https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 03 Apr 2026 22:48:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2655325 Mon, 21 Nov 2016 13:56:23 +0000 Mommy Finger 2655325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're lucky in that my parents live 3 miles from us and have been our normal babysitters. But I'm very conscious of abusing that since I felt like my brother and SIL did for a bit and didn't want to do the same. For that reason, we don't usually go out that much and when we do use them, we make sure to show them how much we appreciate it. However, my mom has mentioned that it would be good for us to find another babysitter so we don't have to rely on them and I totally agree with her. We just haven't had the time to yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2655301 Mon, 21 Nov 2016 13:21:34 +0000 snowjewelz 2655301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No; they know we can't afford it plus they live 20 min away and his parents 30. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654990 Sun, 20 Nov 2016 14:57:25 +0000 Cherrybee 2654990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws have E 3 afternoons a week so we wouldn't ask them to do any more so we could have a date night..... But my mum, oh lordy! She has never, ever watched either of our children and, when I asked her to once, she gave me this huge lecture on how I should "look after my own children". Later, she contacted me and offered to pay towards a sitter if we needed to get out so desperately. Umm, yeah, I can afford the sitter I just thought you might like to spend time with your own grandchildren. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654931 Sun, 20 Nov 2016 08:09:05 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2654931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. We don't always ask my parents to babysit during visits but after I had PPD/A with my first my mom visited a lot and helped during the visits, and they always offered so had that arrangement the first couple of years. 'Now we have two kids so that changes things as well (eta for us anyway, with the separation anxiety and the last time we went there being with a 2 month old...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654891 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 23:46:48 +0000 anonysquire 2654891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: same!!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654890 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 23:46:21 +0000 anonysquire 2654890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No but all my siblings live close by and have young kids and they all have my parents babysit weekly. So I don't feel like adding to that. I ask them to babysit maybe twice a year for a dentist appt or similar. I don't get the vibes from them that they want to babysit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654889 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 23:38:47 +0000 yellowbird 2654889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: or maybe your dad just wants you to have more date nights when they arent able to watch her?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter/page/2#post-2654852 Sat, 19 Nov 2016 20:41:10 +0000 SweetCaroline 2654852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, but I wish they would tell my SILs that. I feel bad that we get a paid babysitter so often, rather than asking DHs parents. However, I just can't ask them when they are burnt out from watching my niece and nephew constantly.</p> <p>I tend to agree with @ocean81: , my mom lives out of town and fully supported us finding a babysitter so we could nuture our marriage via date night. Perhaps that's the angle he was taking? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654641 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 22:08:35 +0000 sapphire 2654641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, we're lucky to have my parents 40 mins away and ILs 20 mins away though. However we only ask about once per month. But I know both sets would be offended if we didn't ask them first because they like spending time with LO. We make sure to see both sets a couple times per month though without babysitting need, so I know they don't feel "used." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654608 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 20:57:42 +0000 ocean81 2654608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first thought when reading this was that your parents feel bad they live far away and can't pop over for a random date night! I bet it just came out wrong :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654544 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 17:28:35 +0000 birdofafeather 2654544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>kinda different, but when we moved closer to my mom, i thought she would have a regular schedule during the week to care for DD2 while i worked and when that didn't work out as scheduled, she said i should put in the same "school" as DD1. had to reset my expectations on that one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654538 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 17:14:02 +0000 LuLu Mom 2654538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our parents both live 10-15 minutes away, my MIL lives for babysitting, seriously says "go on a date, I want the kids for the night." My parents I think got burned out on my older nieces and they don't babysit as much...which is fine since MIL wants them all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654520 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:25:44 +0000 nana87 2654520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only if they want to go out with dh and I together, like for the 4 of us to celebrate a specialist occasion or try a new restaurant. They usually will say "can you get a babysitter? If not you two have a date night" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654516 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:22:44 +0000 mediagirl 2654516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sketchbook: oh yes. My parents retired 14 years ago in their 50's and they have led very active lifestyles since retirement. They are out in the evenings 4-5 times a week and do daytime activities 4-5 times a week, as well. I always try to give them a lot of advance notice and have only asked them to come last minute when our kiddo was super, duper sick and we couldn't take the time off work. </p> <p>It's just a weird situation to be in. I kind of see @andrea's point, they are definitely getting older and I'm starting to worry about their health/mental health. They are thinking of moving to our town for their next "retirement". haha</p> <p>@purplelilac My husband and I don't do a lot of social activities together. I'm the one who goes out and socializes, he's a homebody. I think it might be my parents not understanding that and thinking we may want to go out more....even though we don't....since they are both social butterflies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654514 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:21:27 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2654514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purplelilac: I think it is harder to find sitters than it seems. Around here high schoolers/college kids are super over scheduled. Plus sitters don't do overnights and to me, an overnight once every two months is superior to a date night once a month or even once a week, if you can't afford both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654512 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:18:39 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2654512@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also this has been a factor in deciding against 3. We just don't think we would ever get a break and we can't fathom not getting one every once in a while. Typically our parents watch our kids overnight and I can't envision them dealing with three. