https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 15:16:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49410 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:37:59 +0000 plantains 49410@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww, sorry to hear about this. Don't worry they will get past it. I feel like anyone who hasn't bought an apartment in NYC just doesn't understand how dramatic and difficult the process is and how thrilling it is to come out on the other side. Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49311 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:39:02 +0000 heffalump 49311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: That's just silly. I feel like it's their problem, not yours. They'll get over it in time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49254 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:41:22 +0000 Modern Daisy 49254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, @MrBee! My sisters are both very passive aggressive. It's always been the biggest issue in our relationship. You know they're mad if you don't hear anything from them at all! I predict they will always have a sore spot about this, but I am hoping that with time they can get past it at least on the surface. We are a pretty close family and it would break my heart to think that I had lost them. Over this! It's not like I did anything intentionally to hurt or neglect them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49244 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:33:22 +0000 Modern Daisy 49244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: It would infuriate my sisters to hear me say this, but I totally agree with everything you said. I was happy for my brother when my parents paid for his home addition, bought him two cars and paid for a fulltime nanny so that his wife could stay home with 4 kids. And I didn't run up to my parents and say "Where's my check?" I knew my time would come, and when I needed help they would be there. I think the difference is that my sisters never ask my parents for anything and they're mad at me because I did. My oldest sister was offered almost the same amount I was given and she accepted, but she didn't ask for it so in her mind it doesn't count. And what's funny is that I was the one behind the scenes encouraging my parents to offer her the money, because I knew she wouldn't ask and I knew she needed it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49239 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:30:22 +0000 mrbee 49239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wrestle with similar family dynamics. When someone feels you were the favorite, no amount of facts or logic can dissuade them.</p> <p>It's pretty messed up to give a sibling the silent treatment. They are acting out a childhood dynamic, and it's not reflecting well on them. :-( hopefully they come to their senses!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49236 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:24:50 +0000 Modern Daisy 49236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Thank you so much, that is really what I needed to hear. I know it isn't JUST jealousy or anger, I know they also probably don't think it's such a big deal. Maybe because I didn't make a big deal about it, and they're already homeowners themselves. The polite thing to do though would still be to say Congratulations, but since they're mad about it that's just not going to happen. I am planning on letting it blow over and only talking about it if they bring it up. I will see them both this Saturday at my nephew's birthday party (oldest sisters son) so hopefully being together will help break the ice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49234 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:24:34 +0000 heffalump 49234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That seems pretty immature to me. My parents have always been pretty open that they don't treat their kids equally, they just give what they can when they can. So if they can afford to help me when buying my house but couldn't afford to help my siblings at the time that they bought their house, well too bad. I feel like we should just appreciate what we get, and be happy for our siblings when they're able to get stuff too.</p> <p>I think how you deal with it depends on your relationship with them, and it seems like you already know that making a big deal out of it won't help things. I would let it go and hope it blows over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49232 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:22:51 +0000 Mrsbells 49232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>^ I agree!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49230 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:15:54 +0000 yoursilverlining 49230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn’t push it right now, it will most likely blow over on its own. Money is a funny thing, and one of the easiest ways for people (including family) to feel hurt and offended, especially if all siblings don’t receive the same monetary assistance for the same types of major life situations (weddings, home buying, etc.). </p> <p>I know home buying is exciting, but sort of like weddings, its much more exciting to you than anyone else. Depending on where your sisters are in their lives, they might not be 100% excited for your progress – they might feel jealous, or happy but reserved, or any number of emotions. Even if they are totally excited, a lot of people just don’t get that publically excited about home ownership. </p> <p>I’m sure it will blow over! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49226 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:13:27 +0000 Modern Daisy 49226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks @rubies and @mrslilybugg! The problem is, I can't 'go there' with comparing what we've been given, because it will start WWII. In their minds, I have always gotten more and it's true in this case that I was given a bigger sum than they were for their homes (they don't live in NYC). And yes, we are close I talk to my middle sister multiple times a day and feel like I could tell my oldest sister anything. They were my co-MOH's! I think maybe telling one of them how the icing is making me feel is a good idea. I am just so afraid it will cause a huge blowup though.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49222 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:04:37 +0000 Rubies 49222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My immediate reaction is, "WTF is wrong with them? Tell them to grow up!" But I know it's much more than that. Prior to this spat, are you and your sisters close (in general)? Are you closer to one of them? If it were me, I would talk to just one sister to clarify the issue and to say how it makes you feel that they are ganging up on you. Then when one sister can understand how you feel maybe she'll pass the sentiment onto sister #2. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49215 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 09:53:03 +0000 MrsLilybugg 49215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh, that's not very fair of them at all :( I"m sorry you're dealing with this. The good thing about sisters (and i know you know this) is that even when things get ugly they always resolve in the end. I think maybe you should let them know how you feel. Maybe call them and say "listen, I feel like you guys are mad at me cause mom helped me out a little but she's helped you guys out too and that's never bothered me..." Maybe provide examples if they get 'ugly' about it. Or text them how you feel. Sometimes I find texting my sisters is less confrontational. Getting a new home is exciting - congrats!! I hope they come around quick. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/having-trouble-with-sisters-reactions#post-49211 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 09:46:11 +0000 Modern Daisy 49211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Or lack thereof..</p> <p>I bought an apartment two weeks ago and moved in this past Friday. To me, it's a really big deal because I'm 30 years old and finally a homeowner! But what's been bugging me is the fact that my two older sisters have chosen to 'ice' me. They have not spoken to me at all since I made the general announcement (to our whole family) and only after I wished my oldest sister Happy Birthday this weekend did she finally text back "thx - congrats on the apartment - what's your new address?" My other sister hasn't spoken a word to me in two weeks and we usually speak multiple times a day.</p> <p>The reason they are so mad is because they know our parents helped me with the down payment. And even though they have received (almost) the same amount from our parents for similar things, they are mad at me because they think I'm the favorite. I am the youngest and everything has always been easier for me. So they are ganging up on me and giving the silent treatment.</p> <p>I'm trying not to let it bother me, but it does. I feel really lonely like I lost two friends and I don't think it's fair that they're taking out their anger on me. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? Should I try to reach out to them, and if so, what should i say? I'm afraid they will just blow up at me if I try to open up a line of communication. </p>