Hellobee Boards Topic: Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 29 May 2026 17:41:54 +0000 Maysprout on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot/page/2#post-452528 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:28:29 +0000 Maysprout 452528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Boopers: I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're having to go through all that pain again. sarac on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot/page/2#post-452527 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:28:28 +0000 sarac 452527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I cannot engage with it, at all. It is just too horrific. I cannot even go there in my mind to try to empathize with how those parents must feel. Maysprout on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot/page/2#post-452524 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:25:59 +0000 Maysprout 452524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @littlecasita1122: Vicki Soto seems she was so heroic, the stories still I guess aren't clear but it seems like she was just so brave and protective and was able to save some of her LOs. I read that Liza long article and it was terrifying, what's the solution for that situation? Boopers on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452518 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:21:16 +0000 Boopers 452518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes it has been on my mind. I teach second grade and a lot of my babies are 7- the same age as some these sweet babies whose life was taken too early. Not that this is the same because he wasn't taken away by such evil but I lost my 7 year old nephew in a car accident two years ago. It is the most heartbreaking and worst thing I've ever dealt with. Even today I struggle dealing with his passing and miss him constantly. I can understand the complete and utter gut wrenching pain of losing someone so suddenly, especially a child but at the same time I can't imagine how these parents and other family members are going to cope dealing with it publicly. Just absolutely devastating. littlecasita1122 on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452435 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:36:02 +0000 littlecasita1122 452435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I grew up in CT in a similar sized town so it hit very close to home. I learned later on Friday night that my best friend from high school was actually college friends with Vicki Soto. His wife was college roommates with her. Seeing them repost old pictures on Facebook made me cry all weekend. It's just so hard to understand and I keep asking why, why, why. What scares me most is raising my own son...I hope that he will not grow up to be troubled and to have an illness that provokes him to do something like this. Have any of you read the Liza Long article? It scared me so bad and I hope as a mother I never have to deal with that with my son. Or that if I do, I will have the resources I need to get help. lomom on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452310 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:40:45 +0000 lomom 452310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I can't get past the shock and disbelief. I have really cut back on watching/reading the coverage because it just upsets me so badly. I literally threw up after hearing about it Friday night. I feel so badly for the parents who lost their babies, I'm heartbroken for the children who saw everything and will have to live with those images and the missing friends/classmates for the rest of their lives. And I feel for the siblings, many of whom are way too young to comprehend what happened and will never get to grow up in a normal childhood without fear. One of the most touching things I saw on the news (outside of Emilie Parker's father's discussion of his baby girl) was a teenager whose younger sibling was a student at the school, a 4th grader who was unharmed. He described the sheer terror of not knowing whether his little sister was okay or not. The love and bond of siblings was so evident in his words, it made me cry and be so grateful that I have a big brother just like him. Okay, I'm going to get tissues now. Bao on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452309 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:40:33 +0000 Bao 452309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes :( so so sad... MrsSCB on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452304 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:36:06 +0000 MrsSCB 452304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: His mother's friends did describe him as "troubled," but hindsight is 20/20. I don't blame her, though, I blame the system. She followed all the rules, did nothing illegal. But the fact is, no one needs an arsenal like she had. If we had more sensible regulations here, this would not have happened. That would be where my anger came from. Sorry, I realize that was not clear from my previous post, so I just want to emphasize that I do not blame her, at least with the info I have now! Although, with time, who knows what we might find out. But I absolutely agree that most mothers would never think their children are capable of murder. Mrs. Pen on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452298 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:31:37 +0000 Mrs. Pen 452298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsSCB: it's clear he is troubled now, seeing as he killed so many, however there is a very good chance no one, even his parents, knew he was troubled. And just because he had aspergers doesn't mean he was troubled either. I'm sure the majority of mothers would never think their child is capable of murder. I'm not sure how or if his mother had their guns stored/locked, but I'm assuming as a 20 year old man even of they were locked well he would still have easy access seeing as he was an adult. I heard from someone that they were all educated in gun safety and even went target shooting as a family. Saying that it's his moms fault for not locking her gun as best as possible would be erroneous and simply shifting blame- he is a murderer and if he had his mind set on mass murder- he could have found a gun elsewhere. chrispygal on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-452180 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:13:15 +0000 chrispygal 452180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @prettylizy: @Thehistoryofus: Me too! And I can't stop thinking about the fact that these parents weren't allowed to see their children the day of the shooting. I would have slept outside that school until they let me in to be with my baby. I just can't imagine. I am shattered at the thought. T.H.O.U. on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451954 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 15:02:37 +0000 T.H.O.U. 451954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @prettylizy: Yes. Another one I can't shake is the siblings. Apparently one was the youngest of four children and had a twin and another sibling at the school. doodlepoodle on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451920 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:43:32 +0000 doodlepoodle 451920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I can't stop crying. My husband thinks I'm insane. He compartmentalizes very well, I don't. