https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 12:44:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-957326 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 18:05:29 +0000 immabeetoo 957326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly? Not really. I don't know if Im oblivious or what but I've never noticed any side eyes. I'd happily be confrontational if I did but no dice :) some of these comments are shocking me though!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-957316 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 17:57:53 +0000 mrsbookworm 957316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was at the mall today and stopped at the food court. LO woke up and started fussing. I was standing there, trying to calm him down and two women were glaring at me. Really? It's a food court, not Per Se!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-957281 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 17:42:11 +0000 banana 957281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, all the time! I get judged whenever I feed my DD food pouches, or when I feed her formula, or when I let my 3 year old play with my iphone while we're eating lunch. Oh I could go on and on. I really could care less though. It used to bother me a lot but I try not to think about it. I know I"m doing the best that I can and nobody knows how to raise the "perfect" child. My husband reminds me all the time "It's a long race. We'll see who wins at the end." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956114 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:14:14 +0000 lovehoneybee 956114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dagret: Haha judged if you do, judged if you don't!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956107 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:11:50 +0000 dagret 956107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FutureMrsMcK: ha, I get judged for putting our baby to sleep *so early* (730, max.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956102 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:11:11 +0000 dagret 956102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I got the Ems for Bubs, which i believe is what @rachiecakes has. L fell asleep during a concert and slept for 4.5 hours. And we also put them on him when we were in a cabin the middle of nowhere and our family was shooting outside - they're great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956091 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:08:19 +0000 lovehoneybee 956091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep, as recently as yesterday when I walked into the pedi's office soaked because DH had our car and it started raining on the walk there. DS was fine, perfectly dry under his stroller canopy, but that didn't matter. And later, when I was trying to speed walk us home I got comments from people under an awning about how he was going to catch pneumonia...in a 75 degree warm rain, when he was covered (and zonked out, so it wasn't bothering him any!)</p> <p>We also get judgy looks for keeping him out later. His bedtime isn't until 10. It works best for us so he and DH can sometimes see each other at night. But there are a ton of people who assume that every baby MUST go to bed at 6-7p, so if I'm out with him after that I must be forcing the poor dear to be awake. I have him on a schedule, sorry it's different than what you think a schedule should be. </p> <p>I really wish people would just mind their own business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956089 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:07:43 +0000 cheert16 956089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! Just this past weekend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956087 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:06:49 +0000 bisous 956087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ooh yes. A few times--usually older people giving me the stink eye when I can't calm LO down immediately in public. </p> <p>Also a couple weeks ago, a store associate chased me down at Sephora to tell me my baby looked uncomfortable in her car seat/stroller. She actually looked like she was going in to "fix" it herself before I said (yelled?) "it's fine, please don't touch her!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-956056 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:01:05 +0000 swedishfish 956056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: that older woman should've offered you her seat so you could've nursed your INFANT. What a jerk. You're a great mom :-)</p> <p>I haven't brought LO out anywhere yet except for my parents' house and ILs' house. We might bring her to the Gap later to return some clothes. I'm nervous! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955944 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:46:20 +0000 rachiecakes 955944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: we have these, both the infant one for when he was small and the toddler size.<br /> They work so well that DS fell asleep during soundcheck at House of Blues once! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955862 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:31:25 +0000 Foodnerd81 955862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: I know-- it's so none of my business. But I would never say anything out loud! And I really don't think I stare, beyond looking at the baby because babies in carriers, any carrier, are so cute! </p> <p>@MrsRoo: That's extra funny because I feel like I usually see more well to do people baby wearing in general! </p> <p>@grizz: Seriously, if you are going to stare, offer your seat. I had that in an airport while pregnant-- so many stares at my belly, but not a single offer of a seat. Yes, I'm pregnant and flying! I still need to sit down, thanks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955815 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:21:06 +0000 Boheme 955815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: @dagret: Not to thread jack my own thread, but I've got to get DS some noise canceling headphones since DH is a musician. Any recommendations? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955765 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:10:25 +0000 dagret 955765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we took our son to a music festival when he was 5 months old. We were super-prepared, noise-cancelling headphones, VIP tickets so we had access to air conditioning, etc...For the most part people were super supportive and thought it was awesome. On the way in though, one guy looked at our stroller and goes, "Well, that's a good idea...' really sarcastically. I *might have* yelled after him that it was none of his business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955731 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 11:00:19 +0000 keiki_mama 955731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: Oh my gosh! I laughed out loud. