https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 19:28:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-989223 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 06:39:28 +0000 mediagirl 989223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I thought about not having kids for many years. We both agreed when we started trying to have a baby that we wouldn't try any interventions to have one. We felt that if we were meant to be parents, we would be. If we weren't, modern medicine was not the answer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-989183 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 03:41:05 +0000 BSB 989183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dealing with IF has made me realize how bad I want to start a family. It took me a while to want to have kids prior to being engaged so I'm sure there was a time where I thought I could be childless and be happy. I also think if my husband did not want kids that I could have adapted my thinking to think childless was ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-989154 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 02:13:27 +0000 erinpye 989154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Until I hit about 25, I wasn't entirely sure I'd want kids, even though I always imagined myself eventually having them. They kind of terrified me, and I didn't even like holding babies. Then, something in me changed, and I desired to have children deeply. I have everything I've ever wanted as far as my marriage and career, and I would say no, my life would not have been complete, nor would I be 100% satisfied, without having my DD and second baby on the way. (And for the record, I now LOVE holding babies!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-989153 Mon, 05 Aug 2013 02:09:14 +0000 ScarletBegonia 989153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I could have been very happy without children! At almost 10 weeks pregnant I have to admit I'm thinking more about what I'm giving up than what I'll get, but I guess that's because I don't know yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-985030 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 12:38:46 +0000 LazyLightning 985030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read a lot about being childless and I can say that I think we would have been quite happy that way. I'm sure having a child will be rewarding too (LO is 2 months now) but we could have gone either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-985027 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 12:36:32 +0000 BKCaribBaby 985027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>EXACTLY what @yoursilverlining wrote above. I love having her in my life, but I could have found ways to be happy without a child and even without a husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984910 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:49:04 +0000 Bookish 984910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't want kids until I met DH, so if I hadn't, I think I would have been fine without a baby. However, I did meet DH, and our family did not feel complete until DD got here. I've got two BFFs now :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984805 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:26:48 +0000 lizzywiz 984805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also dealt with infertility so this question has come up before.<br /> Yes, I would/could have been happy without children BUT I would have needed to investigate what that would mean for me. </p> <p>I would not say LO gave my life meaning or purpose. Like @yoursilverlining, I have always tried to search within for happiness and completion, but LO definitely gave my life focus. I was married, had my career and was a bit aimless as to what to do next while we dealt with infertility, which gave me a feeling of dissatisfaction. I was drinking a bit much and I could easily see that escalating if I meandered along that same path.<br /> I think being on the fence is soul sucking. I probably would have given it 1 more year before letting go and committing to a happy, child free life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984748 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:10:32 +0000 bpcmarj 984748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I honestly don't think I could. DH and I met as teenagers and have been talking about having a family and a child of our own since then. He has always wanted to be a father, and I a mother. I truly feel that I would have felt like something was missing if I did not have a baby. Not to say that someone can't be fulfilled without a child, I am just not that person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984740 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:08:39 +0000 yoursilverlining 984740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've worked really hard (and maybe some of it is just my natural personality) not to tie my happiness to anyone but myself. That includes children, so no, I didn't need to have children to feel 100% fulfilled and happy. DH and I were a complete family pre-bebe, we just expanded our family when we had LO.</p> <p>I also have never felt the bio clock ticking or the urge to have children, or felt that being a mother was a "calling"....I just explore each option as it comes along; as being a mother now with my husband is nothing like being a mother would have been at any other point in my life with any other partner.</p> <p>We have lots of friends who are childfree by choice, and they are all definitely happy and fulfilled. I could also be fulfilled with a fantastic group of friends, a great partner, traveling often, eating out often and living life on my own schedule. </p> <p>Of course, it's a loaded question since now that LO is here I cannot imagine life without her squishy little face &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984604 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 10:36:51 +0000 mynoahbear 984604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would have been fine if we didn't have kids. I'm so happy being a mom and I wouldn't change it for the world but I also know that if we had decided not to have kids or couldn't have kids, I would still be happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984565 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 10:29:00 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 984565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because of IF I have thought a lot about this. I would be okay if it never happened for us. I don't feel like something is missing from our family because we don't have a LO. A baby will be a bonus, and we absolutely want to have one. But I don't need to have a LO to be happy or complete. