https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 01:01:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837148 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 13:45:42 +0000 LemonJack 2837148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you! I posted about this exact thing last week! We already have two girls, three years apart, and I love the gap. I would like to replicate that again, but for a variety of reasons, we’ll probably end up aiming for a 2 - 2.5 year gap this time around. We just made that decision a few days ago, but were going back and forth on it for awhile.</p> <p>If you’re thinking you’re only going to have two (so time isn’t a huge factor), I would lean toward the three year gap! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837144 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 13:30:39 +0000 LBee 2837144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a little over 3 year gap and it's amazing. LO1 was old enough to have some independence and was/has been such a helper. The maturity that happened between 2.5 years old to 3 years old is incredible. </p> <p>Beyond just the impact it had regarding LO1, personally my body needed that long to recover. I nursed for a full year and just needed some time to feel like me before getting pregnant again. We also had time to enjoy our son as a toddler without pregnancy / infant hood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837130 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:44:56 +0000 Mrsbells 2837130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would be prefer 3 years apart. DD and DS are 4 years apart and DS will have a 2 year age gap between him and the baby on the way. For me having a toddler while pregnant has been much harder than my second pregnancy. Its nice to have one fully potty trained before the next one comes along </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837117 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:04:47 +0000 SweetiePie 2837117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: 33 is so not old ;-) I had my first at 33. Just had my 2nd at 36 and I’ll be 37 next month. Unless it’s more about logistics (wanting to be done by a certain age for things like retirement) I wouldn’t worry. It’s important to do things on a timeline you’re comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837108 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 11:43:27 +0000 PawPrints 2837108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsBAM: 33 is not that old :silly: </p> <p>Our age gap is 2 years 8 months. I think it's a great gap, I would have been ok with a little longer but I don't think I would have wanted any closer together than that. It's enough that DD has been able to understand what's going on during my pregnancy and when DS was a newborn, and quickly caught on to her new role and immediately took to helping out with small tasks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837104 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 11:30:03 +0000 MsBAM 2837104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I wouldn’t mind putting it off but I’m also turning 33 this year so that’s another factor. I don’t know what to do!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837011 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 19:27:34 +0000 SweetiePie 2837011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a 3.5 year gap and it’s been amazing. I truly can’t imagine doing it anywhere closer to 2 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2837010 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 19:19:23 +0000 MsBAM 2837010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks gals!! All this perspective helps :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836714 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:38:11 +0000 Sams Mom 2836714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamatimes3: thank you. FWIW my sister's youngest stepdaughter's birthday is a couple months after the older two's and she doesn't care that she's not included in the joint party. (As mentioned above, the joint party died this last year) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836712 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:35:06 +0000 Sams Mom 2836712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: yea, this is TTC #16 for baby #2, so no breaks here either. Good to know though! Two of my sister's step daughters are basically Irish twins (younger one 5 days before older one's 1st birthday all within the week before Christmas) and they combined parties with this year being the last one for a bit (9 y/o wants her own party for her 10th)... But my sister wasn't in their lives until the last 4 years, so I don't have much info on the younger years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836711 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:31:53 +0000 Mamatimes3 2836711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: yes, my daughter is on the 9th and my son is on the 12th. They are 2 and 4. When my daughter turned 1, she had a party but my son didn’t. And then this year, he had one but she didn’t. I don’t really know what we’ll do going forward. It just doesn’t seem right to have them share a party and then their brother doesn’t? We’ve discussed doing one in April and then one in June. Right now it’s the same people invited to both. But in the future as they get different friends, I think we’ll definitely have to do two parties.