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955728 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:58:42 +0000 Boheme 955728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: hahaha! If she only knew! And even if I didn't care about the benefits of baby wearing, who can push a stroller and a grocery cart at the same time?! I sure as heck can't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955715 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:56:20 +0000 MrsRoo 955715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only been obviously judged once that I noticed. I was wearing LO in a ring sling in WalMart and as I was walking out this lady who looked like she belonged on that creatures of Walmart website said loudly to her man "Now THAT'S how you know you're in the ghetto. Where the hell is her stroller?!" *facepalm*</p> <p>It made me laugh, but I would be so pissed if I were in the shoes of some of you ladies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955711 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:55:12 +0000 Pepper 955711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I love that you said that to her! </p> <p>Reading these makes me so annoyed. I hate rude/judgy people! I had to rush to the pediatrician's office one morning to make a last minute appointment for GI troubles LO was having. The waiting room was full of moms with older kids and they all stared at me while I lugged the infant carrier into the office with my messy hair and no makeup. Then they stared at me while I sat down to wait. No smiles! When I got back into the exam room, I saw I still had a huge size small strip running down the side of my shirt! Embarrassing to be such a frazzled mess... and side eye stares don't help. Just smile if you're going to stare and judge! At least pretend you're nice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955673 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:46:51 +0000 Boheme 955673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmate: haha! I need to work on my Jedi-level death stare. </p> <p>I will admit that I finally lost my cool on the old lady in the waiting room and said 'CAN I HELP YOU?!' the fourth or fifth time I looked up and she was still staring at me. If she was *that* concerned about my child she could've offered me her chair. I just can't get him latched and nursing while standing up! He was only fussing long enough for the nurse to find us a chair to sit in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955669 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:45:49 +0000 wahine08 955669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh just reading these irritates me. People need to mind their own business! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955660 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:43:40 +0000 mrsmate 955660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been judged plenty but I really don't care anymore. Now that DD is 2.5yo my death stare is at a Jedi level.</p> <p>I loved my Bjorn and will be using it with LO2. Sorry @Foodnerd81: but the Moby/Ergo evangelizers are so annoying. I say this as a Ergo owner myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955653 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:42:29 +0000 rachiecakes 955653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I tried to give mine away (we only used it for a few months, once he could sit up he was fine with the Ergo) and no one would take it!</p> <p>I seriously spent hundreds on carriers because I wanted to babywear so badly, I tried everything out there!, but he hated anything that faced in or resembled a swaddle. My kid... haha </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955651 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:42:14 +0000 Boheme 955651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bookworm: Aww :( I've been there! It doesn't help that my baby displays almost ZERO cues before he loses his mind crying. Impatience...The first trait I can tell he inherited from me. Heh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955644 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:40:55 +0000 Dandelion 955644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah...just a couple weeks ago, even...</p> <p>It's been raining non stop around here. One day DS and I went to a magic show at the local library. It was fun, we had fun, but it rained while we were in there. It stopped before we left, but it left our car in the middle of a puddle. I, very ninja-like, reached over and opened the door so that DS could get in. He then stood there, holding the door to let me go by (it was noble of him, but it wasn't practical), but if I did, I would have ended up ankle deep in water. He kept insisting I go by, but I kept telling him to just get in the car, and I finally just yelled, "just get in the car!" and he cried.</p> <p>A man near us just looked at me like I was mean and abusive...blah. I just didn't want to be wading at the moment. I got in just fine without getting wet, but I needed DS to get in the car, first and close the door. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955634 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:40:03 +0000 googly-eyes 955634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup! I remember getting all sorts of looks when dd was about two months and we took her to a mall and she threw a fit (the norm those days) and as I was rushing out to the car people were turning around and staring at us walking by and some were giving me some nasty looks.. Ive also gotten direct criticism for not bf by people who have no idea how things went when i tried to bf (and even if I hadnt.. not their place!) been criticized flr bedtime. been told about how the paci will ruin her speech by someone with no kids. been pointed at and talked loudly about by steangers about no shopping cart cover! Nowadays I really don't care though!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955623 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:38:49 +0000 Bookish 955623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: ugh I got judged so much for drinking soda and flipping non alcoholic beer. My BIL had the nerve to ask me if I was drinking NA beer to "wean myself" off of real beer. No, jerkface, I'm not an alcoholic.</p> <p>I felt like everyone in target was judging me this weekend when LO started crying in the store. I'm so terrified to take her anywhere :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955611 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:36:46 +0000 Foodnerd81 955611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: I admit-- I've seen people using a bjorn and I always think, Don't they know the Ergo is more comfortable? THINK, mind you, not say, but... sorry. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955605 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:35:48 +0000 loveisstrange 955605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: Ughh... the bottle glare. I hate that women even have to be defensive about this. Mind your own business! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955599 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:34:59 +0000 Foodnerd81 955599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't here yet, but I did get blatantly judged for having coffee while pregnant. I have one small cup a day. This is well within the OK amount. If i order it out I'll get half caf since I don't know how strong the coffee shop makes it. Twice on one weekend trip I had the barrista say "You can drink coffee?? Are you sure? I thought you couldn't have any!" Or "MY doctor told me not to drink any but OK..." I was like... um, thank you, Starbucks lady, but my midwife is fine with it and I'd like my small half caf now with a side of judgment." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-noticed-yourself-being-judged#post-955592 Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:32:58 +0000 rachiecakes 955592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: I feel like I have! I don't know if I'm paranoid.. lol</p> <p>I remember getting him a bottle while we were out and feeling totally judged - I wanted to scream, "it's breastmilk, people!!" </p> <p>We've brought DS out to DH's place of work - concert venues and hockey arenas - and I feel like I get the stare from other parents. His ears are well protected (and professionally outfitted with noise cancelling headphones) and he's always been a go-with-the-flow kind of kid. We cater to his needs and have his on a very loose schedule, it works for us. </p> <p>When he was tiny he haaaated to be worn and I felt like I was the only mom in my area with a stroller. Then when he did agree to be worn, it was only facing out in the Bjorn and everyone loved to tell me about the Moby (never used and returned) and Ergo (that I was desperate to use but DS was not having it). </p> <p>I try not to take it to heart. I'm here to please and care for my child, nobody else. :) </p>