polite holding pattern where they are civil and polite (she stopped by our baby shower two hours after it was over, but brought a gift) but their relationship will never be close. </p> <p>Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to commiserate I guess and let you know that family stuff is complicated and super stressful. And I'd consider myself to have a pretty good relationship with my family and with DH's family! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240078 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 09:01:01 +0000 wonderstruck 2240078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad cut off his mother, siblings, and their children when I was in high school. it was an extreme situation - a relative had been abusing me for years and I finally broke down and told my parents. My dad's family split between calling me a liar and saying I must have been asking for it. He hasn't spoken to any of them ever since and never will. I don't miss them a bit. And honestly? Even if it weren't for the abuse I wouldn't miss them - almost all of them were mean people who talked shit about my mom, favored my cousins over me, I could go on and on. My life is so much better without them in it. I don't ever want to keep people who are horrible to me in my life just because they're related to me.</p> <p>I'm not sure what would happen if my dad's family gave a real apology...never going to happen, so it doesn't really matter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240052 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 07:58:03 +0000 yellowbird 2240052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was estranged from my mom for about 7 years totally and then we would communicate maybe 1-2x a year for the 3 years after that before she passed away. She had a mental illness and also suffered from substance abuse but she couldn't understand how that affected me. Eventually I just had to cut off contact (I was only 14 when we stopped speaking and seeing each other entirely.) it was the best thing for me but I do mourn the relationship that I never got to have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240050 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 07:52:07 +0000 ms.line 2240050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH and I no longer have a relationship with his brother and mother. There was so much toxic behavior, lying, gossiping, and arguing, and it was really taking a huge emotional toll on both myself and especially my husband. When we ended the relationship my DH told them that he would be open to a future relationship if they could acknowledge their behavior, seek treatment for their addiction issues, etc. They told him to go f**k himself, and here we are, three years later, in a similar holding pattern to @oscarthegoon's. It's been sad and hard, and I have often wished that my DH had a better, more supportive family. But the reality is that he doesn't, and our lives are ultimately much calmer and happier without them. It's a really difficult situation, but at the end of the day, you need to take care of your own emotional wellbeing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240047 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 07:51:27 +0000 NavyRN2012 2240047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was estranged from my father for awhile. My parents divorced when I was a baby and he moved away. We saw him maybe once a year at Christmas when we were growing up. As I got older, it just became awkward to see him as it was only once a year and I felt I didn't really know him. When I was in college, I asked if he'd pay for my summer semester (I was on scholarship for spring and fall) and he told me that he couldn't because he'd just paid a ton in taxes- okay, no big deal. Then I find out he gave my sister (who he always favored) a large sum of money and paid for a privacy fence for her backyard. I was really hurt that he lied to me and chose my sisters fence over my education. Things continued to sour after that and it got to the point where we never spoke. He lives about 20 minutes from us, and didn't meet my daughter until she was almost 2. We've been speaking more and more, and he seems to be making more of an effort now. We'll never be close, but he is my dad and I'd like some communication with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240031 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 07:13:21 +0000 buttermilk 2240031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was like you, growing up I never understood how some people never speak to family members, it didn't make sense! I always had a super close relationship with both of my parents, but I've now been estranged from my father for 3 years. I won't go into details but the short story is that he has had some kind of a mental breakdown. I got engaged, approached him for financial help with the wedding, and he freaked out and things were never the same again. He got remarried, moved away and didn't come to my wedding. He lied to my face making up excuses about why he couldn't come, and then attended my brothers wedding 6 months later. I felt so hurt and abandoned by him that I said I never wanted to see him again. Over time I've slowly warmed up, but things are never the same! We are civil, he literally acts like nothing happened whenever we speak - which is usually just texting each other on major holidays. I know there is some amount of him going crazy involved, and I am open to reconnecting more, but I literally do not know when I will ever see him again, and I don't feel like I'm the one who has to make that effort. It's sad because his first grandchild is due next month, and I'm not sure when they'll ever meet. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240027 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 07:02:47 +0000 Greentea 2240027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meow: I am sorry for what you are going through. I have been estranged from my family multiple times. It sounds like at this time you are kind of in the thick of a "fight," so-to-say, so I think the stress is normal. Is bro refusing to speak with you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2240006 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 04:23:49 +0000 oscarthegoon 2240006@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>that sounds difficult :bummed: i have been estranged from my mother for over 12 years. she did and said some horrible things preceeding my parents divorce and was so self-righteous and unapologetic about the hurt she had caused that i cut off contact with her. i didn't necessarily intend to never speak to her ever again, but she has made it easy to continue the status quo by never reaching out to me in a genuine manner and continuing to be completely self-absorbed and playing the victim. i think it's ok to distance yourself from toxic people, even if they are close family members, although it is sad. it doesn't have to be forever though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-or-are-you-currently-estranged-from-your-family#post-2239998 Sun, 19 Jul 2015 00:26:20 +0000 Meow 2239998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was a kid, I never understood why some adult family members were estranged and how families ended up that way. </p> <p>I have one brother who is three years older than I am. We fought a lot as children and then had a neutral relationship preteen years to recently. We just weren't close, as in we never hung out or called/texted each other just to chat.</p> <p>This past week, we had a situation where money became involved. It escalated extremely quickly, we went from being neutral to his wife verbally attacking me (it truly was a one-sided attack) and him telling me "hopefully I never see you again" in a matter of two days. His wife was always very aggressive and bitchy so whatever but my bro had never said something so harsh to me in our entire lives so it was definitely appalling and hurtful. If I never saw him again I wouldn't actively miss him since we were never close to begin with but nonetheless, the situation is causing so much stress for everyone.</p> <p>I didn't want our parents to get involved but they did (mostly our mom) and she's taken it upon herself to go back and forth trying to be a peacekeeper of sorts. She is easily persuaded and I feel like my bro and his wife did a fantastic job of painting themselves as victims and me as a villain to our parents and now this situation has evolved into not just me versus my brother but also our mom. I just feel terrible about the whole thing and it's affecting my daily life. </p> <p>At what point do you say enough and turn your back on your parents and sibling? Can anyone commiserate? </p>