</p> <p>So far they are too young to understand what really is going on. We do go out to eat and do cake for each on the actual birthday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836710 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:30:30 +0000 bhbee 2836710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: crashing your crash :silly: to say that mine are 11 days apart (3 year gap) and I think it’s mostly fun! I was about to induce to make sure they were not the same exact date. I didn’t intend it to happen, but we were not taking any time off ttc at that point. </p> <p>The younger one has the first bday which may be easier. He was a little confused why he was no longer getting presents on the older one’s bday, but overall I think it might be easier than him getting nothing because the bdays are far apart. Our third is going to be about 6 months off them and I think she’ll be really confused at a young age why they both get presents/cake/fun and she doesn’t. </p> <p>The plus side is combining bday parties some of the time, coordinating gifts (both got scooters one year, nice to get them together), etc. Of course you don’t have to combine it’s just a nice option. I also grew up with a bday 5 days from my brother (also 3 year gap) and again, it was just birthday week at our house and super fun! (Maybe less so for my mom who had to do all the work ...) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836708 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 22:16:11 +0000 Sams Mom 2836708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamatimes3: totally thread crashing for a second. Are your 2nd &amp; 3rd's birthdays within a week of each other? Does it make it hard or cause jealousy or any other issues on birthdays? </p> <p>I ask because I'm in my TWW that happens to line my potential due date up exactly with my now 2 year olds 3rd birthday. Like to the day same first day of last period, same ovulation date, and will likely end up needing a c-section a week+ early again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836703 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 21:26:19 +0000 Mamatimes3 2836703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Twenty months between 1st and 2nd and exactly 2 years between 2nd and 3rd - it’s hard in the beginning but improves as the youngest gets older. I wanted them close in age for several reasons - get the baby phase done at once, I’m on the older side of baby making, and generally I preferred closer in age than farther apart. </p> <p>They don’t remember life before each other and that’s what I wanted. They play and are generally interested in the same things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836668 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 07:51:35 +0000 misolee 2836668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My first and second are 3.5 years apart. My second and third are exactly two years apart. It was def much easier with the bigger age gap. She was already potty trained. She was independent and played alone. When pregnancy left me tired and in bed, she could go and eat a granola bar by herself :silly: With the second and third, it's a little bit more of a challenge bc he's still young. He turned two right before 3rd was born in March. Sometimes I feel like I'm changing diapers all day. When we leave, I have to make sure I have enough diapers for two. He still needs help with most everything, etc.</p> <p>But with all that being said, I'm a firm believer that pregnancy can only be planned so much and you never know what happens so I would start trying right away. I actually had secondary infertility (unexplained) and had to go to RE for medications, shots, triggers, ultrasounds, and eventually an IUI to have our second. Our third was a complete surprise! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836665 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 07:19:11 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2836665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had always planned on a larger gap financially and just being ready for another after our first. DS will be just under 4 years old when baby brother comes early September. Like others, there’s pros and cons to each: getting the baby stuff all over at once vs. Your older being more independent. Our lives have definitely been pretty easy for about a year now as DS sleeps well, is potty trained, and can understand things and communicate. We aren’t slaves to the nap and feeding schedule for quite some time which has been nice. It does make me nervous for the big change and regressing back to newborn days but I know we can handle it and DS seems to get it. We simply weren’t ready and couldn’t have afforded two in daycare anyway so I feel confident. I would start trying as soon as you are ready and try not to stick too much to the gap you think you want just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836661 Sun, 29 Jul 2018 01:06:11 +0000 thepaperbutterfly 2836661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So my situation was reversed. We have a little girl that is 18 months old and I'm 5 months pregnant now, so she'll be 23 months when second baby is born It took a full year to get pregnant with her. I had long and somewhat irregular cycles. I ovulated, but it just took forever (cycles were like 40-50 days long). I had a chemical pregnancy a few cycles before my daughter was conceived. I ended up doing fertility acupuncture and making an appointment with a prominent infertility center as I was approaching 1 year of TTC with no viable pregnancy. I got pregnant before I ever saw a doctor for infertility, but I didn't cancel that appointment till a few days before because I had a previous chemical pregnancy and knew how easily a miscarriage could happen. </p> <p>For this second baby, the soonest we could try was 12 months post-partum because I had a C-section. My cycles didn't come back until I fully stopped breastfeeding. I'm subfertile, so that didn't really surprise me. Also, I was working with a hip preservation surgeon for a fourth hip surgery. I figured I might even have surgery before a second baby. We were planning on it taking at least a year to conceive baby #2 because my husband and I are even older (33 years old (me) and 37 years old (husband)) than we were with DD1. I conceived this second baby on the first cycle trying, and it stuck XD I kept telling myself how easily we could lose this baby, and mentally preparing for this pregnancy not to work out. We were so happy and excited, but a bit scared because we weren't sure if we were ready for another baby so soon.