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984521 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 10:18:35 +0000 mlm2934 984521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never felt strongly about wanting kids until after my 27th bday. Before that I was always on the fence. Even though I said I wanted them some day, it was more of that's what suppose to happen sentiment and bc I knew my DH wanted them. Now I have a deep desire to have children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-984489 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 10:12:40 +0000 littlebittyhouse 984489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always felt a strong calling to be a wife and mother. However, if DH and I were unable to I know that I would be fufilled without them. I know I wuld have always felt like I was missing out but I really do feel like we would have made the best of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-982924 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 19:37:45 +0000 MrsStormy 982924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I could have been totally happy and content without children, but I didn't really realize that until I was already married, so I married a man who wanted kids, so its a good thing I am glad to be expecting one! I do think though that had we tried to get pregnant and were unsuccessful it would have made it a lot harder for me to be satisfied with not having them, just because we would have been focused on it for so long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-982885 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 19:28:49 +0000 lolabee 982885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like a lot of previous posters, I felt the need to become a Mother. I wanted to be a mom more than be married. That being said, I thought I would be prepared to take steps to be a mom if I hadn't met the right man before it was 'too late'. Obviously it didn't boil down to that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children/page/2#post-982774 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 19:08:35 +0000 hilsy85 982774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NovBaby1112: exactly this. I think before LO I could have been happy without having kids (never knowing what I was missing I guess), but now that he's here I can't imagine not having him/other children in my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982704 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:54:53 +0000 NovBaby1112 982704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i think before having kids i could have imagined having a fufilling life in other ways- travelling with DH, dedicating myself and my life to helping others, etc. however, now that i am a mom, i cannot imagine my life being fufilling without my LO. she is my entire life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982679 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:50:43 +0000 TheReelDeal 982679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I would find a way to be fulfilled without them. But that doesn't change how much I would like to have them. As many others have said, having issues conceiving means you ask yourself this very question at least 100 times a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982665 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:49:07 +0000 mrsjyw 982665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i couldn't be happy without being a mother. but i know plenty of ppl dont feel the calling and i think it's perfectly normal! we don't all want the same things in life, parenthood isn't a choice for everyone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982651 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:46:47 +0000 MsMamaBear 982651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I would have been happy if I hadn't become a mom. I didn't have Baby Bear until I was 30, so it was a LONG time. lol. I didn't have a urge to be a mom, or even be married, until I met my ex at 27. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982615 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:42:01 +0000 .twist. 982615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always wanted to be a mom. Since I can remember, it's been a huge non-negotiable part of my life. As others have mentioned, I felt more strongly about children than marriage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982573 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:35:38 +0000 CathleyaS 982573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have children yet, and to be completely honest am not feeling the urge to have them. (Even so, we will definitely attempt to start a family in the next 5 years.) It's weird but when I think about it, I think the regrets would come in my late 40s-early 50s. But I also think that's just me projecting...my parents have childless friends and they are completely happy and carefree. They seem younger than people around their age as well (likely because they have a lot more time to spend nurturing themselves, and not others. Again, just a guess.). </p> <p>That being said, I always look at them and think...wow, are they happy without kids? How can that be so? (I'm fairly confident that they are.) But the fact that every time I look at them and think that makes me think that it's me projecting, and that yes, I would very much regret not having children, despite not having any immediate urge to do so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982553 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 18:33:56 +0000 DigAPony 982553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl. I know I'd always feel like something was missing if I never had kids. </p> <p>I've also always known that if I reached a certain age and was still single, that I'd pursue a sperm donor and become a single mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982361 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 17:47:48 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 982361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I can say this now because I am childless. But, honestly if babies never happen for me I will not lament. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982359 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 17:47:40 +0000 Running Elley 982359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I'd never feel/be fulfilled if I hadn't had children. I've wanted to be a mother for my entire life and it's brought a whole new purpose to my life that I didn't know I could even experience. If the man I fell in love with hadn't wanted children it would've been a deal breaker for me. Luckily DH wanted to raise children as much as I did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982351 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 17:42:21 +0000 MrsH 982351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Kids were negotiable for dh and I although we are thrilled to be pregnant too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982346 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 17:41:06 +0000 MrsTal 982346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Having trouble TTC and adoption being so expensive, it comes up a lot between DH and I. We definitely think we would be fulfilled and happy without children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982224 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 16:49:51 +0000 spaniellove 982224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something I've been thinking about as we near the end of our fertility treatments and consider "what next". I think I would have to find a way to make life work not having children, as adoption is not in the cards for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-it-all-without-having-children#post-982190 Thu, 01 Aug 2013 16:34:30 +0000 Ginabean3 982190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't be satisfied if I did not have kids. Ever since I was little ie imagined what it would be like to be a mom! And what my kids would look like! But..if I couldn't have them biologically I would adopt. Being a mom is more important than being a biological mom to me. </p>