https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 07:18:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2273010 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 15:57:22 +0000 AmandaB8 2273010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I discussed this last night because of this convo - I will definitely donate eggs and he's 100% supportive of it (after he gets snipped).. </p> <p>I'm actually excited about the future to do this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272755 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:35:36 +0000 ShootingStar 2272755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The question is kind of moot for me at this point because I'm 37 and not sure I want to ever be pregnant again, and no one wants 37 year old eggs. But if I was younger I still think I couldn't do it. I hate about 95% of being pregnant, so I don't think I could've been a surrogate. It was really hard on my body and I had GD. And I think egg retrieval is really tough thing to go through so that a stranger can have a baby that will be related to you.</p> <p>On the other hand, if at some point we need IVF and we had extra embryos I would probably be on board with donating them for adoption. For one, the process would already be done, it's not something extra to go through. And two, you can have involvement in finding parents for them. I'd be a little weirded out that other people are raising kids that are technically ours, but we can only have so many kids and this would give them a chance at a life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272752 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:33:57 +0000 IRunForFun 2272752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: I feel the same way about sperm as I do about eggs. The child would technically be DH's biological child and I'm personally not comfortable with that (nor is he.) Like I said above, some people are comfortable with it, and thank goodness for that, but it's OK not to be, too.</p> <p>DH's sister and her wife were discussing the possibility of children and the idea of DH donating sperm to his sister-in-law was touched upon, but neither of us felt OK about it at all. We wouldn't be comfortable knowing the child was biologically his and watching it be raised by his sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272751 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:29:31 +0000 IRunForFun 2272751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I'd qualify to donate eggs, due to a blood clotting disorder that precludes me from doing any hormone treatments or therapies. Even if I could, I wouldn't. Like others, I wouldn't be able to separate myself from the idea that a child who was biologically mine was out there somewhere. It takes very special people to be egg or embryo donors, and I'm glad these people exist, but I'm OK not being one of them. I know I couldn't do it and I don't feel badly about that. </p> <p>I would possibly consider being a surrogate using another couple's embryo, but I doubt that would arise as a possibility, because I wouldn't do it till after I'd successfully carried my own pregnancy(ies) and I haven't yet. By the time I do I think I'd be considered AMA and wouldn't qualify as a surrogate. I'd still consider it for my sister and my BFF though if they couldn't conceive and really wanted children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272644 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:29:04 +0000 wonderstruck 2272644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could not be a surrogate because I am an extremely sick pregnant person. HG level morning sickness that always involved IV fluids (and did I mention I'm a needlephone?) plus gestational diabetes (back to the needle problem)...it's just awful for me.</p> <p>With egg donation...I'm not sure I could handle the shots and everything for the procedure. If somehow it could be done without them, I would love to be able to help someone that way. Theoretically, anyways. In reality DH would not be okay with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272075 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 19:58:44 +0000 Mrs. Peanut 2272075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually worked with a woman who was a surrogate. She was awesome! When I was younger, surrogacy or egg donation were always things that I thought I would want to get into some day. Now being older, I just don't see it. I view the whole thing differently and just don't think I would do it, unfortunately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272073 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 19:56:01 +0000 Tanjowen 2272073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would happily donate eggs and wish I had when I was younger. Surrogacy is definitely not for me because I am not a fan of being pregnant, and while I have no attachment to my eggs, I have a hard time wrapping my head around carrying a baby and then it not being mine. I think those that do surrogacy are amazing people for the gift they can give to others! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272070 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 19:49:05 +0000 jaguar 2272070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do both, if I could.</p> <p>Egg donation is pretty damn special. And if we end up down that road &amp; got a successful pregnancy from it, I don't know how I would ever be able to express the gratitude for such a gift.</p> <p>I had a beautiful pregnancy with G, and would be thrilled to give that gift to someone else - but seeing as my body doesn't seem to want to be pregnant again, surrogacy would definitely be off the table for us now. We're exhausted as it is trying for #2. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272064 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 19:39:55 +0000 ElbieKay 2272064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only do one or the other, not both. (I.e., I would not want to carry a baby that was genetically mine, and then give it up.)