https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 08:28:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare/page/2#post-1600216 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 15:57:26 +0000 Happygal 1600216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I obviously do not have first-hand experience with this, but have so many friends who have been in your shoes! One friend tried to balance working at home with an in-house nanny, and she found that difficult. She just switched to daycare. </p> <p>For most of my friends, the first few weeks are rough, but it gets better! One thing a friend did that I thought was really smart was drop the baby off just for a practice run before a full day back at work. It helped ease anxiety.</p> <p>One of my friend's baby loves her daycare, and she crawls right over to all of her friends. It's really cute to see the artwork and educational activities they send home (her baby is 10 months). It's going to be ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare/page/2#post-1599399 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 12:02:59 +0000 Ajsmommy 1599399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: I utilized a service that my company offers. It was great...I called our healthcare line and they transferred me to this dept and they took all my info and what i was looking for including hours, cost, location and then they provided a list of qualified providers that fit all of my criteria. They were all certified and everything. It worked out great. We then set up interviews and made a list of questions for each one. We knew right away when we met or daycare provider! It just felt right! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599287 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:31:57 +0000 lilteacherbee 1599287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been wondering how you're doing :) I've missed you!! We're really lucky in that my mom watches LO, but I've worked in several daycares. If it makes you feel better, the vast majority of childcare professionals really do care about the babies. I worked in an infant room for a couple of months and loved it! Hugs!!! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599283 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:30:53 +0000 catlady 1599283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: I don't work from home, but I tried to do some work from home towards the end of my maternity leave to make some extra money, and I felt the same way as you. I simply couldn't focus on LO and also on my job while she and I were both home. Putting LO in daycare worked out great for us. She loves it there and she is thriving. I think the key is finding a daycare that you really like. We toured a few and some of them made us very sad (rooms with no windows, teachers that seemed aloof). Our current daycare isn't perfect but the teachers love her and I feel very comfortable leaving her there every day.</p> <p>One other thing, I never thought I'd want to be a SAHM either but I started feeling that way towards the end of my maternity leave. I decided to go back to work and give it a few months to see if that feeling persisted. If it had, I probably would have tried to work out a way to stay home with LO. But in the end, I think I'm a better mom because I have my career. So you may end up feeling better about things in time. Best of luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599260 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:25:41 +0000 plantains 1599260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs, it will be okay. My DD was home with a nanny until 15 months and now she goes to a daycare centre. Now that I have done both, I am pretty certain that I will send my next LO to the daycare center at 6 months. The anny was really convenient but daycare has been amazing. I love my centre and DD does too. She has a great time, and they take such great care of the kids and give professional detailed reports. </p> <p>They also send me photos and videos all the time, and I love that she has a whole crew of daycare buddies we run into at the playground on weekends. I also think that as babies morph in tantrumming toddlers it certainly becomes a lot easier to drop them off at daycare for a bit! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599205 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:05:33 +0000 Cherrybee 1599205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: And we will be here for you all the way. We all know how hard this is. Lots of love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599143 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:51:50 +0000 sweetooth 1599143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: The one I toured this morning is 5 minutes from our house. That's a great idea though, about dropping in during lunch. I love that idea :) Thank you. I'm glad to hear that D is doing well in daycare!</p> <p>@Cherrybee: That comment totally hits home - it's exactly how I'm feeling. I don't want to miss a minute of this guy's life - but I do know he will be happy and we will all find our new normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599122 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:47:45 +0000 sweetooth 1599122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: Hearing about all of these great in-home daycares really makes me want to widen our search. Thank you for the hug and for sharing :)</p> <p>@snowjewelz: Grandma care is so nice :) I hope that works out for you and you can avoid the child care search.</p> <p>@Honeygold89: Totally agree. I visited one this morning and it helped to see all of the happy kids...even the crying ones too. I just need to expose myself to more of them so I can get comfortable. I held it together in the center, and then burst into tears on my drive home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599107 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:43:42 +0000 sweetooth 1599107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: @Trailmix: @JoJoGirl: @mrs. wagon:<br /> @LuLu Mom: Thanks you guys. I do think I should open my search and look into nanny shares and in-home daycare. It's all a bit overwhelming. Maybe with my husband's help we can divide and conquer. Any advice of where to start that search? </p> <p>@Trailmix: The nanny thing feels like it would be hard for me. I work from home and even with my husband here right now it's difficult to focus on work and not just go be with them all day. I think I need the solitude in order to focus on work, vs. my mommy urges :)</p> <p>@JoJoGirl: That is a great ratio! Glad to hear your little girl is doing well!</p> <p>@LuLu Mom: That set-up would make me feel more comfortable too... