https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 05:26:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294313 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 22:05:49 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 2294313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the kind words everyone. I know a lot of you are right saying that men grieve differently than us. I finally lost it (like, really lost it) when the dinner I was cooking got ruined and DD was upset because she was hungry. I just had to leave and shut myself our room and have a good cry/scream-in-the-pillow session. And coincidentally, when I was coming out, he was coming in at the same time to check on me. So I explained everything and he said sorry and explained that he didn't even have the time to think about it while at work, so it hadn't even really hit him yet, which I honestly hadn't even thought about. </p> <p>But anyway, we're OK now. I'm feeling much better now. I know I'm blessed with a very kind and sweet husband. It's hard to remember the good when you're hurting so much. Thank you for letting me vent. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294252 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 21:15:51 +0000 sapphire 2294252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't gone through this, but many men grieve through distraction and ignoring the situation. I doubt that he doesn't care. You might have to be very direct with what you need. I know that's very hard, but for a lot of men having a plan, suggestions, something concrete to do helps them be helpful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294217 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 20:50:49 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2294217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. :(</p> <p>I can relate to the husband part. My husband will sometimes know something is wrong or that I'm really upset about something and do absolutely nothing, and if I bring it up he says it wouldn't have made a difference...which I guess can be true, but then it still hurts because I feel like he doesn't care. Sorry he doesn't really get it. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294184 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 20:34:49 +0000 Boogs 2294184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Virtual hugs, I would feel the same as you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294168 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 20:28:47 +0000 Ash 2294168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294125 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 20:02:41 +0000 MrsKoala 2294125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. Men just don't get it. My husband just kept saying well at least we have LO and he's all we need. Definitely not what I wanted to hear because I desperately wanted the baby we lost. he never did say what I needed to hear. I'm still sad about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294071 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:59:34 +0000 Nutella 2294071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear this :heart: that must be so tough. I agree that husbands can't always understand these losses to the extent we can. My DH is super compassionate and caring but he also didn't quite get it, it really upset me. But he did acknowledge later that he realised the same thing - which made it a bit easier. Second finding an understanding gal pal to talk it through with though. :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294066 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:54:45 +0000 Truth Bombs 2294066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think each time I got pregnant it took a while for it to sink in for my husband. So when we had an early miscarriage, he was super supportive of me but wasn't nearly as upset as I was, because I don't think he really even thought of the pregnancy as being real yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294064 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:52:08 +0000 winniebee 2294064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294059 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:39:43 +0000 Anya 2294059@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294058 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:36:51 +0000 catlady 2294058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so so sorry. I think husbands have a really hard time with this because they aren't as connected to the babies as early. I have the most amazing DH in the world but I went through something similar when we lost our first pregnancy. It was so hard feeling like he didn't understand. Maybe it would help to talk with a close female relative or friend? Hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294052 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:32:05 +0000 Bao 2294052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :( hugs </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294051 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:30:19 +0000 Kimberlybee 2294051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am very sorry for the pain you are going through, emotionally and physically. Your husband is probably handling it the best way he knows how to. I still cry and grieve over my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was definitely more emotionally invested in the dream of motherhood than he was for me. The time hasn't erased the dream of what could have been at all. I am very thankful for our daughter but to me that baby was another person entirely and would have been loved and adored just like my daughter is now. I sometimes think and wonder about how I could of have had 2 kids already if I didn't miscarry. It's okay to be sad and cry a river. I just wanted to be left alone and cry by myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294039 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:09:32 +0000 winter_wonder 2294039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear about this :sad: I don't know if I have any advice, but just wanted to say I'm very sorry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294037 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:05:42 +0000 travellingbee 2294037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband had a difficult time "getting it" when my 2nd miscarriage was imminent, too. For him it was kind of like, oh bummer. For me, well it was devastating. But they don't get attached like we do and just can't seem to wrap their heads around it. I needed to just very specifically explain how traumatic it was and he tried after that to be more sympathetic and sensitive about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294029 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 18:00:23 +0000 Raindrop 2294029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that sounds super tough! Sorry you are having a bad day. *big hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-day-a-vent#post-2294025 Thu, 17 Sep 2015 17:55:40 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 2294025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just found out today that the numbers are not good for this pregnancy and I will likely miscarry in the next week or so. This will be the 2nd miscarriage in a row. I had one in July</p> <p>. I told Dh this morning and he doesn't understand and still thinks there's a chance of it being OK. Which infuriates me. Also he texted me this afternoon saying he's going to mow tonight, instead of, y'know spending time with his wife. He comes home and doesn't even say anything to me while I'm cooking dinner and doing dishes. I finally finish and sit at the table with him and DD and I'm just sitting there, tearing up and crying and he has the gall to say "what's wrong?" Really!? REALLY!? Here I thought he'd bring me flowers or at least give me a hug when he got home. </p> <p>I'm so upset about this miscarriage and I feel like I haven't gotten any support from my husband. </p> <p>I don't even know what the point to this is. I just needed somewhere to vent. </p>