</p> <p>I would only do it once I was done having kids, and for my sister or an extremely short list of very close friends. (My husband is an only child.)</p> <p>Since I am 38 and have a 17mo and we are still contemplating a second child for our family, the odds of this happening are extremely low. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2272030 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 18:59:35 +0000 BSB 2272030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, I'll add that I went through a retrieval for IVF and I had little to no pain. I am lucky to have no pain.</p> <p>Prior to having IF and when I decided to go through egg donation application, what got me through the anticipation of pain was that there are mothers out there that have gone through cancer treatments and the pain they went through is probably nothing compared to the pain of a retrieval. I would take being sore for a few days for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271996 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 18:16:40 +0000 youboots 2271996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No egg donation... Both of our siblings already have their own biological children and those are the only people I could donate to.</p> <p>Not likely for surrogacy. I had GD and Pre E and was miserable. I considered offering for my friends who were being treated for IF (after I successfully had my first) but they got divorced shortly before I got pregnant- not sure if I would have offered after my experience but it was something I felt strongly about at the time. Again since our siblings have kids, it's unlikely. I recently have had a falling out with someone who was like a sister to me, you just never know, the situation has been eye opening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271988 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 18:10:27 +0000 winniebee 2271988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have high risk pregnancies so wouldn't be a surrogate. But I think I would donate my eggs to a family member. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271981 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 18:07:36 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2271981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had three remarkably easy pregnancies. If my deliveries had been easier I'd definitely have considered surrogacy.<br /> I'd donate eggs when we're done having kids. I wouldn't want to go through all the retrieval tough stuff until I know for sure my family was complete. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271970 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:45:36 +0000 Rockies11 2271970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've discussed this at length because I have a gay BIL who wants kids so will need donated eggs and a surrogate. I would be fine with donating an egg to a close friend or family member only because I would view the child as a sort of half sibling to my kids and would want them to have a chance to know them. </p> <p>I have HG pregnancies, so before my first I would have said I was game. After my first I still thought I might be able to do it as a last resort for my sister or BIL only. After my second HG pregnancy and trying to take care of a toddler during it, I am pretty sure no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't even do it for my BIL or sister. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271966 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:41:56 +0000 DesertDreams88 2271966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Though no one would want my PCOS-addled eggs, I'd definitely donate them, and "allow" DH to donate sperm. However, I would not be a surrogate. Too emotionally taxing and physically draining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271952 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:34:38 +0000 travellingbee 2271952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would not be a surrogate because I am a very sick pregnant person. I just can't do this again. As far as eggs, I'd have no problem doing it but I'm too old and have poor egg quality. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271949 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 17:31:09 +0000 winter_wonder 2271949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used donor eggs. I am so, thankful and grateful there are women out there willing to donate. I don't think I can even put into words what an amazing gift it is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271919 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 16:29:00 +0000 lovehoneybee 2271919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: I feel the same. I might do it anonymously, but I wouldn't want it to be someone I was close with. I think that would just be too hard. I'd consider surrogacy for a few very close friends, but not for just anyone. I don't enjoy pregnancy at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271896 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:47:19 +0000 Torchwood 2271896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be willing to do either. I love being pregnant, but don't want more kids, so I would actually want to be a surrogate for a close friend/family member if needed. However, given my history (which likely stems from a genetic condition), I would be a terrible choice of donor or surrogate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271893 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:45:31 +0000 agold 2271893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: I am curious about the same thing. That's so nice you applied to be an egg donor. I'm always surprised that someone would be considered too old. If you had your own successful pregnancy with your eggs, I would think your eggs would be ideal for donating. It blows my mind to use the eggs of a donor without a proven pregnancy (as my sister did with me, but I was free so...) And awesome for you that egg retrieval wasn't terrible for you. For me, it felt