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599105 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:42:35 +0000 Cherrybee 1599105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: I've been following this thread all day, reading all the replies and your responses to them. It just reminds me of what my BFF said when she put her son into daycare at 9 months: "I know he's going to love it there, I just wish I could go with him and be part of the fun he has!". I think about that comment often, another 9 months on, because she hit the nail on the head for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599094 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:39:32 +0000 Smurfette 1599094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: I think we bore R at home too. We don't have a lot of toys either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599086 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:37:26 +0000 sweetooth 1599086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: I can see that some sort of supplemental childcare is a necessity, but I think I wanted it to work out differently. I feel like so many things related to babies are things you don't know until "you're in it". </p> <p>@Smurfette: That's so cool that your little one loves daycare. I know it's not a bad place, I don't think daycare is bad. I just need to get more comfortable with it all and like you said, find a place we love. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599073 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:34:06 +0000 ShootingStar 1599073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>D goes to a daycare center, and I've been so much happier with them than I would have thought. His room does have several cribs, but it's not like he's hanging out in there all day with no attention. He's in there to sleep and that's pretty much it. The rest of time he's being held, or in a bouncy seat, or tummy time on the floor, or playing in the exersaucer. </p> <p>Are there any daycares that are really close to your house? You could maybe take an extended lunch and go and feed and play with him for a little while in the middle of the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599072 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:34:02 +0000 sweetooth 1599072@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: We had the same conversations at the end of my maternity leave! <i>"Should we sell the house so we can make this happen?"</i> I'm glad to hear your little girl is doing well and you are surviving. I'm not sure how to look for in-home daycare options, where did you start?</p> <p>@Pumuckl: I remember discussing nanny shares, but like I mentioned to @Ajsmommy about in-home daycare, I'm not sure where to start with a nanny share search. I need to jump in to that research. I've been pretty overwhelmed with all of the daycare applications and paperwork. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1599056 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:30:15 +0000 sweetooth 1599056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: I'm definitely making sure I tour many places so I have things to compare and consider. I know I will also be a mess when we have him in the care of a professional. But I know we will also survive it. It's just a hard road to get to that point. Thanks for relating!</p> <p>@Adira: That's the cutest little visual. Your baby scooting his crib to be closer to his best bud. Thanks for sharing :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598964 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 09:58:52 +0000 Honeygold89 1598964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: I think it will be even easier to handle if you find a daycare that both you and LO love </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598637 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:29:42 +0000 snowjewelz 1598637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Really good, and real thoughts here! Thanks for sharing! I have been banking on the two grandma's being able to babysit 2 days each since DH has 1 week day off; but my SIL is having #2 the same time I'm having #1 and I don't want to compete w/ her for her mom. Thinking about daycare costs, esp in my area, is definitely panic inducing! </p> <p>I am sure when the time comes, you'll be able to do what's best for your baby &amp; your family. Hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598622 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:23:11 +0000 NovBaby1112 1598622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs mama! It is beyond hard leaving your entire world in the care of someone else- but it's a reality for a lot of moms, and finding a place you trust and love will help relieve a lot of the anxiety, worries, and fears. I also second the suggestion of looking into home daycares or nanny share. We toured some centers and in-home daycares and we found an in-home we LOVE. Warm, friendly, home-cooked meals, great childcare ratio, and I just had a good feeling about our daycare lady. Good luck whatever you decide- definately look at more places- you will feel much better when you find a place you love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598595 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:11:50 +0000 LuLu Mom 1598595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: Would you ever consider an in-home? I felt the same way about the cribs/baby rooms. At an in-home they are allowed only 2 babies (for 1 person I believe, at least in our area.) I loved the attention my child got when I first took her there, she was rocked to sleep, cuddled/snuggled every day and our lady would wear her when needed. It made me feel better about leaving her to return to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598589 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:10:11 +0000 mrs. wagon 1598589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: never, never, never easy :( I had the luxury of not sending my kids to daycare until they were over 15 months old... I was a SAHM for the first 18 months with my first, and for my second, our daycare only took 15 months and up so we did a nanny share until she was old enough to start. The nanny share was also at our house so that was AWESOME. (The other baby had a pack n play in my son's room.) Like I said, it was a luxury and I am so so so happy it worked out to my preferences of not having a baby in daycare. </p> <p>Have you looked into a nanny share at all? We loved the experience! We found a SAHM who wanted to nanny another baby of a similar age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598584 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:06:32 +0000 JoJoGirl 1598584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sweetooth: I know it's hard. I'm so sorry.