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654509 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:17:16 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 2654509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, but I worry about putting them out so we try to balance family together time with babysitting time. It is a hard balance and I always feel anxious about it. </p> <p>I think that our parents are different from the ones who preceded them. They are more into the "active adult" lifestyle and like their free time. Whereas our grandparents were more settled into the retired, family oriented lifestyle, our parents are like, going on cruises and to Vegas, going kayaking etc. So far we haven't had anyone make any comments but I do feel aware of the possibility of putting them out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654505 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:11:24 +0000 rachiecakes 2654505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: same! my parents have little patience for children and don't like to watch my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654504 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:08:22 +0000 LemonJack 2654504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Do you know any middle or high school teachers? I've been able to pass on the names of responsible students (who like to babysit) to friends of mine who are looking for babysitters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654503 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 16:06:08 +0000 LemonJack 2654503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like others have said, maybe he meant it in a nice way, just encouraging you to take more time for yourselves? But I would be offended too, just from the way it sounds like it came off, so I get it. It doesn't sound like you have them babysit all the time, so that would hurt my feelings a bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654472 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 15:10:31 +0000 purplelilac 2654472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: we have recruited them from my alma mater university which is only a few miles away. In addition our local family group hosts a biannual babysitter meet and greet where middle school and high schoolers interested in babysitters can meet families looking for sitters. And of course word of mouth. </p> <p>My husband travels 2-4 nights a week (typically with 1-2 days notice) so we "joke" that if I ever need to make evening plans I need to pre-book a sitter just in case he isn't around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654428 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 14:08:24 +0000 dc yoga bee 2654428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are the opposite. When I mentioned we were going to ask this nice older couple to babysit Maya, they freaked out. They don't want anyone outside of the family babysitting. But, my family is weird like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654416 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:59:49 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2654416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents bend over backwards to watch my girls but they both work full time so I try not to ask too often. (15 min drive). My in-laws literally live so close that I'm comfortable letting my 3year old walk there by herself (I watch from the window) and she has never babysat and would totally suffer I get a babysitter. She's not even 60 yet and doesn't work and used to keep my niece all the time but God forbid she spend one second alone with my kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654409 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:47:32 +0000 erinbaderin 2654409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@purplelilac: But how do you find babysitters? I would love to have a person I trust to leave my kids with but I don't know how to go about setting that up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654408 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:46:01 +0000 Andrea 2654408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a different idea. Maybe he's thinking of his age and just wants you to have a back up for the day when they can't make the drive anymore? :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654404 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 13:39:56 +0000 purplelilac 2654404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see where your dad is coming from. And honestly I am shocked by the number of people I know who don't have a list of regular sitters. Parenting is hard and no joke. Parents need breaks and they should not be limited to when grandparents can visit. I hear this coming from your dad. I would think he just wants to make you guys feel more independent and no relying on them.</p> <p>My two cents. Personally, I would have zero life without babysitters. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654380 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:29:34 +0000 Truth Bombs 2654380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Ah, gotcha. Then in that case my parents would happily do that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654378 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:28:12 +0000 PawPrints 2654378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok re-reading it, maybe the issue is that your invitations for them to come spend the weekend with you tend to be centered around these parties and date nights? Maybe that makes them feel a little used? I could see the "you should get a babysitter" comment making sense if they feel like you're totally dependent on them making the weekend trip every time in order for you to ever get out of the house.</p> <p>They might have less of an issue with it if you were just inviting them randomly because you want to see them, and then babysitting could happen while they're there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654376 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:25:59 +0000 PawPrints 2654376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would make me so sad, I'm sorry this is happening to you. It makes no sense that your parents would complain about babysitting during their visits a few times a year. I would ask your dad frankly, say you hadn't realized it was such an inconvenience for them to babysit during their visits and encourage him to share his feelings with you - I feel like there has to be something more behind it. It just seems odd he wouldn't want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/have-your-parents-ever-told-you-to-get-a-babysitter#post-2654361 Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:14:58 +0000 catomd00 2654361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Inlaws? No, never! They'd cancel their plans for us in a heartbeat and they already watch both kids 3x a week! My parents might, but they love far away and I don't trust my mother alone with my kids anyways so I'll never have a chance to find out! </p>