https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 03:25:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711634 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:15:12 +0000 LuLu Mom 711634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ummmm....I'm going to hold my tounge on this response, yes there are needy children out there, however having a child is such a personal and loving choice that the thinking is backwards to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711630 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:14:12 +0000 pui 711630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I think my sister's trying to say is that no one should apparently ever have any biological children until all the orphanages are empty. Until then, getting pregnant is the most selfish thing in the world in her opinion.</p> <p>So, having the urge to have kids is alright, but then getting pregnant is selfish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711626 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:13:41 +0000 heffalump 711626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ummm...... if her mother decided having kids was selfish so she wouldn't do it, she wouldn't be here right now! I'm thankful that my parents decided to have me. No, I didn't ask to be here because that's impossible. But I'm glad I am here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711625 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:13:27 +0000 googly-eyes 711625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Selfish is having a child when you can't give said child a good life (not only financially.) Yes, there is some selfish aspect to it I guess but the act of parenting is anything but. Plus, the idea that everyone should adopt until all adoptable children are adopted is kind of crazy and I don't think it would work out so well for most.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711622 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:13:00 +0000 Meltini 711622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mrs. Jacks said it perfectly. It is selfish, but that doesn't mean it is a bad thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711616 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:11:26 +0000 mamimami 711616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>EVERYTHING we do is selfish in some way. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't do anything. Ignore her and enjoy the amazing mix of selfishness and selflessness of being a mama! :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711557 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:57:28 +0000 illumina 711557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with everything @Mrs. Jacks: said. Most decisions we make in life are selfish... but I can't imagine it any other way. </p> <p>I tend to ignore comments and not get involved in discussions about children with friends who are against having children. For some reason, they seem to have unnecessary anger about a situation they won't have to deal with. It's like they're trying to convince themselves all the time they're making the right decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711555 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:57:06 +0000 Raindrop 711555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: took the words right out of my mouth. Well said! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711542 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:53:24 +0000 MsMini 711542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally think having kids is selfish and narcissistic! Doesn't change my mind about wanting them though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711496 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:41:44 +0000 sosaysmegan 711496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks put it really well, I think. Sure, it's less of a biological imperative now, but that doesn't mean we've evolved past that. (Millions of years from now, maybe.)</p> <p>And really, if you're against having kids? DON'T HAVE A KID. This works both ways: I won't go around telling child-free women that they absolutely should have babies, and they can all agree to leave me alone about my reproductive choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711453 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:23:55 +0000 .twist. 711453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: I was just going to say the same thing. No matter what side of the fence you're on in this, it's selfish!! haha. Can't win with the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711443 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:21:19 +0000 yoursilverlining 711443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sure, having kids is a totally selfish thing to do. We do it....like most everything else in our lives....because we want to. So, yeah, like everything else in life; you can call it a selfish choice. It's a lose-lose; you hear "selfish choice" against both people who have kids and people who chose not too. Just gotta keep on keeping on with your happy family :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711435 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:16:05 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 711435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I heard a talking head on TV once describe the desire for people to have children as one of the most narcissistic acts as people we do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711411 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:07:59 +0000 Dapple Grey 711411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So what would the alternative be? People stop having sex? Or if you want sex, Be forced into using birth control and then abortions for any mistakes? I get what she is saying, however biologically its not very realistic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711403 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:05:04 +0000 meredithNYC 711403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I agree. Yes, in essence procreating is a selfish act, but it doesn't make one a bad person. </p> <p>I also think there's a way of sharing this point of view without being offensive, which is perhaps something your sister needs to work on? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711401 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:04:45 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 711401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: yah thanks! There wouldn't be anybody here if we didn't have the biological urge to procreate!<br /> And for those who are CFBC, they even us out so thr were not too populated ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711388 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:01:36 +0000 jmarionsmith 711388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: totally agree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711365 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:55:21 +0000 DillonLion 711365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It may be selfish, but it is also biological like @Mrs. Jacks: said. If we didn't have the urge to procreate, our species could never perpetuate itself. Tell her it is science's fault! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711360 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:53:53 +0000 BananaPancakes 711360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Exactly what I was going to say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711359 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:53:31 +0000 CottonCandy 711359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pui: I'm sorry to hear that :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711356 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:52:34 +0000 pui 711356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CottonCandy: Like I said, my sister is unstable... she suffers from a lot of emotional problems and in general has a pretty poor outlook on life.</p> <p>However, I have heard similar stuff from people who are what I call "crazy childfree". Not just people who choose to not have kids and go on with their lives but those who choose not to have kids and look down on anyone who does. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711350 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:51:42 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 711350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is selfish, but I don't think that equates with "bad". There is a book called, "The selfish gene" and there are lots of reasons we have a biological imperative to procreate. That doesn't make you a bad person in any way.</p> <p>Adopting, having bio kids are both selfish acts. It fills a need in us, whatever that need might be. Anyone who says that they are doing it for altruistic reasons might want to re-examine.</p> <p>(All of this is said in love by the way). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711349 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:51:32 +0000 babycanuck 711349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are plenty of children that need a good home in the world. There are also lots of people who would prefer to have their own biological children. I don't think it's anyone else's place to judge. Just like judging people who don't have kids - you don't know if they made the choice not to have them, or can't have them for whatever reason.</p> <p>When she is in a similar position as you, that's when she can comment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711348 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:51:06 +0000 CottonCandy 711348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No offense, but I think your sister has one of the most strange outlooks on starting a family I have heard of...Selfish??? So nobody is supposed to have biological children? That is odd! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-baby-selfish#post-711341 Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:48:45 +0000 pui 711341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister said this to me yesterday. She doesn't know that my DH and I are TTC, but she certainly knows that we want kids.</p> <p>She told me "Getting pregnant and having a kid is the most selfish thing you can do. That kid didn't ASK to be born. People decide that THEY want the kid, so they selfishly bring one in to the world. Don't they care that the world is overpopulated already? And what about all the kids that are already born that don't have families? People are so selfish they need to have a biological kid."</p> <p>Now, my sister has some mental instabilities, but I have heard similar comments from "Hardcore Childfree" people.</p> <p>Obviously I am trying to have a biological child of my own, but idk... it struck me in a bad place. </p>