</p> <p>Can you consider an in-home daycare? We were also not comfortable with a "room full of cribs". Our LO is in an amazing daycare that has 8 kids - only 2 babies, and 6 older kids. There are 3 providers watching them (great ratio), and the room only has 2 cribs :) Now that she is almost 1, we wouldn't DREAM of having her home with me or with a nanny - she is a super-social kid who loves her daycare more than she loves being home with me (she's bored at home.. no kids there, not enough toys). They take amazing, amazing care of her and she has been learning and thriving there more than I ever predicted she would. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598574 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:02:21 +0000 Trailmix 1598574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you sure a nanny is too expensive? Only asking bc here in NYC, a nanny is actually the same price as daycare and I see you're in DC so I thought it might be similar? I think you probably could find someone to come to your home for a similar price to day care...or at least maybe do that 2x a week and daycare the other 3 so you still get to spend more time with him? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598565 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:59:21 +0000 blackbird 1598565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you considered an in-home daycare? I am very happy with our decision to put E in one </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598544 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:44:39 +0000 Smurfette 1598544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We knew we wanted R in day care, verses a nanny or in-home center, so different situation. But R LOVES her day care. Every morning I say ok, let's go to school and she walks to the front door. She loves her teachers, has fun all day, is learning so much. No complaints at all. </p> <p>Day care isn't a bad place. Just find a place that you love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598511 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:12:42 +0000 Rubies 1598511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For my family, daycare was a necessary reality and when the time came, I just bit the bullet. I hope everything works out for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598501 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:02:03 +0000 Pumuckl 1598501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was practially gonna say the same things @Adira said in her post above. </p> <p>LO LOVES daycare. He just thrives around the other children and happily jumps off my arms each morning.</p> <p>Good luck at finding a daycare that you feel comfortable with! :heart: One thing that came to my mind though: If you'd generally feel better in a nanny setting have you considered doing a nanny share? Maybe there's someone else in need for childcare in your area that would also like an option like that. :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598494 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 06:56:29 +0000 Ajsmommy 1598494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was exactly like you were! When I was much younger I assumed I'd be a SAHM just bc my mom was and my gram was, I just thought that's what you did. However, flash forward to now and where I live it's just not realistic to only have one income (unless it's a huge income) and both DH and I have to work. I knew this when we decided to have kids and I knew it the entire time I was on maternity leave BUT let me tell you as my maternity leave came to an end I was desperate to find a way to stay home with my LO!!! I even told DH we could sell our dream house and move to another state just to make it doable!! Of course we didn't do that and the time came to take LO to daycare and I survived and she does so well there. She's just as happy when I pick her up as she is when we drop her off! We chose an in home daycare with a lady in our neighborhood. It works out so well and it's made the "daycare" issue a little easier for me. Trust me it's still hard to be away from LO and every monday I still get a little sad.... but I survive. I know I'm doing what is best for my LO and our family. And we still get lots of quality time in the mornings and evenings and ALL weekend :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598491 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 06:54:45 +0000 Adira 1598491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a ton of advice about how to reconcile needing a daycare, because we always knew we would both have to continue working and have one. But I can say that I LOVE having Xander in daycare. He gets to do so many more activities during the day than he would if he was just home with me. And he LOVES hanging out with the other babies. He's even made a best friend there! They even told me that one day when they put him down for his nap, he was able to shuffle his crib all the way over to be next to his friend's crib so he could talk to him!</p> <p>Plus, being able to send your kid to daycare when you're sick or just need a day of rest is sooooooooo nice!</p> <p>Good luck to you! It gets easier and easier every day! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598485 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 06:49:48 +0000 Mamaof2 1598485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is hard!!!</p> <p>I did want to go back to work but it was still hard for me to grasp the fact that I would be leaving my tiny little baby with total strangers :crying: </p> <p>I toured 3 places - the 1st one I went to I cringed and cried - I knew I could never leave my child there.</p> <p>The 2nd place - was a little better but still - so many babies and so few teachers. Ratio here is 1:4 and babies need 1:1 - I creid there too!</p> <p>The 3rd place I immediately felt relief when I walked in - it was calm and happy and I loved the director and teachers - I knew I had finally found a place that I would feel ok leaving DS.</p> <p>All that to say - keep looking - if you find a DCP but don't love it - look again , and again! </p> <p>And once he/she is in DCP regardless of how much you love it you will cry again - DS was happy but I was a mess!</p> <p>It all takes times to adjust to changes - best of luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-hard-time-accepting-the-need-for-daycare#post-1598473 Tue, 29 Apr 2014 06:34:17 +0000 sweetooth 1598473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: thank you :heart: I'm glad you have found a solution that works for you. I know I'll get to the other side of this...right now though, I'm a weepy mess :( </p>