</p> <p>My daughter doesn't really understand that I'm pregnant with a baby, but if I raise my shirt up and pat my belly, she flashes a big smile, raises her shirt up and pats her belly too X3 </p> <p>Long story short, you never know how things are going to turn out. If I had to plan for a second baby, I wouldn't have picked a Dec. due date because DD1 was born in January, and my husband's birthday is Dec. 20th, so Christmastime will be extra crazy, but it is what it is, and we are looking forward to our Christmas baby :D From my experience conceiving DD1, planning was of little consequence. Babies don't really care XD I think I would have preferred the 3 year age gap, but there are pros and cons to a 2 year age gap. I also would have preferred to give DD1 a sister, but she's getting a brother instead :P </p> <p>If you want another baby just start trying now and see what happens. It may take a month or 12+ months. It's hard to say. My mom was 26 and 28 when she got pregnant with me and my sister, and she got pregnant first try each time. So if you're under 30 and it happened easily the first time, chances are it will happen easily the second, but you really never know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836654 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 21:48:14 +0000 crazydoglady 2836654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I 100% agree with @MamaBear87: and @bhbee:<br /> We started trying when the thought of being pregnant didn't make me feel like running in the opposite direction. I assumed I would get pregnant quickly, but it took nearly a year. My advice is to start when you are ready, but be prepared that it might happen right away AND take a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836647 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 18:05:13 +0000 MrsDynamiteGal 2836647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had our boys about 22 months apart. I guess we never took into consideration the timing. It just felt time to try for a sibling for DS1, and six months later we conceived. </p> <p>Having them close in age has its ups and downs. There was some initial jealousy but it never really surfaced in extreme ways. But I just love how close they are. They annoy each other yet love each other. Clothes are easily passed down. They help each other and play well together. </p> <p>With both boys now in school we are more comfortable trying for our third musketeer. Plus the boys have been asking. So I guess it just naturally feels like it's time. </p> <p>Go with your gut instinct mama. It will have its challenges but will also be a blessing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836644 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 17:44:20 +0000 Sams Mom 2836644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second and third the start trying when you can handle a second because it doesn't always go as planned. I wanted a 2 year age gap, started trying right around my son's 1st birthday thinking we wouldn't be lucky enough to have a first cycle baby (he was a surprise baby), and now I'm closing in on the end of my 16th cycle and have done 5 clomid cycles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836642 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 17:40:01 +0000 Ms. RV 2836642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a three year gap (actually 34 months). We went with three years so DD would be potty trained before DS arrived. She turns 3 in two weeks and still isn't potty trained. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836631 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 15:04:34 +0000 bhbee 2836631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m a big fan of 3! Mine will be 3 and 3.5 between and I loved having the older ones be more independent and helpful. My older two are still best buddies.<br /> However I’ve also experienced losses and many bfns and clomid cycles and agree with above that start when you think it would be manageable. We started where it would have been a little under and a little over 2.5 which seemed doable, and 3 and 3.5 is what we got. I think you make the best of what you get and it seems great to you when you get there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836622 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 11:31:21 +0000 Pollywog 2836622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kids are 26 months apart. It was hard to be pregnant with my kid that young. He wasn't fully mobile and I had to do a lot of lifting and holding. He was also too young to fully get what was happening. </p> <p>My kid potty trained while my newborn was 2 weeks old (obviously that was LO's idea, not mine). It wasn't bad. I have a little potty in my living room and nursed while helping him undress and wipe multiple times. </p> <p>Having two little ones is a challenge, but it's a lot of fun. My big boy loves to help and loves the little one </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836614 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 10:58:58 +0000 MamaBear87 2836614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started trying when my little turned 2. We're now on cycle 8 of trying, and our lo was a cycle 1 baby. We started trying when we felt like we could handle another kid and me being pregnant. We've now had to adjust our vision of our family. So if it was me I'd start trying whenever you feel you could handle another and not get too set in a particular age gap </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-a-lo-2-years-apart-or-3-years-apart#post-2836612 Sat, 28 Jul 2018 10:49:30 +0000 MsBAM 2836612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi!! </p> <p>So we are thinking of TTC soon, maybe in a couple months Currently have a 14mo. They would be two years apart if I got pregnant right away and it worked out. I think that would be nice to have them close in age. But I also think it will be a lot more work bc by the time the baby is born, LO would be starting potty training and I want to BF #2 so I don’t know how hard that will be. If they’re three years apart, LO can help with small tasks so it might be easier but then they might not be as close. Also we were thinking of having them closer together just to get those stages done with since we’re already going through it now. What are the pros and cons of both? Do you feel like it was better for you to have them close together or further apart? </p>