Hellobee Boards Topic: Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 12:30:59 +0000 mediagirl on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115684 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:02:50 +0000 mediagirl 115684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It makes us both so sad to think about it that we don't talk about it. We have made plans for it - extra life insurance, a will, etc but we do not talk about it. For some reason we can talk about us both dying but not just one of us. Either way, both are taken care of. I can't even continue to think about this, it makes me too sad. BSB on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115644 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:18:44 +0000 BSB 115644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We talked about it here and there but nothing was written down. I don't have kids yet but I'm sure things will change when I have kids. We always said that we want each other to be happy if one of us passed away. So if that means to be remarried than that's fine. I would hope if I were to be re-married that I wouldn't be with someone who abuses my LO differently. chopsuey on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115634 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:11:25 +0000 chopsuey 115634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We have. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't remarry. You hear so many horror stories about steP fathers abusing children.. I don't think I could ever trust a man to love my babies like they were his flesh and blood. You just never know.. And I'm not willing to take that risk. Dh says he wont remarry (once is enough for him he says). Haha. I told him that if he finds a woman who can love and care for our kids, he has my blessing to remarry. Knowing him though I'm pretty sure he won't. I asked that he send the kids to visit with my family a couple time a year and told him I'd do the same for his fam. owlmom on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115631 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:08:18 +0000 owlmom 115631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrs. wagon: I'm so sorry about your friend :( We've talked about it. My dad died when I was little, so I've probably worried about it more than is necessary. littlebug on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115625 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:02:36 +0000 littlebug 115625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We're not pregnant yet, but even just to cover the 2 of us and so that we know each other's wishes, we have talked about it. We just completed/signed our living wills. We're looking into life insurance. At the moment, we each have our own alternate POA, but once we have children I think it would be important to have the same person named for both of us. We have kind of talked about who would be guardian to our chlidren, but we haven't made any final decisions. It is an extremely important conversation to have, and the more prepared you are the better. I am a social worker in a hospital, and I have seen too many times families that are unprepared and have to deal with trying to decide what their loved one would want and who should make the decision. Do yourselves and everyone who loves you a big favor and complete all the paperwork! tequiero21 on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115623 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:59:27 +0000 tequiero21 115623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We haven't really discussed it. I know we need to. I would want him to find love again.... Don't think he'd feel the same about me lol. But can't say for sure... Lozza on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115592 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:32:48 +0000 Lozza 115592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah, I think we pretty much know what would happen. If we both die, my sister gets custody and my parents would take an early retirement to move up here and help her... they'd do the same if I passed away, to help DH with LO. If DH passed away, I'd move in with my parents, either in my current town or back in my hometown. We both have life insurance and some other money set aside for emergencies, so we're in decent shape planning-wise. We're also lucky to have LOTS of family members who would want to step in and help us (both with LO and in general) if anything happened. LuLu Mom on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115574 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:16:17 +0000 LuLu Mom 115574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, we talked it through when getting our life insurance plan. We both want the other to make our future child(ren)'s life as normal as possible, and of course I would want my DH to get remarried if I pass away young so that way our chilren grew up in a home where love between a husband and wife is present. We also have started to make plans if we both pass away and what happens to LOs, this one is difficult on us. Trying to decide who gets custody and what not. Mrsbells on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115573 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:15:54 +0000 Mrsbells 115573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes there have been a few deaths in our circles recently, two of them involving the breadwinner of a family with young children, so we have definitely be talking about this more now and we have been looking into life insurance so that our child wont be destitute if one or both of us isnt here for her heffalump on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115569 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:14:12 +0000 heffalump 115569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ He knows I'd just want him to be happy, and he wants the same for me. Mrs. Bee on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115555 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:07:49 +0000 Mrs. Bee 115555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ i would love to have my mom help me, but i don't think i'd want to move back to california. so i'd probably stay in ny, but i'd get a live-in nanny! who knows though... it'd prolly still be too hard though so i may end up moving back! regberadaisy on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115542 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:00:12 +0000 regberadaisy 115542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, we have. Honestly, it's irresponsible not to talk about. Death is a reality of life. It can and will happen. It's also important to talk about what will happen if BOTH parents were to die. On our long list of things to do is life insurance policy (I have one through work but honestly would only cover a funeral), will and legal guardianship if we were both to pass. MamaMoose on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115538 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 12:56:23 +0000 MamaMoose 115538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Before I was pregnant we did talk about this a bit. I think even without kids in the picture I would want my husband to re-marry if I passed away at an early age. I wouldn't want my husband to be lonely and unhappy for the rest of his life just for the sake of protecting my memory. I would certainly hope we could both love again. There is no one in the world I'd rather be with than my husband, but I'm not a believer in soul mates. I believe my husband and I are very well suited to each other but I also believe we work hard to maintain a happy, loving, supportive marriage. I hope we would both be able to find that with someone else if tragedy happened. mrs. wagon on "Have you talked with your SO about plans if one of you were to pass away?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-you-talked-with-your-so-about-plans-if-one-of-you-were-to-pass-away#post-115527 Mon, 09 Apr 2012 12:48:10 +0000 mrs. wagon 115527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've been thinking about death (and life) a lot since a college friend of mine died on Good Friday. I like to have conversations with Wagon Sr. about what to do if one of us died. He hates it because he does not like to think about a reality where one of us dies. Before having children, it was easy to say passionate things like "I could never live without you"... but with children you have to be realistic in that your life would have to move on as quickly as possible to make life as "normal" as possible for your children as they grow up. Aka you couldn't be selfish and commit suicide to die with your SO because that would leave your children completely orphaned... and for most people it would be best to remarry so that your children could have more of a "complete" family with a step parent, or more children for siblings, etc. We still have trouble talking about it, but I'm hoping to get an idea from him about what kind of man he'd want me to marry if he were to pass away at a young age. I keep joking that I'll just find some older, very rich workaholic man. Kind of like being a single mom, but with the benefit of someone else's money ;) Hey, if I can't be with Wagon Sr., I might as well be rich, right?? ;) I have no idea whether I'd be able to fall in love again... maybe. Probably? I guess I don't like to think about it much either.