like death. I wouldn't do it again no matter how much the clinic offered me to do it (even putting aside that the compensation for what I considered "pain and suffering" is considered taxable income, ugh.) And now I'm having to do it for my own IVF. Funny how life works out. Hopefully I was just overly dramatic about it all when I did it 4+ years ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271890 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:36:47 +0000 AprilFool 2271890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't enjoy pregnancy enough to be a surrogate/gestational carrier but once I am done having kids I will donate some eggs, as long as they will take them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271888 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:35:11 +0000 LuLu Mom 2271888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do anonymous egg donation, but I think it would be hard for me to see the baby if it was to someone I know (something I have no plans on doing) </p> <p>If I was done having my own children I would be a surrogate for a family member or close friend who could not have a child. I actually offered this to my younger sister after her 3rd miscarriage, she has since had 2 healthy children. My hold back is that I have C-sections so if I have a third of my own, I get into "dangerous" territories. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271875 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:26:57 +0000 cheert16 2271875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My brother and his husband say they don't want kids- but I feel like they may change their mind. If they ever asked me to do either- I would for them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271874 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:26:48 +0000 meganmp 2271874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I curious about all of those that say they couldn't donate eggs because of DNA attachment, and if those people would ever consider using donor eggs if they had any IF issues.</p> <p>I would totally be a surrogate, because even though I'm terrible at getting pregnant, I rock at staying pregnant. I applied to be an egg donor, but I'm too old. Since I had already done an egg retrieval, I know that it's not really that terrible on me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271855 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:02:58 +0000 MamaBehr 2271855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I wasn't married with children (ie in college), I would donate eggs. But, since I have kids, I couldn't help but think that they would have a half sibling out in the world and I don't like that idea. </p> <p>I would be a surrogate in a flash, but only to a stranger. I don't think that I could do it for a family member or close friend because I feel like the proximity would be hard (how could they not be overly involved and lines would be hard to be drawn. I just feel like my diet would be micromanaged, work outs would be critiqued etc). But, that won't happen because I'm pregnant with my fourth and I have c-sections, there's no way they would let me be a surrogate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271844 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:52:47 +0000 Ms.Badger 2271844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my health history with Lucas, I would not donate eggs (and no one should want to take my eggs), prior to Lucas's health problems I would have been open to donation. I would be willing to be a surrogate for my sister and my cousin (and maybe other close family and friends) but I would insist on using their embryos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271838 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:45:27 +0000 Keybee 2271838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not up for either. I don't love being pregnant and wouldn't do it unless I had to. I also would t be comfortable with someone else raising my egg. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271835 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:43:56 +0000 lamariniere 2271835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be open to donating my eggs, but only anonymously. I'm probably getting too old for that though.</p> <p>I would consider surrogacy, but I would only do it for my brother or my best friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271833 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:42:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2271833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't do either. I wouldn't knowingly want a half-sibling for my children. As for surrogacy I don't want to be pregnant and give birth more than I have to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-ever-thought-about-donating-eggs-or-being-a-surrogate/page/2#post-2271827 Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:30:43 +0000 BSB 2271827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before TTC, I went through the process of completing the egg donation process. My profile was placed on hold after I started TTC. The thought of having kids out there that are half me doesn't bother me.</p> <p>Then I went through infertility... With failed IUIs and now a successful IVF.</p> <p>I highly doubt my eggs alone are wanted.</p> <p>Now after going through IVF and right now pregnant with twins, we do have to decide what will happen to our unused embryos. We have 5 left and I highly doubt I will have 5 more kids.<br /> Right now, it says they will be donated to research but I know of some fellow IVFers who have used donated embryos to get pregnant and I kinda feel like I should give back. It was so heart breaking to go through IF. Though, DH would have to agree, too. We have some time to decide and see our kids grow. </p> <p>As for surrogacy, even before having IF, I had trouble with being a surrogate. I think I was okay with doing it for a stranger and not so much for family. After being pregnant with HG and now with PPROM, I'm probably not a good candidate. </p>