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I've gone to bed early every night since then so I can cry BC I know mt prayers will take twice as long to get through. I think there is a lot of finger pointing and unfortunately that won't get us anywhere. There is an interesting perspective on the mental illness side of things in the blog post below. I'm not saying it's an 'excuse' but it certainly is real. People out there need help and it can be hard to get at this point in our society. Http://anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com/2012/12/thinking-unthinkable.HTML?m=1 keepcalmcarrie on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451893 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:29:59 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 451893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @prettylizy: That exact thought struck me on Friday while I was leaving work, and I ugly-cried in my car on the drive home. It's hard to imagine how these parents feel, but thinking of those Christmas presents just makes it feel so horribly real and close. prettylizy on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451882 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:24:59 +0000 prettylizy 451882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's strange, but all I can focus on is that the parents left in the wake of all of this have probably already bought Christmas presents for their children, and now those children are gone. All the love and joy that surrounds the holiday season is gone, and now they have these gifts and no child to enjoy them. I'm having a hard time looking at my Christmas tree without crying because of this silly little thing, but it seems so big to me. How as a parent do you deal with all of this, how do you look at that box, and know the person who was supposed to open never will. MrsSCB on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451879 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:24:18 +0000 MrsSCB 451879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsTiz: I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time, if I try putting myself in the victim's families' shoes, I think that I would honestly want this conversation to happen right away. I would be so angry that this clearly troubled young man had access to such dangerous and unnecessary firearms that I would want to know immediately how it was going to be addressed to make sure it never happens again. Obviously that's just my opinion, but maybe something to think about. runsyellowlites on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451877 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:23:14 +0000 runsyellowlites 451877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Personally, I think the policy discussions should still take a backseat. Primarily because many of the families haven't even buried their loved ones, whether it be a child or spouse/daughter/mother. I remember having to go through the process with my ex mil when she had to bury my bil, only 19. Processing his death didn't even start until after his funeral (that's just kind of how it works). I feel the families deserve all the emotional support that can be provided & shift to policy takes away from that. They are still in just the very beginning days of their grief, really the numb holding it together stage, & I feel out of respect for them we can still be in mourning with them. T.H.O.U. on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451866 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:17:31 +0000 T.H.O.U. 451866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ All I can do is pray for the families and pray for us as a nation and as the world. I don't think anyone knows the status of his mental situation or why he did this. But, I do think we need to bring light to the fact that is very hard to get help and assistance for a mental illness in this country. Mrsbells on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451852 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:11:50 +0000 Mrsbells 451852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It really does bother me, I just cant and dont even want to imagine how those parents feel right now. I am angry that there are too many guns in the system that can easily get into the wrong hands. heffalump on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451848 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:10:08 +0000 heffalump 451848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I haven't watched the news or read much about it. I suffer from severe migraines and crying happens to be a major trigger. If I want to be able to take care of my LO, I can't cry. But still I have cried and I have had a migraine, and I haven't been able to take care of my LO, and my mom has had her. Which makes me cry even more because it terrifies me to have her away from me now. keepcalmcarrie on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451821 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:56:14 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 451821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsTiz: Thank you for posting their names -- I think that's the most important focus in our national grieving process, making sure we remember the victims here, not the killer. Not to make an insensitive comparison, but if you're a dog owner and you know your dog might be aggressive, you have a responsibility to keep other dogs and other owners safe. I feel it's the same with children, regardless of their age -- if they're under your roof, they are your responsibility. If you know your son is disturbed and you must have weapons in the house, make sure ONLY you can access them. I think that's just common sense. I don't blame the mother for this tragedy -- the shooter bears the responsibility for this alone. But if it were one of my babies being buried, you can be damn sure I'd want meaningful policy change. There are too many deaths as a result of gun violence in this country, and we are better than that. As a nation, our tears and our sympathy don't mean much if we can't figure out how to fix it. I agree that the day of the tragedy, Friday, was not the day for a gun control debate. But I do thing it's time to have that discussion now. abbydabbydoodlebug on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451817 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:53:54 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 451817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm not even a parent yet and I'm still having a hard time keeping myself together. I can't even imagine what I would be like if I had a baby of my own. Yesterday at church, we are going through the advent season and our topic was Hope. I pretty much cried through the entire service because I kept thinking about those poor babies and teachers who lost their lives. MrsTiz on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451807 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:50:24 +0000 MrsTiz 451807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I also wish that he wouldn't have committed suicide. We could have at least gotten answers from him if he hadn't, now they will never know. RLCeigh on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451805 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:50:04 +0000 RLCeigh 451805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like the whole world, I just feel an incredible sadness. I think everyone processes in their own way, talking about prevention (ex gun control laws) is one way people can feel like they can have some control to stop something like this from happening again. I've been trying not to watch the news, read FB, etc but for some reason I feel compelled. I want to find something to understand how I can know this won't happen at my son's school-- in my town. I am trying to live 'better'- to honor the victims. When I dropped my son at daycare today I didn't rush out. I stayed for a morning dance and laugh with his classmates and it still gives me a happy feeling. I wish I could find something to do to help the families who lost loved ones-- I read about comfort dogs from Chicago that arrived in Newtown this weekend to spend time with families. I would love to support this effort. xo smocks on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451798 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:47:29 +0000 smocks 451798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This tragedy is such an overwhelmingly depressing situation. I am having a hard time processing it as well because there are so many different factors. The media tries to pick apart the "cause" of why this happened, and I honestly don't ever think we'll have an answer everyone's so desperately trying to come up with. It's so situational, and honestly I doubt it could have been prevented. And as painful as it is to say/think it, I doubt similar events will be able to be prevented in the future. Mental illness is a sad situation all around, but blaming any of these tragedies on "mental illness" is counter productive. Mental illness is SO prevalent, SO misunderstood, and SO stigmatized. I know many individuals who suffer from varying types of mental illness, and they are not violent individuals. Mental illness doesn't MAKE you violent. That being said, obviously people suffering from it should not have access to weaponry. Regardless of his mental status, which I doubt we will ever be able to understand, this was one individual who had easy access to semi-automatic guns (completely unnecessary for a civilian to own, IMO). He made a decision to inflict the most damage he could to a crowd with the least ability to defend themselves. He was looking for notoriety. You can't prevent someone from doing that. You can stop them once they establish a pattern (i.e. catching serial killers), but for an isolated incident, I think it would be incredibly hard to prevent. I don't know. I'm all for individual freedoms, the 2nd amendment being one of them, but restrictions should definitely be enforced. Like no semi or automatic artillery. There is absolutely no reason a civilian needs that, like ever. Alivoo01 on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451797 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:47:11 +0000 Alivoo01 451797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My heart still shatters every time I hear about this. They were so young and innocent. There was nothing they could have done to offend the gunman. Why were they the targeted subjects? Not saying it would have been better if it occurred in HS or College, but if it was due to bullying, etc. you could at least have a reason. These children were still just babies.... Maysprout on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451782 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:42:27 +0000 Maysprout 451782@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MrsTiz: Thanks for adding the names. Why would anyone deliberately target tiny children? I know child abuse exists so people are capable of hurting even the most vulnerable but ....I don't know. A person who came not out of war or tragedy but just their own mind warping that they could commit such an act. MrsTiz on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451764 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:32:28 +0000 MrsTiz 451764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Also just wanted to add this list of their names & ages. Blogger Kelle Hampton said it best "Whisper their names for their mamas. Not just "27 victims"...they have names." [attach=2456/12/mf6u64.450x450.121612_sandyhooknames.jpg] MrsTiz on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451757 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:25:27 +0000 MrsTiz 451757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @caffeinated: There is certainly a right time to talk about gun control, and it is not on a day where twenty children lost their lives. A random Tuesday, a gun-safety awareness event, a bill to provide more in-depth background checks to those buying guns, whatever. A day where twenty families are mourning the loss of their 6-7 year old is disgusting, disrespectful, and just plain sad. Lets talk about guns next week, or last week, or any.other.day where an elementary school didn't get assaulted. Maysprout on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451736 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:12:30 +0000 Maysprout 451736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pen: It's not disrespectful to disagree, I think it's an important conversation to have. Some of my roommates have owned guns and personally I've thought it irresponsible when I've seen them laid out (even though they've only been for hunting). While they may know their roommates they only know them so much. If you own a gun I think it's your responsibility to store them responsibly, you can't just lay them out for anyone passing through to access. By all accounts this kid was disturbed, if his mom wanted guns she should have kept her mentally disturbed son in mind when storing her guns. autumnlove on "Have you been thinking about Conn. a lot?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-been-thinking-about-conn-a-lot#post-451735 Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:12:14 +0000 autumnlove 451735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have been thinking about all the families involved. So sad!